@stellher wrote: “ when will it be enough? ”
gaze flickers away from the sight of his dead world, a quick glance towards the skaigada before his eyes simply drop to stare blankly at his reflection in the window. he looks as marred as the earth. scars littler his hands and face, the mark of his royalty contorted, burned by black rain. in azgeda, they said to be proud of ones scars. it shows you survived. it shows you lived. but what do you do when you didn’t want to? how can he celebrate a reminder of his failure?
“ i can’t tell you that, ” honest, words come out gruffly. maybe it should be. he should be more grateful to be alive. everyone else here has people to miss as well, things they have lost. but it feels as if it’s still enough to them, to have some little family up here. they are each other’s people now and he supposes they are his but...it still doesn’t feel right. he doesn’t belong here. jaw clenches as his gaze shifts around a moment, arms crossing over his chest he had not meant for this burden to be on anyone else’s shoulders but his. perhaps, he is not as good at hiding his struggle from the rest as he thought. at least not from her.
“ it wasn’t supposed to be me. and everyone knows that. ” a small shrug as he finally lets his eyes settle on raven. he is only here because clarke isn’t. he was the one that was supposed to die. fate really has such a funny way of twisting things, doesn’t it? he was ready to go. he thought it was over the moment everything went dark in that arena. but instead, he woke up here, with a life he did not ask for. with people that are not his. he has to wonder when they look at him, do they just see the person he isn’t? “ too many lives have been traded for mine. ”