#starsnowmc

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this thunderstorm better not knock out the wifi before i finish formatting this. anyways enjoy lord xia getting what's coming to him

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: misogyny, violence, abuse

You were utterly livid.

Fists clenched, you stormed down the hallway towards the chambers your parents had been lodging in, ready to kick the door down if you needed to. With the amount of adrenaline running through your system, you probably could kick down the door, despite how big and heavy it probably was.

Though your parents went through great lengths to hide it, you had always been neglected as a child. Plain and simple. Your parents had always been much more focused on each other than they had been on you, and you'd grown up knowing that in your soul. It was almost like they forgot you existed sometimes. If your half-brother, Caleb, hadn't been there, who knows what would have happened to you.

Given the circumstances, Caleb should never have liked you. You were the child of the woman his father'd had an affair with, after all. Despite it all, he stepped up and practically raised you, making sure you stayed safe, fed, clothed, and happy as you could be. He wouldn't ever say it out loud, but the whole reason he entered the military in the first place was because you needed a dowry good enough to attract a man that he deemed "suitable".

You briefly wondered what Caleb would think about all of this. He'd never been a big fan of your parents, but he always tried to outwardly respect them for appearances' sake, even if he was dying to knock them down a peg on the inside. Something like this would probably end up in him beating up your father. (You kind of wanted to see that.)

Reaching the door, you abandoned all sense of propriety and started to bang your fist against the wood. "Father! Open up, I know you're in there!"

Your parents hadn't even bothered to leave their room since the night of your wedding, as far as you knew. They generally didn't leave the house when you were at home unless your mother was off to a party or your father was off to gamble, so this wasn't surprising, but it did disgust you that they would make such a poor impression.

You could hear stumbling and cursing behind the door before it swung open, your father coming into view.

"What's the matter?" he slurred, a deep flush visible on his face. Great. He was drunk.

You were filled with even more rage, somehow. "I need to talk to you. Right now."

"Can't it wait? Your mother and I—"

"I don't care," you interrupted, forcing your way into the room and shoving him aside.

"Ugh. So inconsiderate."

That statement struck a nerve, so you whirled around and pointed your finger right in his face. "I know what you did."

Lord Xia gave you a confused look. "What? Be more specific, girl, I don't—"

"What happened on my wedding night," you elaborated. "The drugs. The bribing. I know that you did something to the contract, too. All of it."

His face paled briefly, before turning even redder with rage. "How dare you accuse your father like this! I—"

"Don't bother arguing with me. I don't want to fucking hear it." You jabbed your finger into his chest, voice steadily getting louder. "How dare you drug your own damn daughter? All for, what, more gambling money? More wine?"

"Listen, girl—"

"No. No, I will not listen. Have you ever considered me to be a human being? You and Mother never cared about me, I know that much, but have you ever spared a passing thought to how I feel about things?" You were getting close to screaming now, and you briefly wondered if anyone could hear, but you shoved that thought away. "Half the time, Caleb had to skip meals to make sure I got fed while you were off doing Astra knows what. And now, you marry me off to a stranger, drug both of us, and humiliate me by not even bothering to make sure I have proper clothes to wear. Do you ever fucking think, Father? Does it not occur to you what people think about us?"

Lord Xia cursed, reaching out to grab you, but you sidestepped and let him stumble into a wardrobe.

"You're out here, gambling Caleb's inheritance away and letting me be humiliated in front of my husband. It makes you look fucking pathetic, you piece of utter shit!" You wanted to kick him as he struggled to get up, but you held back in case someone happened to be watching. "I wish I was never your daughter!"

Your father staggered to his feet and lunged for you, managing to grab you by the fabric of your dress and drag you closer to him.

"You useless girl," he hissed in your face, breath stinking of alcohol and words slurring together. "I provide for you for 20 years, and this is the thanks I get? I even got you a rich husband. You should be prostrating yourself on the ground and begging for my forgiveness."

"Should I thank you for neglecting me as a child? I don't fucking thing so!" You tried to squirm out of his grip, but he, surprisingly, managed to hold on to you.

"I did not neglect you. I did what any father would have done!"

"Let their son raise their daughter? Let their daughter get taken advantage of?"

"Listen to me," he yelled at you, making your ears ring. "I own you. I own your womb. If that man wants heirs, he better be paying me every damn time you pop out a brat for him. Daughters are worth nothing more than how many children they produce for their husbands and how much money they make for their fathers."

"You disgust me!" you screamed back, trying to writhe out of his grip. You didn't want to tear your dress, but if that was what it took to get away, you were fine with that.

In response, your father raised his fist, poised to bring it down on you. You froze, fear flooding your body as your eyes went wide.

He was going to hit you, and you were going to have to take it. Caleb wasn't around to be his punching bag this time.

"Unhand her."

A hand grabbed your father's wrist and wrenched it back, and your father went with it, letting go as he stumbled backwards.

Your husband stood there, glaring down at your father, a look of what you could only describe as pure rage on his face. "Care to explain what you were about to do, Lord Xia?"

Lord Xia had a panicked look on his face as he spluttered. "Lord Li! I—I was just—my daughter insulted me, you see, and I—"

"I could hear everything." Lord Zayne's tone was icy. "It seems like you were insulting your daughter instead. Try to convince me otherwise."

"My daughter refused to show me the respect I am owed as her father, and I am within my rights to discipline my property."

Your husband's eyes narrowed. "Your property? She is a human being, my lord."

"You know what I mean!" your father protested.

"I most certainly do not." His eyes narrowed as his grip tightened. "Besides, under Alorian law, my wife is under my dominion. You do understand that I could press charges if you had hit her, correct?"

A hand settled on your shoulder, and you turned to see Lord Qin standing there, expression grave. "Get behind me," he said softly, and you obeyed, peeking out from behind him.

"I must say, I am truly appalled by the behavior you've exhibited thus far, Lord Xia. It was horrible enough that you altered our contract in your favor, but drugging me and my wife is a level of despicable that I didn't dare think you capable of. Does your daughter mean so little to you that you would allow her to be violated by a man twice her age?"

"Who cares if she was raped?" your father burst out, trying to struggle free from Lord Zayne's grip. "We need the money! I'm letting you knock her up, so the least you could do is—"

His words were cut off as Lord Zayne's fist made contact with his face. A sickening crack sounded through the room, and you gasped as his knuckles came back painted crimson with blood, a new sense of dread hitting you. You froze with the intensity of it, heart racing uncomfortably.

"Get out of my castle," Lord Zayne hissed. "Immediately."

Seemingly asking to get punched, your father responded with, "I won't! You owe me that much, my lo—"

Lord Zayne swung again, sending Lord Xia to the floor this time, before seizing the fabric of his shirt and hauling him up. "You have no right to make demands of me. I will decimate you."

He raised his fist again, but Lord Qin grabbed your arm and started to pull you out of the room. "You don't want to see this, my lady. Trust me."

You let Lord Qin lead you out of the room and through the halls until you reached your room. He gently pushed your shoulders down until you took a seat on the bed, letting him wrap you in a blanket as you blinked, staring ahead.

"Are you alright?" he asked, tone gentle and voice quiet.

You opened your mouth to respond, but no sound came out.

"Did he hurt you?"

You shook your head, twisting your hands together in your lap.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to deal with that." Lord Qin took a seat next to you, placing a hand on your back. Somewhere in your mind, you recognized that you were shaking. "Don't worry. We won't let that happen again."

You don't know how long the two of you sat in silence until Lord Zayne appeared in the doorway, smears of blood on his shirt.

"My lady," he said softly, crossing the room so he could drop to his knees in front of you. He reached out to take your hands, but you shook your head once you saw the dried blood on his hands.

"I'm so, so sorry. I should not have lost control in front of you." Your husband's voice was barely above a whisper, eyes full of concern. "You should not have had to witness that."

"It's okay," you whispered back. In a strange way, it was somewhat….gratifying to watch your father recieve his comeuppance, now that some time had passed.

"If you would rather wait, I would completely understand, but I would like to have a talk with you, if possible." Lord Zayne settled for gingerly placing his hands on your knees. "What do you think?"

You felt so, so tired, but there was also a part of you that yearned to finally let all of the pent-up hurt inside of you out, and there was a look of desperation on your husband's face that practically begged you to agree.

"That's fine."

"I'll go, then," Lord Qin said, getting up and sending you a final glance as he left the two of you alone.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ✦ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧!)

@colonelkaboom @calebsfavoriteusedthong @dreamerofthewest @ellavelysworld @fand0mkatbrainrot @uvediedofdysentry

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥︎

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: hi i exist i promise

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: grief, purity culture-esque bullshit

Despite the fact that you now had a game plan, so to speak, on how to talk to Zayne about how you felt, your husband had decided to make himself elusive once more. The two of you had seen Lord Qin and Mr. Shen off together, but he'd had to go take care of something immediately after, and you hadn't seen him in the days since.

That left you with one task: Writing a letter to Caleb.

To be honest, you'd felt a little apprehensive about doing it, so you'd been procrastinating it. Zayne had sent you his letter-writing kit and everything, delivered by a smiling Yvonne, but it had been sitting on your desk entirely unused ever since. You had no idea what you'd even say—it had been so long since you'd spoken to him that you didn't know where to start.

But now, you stared down at an empty sheet of paper, pen in hand. Enough was enough.

You'd written "Dear Caleb" in nice, neat print at the top, but the next words eluded you. Thinking back, you recalled that Zayne had wanted you to explain the situation to him, but that felt like too much of a bombshell to drop at the beginning of a letter.

