hi mystarry… could u spare some kaiser thoughts on this january morning for a friend in need..,?
ofc ofc ofc i can my love <333
musing abt kaiser getting into an argument with you at his apartment...... one that he started bc the buildup of feelings between you two was too much for him, your kindness and love and care slowly chipping away at his glass armor, making him feel like a cornered animal. so of course he lashes out yknow? a dog baring its teeth at the hand thats been feeding it bc you stepped a little too close for comfort this time. thinking about how he'd rip into you, each crack echoing like a bone snapping. until you've had enough and leave...... and don't come back.
it would make him agitated (which he uses to hide his anxiety and worry i think, whether he realizes or not). kaiser expects you to come back, you always do. except when this time, the days move on and your things start to collect dust and you're still not here. when you knock on his door, he'll never admit how fast he jumped (recognizing it by the rhythm and weight and sound) to open it. thinking abt when you brush past him, not even looking him in the eye and silently go around from room to room grabbing your things instead. how his heart slowly sinks and sinks and sinks as you continue to ignore him and his mocking, bravado-filled words.
something where you make it down the snow-filled street with your things, lashes holding frozen bits of ice, when you hear the sound of feet crunching behind you. kaiser gripping the sleeve of your coat, huffing from running. how he feels the fissures in his chest spread and deepen as you still refuse to look at him. he'd become so used to being looked at, whether he wanted the attention or not, he forgot how much he hated being ignored. even more so by you, your gaze shining through him like the sun on windowpanes. how he falls to his knees, words melting on his tongue like snowflakes bc he has nothing else to say...... doesn't know how to say it without vines and thorns twisting the letters. but you can hear him clearly anyway, when you finally let your head drop down, his eyes shining with honesty, bearing all his words plainly. and asking (begging, pleading) you to stay.
