death, it seemed, always came too early. he had not been a young man the first time he’d died, not exactly, but he’d perished far younger than humans were supposed to. rebels never did have long lifespans. this time, however, death seemed especially cruel. he was young again, babyfaced and energetic, and he’d finally told orion all of the things he’d wanted to tell her. yet somehow, even now, he had been too late. there hadn’t been enough time, not in this life nor the last, and he wondered why he’d been brought back to life at all. was this some sort of cruel trick? or perhaps it was punishment for something he’d done decades ago.
he watched through the glass as orion broke down into tears, little salty streaks streaming down her face, and he wished for nothing more than to reach out and brush them away. quarantine restricted him from doing so, and gael was forced too watch her weep. “i don’t either,” he murmured. it had become harder and harder for gael to meet her eye. he’d have sooner torn his heart from his chest than forced orion to endure this sort of suffering, and all for him. him. as if gael was worth this sort of suffering. “i’m not calm,” he confessed. beneath it all, gael felt as though he was going to come undone at any moment now, but if he broke down too they’d be entirely inconsolable. “i feel like i can’t breathe sometimes, but i’m trying to keep myself together.” he shrugged a shoulder helplessly, “i wanna make these last… i wanna make this count for something.” nothing would be accomplished here if they were both miserable.
if it was up to gael, he wouldn’t have chosen to leave orion this time. there was nothing greater at play, her life was not at risk, this death felt rather pointless. he would be one of dozens and dozens to die, and there would be nothing at all accomplished in his end. this was not a death for the rebellion, but a life wasted because of some leak in an old, shitty lab.
almost as soon as gael had spoken those words, he realized the gravity of what he’d said. he wanted to tell her, it was important that orion knew how he felt in these last moments of his life, but kriff, he’d just confessed to something that he wasn’t ready to say yet. after all, gael and orion had only just started to date. but it was the truth. if she asked, he would have to tell her that yes, he did love her. he had loved her for so, so incredibly long. just as the silence between them had started to feel uncomfortable, she spoken the very words he’d hoped to hear. at once, his expression erupted into a grin. illness aside, gael was thrilled to hear that she loved him. “so much,” he agreed, tipping his forehead against the glass as if to meet hers. the glass was so thick that he couldn’t even feel her warmth yet. “i do too,” he agreed with a little frown, “but at least this time around we told each other.” his smile weakened and he shrugged a shoulder. “maybe next time we’ll get to have a little more time.” as soon as he’d spoken, gael felt the ache blossom in his chest and he winced. “… how’s the cure going anyway?”
she smiled at him through her tears and lightly nudged the glass with her nose as if it weren’t the thing that was separating them at the moment. “we should’ve ran away together,” orion suddenly said as the thought popped into her mind. “into the lake country or something. where no one and nothing could ever find us. not even this damned virus...” she sighed. it sounded like a dream, maybe even paradise. to live together, free of war and sadness. they could just be their carefree selves without a reason to worry about anything. “i’m glad,” orion replies with a laugh. “that we didn’t wait for another fifty years to tell each other the truth,” she shook her head and rolled her eyes. “even though i’ve loved you for a very long time.”
her mood drops back to it’s solemn state as her eyes flickered away from his. she let out a huge sigh as she felt the weight that had been lifted from her chest gently place itself back onto her heart once more. “i wish i had better news,” orion confessed, playing and picking at her fingers. she had just spent quite a while crying about how she didn’t want him to die but there wasn’t even a cure to be given in the first place. “we’re trying,” she assured but even then, hope was beginning to fade among the searchers. they all felt like they were reading a foreign language, not really understanding what the specific thing they were looking for was. the storage room was a mess, pages and pages of documents and logs were scattered into piles, most of them useless. “and we’re going to find something.” it’s more of a reassurance to herself but also to him. perhaps if they believed hard enough then something would actually come up somehow. orion hesitated before adding in a small, “i promise.”
a comfortable silence falls over the two of them as she shifts her position on the floor, her forehead still resting against the cool glass, her hot skin felt nice on it. there was no use in sulking over each other and wallowing in pity when their time was running out. “do you remember that one time...” orion couldn’t help but let a laugh escape from her dry lips. her face lighting up for the first time in days. “when we were.. kriff i don’t know... seventeen? and we snuck out of our cabin in the middle of the night with jugs of homemade fozbeer?” she asked, the scene of them trying to tiptoe out of the base without being caught red handed played through her mind. “and there was that old crashed ship in the middle of the forest and we got so drunk.”
“i don’t even remember what we did. we probably played some stupid game and made out before falling asleep. then we woke up the next day feeling like absolute shit and we missed our morning session, didn’t we? we kind of did the walk of shame back to base, i’m sure. that was pretty fucking embarrassing... i think we were on kitchen duty for at least, what, a month? our superiors were not happy with us. i know for a fact that my parents weren’t.” tired giggles bubbled from her lips. orion missed the days where they were both wide eyed teenagers just starting off in the war. they hadn’t known what they were getting themselves into.
but look at them now. gael and orion had come so far from drunken nights that were filled with so much laughter that their stomachs hurt from the beer and smiles and secret kisses that started their entire track of keeping their feelings from one another. orion getting scolded from her high ranking parents but they had always liked gael. after all, they were just kids at the time who didn’t know any better. “gotta say, i still had the best aim in class that day even though i almost passed out from my headache,” she added with a shake of her head. “i can’t believe how stupid we used to be.”