In the end, you decided to tell him how you felt, simply and plainly.

Dear Caleb,

Hello! It's been a while since my last letter, I know. I hope you haven't forgotten about me. I miss you. Please write me back soon. A lot has happened since I last saw you, so I wanted to tell you about it.

You then started to slowly put together a story, hoping that he wouldn't be too furious when he read it.

First off, I'm a married woman now. My husband's name is Zayne Li, and he's the lord of Snowcrest, in the Arctic. Don't worry—he's treating me well, so you shouldn't have anything to get mad about when it comes to him. You have to call me "lady" when you see me next, you know! I outrank you now!!

Father is the one who arranged the marriage, and I didn't know about it until just a little bit before it happened. You definitely know about it, right, though? I know Father wrote you a letter or two, so he had to have told you. Unfortunately, it turns out that Father messed with the marriage agreement between he and Lord Li and tried to wring money out of him. Doesn't that sound just like Father? To make things worse, he told me afterwards that Father drugged me and him on our wedding night!

Anyways, I heard Lord Li and one of his friends (his name's Lord Qin, and he's a former spy!) talking about it, so I went to confront Father about it. We got into a fight, and Father tried to hit me, but Lord Li came in just in the nick of time and saved me! And then he beat up Father…it was kind of satisfying, honestly.

I like Snowcrest alright, but it's a little cold. There's so much snow that my feet sink into it unless I'm wearing special shoes. The castle I live in is pretty big, and you'd think it would be cold, but it actually stays pretty warm most of the time. The people are pretty nice, too, but Lord Li's friends can be a little weird.

I'm sorry it took so long to write you again. I thought you didn't want to hear from me, and if that's true, I'm sorry to bother you again. If you want, please write again soon.

With all my love,

Your sister

Satisfied, you gave the letter a quick read-through and sealed it, blissfully unaware of the heart attack you were about to give to your half-brother.

You were starting to realize that your husband was a bit of an enigma.

He had been completely radio silent for days, and suddenly, he showed up at your door and asked if you wanted to make snowmen, of all things. Given that it didn't typically snow where you were from, and never enough to play in, you agreed, and now you were bundled up in what had to be five layers of clothing as your husband taught you to pack snow into large balls.

"…And then you place the head here," he explained, placing a third sphere on top of two others, making a snowman that was almost as tall as he was. (Maybe the two of you had gone a little bit overboard.) "See? Now, we have a snowman."

"Hmmm…." You looked at your creation, a little unimpressed. "It looks kind of like a pile of snow to me."

"That would be because we have yet to give it features," he replied, smiling. "If you can find some pebbles or bark for the face, I will find some sticks for the arms."

"Okay!"

After a few minutes of scavenging, you'd found both some pebbles and a piece of bark that was vaguely nose-shaped, and he came back with two big tree limbs for arms and a little stick for a mouth. The two of you carefully applied your findings until you had a beautiful, tall snowman standing before you, smiling widely in the weak sunshine.

"He looks like you," you observed.

"Does he, now?" There was an audible smile in Zayne's voice.

"Yeah. Tall and lonely." You nodded, the observation making perfect sense to you. Zayne seemed to be quite a lonely man, after all; there was a weight he carried that he couldn't share with anyone else, he thought.

"Lonely?" he asked, sounding surprised. "What do you mean, my lady?"

"He needs a friend." You bent down to start gathering snow for a second snowman, and after a moment, he joined you, helping to create a large ball for the base.

"I used to do this with my brother," he mused softly as he worked, as if he remembered a long-lost memory.

Your head snapped up to look at him. This was the first time you'd heard Zayne mention his brother—every other time had been from a member of the staff. "Huh?"

"My older brother, William," he elaborated, clearly under the impression that you didn't know. "He was the original heir of House Li, but he passed away when we were young."

"…I'm sorry for your loss," you replied, a little awkwardly.

Zayne shook his head. "I am certain he is at peace as he sits on the other side of the River of Eternity. There is nothing to be sorry for; his suffering has long ended."

It was probably very inappropriate to pry, but you couldn't help yourself. "What happened to him?"

He gave you a surprised look before answering, hands working against the snow. "He was severely injured during a skirmish at the border. I arrived from the capital just before he passed."

"Oh."

"He used to drag me outside after it snowed," he recounted, switching topics, "just to make snowmen when we were young. I was usually tired after one, but he'd always insist that we make at least one more, so the first wouldn't be sad." He cast a glance your way. "You are like him, in some regards."

"Do you miss him?" Your voice was quiet, barely audible over the wind or the crunch of snow under your feet.

A moment passed before he answered.

"I do," he said, just as softly. "There are often times where I wish he was still here, so that I could ask him his advice on certain matters. The ache has long dulled, though." A small smile appeared on his face. "I am sure that you miss your brother far more than I do, now."

For some time after that, the two of you continued to work in silence, with the sound of the wind and your movements your only company. Your new snowman was around your height, a decision Zayne seemed to make all on his own.

"Um, Zayne," you asked hesitantly as he placed an eye onto the new snowman's face. "Is there a reason why you don't want to be my husband?"

He stopped for a moment, panic visible on his face for a brief second.

"It is not that I don't want to be your husband," he said after a pause. "It is that I feel that it would be inappropriate for us to behave in a manner befitting a husband and wife, given your age."

"I'm not a child, though." You jammed the stick you were holding into the snowman's side, maybe a little too forcefully. Zayne winced at the audible crunch that sounded, before clearing his throat awkwardly.

"I also know that everything has been quite a shock for you. I see no reason to force you into a new dynamic when you're still adjusting to life here." He seemed to completely ignore your statement as he stuck the other eye into the surface of the snow.

"Are you sure? I'd be okay with it," you tried to explain. "If you don't feel those kind of…urges, I guess, you can just tell me. I'll understand."

Zayne let out a soft sigh, patting the snow down. "As I am sure Lord Qin has told you, I used to be a priest under the service of Astra. Although I have since left the priesthood, I never renounced my vows."

"…And?" you asked, not sure what he was getting at.

"One of my vows requires that I maintain a high standard of purity, lest my body and soul become corrupt," he explained. "I have sexual urges, of course. It is just that I must resist the pull to fulfill them unrighteously."

"If that's the case, why not just come out and say that?" You were a little frustrated, now. In your eyes, there was no reason to make up excuses instead of being honest.

"Because the other reasons are true, as well," he replied, calm but firm. "I have given it quite a bit of thought, my lady, I assure you. It is not a decision I have made on a whim to frustrate you."

You were lost for words for a moment, before gathering your thoughts. "Okay, but if you ever change your mind, you'll let me know, right?"

Zayne nodded, taking a step back to admire the snowmen as you stood between the two.

"I don't want you to be…" you pushed the limbs of the snowmen together so that the tips brushed, "lonely."

"I appreciate the sentiment. Truly." He gave you a smile before adding, "I would be willing to…rethink it, perhaps, later on. We can discuss it again in the future."

Those words gave you hope. Maybe you could gently persuade him to see your side—hopefully sooner, rather than later.

There was no reason he should deny himself when you were right there, ready for the taking, right?

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ✦ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧!)

@colonelkaboom @calebsfavoriteusedthong @dreamerofthewest @ellavelysworld @fand0mkatbrainrot @uvediedofdysentry

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥︎

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: hi!! this is a continuation of my fic, the collapse of one's self-control (read here). please note that this fic contains potentially sensitive topics, such as age gaps, religious themes, religious trauma, homophobia/internalized homophobia, misogyny, incest, abuse, and discussions/referenced to past dubiously consensual sex. read at your own risk. a TW will be placed at the beginning of each chapter. enjoy ㅤ♡

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: none

Wakefulness came to you in fits and starts, hazy sunlight filling your sight as you blinked and squinted. Your body felt sore, and there was a strange stickiness between your legs, but the bed you lay in was so comfortable that you felt content to ignore it and try to drift back into slumber. That would be fine, you mused. No one would miss you if you caught another hour or two of sleep.

It was only once you heard someone moving around across the room that you realized three things with a start.

One, you'd gotten married yesterday.

Two, it was almost noon, judging by the position of the sun shining through the window.

Three, and perhaps most concerning of all, there was someone in the room with you.

You shot upright, only to let out a pained groan as your muscles strained in protest. The room's other occupant froze from their position in front of the wardrobe, casting a glance over their shoulder before straightening and turning.

"Good morning, my lady." They gave a soft bow, stepping forward so you could see them more clearly. It was a woman, dark hair neatly tied back into a bun and dressed in a plain dress and apron. "My name is Yvonne, and I'm the head maid here at Snowcrest Castle. I'm sorry that I scared you."

Waking up with a maid at your beck and call wasn't something you were used to. Back at home, you'd be lucky if one of your mother's maids remembered you existed long enough to help you get dressed; you'd gotten so used to dressing yourself that the idea of being dressed by someone else felt foreign. You weren't really sure what to do in this situation.

"It's fine," you rasped back, raising a surprised hand to your throat at how rough it sounded.

"I heard you had a bit of a rough night last night!" Yvonne added, crossing the room to take a tray off a table and bring it to you. "Here, I had the cook make you some breakfast."

You took the tray wordlessly, examining the contents. Toast and eggs, with a steaming cup of tea—not too shabby. Picking up the provided fork, you started to eat silently as Yvonne busied herself with tidying up the room.

