Closed RP with @unrely [Stede&Ely]
It was a cloud of swirling uneasiness- a smog that blocked out any clarity. The feelings associated with Stede coming back were not as navigable as Ely had thought they would be. They'd been so angry and full of rage when Stede had left but the only person they felt like they could have reached out to had become consumed in his own soul souring bitterness. Ed wasn't Elys parent anymore; Blackbeard was a mirror. He was unreachable and cold. All Ely could do was follow in his footsteps... and it helped... at least for a bit.
The force behind a blade. The contact, pressure and resistance of slicing through flesh. The yelling and the screams, so overwhelming that they drowned out the shouts in Elys own head. It was exhilarating and somewhere for all that rage to go. Ely had hoped the rage would fade with the life of whoever Blackbeard had chosen as victims that day... but it didn't. The respite was brief and the grief continued to curdle. Still, they kept going- constantly chasing that high of distraction only to tumble back to square one.
For a long time, the only permanent way to expel that rage was the idea of taking it out on Stede personally. Making him feel some pain barely equivocal to what he'd forced on Ely. Making him understand and regret before taking away the ability to try and manipulate and leave them again... but then Stede had died.
At least, that's what the crew heard being reported. Ely was struck with a different kind of grief then. Of course, they were still angry but it made them realise that they could never really have sort revenge in the way that they wanted to. However brief, Stede had given them something Ely had never had before. He'd been somewhere that had at least felt safe and trustworthy and like a home. With Stede dead, there was no chance of ever feeling that again.
And then he'd come back. Not dead. Very much here. And what was Ely supposed to feel? That chance for a family that they'd thought was gone forever had come crawling back but that didn't negate the fact that Stede had willingly left in the first place, subjecting Ely to picking up the pieces. They stood silently, white knuckles gripping their blood rusted sword but their arms were weak. There was no way they could swing it- the emotional blow having done for more damage than anything else they'd experienced.
"I-I could kill you." No they couldn't. They weren't even sure that they wanted to. They were stuck halfway between wanting to run away and wanting to run to him. Still, there teeth were gritted tight and the least they could do was send a well practiced glare in Stedes direction.
"You shouldn't have come back."
