(Sorry not sorry, I always screamed it as a kid, we weren't allowed to do it much, so the few times we were I screamed it, in defiance. I now realize I was annoying the treat-givers. Oops 😬)
Less than two minutes later Twyla emerges into the night, ready to follow Alexis. White light, from a nearly full moon, bathes the ground, illuminating their path. The further they walk, the number of houses decreases while the amount of grass and shadow between each one grows.
Alexis is grateful to be expending all of her nervous energy walking, unsure what else to do with the chaos building inside her. When they reach the edge of their meadow she begins to question dragging Twyla out with her. What will she even say?
As if she can sense what Alexis is thinking, Twyla takes her hand and threads their fingers together. She gives Alexis a reassuring smile, a reminder that things will be okay as long as they’re with each other. Which, of course, is part of the problem. Because soon they’ll be separated and Alexis won’t have her best friend to ease her trepidation.
They wordlessly arrange themselves near the thick trunk of a solitary tree while a warm breeze rustles through the tall grass and wildflowers, accompanying chirping crickets in a quiet, disjointed symphony. Twyla’s hand easily finds Alexis’s again, as if they’re two magnets meant to always be connected.
A jumble of words crowd on the tip of her tongue, fighting to be the first ones spoken. They weave between her teeth, blending with uncertainty, self-doubt, and stubbornness among other emotions.
“I’m leaving soon,” is what ultimately comes out, flat and sterile.
Twyla shifts the tiniest bit closer and Alexis can feel the warmth radiating against her skin. It doesn’t make any of this easier.
“Of course you are,” Twyla responds resolutely, stroking her thumb across the flesh of Alexis’s palm. “Just like you were always supposed to. Everyone knows you’re meant for great things, Lex.”
Yeah, everyone except Alexis. She accepts that she’s had an exceptional upbringing, that she has access to anything she could ever want. And she does want some of those things, it’s always nice to have options. But what good is any of it, really?
“You know I don’t want to go,” Alexis reminds her.
“But you should. I would if I could afford to. It’ll be so great for you.” Twyla’s words are strained and practiced beneath the reassuring, bubbly tone she tries to wrap them in.
Irritation builds under Alexis’s skin. This is them – Alexis and Twyla, Twy and Lex – who have always been honest with one another. Why would Twyla hide from her now?
“Great for me?” Alexis scoffs. “For what? So I can have a fancy piece of paper? Mom and Dad can have something to tell their friends about at their stupid dinners?”
Hot tears prick at the corners of her eyes, making her feel worse.
“No, Alexis. That’s not what I—”
“The worst part,” Alexis continues, voice already cracking, “is that it won’t mean anything. College isn’t the same for women as it is for men. It’ll be four years thrown away so I can become a- a housewife.” Alexis wrinkles her nose at the word. “Assuming my parents don’t find someone to marry me off to before I graduate.”
She sighs, drawing her knees up to her chest so she can rest her chin on them. “It’s not that I don’t respect women who do want that. But Twyla, it’s not for me.”