"Um…where's Lord Li?"

Yvonne turned to you again. "He's a little busy today, so he won't be able to see you until later, but he said you have free reign of the place. Dr. Greyson's going to come by later to check on you on his orders, but you can do whatever otherwise."

"…Lord Li requested a checkup for me? Why?"

Yvonne shrugged. "No clue. He tends to be a worrier, so that's probably it."

"Ah," you said softly.

After you finished your breakfast, Yvonne helped you into your clothes for the day: a dress from your trunk and a knitted shawl you'd never seen before. You were a little concerned that she'd gone through your trunk, but you shoved it down, not wanting to rock the boat. Once she saw the mess between your thighs, she silently offered you a wet cloth to clean up with, one that you took with quiet gratefulness.

Dr. Greyson came in shortly after, a young man with thick spectacles and a cheerful demeanor that you found yourself incredibly endeared by. He quickly examined you, then pronounced that you'd be fine with a little bit of rest before handing you a vial of green-colored liquid.

"What's this?" you asked, turning it over in your hands. The liquid seemed quite thick, with an almost syrupy texture.

"A contraceptive." Dr. Greyson started to fasten the closures on his medical bag. "Lord Li requested that I give it to you. It's got a nasty taste, so I recommend eating something sweet afterwards."

As he left, you stared at the vial, the liquid inside almost taunting you. Why did Lord Li want you to take a contraceptive? Did he not want children? He was certainly getting along in age, so it would probably be best if the two of you had a child sooner rather than later. Was he repulsed by whatever he saw last night? To be honest, you didn't remember very much from your night together—a cramping in your belly, searing heat, then blissful, wonderful release. Maybe it hadn't been pleasurable for him.

You uncorked the vial, lifted it to your lips, and swallowed.

Immediately after that, you gagged. The taste was vile.

"Oh, dear," Yvonne murmured. "Let me go get you some tea."

After you'd managed to completely rid your mouth of the taste of what had to be the world's most bitter-tasting medicine ever, House Li's butler came to call. His name was Noah, a kind-looking older gentleman with a warm demeanor and thick spectacles.

"I've known Lord Li since he was a boy," he explained to you as the two of you walked down the hallway, him leading you on a tour of the castle.

"Oh?"

"Yes, yes. I was brought on shortly after his birth, if I recall."

"What was he like?" you asked, curious. You were having a hard time imagining the tall, solemn Lord Li as anything but an adult.

Noah's voice was fond. "Well, he was a shy boy, for one thing. Tended to keep to himself. Ah, here, I'll show you."

He stopped in front of a painting, and you had to double back so you could stop and look.

The painting was an old family portrait, colors a bit faded with time. A woman who could only be the former Lady Li sat in the center, with the former Lord Li behind her and a boy on each side. The current Lord Li was on the left, but you couldn't recognize the other boy.

"Who's that?"

"Ah, that'd be Master William, the lord's older brother."

Brother? You weren't aware that Lord Li had a brother.

"He passed young," Noah continued, "so Lord Li took his place. I think he was more devastated at his brother's loss than when his parents passed."

"How tragic," you added after a moment of silence, unsure how to respond.

Thankfully, Noah moved on after that, choosing to tell you about how the previous Lady Li had needed to refurnish almost the entire castle after she moved in. Lady Althea Li had come from money, you learned, and you could tell by the way the castle had been filled. It had a tasteful, understated sort of elegance to it, with dark wooden furniture and thick, plush carpets. Beautiful tapestries covered the walls, and thick curtains were hung by almost every window.

The castle was a lot bigger than you'd anticipated. Given that it had been constructed as a fortress, according to Noah, you'd expected the areas where the members of House Li lived to be pretty small, and the rest of it dedicated to defense. That was not the case, however, and as Noah showed you through each room, you became more and more impressed. It had everything to offer that House Xia's manor did, and more.

You were particularly impressed by the library. Noah explained that Lord Li's great-grandfather built the current great hall, and his grandfather repurposed the old one into a library. It was a large room with high ceilings, but the roaring fire in the hearth kept the room surprisingly warm, and the floor was filled with plush couches and comfortable-looking chairs. You could see yourself spending a lot of time in here.

"And this is the recieving room," Noah explained as the two of you walked down an intricately-carved wooden staircase. "As the name implies, this is whe—"

"Mr. Noah!"

A young boy with shockingly white hair came bolting up the stairs, followed by some sort of small dog, a breed you'd never seen before.

"Shubai? What's wrong?"

"Sorry—" the boy—Shubai—panted, placing his hands on his knees as he bent over to catch his breath. "Lord Qin is here, and he's a little scary, so please—"

"Of course. I'll take care of it." Noah turned to you. "My lady, would you care to recieve our visitor with me? It'd be good for you to start meeting local lords."

You were a little hesitant, but nodded anyway and followed Noah down the stairs and to the center of the room.

The visitor turned out to be a shockingly tall man—even taller than Lord Li, somehow—with silvery hair and striking ruby-red eyes. As you looked at him, however, you felt like maybe blood would be a better comparison.

"Lord Qin," Noah greeted with a bow. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit today?"

"Zayne asked me to come," the man rumbled, voice almost sinfully deep, as he shrugged off his coat and handed it to Shubai. "I thought he'd bother to greet me when I came in for once, but not this time, it seems."

Crimson eyes landed on you, and his lips quirked up into an interested smile.

"And you must be the little lady." He turned to you, holding out his hand, and you slipped your hand into his. "Sylus Qin. I live nearby."

You gave him your name, then followed with a soft, "Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise." He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, but didn't let go of your hand. "Tell me: is that grumpy old icicle treating you well?"

"Huh?"

Lord Qin laughed, a rich, decadent sound. "Your new husband."

"Ah…" You thought for a moment. "He's been….nice, I guess? I haven't seen him at all today, though…"

"Abandoning you so soon? What a pity."

"It's alright!" Somehow, you found yourself rushing to defend a man you hardly knew. "I know he's busy."

"It really is a shame, though," he murmured, leaning closer. "Such a pretty girl like you shouldn't be left alone in such a cold, sad place. He really should be spoiling you with attention. What if you get bored and decide to seek out someone else?"

"I don't—"

"Sylus."

Another voice cut through the air, and you near jumped backwards.

Lord Li strolled down the stairs, face icy as he looked at Lord Qin.

"Zayne," Lord Qin greeted, an easy smile on his face. "Finally decided to grace me with your presence?"

"I would appreciate it," Lord Li hissed, storming over, "if you didn't touch my wife."

"Oh? I was just greeting her." Lord Qin seemed completely unphased by your husband's anger. "What's the harm in that? Isn't it impolite to ignore the wife of your betters?"

"Keep your hands to yourself." With that, your husband took hold of Lord Qin's wrist and wrenched his hand away from yours.

"So rough," Lord Qin sighed in response. "Well, you're here now. What did you need? It seemed like you were really in a bind."

Lord Li cast a glance toward you, and you gave him a smile, not sure what was going on. He looked away quickly, and you felt oddly hurt by his reluctance to even greet you properly.

"Not in front of the lady. Follow me." He turned and headed towards the stairs, and Lord Qin followed him, casting a glance over his shoulder and sending you a wink before focusing on the task at hand.

After a few quiet moments, Noah cleared his throat.

"Shall we continue with our tour, my lady?"

𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♡

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: slowly but surely, i post this fic on tumblr.....you can read the up-to-date fic on ao3!

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: religious trauma, descriptions/references to rape

"Zayne, next time you send me a message, could you consider wording it in a way that doesn't make it sound like someone's died?"

Sylus shut the door behind him with a soft click as Zayne crossed the study to sit at his desk.

"Imagine: poor old me, comfortable in bed, when I get a letter that says that you need me to discuss a matter of the greatest urgency. What's so important that you feel the need to give me a heart attack? Xavier was worried about me."

"Sylus," Zayne replied, tone desperate.

Sylus paused, mouth open around his next retort that would never come. While Zayne could certainly be…prickly at times with him, he rarely heard Zayne be upset to the point that it was evident in his voice. Something felt horribly wrong.

"I have an immense favor to ask of you."

Well, that was unusual. Zayne usually went out of his way to not owe anything to Sylus. He suddenly felt very, very uncomfortable.

"Sure. What do you need, some weapons smuggled in?" he joked, trying to cut the tension in the room. "You know Onychinus is at your beck and call whenever you need. Just say the word. I'm just as serious as defending this place as you are."

Zayne gave him a look then, one that made him look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Sylus, would you and Mr. Shen be willing to take in my wife?"

What the hell.

"What the hell?" Sylus asked, incredulous. "Why the hell would we do that? You do know how that would look, correct?"

"I am well aware that it's…unconventional."

"Unconventional? That's the last word I would think to use."

Zayne's voice was rough, frantic. "My lady is not safe here."

"This is the damn safest place in the Arctic, Zayne." Sylus was getting agitated, as well as increasingly worried. "She's best off here."

"You don't understand. I am a threat to her safety."

"You're the threat?" He'd heard some crazy things in his life, but Zayne, a man who was, generally, very averse to violence, being a threat to an innocent young woman seemed like a horrible joke at best, and an awful accusation at worst. "What the hell happened in the 18 hours since your wedding?"

"…I raped her, Sylus."

A heartbeat.

Sylus shot to his feet, leaning across the desk and hauling Zayne up by the collar of his shirt.

