#starter;nico

[illustratedxillusions]

@whimsicallywitches

whom: Nico & Quinn

where: Quinn's place

Nico barely remembered parking. By the time he made it up Quinn’s walkway, there was blood drying in the corner of his mouth, more on the collar of his shirt where he’d tried and failed to wipe his face clean. One sleeve was torn. His knuckles were raw in a way that suggested he hadn’t just stood there and taken it. His breathing still came uneven, barely out of the flight or fight mode. For a long moment, he just stood there.

The last time he’d been here, Quinn had made it clear what he needed. No secrets. No halfway versions of himself. Nico had nodded like he understood. Like it was simple. Like all he had to do was open his mouth and tell the truth. He’d tried.

His hand lifted and knocked once against the door. Then again, harder this time because his fingers were starting to go numb and if Quinn didn’t answer soon he wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t going to sit down right there in front of his door and stay there. When the door finally opened, Nico didn’t step inside. He just stood there, looking like something that had been dropped down a flight of stairs and still wasn’t sure how it landed. “I tried,” he said, his voice cracking. “I told him.”

[illustratedxillusions]

@whimsicallywitches

Who: Nico & Quinn

Where: Pride Picnic

Nico had almost stayed home. For a while, that had become his solution to most things. Go to work. Come home late. Sleep on the couch. Leave before Quinn was fully awake if he could manage it. Keep out of his way. It wasn't much of a life, but if Quinn needed distance after... everything... then Nico figured the least he could do was make giving it to him easy. It still hurt. More than he'd ever admit out loud.

He'd replayed that birthday text enough times that he could probably recite it from memory. Can't wait. Love you. Then the little thumbs-up. That stupid little thumbs-up. It wasn't even rude. That almost made it worse. It was polite. The kind of response you gave when someone had said something you didn't quite know what to do with. Nico had spent the next several days convincing himself he'd crossed a line Quinn hadn't been ready for. Maybe he'd said it too casually. Maybe he'd said it at the wrong time. Maybe Quinn wasn't there yet. Whatever the reason, Nico couldn't take it back.

The Pride picnic had seemed like a better use of his afternoon than staring at the ceiling, and if he happened to spend a few hours helping where he was needed, even better. Keeping his hands busy had become something of a survival skill lately. He'd just finished grabbing himself a lemonade when he turned around and nearly walked straight into Quinn. His heart dropped so fast it almost hurt. For a second, he considered pretending he hadn't seen him. "...Hey." A nervous laugh escaped him. "I didn't know you were coming." There it was again. That awful feeling that they were somehow strangers despite all their history. "I can... go, if you want. I don't want to make your day awkward."

[illustratedxillusions]

@downxbyxaxcove

Whom: Nico & Thaddeus

Where: VooDoo Lanes

Nico had been staring at the message for almost twenty minutes. i love you. Thumbs up. That stupid little thumbs up sat on his screen like the digital equivalent of being patted on the shoulder before getting shoved off a cliff. “Happy birthday to me,” he muttered bitterly. Quinn's apartment felt too small tonight. Too quiet in the wrong way. Every sound felt magnified. The hum of the fridge. The pipes in the walls. Chappell Roan crooning “knee deep in the passenger seat…” from his speaker for what had to be the seventh time in a row now because apparently Nico enjoyed emotional self-harm with a synth beat. He dragged both hands over his face before looking back at the phone again like maybe the message would magically change if he suffered hard enough at it.

Nothing. No follow up. No sorry. No I was busy. No I love you too. Just the thumbs up. His chest tightened all over again. Because the worst part? It wasn’t even just Quinn. It was everything attached to Quinn. The apartment. The stability. The life Nico had been balancing himself inside of with shaky hands and crossed fingers ever since his parents tossed him aside like a problem they didn’t want to explain at the country club anymore. If Quinn decided this was too much? If Quinn wanted out? Nico had nowhere to go. The thought hit hard enough that he stood up and grabbed his jacket before he could spiral himself straight into a panic attack on the kitchen floor. Sitting around waiting for Quinn to come home and gently explain he didn’t love him back sounded like the worst possible way to spend his birthday.

So instead he ended up at Voodoo Lanes. Nico shoved his hands into his pockets as he wandered further inside, trying to look more casual than emotionally catastrophic. His eyes found Thaddeus after a moment and he lifted a hand slightly in greeting as he approached. “Please tell me you’re hiring,” Nico said before he could talk himself out of it, voice lighter than he actually felt. “Because if I have to listen to one more sad lesbian anthem alone in my apartment tonight, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna evaporate into glitter and despair.”