with everything that had happened recently, with ben, snoke, ravana, everyone, rey had begun taking more time to herself. usually that meant working on the falcon, hoping to get it looking better for when han finally returned. whenever that would be. with the return of her rougher side came the return of her clothing from jakku. the tan tabard, the arm wraps, the leather belt. and the three buns. it just felt right. she had just been working on the engine, grease all over her face, when she’d stopped for lunch, sitting in the field on the opened hatch of the falcon and eating with her fingers. she felt very much like the scavenger on jakku again. the only thing that remained from her new self was her custom constructed staffsaber. even though she had thought her life was so miserable when she’d been like this, she somehow found comfort in it now. she began to imagine what it would be like returning to jakku, making herself ‘no one’ yet again, and starving, but independent and worry-free. was the idea tempting? yes. but could she ever do it? no. even if she could get off this planet, ben and finn and the others would not let her. but... when they were free. when the barrier was gone and the force was balanced. perhaps then she could begin a new life where she didn’t bring pain to the people around her, since there would be no one around to hurt.
she scraped up the last remnants of food with her fingers then licked them clean. the portion was small, but it was more than enough for her. she never did eat too much, or else her stomach would ache. as she began licking her plate free of all the leftover bits and crumbs, she noticed a familiar figure approaching from the distance, and her eyes narrowed over the dish. slowly, she set it down at her side, her poor vision not allowing her to see who it truly was. but the force gave her all the confirmation she needed. “...luke...” she whispered to herself in shock. it had felt like ages since they’d spoken last. he still didn’t know about her and ben, or anything that had happened at the ball. it was only fair for her to fill him in. she stood slowly and set the plate down, grabbing her lightsaber and approaching him. she realized then he had never seen her in her desert rags before; she wondered if he thought any less of her. “hi...” she murmured quietly when they were finally face to face, a sad smile tugging at her lips. did he still care for her? surely he did, it hadn’t been too long since they parted last. right?