"You have exactly one minute until I beat you within an inch of your life," he hissed, fingers coiling tightly into the fabric. In response, Zayne gave Sylus the most devastated look he'd ever seen on the other man's face, and a shot of pain stabbed into Sylus' heart.

"I believe that mine and her drinks last night were drugged." There was a look in Zayne's eyes that Sylus had seen before—but not for decades. He'd never wanted to see that look ever again.

He released the fabric in his hands, letting Zayne droop slightly, Zayne's hands scrambling to support himself on the desk.

"What do you mean, drugged." Fury and a strange sense of dread mixed in his mind.

"Some sort of aphrodisiac. I think she'd had maybe twice the dose I had." Zayne leaned his weight forward, letting the desk hold his weight as he sagged. "I just—she was so clearly struggling, and I—I couldn't control myself. No, I failed to control myself. The responsibility is mine, and mine alone."

Sylus looked at the man in front of him. Zayne seemed so small in that moment, hunched over the desk as if the weight of every sin he'd ever committed was bearing down on him. Something about this situation was horribly wrong.

"What were the symptoms?" he found himself asking, mentally cataloging every aphrodisiac he knew of in his brain. Maybe his experience with the kingdom's underworld could finally be useful; he'd seen almost every drug there was to take, after all.

"Cramping in my lower stomach. A fever. And, ah…intense arousal. More intense than I've ever felt."

Immediately, Sylus began to rack his mind. Most aphrodisiacs make one aroused, of course, and some could cause a fever, but the cramping was…odd. Nothing was coming to mind. "Nothing else?"

"No." Zayne shook his head, letting it droop between his shoulders. "I must have had a strong dose. It was like there was another entity in my head, trying to convince me to throw my conscience to the wind."

There was no doubt in Sylus' mind that Zayne had overdosed, given the mental effects.

"Zayne. Do you want me to look into it?"

The other man looked up at him, eyes desolate. "You'd do that?"

Something struck Sylus, then, a sense of utter desperation. Zayne knew Sylus, he had for decades, and yet Zayne had any doubt that Sylus wouldn't move mountains for him? Part the sea for him? Die for him?

Sylus had loved Zayne for the last two decades, after all.

"Of course I would," Sylus said, voice softening. "You know that."

There was a soft, barely-there glimmer of hope in Zayne's eyes, just for a brief moment.

"You are too kind to me." Zayne's voice was nothing but a whisper.

Sylus wanted to reach across the table and cradle the face of the man he loved in his hands, but he settled for grasping his shoulders. "Listen to me. It sounds like you were given something bad, if it could mess with your mind like that. It might be that you were so under the influence that you were incapable of controlling yourself."

"No," Zayne said immediately, jerking himself away. "I should have controlled myself. I should have never let my filthy hands touch her."

"Zayne—"

"I've defiled her. I've corrupted her." Zayne's hands went to his face, burying himself in them. "My sin should never have been allowed to spread to her. I've made a horrible, horrible mistake."

In his mind, Sylus was catapulted back years and years, to a memory he never wanted to remember.

Zayne, on his knees in a chapel, hands clasped together so hard his skin turned white, praying to a god who wouldn't listen.

"Please," Zayne had begged, drowing in the silver robes of a servant of Astra. "I beg of you—take this desire away and purify this corrupted body. I have sinned against the natural order you have established. Make me whole again, Holy One. I beg of you!"

His heart broke, all over again.

"Zayne," he urged, reaching out again. "Don't talk about yourself like that."

His hands failed to make contact, as Zayne stepped away again.

"I've wronged her, Sylus. There is no atonement I can ever attain for my crimes."

"Tell me something, then." Sylus let his hands drop to his side, clenching them into fists. "If you had never been drugged, would you have forced yourself onto her?"

"Never," Zayne rasped, looking up, eyes wild and pained. "I didn't even want to touch her. I knew my corruption would spread to her. I knew it!"

"Stop—"

"I'm a monster."

If someone had opened Sylus' chest and ripped his heart out, it would have hurt less.

Wordlessly, Sylus stepped forward, reaching out to gather Zayne into an embrace. Zayne's body wrenched away violently, but he held fast, using all his strength to hold Zayne.

"I will look into it," Sylus said softly. "I will help you."

"Will you take her in?" Zayne's voice was barely audible.

"No, I won't." Sylus could feel Zayne's shoulders droop, but he continued. "You need to make things right with her. No running, no hiding."

"How can I?"

"You'll find a way, Zayne. I know it." His thumb carressed Zayne's shoulder in an attempt at comfort. "If you can't, then I will, I swear. But you need to try."

He felt Zayne nod.

"My lord?"

Zayne looked up from his desk to find Noah staring in the doorway.

"Did he leave?"

"Yes." Noah stepped inside, gently pulling the door closed behind him. "I sent some of the leftover wedding cake with him. I thought Mr. Shen would like it."

"Good." Green eyes focused back on the papers on his desk.

"I would like to discuss a matter pertaining to our lady."

Zayne looked up once again, silently.

"Yvonne informed me earlier that my lady's wardrobe is….well, lacking, to put it lightly."

Put it lightly, he did. Yvonne had been utterly shocked that you'd come with only one trunk of belongings. That was nothing compared to what she'd found inside, though—dresses that had been patched and repatched, stockings with holes, and chemises that were clearly ill-fitting. It certainly didn't look like the trunk of a well-off lady.

"She thinks it would be best to take the lady to a tailor. My lady owns nothing that reflects her status as a lord's wife, save for the clothing she wore yesterday."

He nodded, gaze returning to the text in front of him. "I will look into it. Thank you."

The door closed as Noah left, the light in the room becoming dimmer.

Zayne's eyes skimmed the document in his hands. For some reason, he felt compelled to look over the marriage contract that he had signed all those months ago. Lord Xia had brought it with him, having signed it after Zayne did. It reeked of entrapment, but Zayne let it go, not wanting to argue any more with such an insufferable man.

Suddenly, he stumbled upon something that made his eyes widen.

With every child that Lady Li bears, Lord Li will contribute an additional 5,000 gold per year to Lord Xia and family.

That had not been there when Zayne had initially looked over the contract.

What the hell?

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ✦ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♡

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: going from posting chapter 13 on ao3 to chapter 4 on tumblr is pretty funny!!!

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: mentions of rape and suicide

Lord Qin came to Castle Li a few days later, taking up residence in a little corner room at the far end of the hallway that you and Zayne's bedrooms were located in. You didn't see him often, save for when the three of you dined together or when you'd cross paths in the hallway. He moved almost like a ghost, always disappearing into dark rooms or closed doorways, which you supposed was fitting for a former spy.

If you were being honest, you were…strangely drawn to him. He was much more approachable than your husband, who still seemed to be avoiding you to an extent, and generally much more amenable to conversation. There was somewhat of a mysterious aura about him, too, but one that made you feel like you could learn all his secrets if you approached him just right.

You really wanted to learn his secrets.

Thing was, the man was seemingly always off to go do something, but you had no idea what he was actually doing. What kind of business required him to go talk to the kitchen staff? Hadn't Lord Zayne said he was helping your father? There was definitely something going on, but it was being hidden from you. Deliberately.

You had tried to ask your husband about it the night after Lord Qin moved in, but he rebuffed you, saying that it wasn't anything you'd find interesting enough to be involved in. (The joke was on him—not being forthcoming about it made it interesting on principle.)

Fate was smiling on you one evening, though, because you managed to catch Lord Qin in the drawing room after dinner.

You didn't even mean to track him down; he was just there, sipping on a glass of wine and leafing through a book. His profile was illuminated by the glow from the fire, and you stood there for a moment, admiring the picture before you. Astra, was he handsome. (Maybe not more than your husband, but they were certainly comparable in looks, you thought.)

After a minute or so, he looked up and saw you standing in the doorway like a creep, a smile forming on his face.

"Oh, the little lady has decided to visit me?" He closed his book, setting it aside and holding a beckoning hand out to you. "Come join me."

You moved as if on instinct, settling down next to him on the divan (a respectable distance away, of course.)

"Someone's been curious about me," he mused, resting his head on his fist.

You paled, averting your gaze in embarassment. "You knew?"

"It was obvious, sweetie." There was laughter in his voice. "Tell me. What are you curious about? I'm sure Zayne gave you the bare minimum in terms of information, as he's prone to do."

His gaze made you feel a little bit like you were being pinned down by a predator, but you continued anyways. "He told me you were a spy. Does that count?"

"Just that? What an oversimplication of my accomplishments." He sighed, sounding long-suffering. "Yes, I used to be a spy for His Majesty. His best spy, in fact."

It sounded like he was going to tell you more, so you leaned forward a little and scooted closer. "His best spy? Tell me more."

"I started when I was…what, 22? 23? Not much older than you are now," he began, with a bit of a wistful smile. "Ah, I'm just a year older than our dear Zayne, in case you weren't aware."

You nodded, leaning in closer.

"I have a gift for making people trust me, you see. A very good quality for a spy. So, I went abroad to Philos."

At the mention of Philos, you stiffened a little. Philos was your country's enemy; details of new atrocities committed by the ruling elite ran almost daily in every newspaper across your home country of Alore.

"I started out in the military there. Just poking around, sending what info I could back here. I helped prevent a few battles here and there," he explained. "But my big break came when I'd been there for almost a decade."

You were hooked, now, scooting closer again.

"I got offered a promotion. A big one, mind you, one that would put me in league with some of the most important people in the Philosian government."

