your favourite thing to do is raise your boyfriend’s blood pressure. you love stressing him out and seeing the way he fights so hard to not get frustrated because he’s aware just how much you hate any form of anger.
you scroll on your phone and see the perfect joke to pull on him, a grin tugging at the corner of your lips as you wait for him to come home from a quick visit to soap’s.
you hear the front door close, a quick yell of your name escaping him as he makes his way to the kitchen. you quickly jump off the bed, rushing downstairs to find him, an eager smile tugging at your lips.
he takes one brief glance at you and pauses, a furrow in his eyebrows as he tries to register your random excitement, “can’t have missed me that much lovie, was only gone about an hour or two.”
“no not that baby! y’know how you were talking about getting your oil changed for your car?” you ramble and he nods slowly, carefully, almost as though he’s expecting this conversation to go south instantly.
“i saw online an easy way to do it so i did it for you!” you bounce on your feet and he freezes instantly. it takes everything you have to remain composure and not burst out laughing at the bewildered look that crosses his features.
he’s pacing the kitchen the moment the words fill the air, a hand tugging through his hair as he rushes out, “like you went to a garage, hm? yeah?”
“garage? no silly, i did it all myself,” you walk over to him and he inhales sharply. you can see the sheer confusion and slight panic overtaking him. you changed the car’s oil? you who still asks him how much your tank can fill despite having had the same car for 4 years.
“how… how did you do that?” his eyes are calculating, staring intensely at you like he’s praying for some miracle, some reassurance that you haven’t completely fucked up his car.
“so the guy was saying you can just like put some vegetable—” you’re not even able to finish the sentence when he splutters on air, interrupting your words with a practiced step towards you.
“lovie, i swear to fuck if you say you put vegetable oil in my car,” he trails off, eyes practically burning holes into you as he sighs, a loaded sound that shows he’s trying to keep his calm.
you try again to not laugh, a faux expression of concern plastered as you respond, “yeah well the man said it was like an easy life hack and we have so much vegetable oil at home because of that shopping deal so i thought it was perfect! is something wrong?” you blink up at him innocently.
he’s pacing again, “oh lovie, for fuck’s sake, how many times do i have to tell you these people online are con artists? you never listen to them without checking with me first.”
he holds his hand out and you read the gesture easily; he’s asking for his car keys. but you’re not done yet, you don’t want him to check and realise you’re messing with him so instead of handing the keys over, you force a frown.
“i was only trying to help i’m sorry… are you mad? i just thought well, oil is oil,” you manage to murmur without giggling like a mad woman and he sighs again, moving to stand right in front of you.
he tilts your head up slowly, his hand massaging your jaw as he tried so hard to keep his calm. you can tell it’s damn near impossible for him but he’s doing it for you and you almost feel bad.
“i just— fuck lovie, i wish you’d check these things with me first, yeah? ‘m not mad. i just didn’t need that extra hassle to fix this shit,” he pauses, pulling you into his arms and tucking your head under his chin, “not mad but jesus. vegetable oil baby? you’re smarter than that, i’ve taught you better than that.”
he’s clearly concerned about his car but he’s put that aside to comfort you for a so called mistake you made. it makes you smile into his chest and he tenses the moment he feels the expression against him.
“just because ‘m not fucking mad, doesn’t mean it’s funny,” he releases his hold on you and suddenly everything feels empty.
you know you’re the one pranking him but the lost feeling when he lets you go makes your lower lip tremble. you’re just so ridiculously sensitive and the idea of him being pissed at you, even if you carefully planned it has you sad and regretting everything.
he presses his eyes shut at your emotional state, “okay didn’t mean that, shite. don’t cry, fuck’s sake, come here,” he pulls you into his big arms again, this time wrapping you up entirely.
and despite his worries for his precious car, you in his arms is far more precious so he kisses your forehead, “baby, ‘s okay, don’t cry, lovie. i’ll fix it, yeah?”
“was joking,” you finally sniffle, “just pranking… ‘m not that stupid.”
he inhales deeply, a measure to grasp a hold of the situation before he replies, “gonna give me a bloody heart attack one day, raisin’ my blood pressure and shit. fucking menace huh? y’not stupid.”
he strokes your hair, heaving a sigh of relief as his eyes flicker down to you. he’s this bag mass of muscles and anger when it comes to anyone else but you? just fucking look at him, comforting you when you’re the one who had the clever idea to mess with him in the first place. he just hates seeing you anything but over the moon. whipped. so utterly and shamelessly whipped.