"And you took it?" you asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" He took a sip of wine before offering the glass to you. "Some wine, my lady?"

Shyly, you took the glass, raising it to your lips as he continued.

"I knew everyone. I even met their king once or twice." He smiled again, one full of warmth. "And, of course, I met my husband."

His husband?

"You're married, Lord Qin?" you blurted out, unable to help yourself.

"I am," he replied, chuckling. "My husband is Xavier Shen, the owner of the Uluru Inn in town. He is…well, it's hard to put it into words, but he's one of the most wonderful men in the world. I adore him."

The fact that Lord Qin was married was, somehow, now more interesting to you than him being a former spy in an enemy country. "Tell me about him."

"We met at a ball," he sighed, almost longingly. "I saw him across the ballroom and just knew, deep in my soul, that we were meant to be."

"How romantic!" You were squealing internally, but you couldn't let him see that—that was unladylike.

"I always know when I'm meant to be with someone." He looked at you, and you could see a hint of something in his gaze, but he started to talk again before you could dwell on it. "He was from a very well-off family, and his family didn't approve, of course, but we continued anyways. The thing is, I was discovered."

You let out a gasp, hand flying to your mouth.

"I ended up faking my own death to get away, but Xavier begged me to take me with him. He was always unhappy in Philos, and he couldn't stand being there without me. So, I faked his death, too. A lover's suicide."

"How'd you end up here, then?" you asked, curious, as you took another drink of wine.

"His Majesty let me choose where I wanted to settle, and I knew Zayne was here, so I took the manor in town and moved in." He thought for a second. "Zayne and I….we have history. I've known him since before you were born."

You'd struck gold with this conversation, somehow. "Really? He doesn't seem to like you very much."

"Zayne is a…complicated man, so to speak. I think he'd prefer it if he never saw me again, but I know that he'd destroy himself if I wasn't around, so unfortunately for him, he's not getting rid of me anytime soon." There was a strange look of longing in his eyes, but you couldn't understand why. "He will always be my….my dearest friend."

"Oh." There was, clearly, something going on between the two of them, but it felt wrong to press. You continued nursing your wine glass.

"He used to be a priest, you know," Lord Qin offered, almost in consolation.

"Oh?" Priests didn't usually leave the priesthood, to your knowledge, so you wanted to know more.

Thankfully, he provided. "He entered at age 15. That's the whole reason we know each other—we were in the capital at the same time." He let out another sigh. "This stays between us, but I wish he'd never become a priest."

You opened your mouth to ask why, but Lord Qin continued before you could speak.

"Anyways. He left when his older brother, William, died defending the border and House Li needed an heir. They're lucky the Church let him leave."

"…I see." You went to take another sip of wine, but it was empty, you realized with a start.

"Need more?" he asked, teasing, before taking the bottle and pouring you more. "Here."

"Thank you."

"Tell me, little lady. How do you like it here?" He looked at you intently, a soft smile on his face.

"Well," you sighed, suddenly feeling a little warm, "the castle is nice. It's a little cold here, though."

"And your husband?"

You took another swig of your drink. "I don't think he likes me."

"How so?"

"He keeps avoiding me!" you protested, speech a little slurred. "I think he's really handsome, and I want him to like me, but he's not helping!!"

"How cute," Sylus mused.

"I just want to…to…." You racked your brain for the most polite way to possibly bring harm to the most infuriating man you knew. "I just wanna scratch him."

"Scratch him?"

"Yeah! With my nails." Thinking this was maybe the best idea you'd ever come up with, you nodded before taking another sip.

"Like a kitten?" Lord Qin laughed, a mirthful smile on his face. "Actually, that's fitting for you. I should call you Lady Kitten."

"That's mean. I'm not a kitten," you pouted.

"But you're cute like one," he countered, reaching to tuck some of your hair behind your hair. "My pretty little Lady Kitten."

"What is the meaning of this?"

You both looked over to find Zayne standing in the doorway, clearly upset about something.

"Good evening, Zayne. Me and Lady Kitten were getting to know each other a little better." Lord Qin, as always, seemed unphased by Zayne's sudden appearance.

"You couldn't get to know her without alcohol being involved?" Frowning, Zayne crossed the room, moving to help you stand. "Come on, my lady, let's get you to your room."

You slurred a goodnight to Lord Qin before following Zayne towards your rooms. At one point, you tripped over your own feet, and he scooped you up into his arms and carried you the rest of the way, despite your protests.

You did scratch him, just for your own self-satisfaction.

Sylus entered Zayne's study the next evening, leaving the door a crack open behind him as he crossed the room.

Sitting behind the desk, Zayne looked up, closing the book he'd been leafing through. Four thin, reddened lines crossed one cheek, and Sylus grinned.

"She really scratched you? What a fiesty kitten."

"Please don't refer to my wife like that," Zayne responded, tone flat. "But, yes. She did scratch me."

"I can do what I want."

Zayne let out a sigh, then, clearly tired of Sylus' antics. "Fine. What brings you here?"

"Well, I have something you'll be very interested in, my dear Lord." With that, he pulled a vial out of his pocket and set it on the desk.

"What is this?"

"The drug they used on you and the lady."

Zayne froze, staring at the vial like he wished he could will it out of existance.

"It's called Rose Kiss. Very rare, very hard to get."

"And?" Zayne urged, balling his hands into fists.

"The standard dose is a no more than five drops for an entire barrel of liquid. The servant that drugged you poured the entire vial into the barrel of cider that was used for the two of you that night."

The vial was the size of Zayne's hand when he reached out to pick it up, turning it over in his hands.

"You and the lady were given ten—no, probably fifteen times the normal dose," Sylus continued, voice serious. "Lady Kitten might have even gotten close to twenty times the dosage. The fact that you were able to hold yourself back at all is a feat of extreme strength, Zayne."

"That doesn't excuse my actions," Zayne hissed back, clearly angry at someone—perhaps himself, perhaps someone else.

"I'm not saying it does. I'm saying it provides an explanation." Sylus shook his head, knowing that it was useless to continue. "It also seems like your little hunch on the culprit was correct."

"Lord Xia?"

Sylus nodded. "The servant was bribed by Lord Xia himself. I have no idea where the man got the money from, but that's an entirely different story."

Zayne set the vial down in favor of burying his face in his hands. "What in Astra's name have I gotten myself into?"

"You gave her the contraceptives, correct?"

"Greyson did," Zayne replied. "I just…I cannot understand how someone can be so greedy that they find no issue with drugging their own daughter and handing her over to be violated by a man twice her age."

Sylus nodded. "You need to talk to him. I can help, if you need me. I've been known to be….very persuasive with my methods."

"No," Zayne said firmly, shaking his head. "No, it needs to be me. He'll just accuse you of slander. I will take care of it."

"And the lady? What about her?"

Zayne let out another sigh. "She must stay here. I am not comfortable allowing them around her, not if they're willing to let her be raped in order to get richer. That is unacceptable. The question is, what to do with her?"

The two continued to discuss, unaware of the fact that you stood outside the door, hands plastered over your mouth as you stared at the floor in utter shock.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ✦ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧!)

@colonelkaboom @calebsfavoriteusedthong @dreamerofthewest @ellavelysworld @fand0mkatbrainrot @uvediedofdysentry

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥︎

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔: 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: there's like a 75% chance that my wifi will crap out on itself the second i hit "post" but we'll see LMAO

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: depictions of abuse and neglect, mentions of rape and misogyny

The door shut behind Lord Qin with an audible click, and Lord Zayne looked at you, worry evident in his eyes as his thumbs rubbed against the sides of your knees.

"…Is he always like that?" he asked softly after a pause, like he was trying to not spook a caged animal.

You had to think for a moment in order to get the words out. "Angry? Yes. Loud? Also yes. Physical, well….yes, but not towards me."

"Towards who, then? Your mother?"

"Caleb," you admitted. "He…he usually takes the beatings for me. He's a lot stronger than I am, so…"

Lord Zayne frowned, feeling anger tighten in his chest again. "Has Lord Xia ever hurt you directly? When your brother wasn't around, maybe?"

"Not really?" You shrugged, a gesture that he found far too casual. "Father usually didn't really care about me unless I was bothering him directly, up until recently. He got mad at Caleb a lot more than he did at me, but it's easier to get mad at a child you remember exists than a child you don't."

In your mind, you could clearly see a scene from your childhood, one of your father slamming a poker down on Caleb's back while you watched in horror from the doorway, your shadow stretching across the carpet.

"So he neglected you?"

You nodded. "Mother, too…they only remembered me once I was old enough to get married, really." Pulling the blanket tighter, you wrapped your arms around yourself as a sense of unease swept over you.

"And how does it make you feel?" Lord Zayne's eyes were focused on you, almost so intently that it made you a little uncomfortable.

"I…" You searched for the words, but struggled to find them. In truth, you'd never really talked about it to anyone but Caleb. No one ever really believed you except for him, so what was the point?

His hands squeezed your knees. "Take your time. There's no rush."

It took you a few minutes before you figured out what to say. "I….I guess you could say I feel lost. I really relied on Caleb, you know, but suddenly he was gone and I was expected to be by myself, and then I became an adult, and everyone started talking to me about marriage and children and it was really confusing. No one really bothered to ask what I thought, and no one cared about me before, so…"

"Let me ask you something." Fury was steadily building in your husband's soul, but he pushed it away. "When your parents decided that you would marry me, did you have any say in the matter?"

You looked at him, pursing your lips together, and he already knew the answer.

"You can tell me," he urged. "I want to know. Please. I won't be angry, so you don't need to hide anything."

"No. I didn't." Your voice was barely above a whisper, a lump forming in your throat. "I only found out two weeks before I left home. I thought they were getting my measurements for a new dress for a ball, or something—not my wedding."

Suddenly, Zayne felt like returning to Lord Xia's room and beating the man back into unconciousness.

His anger must have shown on his face, because your face morphed into one of fear. "I'm sorry, my lord, I didn't mean to upset—"

"It is the situation that upsets me," he tried to soothe. "Not you. Never you."

"No, no, I shouldn't—I just—it's all so scary—"

"I understand." He tried to rub your knee in the hopes that you'd find it calming, but you were getting visibly more and more upset.

"I miss Caleb," you finally admitted, voice breaking as tears began to drip down your face. "I don't know why he's not writing me back and I just—I want a hug, and I want someone to tell me that everything will be okay…I just don't know what to do…"

He eased himself upright, then, and pulled you into him, pressing your face into his chest as you sobbed. One hand cradled the back of your head as the other rubbed your back, and your fingers curled into the fabric of his bloodstained shirt.

"It's okay," he said softly, rocking back and forth. "You're safe here. Everything will be fine…"

As he held you, the full weight of reality crashed down on him. He had married a girl who hadn't consented to the union. That, in of itself, was unforgivable, but to make it worse, he'd forced her into his bed and violated her repeatedly. He was a horrible, horrible man, wasn't he? How could he ever hope to redeem himself?

Knowing what he knew now, he couldn't divorce you; the idea of you back under your father's roof sickened him the more he thought about it. You would have to stay here—there was no question about that. If nothing else, he could guarantee shelter from your family, unless Sir Xia decided to visit.

The issue was that he still found himself drawn to you, a sickening, gut-wrenching longing, a lust he couldn't fulfill, ever. There was something about you that captivated him; your body, of course, called to him, but something about you, the person, was charming to him. It made no sense; he barely knew you, how could he be drawn to someone so unfamiliar to him? This couldn't happen again; he could not allow it.

But how could he stop himself? Even now, he could feel a certain heat building up inside of him as he held you close. The weak, pathetic part of him wanted to kiss your tears away and soothe you with sweet nothings so he could carry you to his bed and have his way with you again. You haunted his dreams every night; the scent of your skin, the sweet sound of your voice as it cried out, the feel of your body against his palms and around his cock. He needed to supress those baser, filthy urges and focused on what mattered most; your safety.

That would require a certain restructuring of how he viewed you. There could be no more longing, no more craving; just gentle, chaste affection, as you deserved. You were barely an adult; there was no reason to force his sin, his corruption onto you. He should create a world for you where you could live in peace and comfort, never knowing fear or sadness again.

As he held you, a thought came to mind. You clearly lacked a trustworthy male figure in your life now; perhaps, then, he could become like a father to you. A guardian, someone to hold your hand and guide you as you walked through life. Maybe, this way, he could let go of his turmoil and become someone you could trust and depend on. He could eliminate any sinful thoughts and let you be someone to cherish.

Surely, this would cure him; a guardian could not long for their ward, not when they were too busy taking care of them. Right?

You, of course, were completely oblivious to his thoughts, leaning on him for support as you let the tears flow. There was a part of you that didn't want him to see you like this; you didn't want him to think less of you. For some reason, you wanted to impress him; he was an older man, after all, and you didn't want him to think of you like a child.

"I'm sorry," you said softly once your tears had slowed. "That wasn't really ladylike of me, was it?"

"There's no need to apologize. Sometimes, we just need to be held and comforted; there's no shame in that." His voice was sincere, and you felt a little reassured as he continued to rub your back. "And, in the future, I would like it very much if you called me by my name. We live together now, after all."

"Okay," you replied. "Zayne. Like that?"

The sound of your voice saying his name sent a wave of arousal through him, but he choked it down. Now was not the time for such thoughts. "Yes, just like that. Very good."

You preened at the praise internally, before cringing a little at your reaction.

"You feel better now, correct? A little more calm?"

In response, you nodded, letting go of him. He sat down on your bed, and you moved to follow him, sitting close enough that your knees touched.

"Now that I know what you've faced, we can figure out what to do going forward," he began calmly, taking your hands in his. (You'd forgotten just how attractive his hands were, rough and calloused and dotted with little scars.) "First off, I will find a way to prevent your parents from contacting you. That would be fine with you, wouldn't it?"

That did sound very nice. You gave him an enthusiastic nod.

"Good. I can also have a letter sent to Sir Xia informing him of the situation—I have a feeling that something suspicious is going on regarding him. Would you like to write it?"

Another nod, even more energetic this time.

"I'd also like to notify His Majesty that your father altered our contract without my—"

"What?" you blurted out, incredulous. You didn't put it past your father to do that to you, but to your husband? One of the most powerful men in the kingdom? He was going to get any shred of a good reputation destroyed at this rate.

Zayne let out a soft sigh. "I discovered it shortly after our wedding. The contract has a clause in it that I will provide your family with a certain amount of money per year as an income of sorts. However, your father tried to sneak in an additional clause that stipulated that the amount of money would increase with every child that you bore." He paused a moment before continuing, "and that, I believe, is why he drugged us on our wedding night. He wanted you to concieve my child."

(The idea of him impregnating you was, frankly, not unwelcome, not that he'd ever voice that aloud.)

He looked at you like he expected you to have no clue that you'd been drugged, only for his face to morph into one of surprise when you didn't look shocked.

"Um…I already kind of knew that," you admitted. "I overheard some of you and Lord Qin's conversation in your study. I'm sorry."

"Ah." He looked uncomfortable for a moment before dropping his gaze to your hands.

"The door was open, so I could hear everything pretty clearly," you added when he didn't elaborate. "I'm not sure if—"

"I owe you perhaps the largest of apologies, my lady."

The serious tone of his voice caught you off guard. "Huh?"

"I violated you." He made eye contact with you again. "I am aware that what I've done to you is unforgivable, but I ask that you bear with me and my sins for as long as our marriage lasts. Please know that I sincerely regret what I've done to you, from the deepest parts of my soul."

"I, um….isn't it your right to do that?"

It was now his turn to be caught off guard. "What?"

"You're my husband," you tried to explain. "Because of that, you're entitled to my body, right? As part of the agreement? Besides, I think I asked you to, anyways…I kind of can't remember too much from that night."

It seemed to you like the two of you had completely different perceptions of what happened. All you could remember was discomfort, then intense, unending pleasure. If he'd helped you, and it felt good, then why would it be a big deal? Husbands and wives were supposed to have sex, after all.

"I—no, my lady, that's not how it works," he insisted, voice firm. "I do not have any right to be intimate with you without your consent. You were severely intoxicated that night and could not have fully consented, so it was immoral of me to do what I did."

You furrowed your brows, getting frustrated. Why was he being so persistent? "But, I asked you to do it, and you helped me. I don't see why you helping me was bad."

Zayne decided that this line of inquiry was not going to go anywhere, so he dropped it. "Whatever the case, my lady, I think it would be best for us to refrain from being intimate in the future. I have no desire to hurt you again."

That stung. You frowned, feeling sad again. "Do you not want to? If I did something wrong, then please let me know so I can do it right next time."

"…It would be best if we didn't."

In that moment, you noticed that he was seemingly avoiding saying if he wanted to or not. You filed this away for later—maybe you could exploit that. (If you were being honest, you wanted to try to have sex again. It did feel really, really good…)

"If I am being honest, I do have some reservations about the current state of our relationship," he continued. "Our ages are quite far apart, for one thing. I feel as if our relationship would be better suited to me acting as your guardian, as opposed to your husband."

"But I don't really want a guardian." You were confused on why exactly he suddenly didn't want to act like a husband anymore, but you were more frustrated than anything. "I want a husband. I'm not a child."

"And I understand that," he said gently. "It would just be more comfortable for me, as an older man, to put myself in that role."

Honestly, you were struggling to grasp why, but you capitulated anyways. "…Okay."

"Thank you for understanding." He let go of your hands in favor of patting your leg. "Now. I am going to have the kitchens bring us something sweet. That sounds good, right?"

You nodded. Some dessert did sound good right about now. You could try to figure out why your husband was being weird later.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ✦ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧!)

@colonelkaboom @calebsfavoriteusedthong @dreamerofthewest @ellavelysworld @fand0mkatbrainrot @uvediedofdysentry

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥︎

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞: 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: feeling a little bit like i got hit by a truck rn but oh well. chapter 3!!!

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: brief references to rape

You were starting to think that your new husband really found you repulsive.

That had to be it. There was no way he was avoiding you for any other reason, right? You had to have said or done something that made him dislike you. That being said, as much as you racked your brain, you couldn't think of anything that could cause that sort of reaction. Maybe he was just some sort of weird hermit.

It didn't really help that you couldn't remember too much of your wedding night. Whatever had come over you had made it so that you could remember little bits here and there, but not nearly the kind of comprehensive picture that you wanted. It had felt good, though. You could remember that much.

Biting at your thumbnail, you paced across your new room, back and forth in an endless loop.

The day after your wedding, your belongings had been moved into the room right next door to Lord Li's bedchambers. It was a nice enough room, and Noah had promised that it would be re-furnished as you wanted it as soon as you said the room, but it was a little….big for your tastes. Your room back in the Xia estate had been maybe a third of the size of your new room, and you felt a little lost about how on earth you were supposed to fill up such a big room. In its defense, it was surprisingly comfortable, with a nice, large fireplace that was kept burning all hours of the day and night and a bed with a mattress that made you feel like you were sleeping on a cloud.

The weird thing about it, though, was how it connected to Lord Li's bedroom via a small, private hallway. Noah had explained that this was for security purposes, so that if the lady of the house was attacked, the lord could easily step in, but it still struck you as a little strange. The bathing chambers for the two were shared, too, but luckily, you hadn't run into Lord Li while he was bathing…yet. It was bound to happen eventually. You weren't really sure what you would do in such a situation. Run away? That sounded like a good bet.

So far, living here hadn't been too bad. Noah hadn't been lying when he'd told you that you had free reign; you even wandered down to the kitchens and were greeted with warm smiles and a plate of cookies to sample. The library kept you well occupied, and you'd found out that someone had bought an entire shelf's worth of romance novels that you'd decided to work your way through. Your first pick was a tragic romance between the God of the Sea and his bride, which was pretty good so far, but the Sea God was a little too dramatic for your taste.

You couldn't concentrate on the book today, though, not when you were worried about how your husband thought of you.

"It's just weird," you muttered to yourself, turning to walk forward when a knock sounded at the door.

Curious, you crossed the room, pulling the door open and preparing to greet whoever it was when the words were ripped right of your mouth.

Lord Li was standing at the door, flanked closely by Yvonne.

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, an awkward tension in the air. (Your mischeivous brain decided that it was a great time to remind you of just how attractive he was, but you ignored that.)

"Good morning," Lord Li said softly, a bit of discomfort visible on his face. "May I have a moment of your time?"

"Sure." Not having a clue of what he could possibly want, you pulled the door open further, and he took some hesitant steps inside.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment about your clothing," he said, clearly sounding like this was the last conversation he wanted to have. Dread flashed through you. Did he not like what you wore? Was that the problem?"

"Um, okay." Your voice shook a little bit with nerves, but you hoped he wouldn't notice.

He gave you a small, slightly forced smile as an act of reassurance, but you didn't recognize it as such. "It's been brought to my attention that your parents did not provide you with a wardobe befitting a lady of your status. I was hoping I could assess the situation."

That…was not what you expected, but alright. Whatever he wanted. It's not like you could really tell the lord of the castle no, anyways.

"…Of course." You let him to your wardrobe, pulling the door open and letting him peer inside.

To your surprise, Lord Li didn't just look; no, he actively started to rifle through your belongings, pulling things out so he could examine them in better lighting.

"Unacceptable," he said to himself at one point, just loud enough that you could barely hear.

"What was that?" you found yourself asking, before realizing that you probably just messed up and pressing a hand over your mouth.

That coaxed a fleeting, barely-there smile out of him, and a small spark of hope flickered in your chest. "Don't worry, I wasn't speaking ill of you. It is just…the situation is worse than I feared."

"Oh." You weren't really sure how to respond to that. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize. Your parents should have ensured that you were properly clothed before you came. None of the fault is yours."

"….Ah."

He turned to you, an expectant look on his face. "My lady, would you happen to be interested in going into town with me today?"

Not a half an hour later, you were seated in Lord Li's carriage as it rattled and bounced its way down the hillside towards Snowcrest proper. The air in the carriage was a little awkward, if not strained; Lord Li had chosen to look out the window for most of the ride instead of you. (Ouch.)

"Um," you tried, desperate to feel less like crawling out of your own skin with how awkward you felt. "I haven't….offended you, have I, my lord?"

He looked at you and quickly shook his head. "No. Not at all."

"Oh."

After a moment, he decided to continue. "We are married, my lady. Perhaps you should refer to me by name."

"….Lord Zayne?" It felt a little strange to call a man so much older than you by his name like that, but you tried anyways. Maybe you addressing him too formally was the problem.

Little did you know, Zayne was suffering. Hearing you call his name with your beautiful voice was a little too much for him, as silly as it felt.

The truth was that Zayne couldn't stop replaying your wedding night over and over in his head. It sickened him that his mind wouldn't let him forget such a horrific act he'd committed, but the scene was so erotic that it gripped him with intense force. Your voice, your body, the way you squeezed around him as you came…he couldn't forget it. That was the reason why he had been avoiding me.

Feeling a little warm, he nodded in approval.

"You can call me by my name, too!" you added, smiling. Oh, you looked happier now. He'd done something right.

Of course, he immediately ruined it by saying, "Thank you, but I would like to keep referring to you with the utmost respect."

Your face fell. Shit.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, but he felt like throwing himself out of the carriage, so he decided to change the subject.

"Lord Qin will be staying with us for a few days," he began, watching as your face morphed into one of curiosity. "He will be helping me with some….business that I need to take care of before your parents leave to return home."

"I see," you replied, nodding sagely while still looking curious. "I, um, I'm sorry if this is overstepping, but what does Lord Qin…do?"

You were so, so cute.

Zayne didn't know where that thought came from, if he was being honest.

"Lord Qin used to be one of His Majesty's spies." Zayne brushed some dust off of his coat. "He's retired now, but His Majesty gave him a manor here in Snowcrest, so he's decided to settle here."

"Wow!" You looked excited, now, probably planning to interrogate Sylus next time you saw him. Zayne shot the man a silent apology in his head. "But….why before my parents leave?"

Now he was put on the spot. Oh, dear. "He has experience with helping people like Lord Xia repay debts and keep their businesses afloat. I was hoping that he could help your father."

Luckily, before he could risk offending you any further, the carriage stopped.

The shop Lord Zayne chose to take you to was a small yet fashionable tailor's shop, located on the corner of a cozy little street filled with shops and cafes. You hadn't been to the capital very often, but it felt like a street you could find in the capital, save for the snow covering every flat surface outside.

The tailor was thrilled to see both of you, ushering you both inside and providing Zayne with a cup of tea before whisking you away to take your measurements. Next came the catalogue, the tailor showing you a book full of dress designs that you could pick from, before showing you what had to have been every swath of fabric they had available. It was a little overwhelming, but your husband must have noticed, because he took hold of one of the swaths and held it to your cheek.

"Have an evening gown made with this one," he said, surprising both you and the tailor. The swath he'd chosen was a deep blue, perfectly in line with the colors of House Li.

Of course, dresses couldn't be made in a day, so the tailor next brought out a collection of ready-made dresses for you to try on. She explained that once you picked out the ones you wanted, she would alter them and have them ready to return home with you by the end of the day. You nodded, and she quickly ushered you into a little side room to change.

The first dress was a soft pink, made of a thick, warm cotton with little flowers embroidered on the cuffs. You couldn't decide if you liked it or not on you, so you stepped out, looking for a second opinion.

Zayne looked up to find you swivelling your head, clearly looking for the tailor.

"Do you need help?" he asked, setting his cup down.

"Ah, no, um…I was just wondering if this dress looked good on me."

He looked you up and down, internally critiqing what he saw. The dress was a little too big, but it looked warm enough for his taste, and he found you to be an absolute vision in pink.

"I like it," he said, a small smile on his face. "You look very nice."

You visibly lit up, and before his very eyes, you did a little twirl, clearly happy with the compliment. He filed it away in his brain, hoping that he could get you to smile like that for him again.

The next dress was a deep green, with three-quarter sleeves and a hem that brushed against your shins as you walked. Zayne found that he liked this one as well; perhaps you could magically pull off every color.

The third dress surprised you with how daring it was. A rich red color, the dress featured an off-the-shoulder neckline that gave yourself a generous view of your chest. You were a little nervous to walk out in it, but something about it made you feel strangely confident.

As you walked up, Zayne noticed two things.

First off, your breasts. They were, to put it plainly, right there for him to see. Unfortunately for him, his brain conjured forth an image of you in his bed, tits bouncing as you moaned desperately, crying out for release.

He had to discreetly adjust his coat before you saw anything emerge between his legs.

Second of all, the dress was almost a dead ringer for the color of Sylus' eyes. Zayne didn't know how to feel about that.

"Hmm," he mused, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "It's a little…revealing, isn't it?"

You gave him a sad look, so he rushed to clarify, "If you like it, then you should get it. Don't listen to the ramblings of this old man."

"Okay!" you replied cheerfully, looking happier.

Once your little fashion show was done, the tailor gave your new dresses to her assistant to be altered before you began to discuss the rest of your wardobe. Zayne was surpringly insistent that he buy the most expensive, high-quality items that the tailor had to offer, despite your objections. Before you knew it, the trunk you'd brought with you was half-full with undergarments, stockings, and even a pair of silk house slippers.

Next was the matter of your cloak.

"My lady needs a new cloak," Lord Zayne said, lifting up the corner of your current cloak. It was made for the south's sunny climate, and you could certainly tell that during the ride into the city. "I will provide the fur for one, if you will make it."

The tailor gave him a slightly uncomfortable look. "My lord, I have several types of fur on offer. Perhaps I could show you?"

"I will provide the fur," your husband stated again, firmer this time.

"My lord—"

Zayne pulled out a pouch from his pocket and shook it, the clinking sound of coins echoing from within.

"You will provide the fur. I understand," the tailor said, nodding, clearly excited about the contents of that pouch.

By the end of the day, you were traveling home with a trunk full of new clothes. You were pleased with what you'd already bought, and excited to see how your custom dresses turned out.

However, that red dress would haunt Zayne's dreams that night.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ✦ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧!)

@colonelkaboom @calebsfavoriteusedthong @dreamerofthewest @ellavelysworld @fand0mkatbrainrot @uvediedofdysentry

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥︎

[azure-nevermore]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬

𝐚𝐨𝟑 ✦ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐜 (18+ content ahead!!!) || arranged marriage AU w/ eventual polyamory and smut

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are the newest lady of House Li, married to a man twice your age who seems reluctant to even look at you after a wedding night fueled by desire and aphrodisiacs. As new players enter the stage, you learn more about your husband's past and find love…in more places than one.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: long suffering sigh....chapter seven!!! finally!!!

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: none (for once!)

You really should have tried to figure it out earlier.

It just made no sense. Why didn't your husband want to sleep with you? It was a natural urge to have, after all, and you were right there. Your husband didn't seem like the kind of guy to sleep around, but maybe he was satisfying himself that way? There had to be some other explanation. (Maybe he just wasn't as horny as you were; that could also be the case.)

And what was with that whole "guardian" thing? You didn't get married so you could essentially gain a second father; you got married so you could be a pawn for your father and continue House Li's line. It would be understandable if he had a low sex drive, or if he wasn't really interested in sex, but it felt like he was trying to come up with excuses to not have sex with you. To be honest, it was…really, really frustrating.

And, if you were really being honest with yourself, you were starting to feel something for him. Call it a crush, but you'd always been drawn to older men (the concept of them, anyways), and you found him to be very attractive. He seemed nice enough, too, and you could see yourself living with him peacefully if not for the weird dynamic he was trying to push between you two.

As silly as it was to admit, you'd always dreamed of being married. You knew it was a foregone conclusion that you'd eventually get stuck with some guy you barely knew, and probably a very unpleasant guy at that, but there was still a part of you that continued to dream. It could be like a fairy tale's happy ending—you meet your future husband, get utterly swept off your feet, and fall head over heels in love with him. Of course, he'd return your affection, and the two of you would grow old together. There was something romantic about the whole thing.

It would be your luck to get married to a man who was just your type and then have him seemingly be uninterested in everything that came with being a husband, wouldn't it?

You sat in the library, trying to read whatever book you'd pulled off the self (something about a Netherlord?) in an attempt to not start pulling your hair out. Two days had passed since you and Zayne's conversation, and you'd worked yourself into a frenzy trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. Last night, you'd barely slept, you were that worked up.

Throwing the book across the room was sounding incredibly appealing at that moment, but it wasn't your book, so that probably wasn't a very good idea. It seemed like a pretty old book—what if your husband made you pay for a replacement? The thought sent a shudder through you; it would probably take a lifetime to even find another copy, let alone earn enough gold to buy one. You would treat the book as gently as you could.

Flipping the page, your attention turned to the next scene. The Netherlord and his companion slipped into a pool together, and drew closer, gazing into each other's eyes—

This was a romance.

You had specifically picked this book because it didn't seem like a romance.

You threw the book.

It landed with a satisfying thunk on the floor, and you instantly felt a little better. At the very least, it didn't seem to be damaged, so throwing it was probably fine, right? Honestly, you kind of didn't really care anymore. Maybe the book shouldn't have pissed you off if it didn't want to be thrown.

"Whoa."

An unfamiliar voice sounded from the other side of the room, and you turned to see a man standing in the doorway.

"I didn't know people threw books in libraries. Good to know," he said with a smile. "Did the book anger you, miss?" His voice had a soft, lilting accent, a very pleasant sound to the ear. You'd definitely heard that accent before, but you couldn't put your finger on where.

You jumped out of your chair with a start, rushing over to the book so you could pick it. "I, um, it's not what it looks like—"

"It's fine. I don't mind." He started to walk closer to you, gait almost lazy.

"I usually don't throw books," you spluttered, desperately trying to salvage something positive out of what was otherwise a horrible first impression.

"Oh? I thought it was an Alorian tradition. Was I mistaken?"

You stared at him, and he stared back, vibrant blue eyes making contact with yours.

After a few seconds, he smiled again. "Don't worry. I was just teasing you, Lady Li." He gave you a little bow, hand placed over his heart.

Your brows furrowed. "How did you know who I was?"

"Well," he straighted to look at you again, "there are only so many young ladies in Castle Li, and since I didn't recognize you, I thought it would be a fair guess."

You slowly nodded, a little weirded out.

"I happen to be looking for my husband. Do you know where he is?"

"I don't know who your husband is," you said slowly, not sure why he was asking you, of all people.

"Oh!" He laughed, a pleasant sound. "My name is Xavier Shen, and I'm married to Lord Qin. I've come to drag him home because I miss him and I'm sick of sleeping alone."

Suddenly, everything made sense—the familiarity with the castle, the mention of "Alorian tradition", the accent. You remembered that Lord Qin had told you about his husband not too long ago.

You smiled. "I don't know where he is, no, but it's nice to meet you, Mr. Shen."

"And you, as well." He cast a glance to the book in your hands. "Now, I'm curious, though. What did the book do to offend you?"

"Oh, nothing." You tried to hide the book behind you, as if that could somehow erase the embarassment you felt. "I just…wasn't really in the mood for it, that's all."

"Can I see it?" he asked softly, holding out his hand. You handed the book over to him, and he examined it, turning it over and brushing a hand over the leather.

"This is a pretty good book. Why'd it make you so angry?"

Biting your lip mindlessly, you hestitated for a moment. "It had romance in it. I don't really want to read romance right now."

"Oh? I thought ladies like you enjoyed romance." He looked at you calmly, but you got the feeling he was trying to see if he could pry into your mind. Maybe it was just the fact that he was handsome, but you felt like you could trust him, somehow.

"…I'm a little angry with Lord Li right now," you admitted quietly, clasping your hands together.

Xavier nodded sagely. "Would you like to talk about it? Talking about things that frustrate me usually make me feel better."

"It just makes me mad!" Your sudden outburst made his eyes widen. "I just—what does he mean, 'guardian'? I think he's going senile in his old age! I want a husband, not a father, for Astra's sake! Is that so hard?"

"Oh, my," he said quietly.

"I just…I just want him to like me," you muttered, feeling an angry tear well up and start to slip down your cheek.

Before you could react, he reached out and wiped the tear from your face. "Don't cry, my lady. You'll melt the glaciers."

"…What?" You had no clue what on earth he could mean by that.

"Children here in Snowcrest are told that if they cry too much, they'll melt the glaciers further north in the mountains. No one wants to melt a glacier and cause a disaster, right? My mother would tell me that, and it always worked on me."

"Ah, okay, I see….Wait." Your eyes narrowed at him as you thought.

"What is it, my lady?" Xavier gave you an innocent-looking smile, but there was a visible sheen of mirth in his eyes.

"You're Philosian."

"And?"

"Why would your mother in Philos tell you a saying from Snowcrest? Is she from here?"

"Because I made it up," he answered smoothly.

You looked at him before you started to laugh, holding your stomach. Somehow, this was the most hilarious thing you'd ever heard. (Wow, the lack of sleep was really doing a number on you.)

"But you feel better now, don't you?"

"Yeah," you forced out, still laughing a little bit.

"It worked, then." He gave you a smile that you could only describe as dazzling, and you found yourself staring at him, a little awestruck. "But, anyways. Would you like some advice?"

"That would be nice, if you wouldn't mind."

Xavier thought for a moment. "Well, Lord Li is….a little stubborn, I guess you could say. He's a bit like my husband in that regard, but with Sylus, you can usually convince him that it's actually his idea and he'll go with it. I don't think that would work for Lord Li…hmm."

He continued to think silently as you watched, and as the minutes ticked by, you became more and more concerned. "Um, Mr. Shen?"

Flinching, he came startling back into awareness. "Oh, sorry, I got a little too lost in thought. Anyways, I don't think throwing yourself at the wall repeatedly, so to speak, would work either," he continued, "so maybe try slowly feeding him your position? Tell him a little bit at a time and get him accustomed to each idea."

"Hmmm…" The more you thought about it, the more it seemed reasonable enough. "Okay, I can try that. Thank you!"

"I'm happy to help," he replied, reaching over to pat you on the head.

"Mr. Shen?"

You both turned to find Zayne standing in the doorway, a surprised expression on his face. "What brings you here today?"

"Ah, Lord Li," Xavier replied, still smiling. "I've come to drag my husband back to Qin Manor. I hope he hasn't been causing too much trouble?"

"He's been very helpful." Zayne crossed the room, and the two shook hands. "I appreciate you lending him to me for the time being. How is the inn?"

"A little slow, but that's normal for this time of year. I just got in some new bedding…"

As they talked, you observed them quietly. The two men had a familiar, easygoing demeanor to them; you could tell they'd known each other for a while now. However, Zayne's body language looked a little…tense, perhaps. It was like he was a little uncomfortable with Xavier, but he was desperately trying not to show it.

"I won't bore you any more, then. It was good to see you." Xavier gave Zayne a polite nod and looked over at you. "Nice to meet you, my lady. I look forward to seeing you again."

With that, he walked away, leaving you and your husband alone together.

"Interesting man, isn't he?" you said after a moment of silence.

"Yes." Zayne nodded. "Interesting, indeed."

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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧!)

@colonelkaboom @calebsfavoriteusedthong @dreamerofthewest @ellavelysworld @fand0mkatbrainrot @uvediedofdysentry

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥︎