step!brother gator snoops through your room when you're out and looks for used panties, digging in your laundry basket before he finds what he wants.
step!brother gator tries to be sneaky with it and doesn't go for more than one pair a week, he can't forever pretend that they just weren't even in the washing machine when he folded the laundry.
step!brother gator checks your location every chance he gets, it might come off as a simple protective gesture you should be thankful for but when you're somewhere you shouldn't be he immediately knows.
step!brother gator likes to pretend he's patrolling and checking the area when he's actually just driving where you are, embarassing you in a bar when you just want to drink with your friends.
step!brother gator always annoys you, getting bolder and bolder with each move to the point where you never can guess what he's going go do. he started with simply snapping your bra straps whenever they were visibile..
step!brother gator basically slid his hand up your skirt and rubbed your clit the last time he wanted to annoy you, explained that he thought you had something on your thigh and left your room by placing a wet, messy kiss on your cheek.
step!brother gator tries to stop you from bringing other men home, somehow always knowing when you have another hookup inside and eyeing him with that glare when the guy tries to slip inside your room.
step!brother gator always complains about the noise the morning after, but he secretly presses his ear against the wall and strokes himself, sometimes recording the audio for later.
step!brother gator acts like he's just a annoying but caring brother around your parents, always crossing lines that they brush off as friendly. but you sometimes feel like roy knows something you don't..
i should have said 'stepbrother!gator' but whatever..
CW: drinking, Gator n reader are intoxicated, unprotected smut, spitting, fem receiving oral sex, some degradation
You were a little too eager on the drive there, rambling like you’d never been out before. Which in all honesty, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been to a bar. That was very exciting.
It wasn’t at all anything glorious, very much looking just like a spot that Gator would hang out at. It smelt like smoke, the floors sticky and the volume a little too loud from a group of men that were laughing when you entered.
“What do you want?” Gator asked you, his hand resting on the small of your back as he guided you to the bar. You pressed your lips together, thinking for a moment.
“Do a green tea shot with me?” You suggested, lightly squinting your eyes at the way his features crinkled up in distaste.
“It’s gross.”
“Please,” you pouted at him softly, “and then just a vodka redbull. I’ll control myself, I promise.” You nodded your head, accepting his invitation to sit up on the stool. He groaned as he sat down, shifting to pull his wallet free before gaining the bartenders attention.
Gator had changed into a pair of jeans, a black shirt that wasn’t quite so fitted though still wore the same hat on his head. Though this time it was flipped in the opposite direction, loose strands of his hair sticking to his forehead.
“You know, you mix too much of this and you’re gonna be sicker than a dog.” He pointed out as he held his shot glass up, passing you the other one. You grinned as you clanked the cups together.
“Happens to the best of us.” You responded before you downed the shot with him, savoring the taste on your tongue. It didn’t burn or have that strong taste that you were used to, a nice change for once.
You had another shot before you were good and sipped on your vodka redbull, Gator humming along to the old country song that was playing on the radio as you felt your bones and joints becoming looser as you kicked your legs back and forth.
“Why haven’t you tried to marry anyone?” You turned towards him fully, crossing one leg over your knee so you could fully analyze him.
“What?” He blinked in surprise, a baffled look on his expression.
“No one good for you or what?” You tried again, trying to make sense of it. Had his ex really ruined him, or was he just doomed? Maybe it was hard finding a woman in this small town.
“I don’t know, not fucking ready I guess.” He scoffed as he shrugged his shoulders, drinking from his beer again. You nodded your head, feeling like that was an acceptable answer.
But you still felt like there was more. Maybe Roy was just as picky, determined to find him someone that would continue their family name.
“When did your parents get married?” You asked softer, looking at the way his shoulders relaxed for a moment.
“They were young.” He pressed his lips as he looked at you, linking his feet through the bars of the stool so he could tug you closer.
Gator was so close now that you could smell the cologne he’d put on, could see the fresh dusting on freckles that he’d gained on his nose and cheeks.
“So were mine,” you took another drink, “you know, they still want kids. I don’t think my mom can have any more.” That was dangerous to admit, but Gator said you could trust him. And you wanted to.
“Sounds like she’s broken.” He observed you closely, trying to make sense of why you were telling him that. You both knew what it could mean.
“Is that really all a woman’s worth to you?” Trying to imagine Gator with children was difficult. It didn’t seem right.
“I wouldn’t mind a few kids,” Gator grinned at the surprise on your face, “but no, I like women for a different reason.”
“And I’m the pervert.” You finished you drink, wiping the liquid from your mouth as you set it down on the bar,
“Glad you can finally admit to it.” Your leg was brushing against his, soft and slow as you narrowed your eyes playfully to observe him. He was oddly easy to talk to at the moment. You kept waiting for him to switch, to grow angry and bitter again.
“Buy me another drink?” You suggested instead, grinning at the way he looked at you baffled. But you were at a bar, and that’s what you were supposed to do.
“You’re quite the alcoholic,” he mumbled as he shook his head, “another shot and uh, vodka whatever.”
“Redbull.” You clarified quickly.
“What she said. I’ll take another beer.” He hadn’t even finished his first one, but must’ve saw it as a challenge as he brought it up to his lips to chug it down.
“Thank you, you’re the best.” You teased as you leaned across, fingers spread across his thigh to give him a little squeeze. He snapped his eyes towards you.
“Yeah that’s a load of shit. You feeling it already?” A little smirk was forming on his lips as you shrugged.
“Yeah, I feel good. I like the fruity drinks, I don’t know. They would probably be my first choice but I can’t really hide the bottles. Easier to get the shooters.” You explained, thanking the bartender as you happily pulled your drinks back between your fingertips.
“I’ve seen the inside of your truck.” He reminded you with a snort, drinking his beer a lot slower than you were drinking your drinks.
“I clean it up.” You did. He made it sound like you left it a disaster. It wasn’t that bad.
“Not fast enough,” he mumbled, “that’ll really fuck you up.” You laughed, even though you had a feeling he wasn’t kidding.
“Mhm, but I could die before that happens.” You reminded him, observing the incredulous expression on his features.
“Christ. You’re not gonna get sad are you?” That was fair, you could get sad if you wanted to. But right now you were away from the cage you were stuck in. You were happy, you were free.
“Do I look sad? I am happy. I’m just enjoying life right now, is that a crime?” You gestured towards yourself, making him chuckle. A real laugh. It was a nice sound, made you grin and your tummy feel all fuzzy.
“No.” Gator smiled at you as he tapped his finger against the top of the bar. You returned the gesture, wondering if he’d ever been told he had a nice laugh. Maybe he’d do it more if he knew.
You scanned the room, taking in the dingy lights and brash people. No one was dancing, but you expected that much. Trying to picture Gator dancing made you laugh up until you spotted what you were looking for.
“You know how to play pool?” You questioned him more eagerly than you meant to. He raised his brows.
“Billiards. Yeah, it’s pretty fucking fun.” He shrugged, thinking nothing of it as he took another drink from his beer.
“Teach me.” You demanded rather than suggested.
“You don’t know how to play?” A little scoff fell from his lips, like that was an insane thing to suggest.
“No clue.” You dropped your legs, resting your hands on your thighs as you waited for him to move. He sighed as he shifted.
“Fine. C’mon.”
You followed behind, wobbling enough that he took your hand to guide you to the only pool table that was left. You tried not to focus on the way his fingers intertwined with yours, how a spark raced up your arm and a giddy feeling grew inside of you.
It was just the alcohol. Had to me. You felt nothing for Gator. Absolutely nothing.
“So you hit it,” he told you, watching you curiously as he leaned against the table, “then whichever ball lands in the pocket is the one you aim for the rest of the game.” Gator held one of the sticks out towards you, making you grin as you wrapped your fingers around it.
“And if I get both?” You challenged, grinning at the way he shook his head.
“Doubt it,” he snorted, “but then you can decide on your own what you wanna go for.” Simple enough, you could do it.
“I like stripes.” You added, squinting your eyes as you started to get in position. It must’ve been bad, because Gator was quickly twisting your body in a different way.
“Hold it like this,” he instructed, setting your fingers up in the correct manner, “and lean forward like this. Spread your legs just a bit.” You giggled, unable to help yourself as you glanced back at him.
“I’m sure you’d enjoy that.” He snorted, one hand on your waist and the other resting in front of your hand. His fingers were wrapped around the pole stick, though he made it seem a lot smaller than what it was.
Gator stood behind you, his cologne and his warmth washing over you as he explained how you needed to strike. You listened, doing your best to keep from turning and staring at him as a chill rushed down your spine.
The stick felt awkward as you jabbed it forward, laughing before you could fully see where all of the balls had rushed off towards. A little chuckle left him as he stood at the same time, still holding a hand against your waist.
“Not too bad, sunshine.” He hummed in appreciation as he inspected your work, making you snort.
“That was shit.” He was still standing close as he smiled down at you, pink lips exposing his shiny teeth.
“You’ll get better.” That was reassuring, something that you weren’t used to. Maybe he felt bad for what he’d said, but maybe you were just being delusional too. He wasn’t normally this nice.
It took a while for you to get the hang of it, and even then he beat you by a lot. Gator was surprisingly good, well composed and concentrated as he played.
“How bad did I lose?” You questioned, staring in defeat at your empty cup. You couldn’t remember finishing your drink.
“I wasn’t paying attention.” Gator hummed as he shrugged his shoulders, eyes sparkling as he smiled down at you. You shoved at him playfully, pouting your lips out.
“You’re a terrible liar,” you told him, heart fluttering at the way he laughed, “buy me another drink please?” You weren’t thinking as you wrapped your arms around his waist, making him stiffen for a second before he relaxed.
“How can I say no to those eyes?” His fingers were against your chin, soft yet firm as he tilted you up further. A grin spread on your lips.
“You like my eyes?” That surprised you. You figured the only thing he really liked about you was what was between your legs.
“They’re pretty.” He confirmed, playfully shaking your head back and forth until you were giggling. Your insides were all flushed and racing, trying not to read too much into what he’d said.
“Am I pretty?” You did your best to keep your tone neutral, but you couldn’t help but fluter your eyelashes as you stared up at him.
“Yeah, you’re pretty fuckin’ gorgeous.” Your knees felt weak, pulse beating intensely as your heart did gymnastics inside of your chest. His compliment shouldn’t mean so much to you, but it did. You almost started giggling, squealing like you were in middle school and your crush had said he liked you back.
It was so stupid.
Your fingers intertwined with his perfectly as you wobbled back with him to the bar, speaking a good game at how terrific you were at darts. Which you weren’t, you were terrible at them. Not that he needed to know.
Gator hummed along, a shiver racing up your spine as he slid one of his large hands into the back of your jeans pocket. He cupped your ass as he turned towards you, ignoring the no smoking warning as he brought his vape up towards his mouth. Apparently he was still powerful a few towns over.
“If you were to travel anywhere for vacation, where would you go?” You asked suddenly, doing your best to avoid the sticky counter top. He snorted.
“I’ve never been anywhere before.” He reminded you, passing your drink towards you. Apparently you weren’t allowed another shot at the moment, but you had a feeling you could talk him into it.
“I know,” you drew out quickly, laughing like he’d said something funny, “that’s why I said if you could pick, remember? S’whatever you think.” Your words were beginning to slur, the world beginning to tilt as the corners of your vision were beginning to grow black.
“Where would you pick?” Gator questioned you instead, leaning over to tell the bartender something else. You hummed, struggling to find your straw for a moment.
“Anywhere, like I’d go anywhere but here,” you told him, “s’place sucks. I wanna go to the beach.” You nodded your head, enjoying the way he squeezed your ass softly.
“It’s not too terrible. The winter is pretty.”
“Winters terrible, it’s so cold.” You whined, shaking your head completely. He snorted as he passed you a glass of something clear.
“I could keep you warm,” he hummed as he tilted his head down, nose brushing against the crook of your neck, “what? Are you ticklish?” He teased, referencing the way you clammed up and began to giggle.
“No, not I,” you held your hands up playfully, “I ain’t ticklish at all.”
“I think you’re the shit liar.” He pointed out, enjoying the way you rambled for a moment before you took turns taking sips from both drinks. You must’ve been pretty far gone, because the second drink tasted like nothing.
“Your boyfriend's cute.” A girl interrupted a moment later, all kind smiles and shiny eyes. You smirked, looking back towards Gator’s stunned expression.
“Thanks,” you responded slyly, enjoying the way his eyes widened and his cheeks burned, “he’s pretty damn handsome. I’m lucky.” You lazily brought your hand up, teasingly tapping the side of his face.
The girl didn’t stay around long after that, which you didn’t mind. You weren’t quite pleased that others had begun to notice how attractive he was. You turned, surprised at how he was observing you.
“What?” you raised your eyebrows at him, “it’s just fun. Don’t stress out about it.” You told him, squishing his nose until he swatted your hand away.
“Didn’t say I was.” He grumbled, making you grin.
“Yeah but you look like a deer caught in headlights.”
“You called me handsome.” A smirk grew on his lips as your heart fluttered. You could remind him that he called you beautiful earlier.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” You teased, nudging your hip against his softly. He held onto you, tugging you close.
His lips were warm against the side of your neck as he kissed you slowly, softly. A loud sigh left your lips as you tilted your head back, savoring the way he was touching you. There was something possessive about his grip, about the way his lips dragged against your neck.
Then you felt his teeth digging into your flesh, a little whine leaving you as he licked away at the tender spot. It felt good, too good.
“I love this song,” you exclaimed loudly as you pulled away, gasping as you looked at him, “S’Reba! Reba! God this is such a good song.” You gave his shoulders a little shake, enjoying the bewildered look he shot you.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Don’t you diss on Reba,” you wagged your finger at him, “s’not nice. She’s incredible and her show is like just as good. Poor Reba.”
“You’re a mess.” Gator had a soft look in his eyes as he watched you, eyebrow slightly raised as you began to rock back and forth.
“I wanna pick another song, can I borrow some money? I’ll pay you back.” You wagged your finger at him, giggling as you leaned against him. He was warm and firm, comforting as you sighed against him.
“Yeah, with what fucking money?” That was fair. You didn’t have a job.
“I can pay you back in other ways.” You wiggled your eyebrows, shooting a flirty look at him. He watched you for the longest moment, a little sigh leaving him as you continued to pout.
It must’ve worked because he was fishing in his wallet with a grumble as you clapped your hands, quite proud of yourself. You were sure you’d owe him big later on, but you could worry about that then.
“Get us another drink and I’ll meet you at that booth.” You patted his ass this time, giggling at the way he grumbled underneath his breath.
“You’re bossy.” Gator sent you a half smile, making your heart thud. God. You really wanted to kiss him. You wanted to kiss him badly.
“I wanna sit,” you whined, “give me just a second. Save our spot.” You were squeezing at his waist before you were stumbling away, still feeling his gaze remaining on you the entire time.
It took longer than you wanted to admit to get the song chosen, for your legs to work as you dragged yourself back towards him. The room was a lot livelier than you could remember, making you giggle even though nothing was funny.
Your legs felt like jelly as you reached out for him, skin warm and giggles falling from your tongue as he caught a hold of you. Your chest was warm against his, arms sliding lazily across his shoulders as he tugged you onto his lap.
“Careful, you might fall over.” Gator’s hands were strong on your waist as he peered over, ensuring that you hadn’t dropped anything before he straightened up again.
“I didn’t fall over,” you hiccuped, “this is right where I wanted to go.” You squeezed his knee as you smiled, rubbing your cheek against his softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
You were positive that anyone looking on would’ve gotten the wrong idea. The two of you certainly didn’t appear to be step siblings, but you didn’t care. You were so touch starved that you couldn’t be bothered. It had been so long since you’d felt comfort in someone else’s touch.
“Comfortable?” It was like he was reading your mind as he peered up at you, hand resting lazily against your waist. His fingertips were brushing against the band of your jeans, pushing in enough to press his fingers against your bare skin.
“Very.” You confirmed as you straightened up a bit, smiling down at him.
Gator was observing you in the same way you were savoring the features on his face. Your finger slowly dragged down the curve of his nose, noting the soft bump in it. Almost like he’d broken it before. Still, you really liked the way it was shaped. He had a fantastic nose.
His eyes lingered as you moved your hand away, reaching for the back of his head before you ripped the ball cap off of his head. Strands of hair fell against his forehead as he jumped, reaching for it.
“What are you doing?” He grumbled, like you had ruined some moment. You set the hat on the table, ruffling with his hair gently.
“I wanna see your hair.” You hummed, frowning as he gripped your wrist.
“Don’t fucking mess with it. Come on.” Annoyance formed on his features, but you only sighed at his stubbornness.
“Trust me,” you drew out, sighing deeply, “I’m doing something here, okay?” You told him, waiting as he slowly released his fingertips from your wrist. He stared up at you, eyes golden from the way the lights bounced off of his features.
You worked gently, trying not to smile at the way he’d ever so often let his eyelashes flutter as you attempted to get it even again. It seemed like he wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he liked his hair being played with.
“You have really nice hair,” you mumbled softly, enjoying the way it framed his features, “you look younger like this.” You admitted, though didn’t add that it made him look softer. He didn’t look as tough, which is why you assumed he liked it slicked back.
“Are you callin’ me old?” Gator challenged, looking at you in amusement. You bit down on your bottom lip, shaking your head at him.
“There,” you grinned as you put his hat on top of your head, “what do you think?” You posed a little, enjoying the way he continued to rub at your skin.
“I like it,” a raspy mumble fell from his lips, “you look very beautiful.” He complimented, watching you for the longest time.
“Should’ve brought your sheriff hat, I like that one.” Plus, it sounded really hot right now.
“I’m sure you would’ve liked that.” By the look in his eyes, you were sure that he did too.
“Oh I like it a lot.” You glanced down at his pink lips, heart hammering as you acted without a second thought.
You kissed him softly, the softest little peck as your hands fell to his chest. It was slightly awkward as you took him by surprise, making him jump for a moment.
He was quickly on you before you could react, his hand heavy against your waist as he brought the other up to the side of your neck. He held you in place as he took the lead, soft lips dragging against yours as you felt the familiar fire burning in the pit of your stomach.
Kissing Gator left you weak in the knees, made your head spin with desire as your kisses became more passionate. His fingers were burning into your flesh, marking his territory as you let yourself get lost in the feel of him.
Your fingers twisted against the hair on the neck of his neck, earning a little sigh from him as he sucked on your top lip. His tongue flicked out ever so softly, almost experimentally as you met his movements.
A strong desire to to turn and face him filled you, your clit throbbing as you imagined yourself rutting down against his thigh. A moan tumbled free from you as you pulled away, spit connecting your lips as you stared at him through half lidded eyes.
“Let’s get out of here.” You whispered to him, feeling like there were thousands of little invisible strings connecting the two of you. You couldn’t pull away, couldn’t move without having him with you.
“And go where?” Gator’s cheeks were slightly flushed, lips swollen and wet.
“Anywhere,” you sighed as you nudged your nose against his, “just wanna be with you.” It was vulnerable, but it was the truth. That’s all that you really wanted.
“The ranch?” His suggestion almost made you wince.
“No, I don’t wanna go back yet.” You tugged on his hair softly, making him groan. He nodded his head, reaching for something.
“Drink this and then we’ll go.” You peered down at the cup that appeared in your hands, nodding your head softly.
“Can we take it to go?” You were really wanted to get out of here. You wanted to go somewhere where it was just the two of you.
He must’ve been fine with that, because he was tapping the side of your thigh and helping you stand before scooting out of the booth so he could go and close his tab. You wobbled behind, sipping on your water just as he instructed.
“Christ, you’re an expensive date.” He grumbled as he shook his head. You grinned sheepishly, though you were surprised he even bothered paying in the first place.
Date. That was almost enough to send you over the edge.
The outside air was still warm and muggy as you walked with him, your legs feeling less wobbly than they had before. Despite that you still held onto his hand, not caring if he was annoyed or not.
“Wanna smoke,” you told him, searching for where you’d put your cigarettes, “I love a drunk cigarette. Don’t you?” You questioned as you lit one up, wobbling back and forth as he leaned against his truck.
“I guess,” he was observing you again, a gleam in his eye, “you think Jeremiah likes any of this?”
“Probably not,” you laughed as you took another long drag, “he’d probably be horrified.” You admitted, sharing a little chuckle with him.
It was quiet for a moment as he brought his vape up to his lips as you fluttered your eyes shut, recalling what was still bothering you.
“You know, I’m still mad about what you said.” You opened up, observing the way he looked at you dryly.
“It wasn’t a lie, you are all used up.” A smirk formed on his lips as he watched you, eyes lingering at the way your eyebrows furrowed.
“By who? You?” You flicked the cigarette towards him, making him scoff.
“Maybe,” he chuckled, “s’not a bad thing, is it? Kinda hot.” He reached for you, hands heavy against your waist as he hummed. You bit down on your bottom lip.
“You so get off to that.” You pressed your finger into his chest, savoring how warm he was.
“Maybe.” You lingered in his grip for a moment before pulling away, sighing deeply.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” you proclaimed as you held your arms out, twirling around, “look at the sky. I mean wow. You can’t find that everywhere.”
“Yeah, looks beautiful.” When you looked back at him he was staring at you, lips wrapped around his vape.
You were gonna be sick.
“I feel like a mess.” You admitted as you rubbed the back of your neck, falling towards him again. You couldn’t stop touching him, fearing that you’d lose the ability to do so.
“You drank too much.” A snort left his lips as he tilted his head down towards you, breath smelling all fruity.
“Almost blacked out until you gave me that water.” You admitted with a laugh, enjoying the way he rolled his eyes.
“Thank God.”
“What do you think about all of this? Like space and what not? God made it or like ya know, the big bang? I’m not sure how it works.” You rambled off as you stared back up towards the sky again, truly believing that it was beautiful.
“They’re stars,” he snorted, “I don’t know. It’s pretty. I don’t think much about it.” That made a lot of sense to you. You wondered if Roy ever spoke about the stars to him, or his mother. Maybe that’s why he didn’t have an opinion on them. No one had ever told him what to think.
Your eyes continued to drift across the bright stars, how dazzling they were as he slowly dragged his fingers up and down the curve of your spine. You chewed on your bottom lip, savoring all the ways he touched you.
“What about you?” You turned, looking at him curiously.
“What about me?” The question slipped from your tongue as you tilted your head, meeting his hazel eyes.
“You really wanna marry that loser?” He was back to talking about Jeremiah, almost making you laugh.
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” That was still your bitter reality. You didn’t even have the courage to bring up what his father had said, nor did you want to. In your opinion, it was easier to pretend like it had never happened.
“Do you like him?” Gator was observing you closely, all of his emotions hidden away in a protective shield.
“He’s nice. I don’t know. I guess I’m glad he’s not an old creep.” You smiled, fingers rubbing across his chest.
“Yeah, but he’s still a fucking loser.” Yeah, he was quite the loser.
“No one’s as cool as you are, Gator,” you teased, earning a flush on his cheeks, “you’ve got the killer name and everything.” You complimented, squeezing his face between your fingers.
“Right.” He grumbled but did nothing to pull away, like he was just as starved for your touch.
You slowly released your grip, though you didn’t really want to. You liked the way his skin felt against yours, how you still felt a jolt of electricity rushing through you.
“You gonna have kids with him?” Now that surprised you.
“I guess that’s expected.” You crinkled your features up, not too keen on thinking about that right now. He tilted his head.
“Do you want them?” A hint of vulnerability lingered on his tone, like he was slightly afraid to ask.
“I don’t know,” you sighed as you shrugged your shoulders, “I haven’t thought about it much I guess. You really want kids?” He grinned at you.
“Yeah.”
“That’s shocking.” You supposed it really wasn’t. Roy needed someone to carry on his name. Maybe his grandson would be good enough to be named after him.
“Why?” Gator looked slightly offended, but you hadn’t meant it in that manner.
“You’re just-, I don’t know. You.” You gestured towards him, making him scoff.
“Thanks.”
“I think you’d be a better father than Roy.” You hoped he believed you, because you really meant it. It wasn’t too late for him to change, to better himself.
“He’s not too bad.” Now it was your turn to scoff and roll your eyes.
“Sure.”
“But I appreciate that.” He looked at you softly, so gently that you thought you might pass out right there. You quickly cleared your throat.
“So are you going to take me somewhere or-?”
“Get in the fucking truck.” He grumbled as he pulled the passenger door open for you. You flicked the end of his hat, nearly knocking it off of your head.
“Yes, officer. Thank you, officer.” It was harder than expected to crawl inside, but he was there to help you. Which you appreciated.
You two ended up at some cheap motel, all dingy and worn down. Though you weren’t complaining. It was secretive, just what you two needed.
His lips were on yours before he barely got the door shut, his hands heavy against the side of your neck as you moaned into his mouth.
He tasted like everything you hoped for and desired, like everything you’d ever wanted was pressed right up against you. His touch was possessive, needy as he stripped you from your clothes.
You’d never had someone kiss you so passionately, admire you in such a manner that you felt your breath get caught in your lungs. Your heart hammered roughly against your chest as he reached a large hand out to cup your tits.
Shivers spread across your skin as he slowly groped your flesh, squeezing softly as he bit down on his bottom lip. His thumb pressed firmly against your right nipple, a little sigh falling from him as he peered at you in interest.
“I like your tits,” he smirked softly, leaning close enough to spit across your nipple. You squeaked at the feeling, taken by surprise as he rubbed his spit into your skin, “you look so nice like this, sunshine.”
“When I’m not being a bitch?” You challenged, eyebrows raised as he snapped his gaze back up towards you.
“You always find a way to fucking ruin it. You just don’t learn, do you?” His voice was all raspy and warm, your knees buckling as you found yourself falling even closer to him.
A gasp left you from the rough way he gripped your face, spreading your lips apart as he spit into your mouth without warning. Once, then twice. Both times you licked his saliva from your teeth, moaning as you swallowed it.
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he kissed your skin slow and sweet, licking and nibbling on your flesh as you knitted your fingers through his hair. There was a fire burning from where he touched, igniting you into flames.
“Got the best tang in North Dakota,” he teased, using that filthy word that you hated as a loud moan fell from you, “fuck, look at that. So fucking wet.”
“Don’t tease me, Gator,” you whined, legs spread wide as he slowly dragged a finger through your slick folds. He was purposely ignoring your clit, clearly enjoying the way you squirmed underneath him, “wanna feel you so bad. Please, please fuck me.”
Gator’s eyes darkened as he peered up at you, his lips parting as he slowly darted his tongue out across your cunt. The pressure was intense, heavenly as you threw your head back into the pillows.
Whines fell from you as he continued the same languid motions, the tip of his tongue pressing down against your throbbing clit as your hands found his hair. Desire and pleasure burned inside you, overtaking you as you rutted your cunt up against his face.
He took it all, lapping away at you like a starved man as he moaned into your pussy. His hands found your waist, pressing down softly until he was holding you in place.
Loud whines fell from your mouth as your fingers tugged on his hair, moaning at the way his lips wrapped around your sensitive bud. He was dragging his tongue roughly against your clit, pressing down with enough pleasure that you saw stars.
You were sure this was the closest you’d ever get to heaven, his warm tongue dragging against your clit continuously. Moans and whimpers falling freely from your tongue, filling the room in a filthy melody.
Gator was groaning just as greedily into your cunt, fingers buried deep into your flesh as he continued to languidly lap at your sensitive bud. He was making a mess with it too, slick coating his nose and chin from how hungrily he was kissing at your cunt.
“Gator,” moans continued to pour from you as you felt your mind grow foggy, filled with bliss as he continued to lap at your cunt, “oh my God, just like that. Keep doin’ that, baby.” You cooed, the pet name spilling free without a second thought.
He groaned into your cunt, vibrations spreading inside of your body as you whimpered loudly. The mattress slightly moved at the way he rutted his hips, grunting into your pussy as he mumbled little praises into your skin. It was filthy, dirty. But God you loved it all.
“Makin’ such a fucking mess,” he moaned as his nose dragged against your clit, leaving you squirm underneath him, “Christ, look at that.” He mumbled against you, inhaling the taste of you on his tongue.
Everything inside of you was burning, a fire like no other as waves of pleasure crashed inside of you. It was so intense that it felt like it was getting harder to breathe, to move as he dragged his hands roughly across your curves.
A broken cry left your lips as you came suddenly, intensely as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. It all felt too good as your thighs fell against his head, making him groan as he smacked at the side of your thighs roughly.
Your lips curled into a lazy grin as you squeaked again, overstimulated at the way he continued to lap at your puffy pussy. He was groaning loudly as he continued to kiss and lick at you, gripping you like he wouldn’t get you again.
“Oh God, Gator,” you gasped as you pushed at his shoulders, biting down on your bottom lip as you trembled underneath him, “oh my God. Wow. Fuck, you’re good at that.” You didn’t really mean to make his ego even bigger, but it slid off of your tongue easily.
“Yeah?” he smirked as he licked at his messy lips, his nose and chin still coated in your slick, “you got a nice pussy, sunshine. Christ, look at you.” He groaned, pressing two fingers across your folds to spread you apart.
“Stop,” you squirmed underneath him, chest hot, “you’re so gross.” You protested, though your voice barely came out higher than a whisper. He looked at you hungrily, moving his hands to your thighs and squeezing roughly.
“That all you got, sunshine?” Your heart fluttered at his challenge, a smirk forming on your lips.
“No,” you giggled as you slowly sat up, pushing your foot against his chest playfully, “c’mere.” His eyes dragged across your features as he slowly crawled over you, slick lips pulled into a grin as he pinned your arms down to your sides.
Then his mouth was on yours, making you croon as you tasted yourself on his soft lips. You could feel your clit beginning to throb in anticipation, sighing against him as you rutted your hips up slowly.
Gator groaned deeply against your mouth, squeezing your wrists as sounds of pleasure fell from you. Your eyebrows furrowed softly at the sensation of his tongue flicking out against yours, tasting your moans as electricity pulsed between the two of you.
You were ravenous as you tilted your mouth up towards him, his nose dragging against your cheek as you kissed him even deeper. Your hands fell to his chest as you messily began to strip him of his clothes, savoring the way his warm skin felt against your own.
“Want you,” you whispered against his mouth, teeth grazing against his bottom lip, “lay back.” You instructed him, sharing a grin with him as he quickly stripped himself from his boxers and jeans.
Your heart hammered roughly inside of your chest, sweat collecting on the back of your neck as you moved onto your knees. Gator was a little too enthusiastic as he laid himself down against the mattress, arms resting underneath his head.
His hardened cock was resting against his abdomen, his pink tip leaking onto his thick hair as you slowly crawled your way over his thick thighs. His hazel eyes traced over your body hungrily, biting down on his bottom lip as you slowly raked your nails across his skin.
“You look good up there,” he hummed as he brought his vape up to his lips, watching you with interest as you wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, “just like that, sunshine. Gonna show me what you’re worth?” He tilted his head, lazy smirk on his lips like he was challenging you.
“Maybe if you shut that trap of yours,” you teased, spreading the precum across the length of his cock, “s’that feel nice?” You enjoyed the soft gasp that left his lips, how he sighed deeply and nodded his head.
A flush was beginning to spread across his skin as his heavy hands fell to your sides, massaging your flesh as you brought his girth tip up towards your slick hole. A smirk grew on your lips as you felt his hands trembling against your hips, his eyes locked on the way the head of his cock was being pushed into your cunt.
A warm buzz spread through you as you slowly lowered yourself along his thick cock, sighing deeply as you began to push every inch of him into you. The stretch of his girth was delicious, making your eyes flutter shut as you adjusted to the new position.
Little moans fell from you as you dragged your hands across his hairy chest, sighing at the way he bottomed out inside of you. Your clit was throbbing in pleasure as that familiar jolt of electricity hit you, filling you with an indescribable bliss.
“Christ, look at that,” Gator groaned from underneath you, pressing down on your swollen clit hard enough to make you cry out, “you take cock so good, sunshine. Jesus. Such a good girl for me.” He teased, hazel eyes flashing in amusement as he stared up at you.
“Shut up,” you panted, barely able to speak from how foggy your brain had grown from the pleasure, “that feels-, wow. God, you’re so deep in me.” You whispered, unable to move as you continued to adjust around his fat girth.
“I know,” he smirked as he brushed his thumb lower, tracing the way you were wrapped around his dick, “Christ you’re takin’ me so well. Fuck.” He moaned as the cockiness slowly slipped away, quickly replaced by pleasure as he observed you.
A strangled cry left you as you slowly began to rock yourself along the length of his curved cock. He was long enough that you had to push yourself up quite a ways before dragging yourself back down against him, earning a chorus of moans from both of you.
It took a moment to gain your rhythm, your mind foggy from the pleasure and the alcohol you’d consumed earlier. Your movements were a little sloppy before you finally gained your confidence, focusing on chasing the way the tip of his cock was dragging against your bundle of nerves.
“Oh God,” you gasped, smiling at the sensation as a choked gasp left you, “feels so good, Gator. Fuck.” You trembled as the tip of his cock continued to press against your g-spot, spreading a fresh wave of electricity through you.
Gator watched you lazily as he moved his arms behind his head again, lips parting as he freely groaned underneath you. His cheeks were flushed, eyes focused on your movements as his lips spread further and further apart.
You grazed your eyes across the hair on his armpit, how it’d grown wet with sweat. You were leaning forward before you knew what you were fully doing, dragging your tongue out across the thick tuft of hair as you licked away his sweat and the slight taste of his deodorant. Not the most fantastic thing to have in your mouth, but the action made your cunt squeeze around his girth.
“You’re such a fucking freak,” he groaned, his cock twitching inside of you as he began to rut his hips up with your movements, “you like that, don’t you?” He was looking up at you hungrily, using one of his hands to reach up and grip your chin tightly.
All you could do was moan in response as he continued to drag his cock up against your bundle of nerves, hitting that spongy spot every time as your sounds of pleasure grew louder. Your cunt was leaking around his girth, coating him in your arousal as his little groans grew louder.
“Gator, fuck,” you sighed deeply as you leaned into his hand, words muffled from the way he was squeezing your face, “right there, oh fuck! Fuck!” You felt your eyes rolling back in pleasure, squeaking as your clit throbbed from his movements.
Your body was burning from pleasure as he leaned his head up, only a few centimeters from your face as he pulled you even closer. HIs nose brushed against yours before he was spitting into your mouth again, not caring that it slid down your chin and across your chest. It was messy, filthy.
Then his hands were everywhere as he smeared his saliva across your chest, groaning as he pressed his fingers against your nipples again. You cried out as he pinched at your nipples, adding a fresh wave of pleasure to you as you felt the waves of your orgasm beginning to grow deeper.
Your thighs were trembling, arms shaking as you continued to drag yourself up and down the length of his cock. Everything felt so intense, so pleasurable as the tip of his dick continued to press against your bundle of nerves.
“Gator,” you whined as you dug your nails into his thighs, whimpering as his balls pressed against your ass with every movement, “feels so good. Oh my God. Oh God. I’m so close, baby.”
Gator’s hands were hot as he gripped your ass, squeezing your flesh before smacking your skin roughly. He did it hard enough to make the sound echo in the room, your skin stinging and raw from the way he repeatedly did it.
Your toes were curling in bliss as you sighed loudly, squealing from the sensation as his balls continued to hit against your skin. A carnal sound left him as he peered up at you, eyes heavy with pleasure.
He groaned as he rolled you over, surprising you as he manhandled you onto your hands and knees. The bed creaked loudly underneath the weight of you two, the headboard smacking against the wall as he roughly dragged you back against the curve of his cock.
His body was warm as he dragged himself over your back, chest hot and sweaty as he wrapped one arm around your waist to keep you steady. Your legs were still shaking so badly that you almost collapsed, babbling as he roughly began to fuck into your tight cunt.
“S’not fun if you cum so soon,” he teased, licking the sweat away from your neck as he pressed his fingertips harder into your hips, “gonna fuck that pretty pussy of yours so good. S’that what you want?” His voice was raspy and deep, vibrating across your skin.
“Want it so bad, Gator.” You were desperate as he slowly brought his movements to a stop, teasing you as your cunt fluttered around his thick girth.
“Whaddya want?” He was teasing you now as he tilted your head towards him, tongue flicking out to lick at your swollen lips. You whimpered as you leaned into him, pecking his lips pathetically before he was shaking your head back and forth.
“My big brother’s cock,” you whispered, the dirty words falling from your tongue, “please. I want it so badly, want you to fuck me.” That’s all you could focus on at the moment. You had been so close, and you needed to get there again.
And only Gator could make you feel this good.
You cried out as he began to drag your body along the length of his cock, pressing deep into you as your cunt fluttered around his fat girth. Your arousal was leaking around him, coating his dick as his balls smacked against your ass with every movement.
With each thrust he pushed you deeper into the mattress, his body heavy over yours as he guided you along his thick girth. He was cooing into your ear, praising you as spit fell from your lips. You were too far gone, drunk on the feeling of his cock pulsing inside of your cunt.
Gator’s arm wrapped around your neck, his bicep cushioning your chin as drool continued to slip from your lips. Moans were falling from you mindlessly as you cried out, his cock continuing to drag in and out of your soaked cunt. The sounds that filled the room were filthy, disgusting as he continued to drag you along the curve of his cock.
“Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck,” his voice was raspy, thick and full of pleasure as he groaned into your ear. Shivers were spreading through your body as you trembled underneath him, body limp, “takin’ your big brother’s cock so good. Look at that. Fucked ya dumb, such a good little whore.”
You tried to speak but was unable to do so as choked moans fell from you, your fingers wrapping around his arm as you gripped a hold of him for support. Your toes curled in bliss, crying out as your cunt clamped down around his cock. You came with a loud moan, your voice cracking as he milked your orgasm from you.
“Christ, s’that’s it,” he praised you as he used the hand that was at your hip to press down on your sensitive clit, making you squirm and cry out again, “such a good little whore. Mhm, fuck. My favorite little sister.” He continued to ramble, nose brushing against your cheek as he guided you through your ecstasy.
You were overstimulated as he continued to whisper dirty things to you, his tone growing more desperate as he bullied his cock in and out of your weeping cunt. His hands were burning into your skin, body heavy against yours as the smell of him lingered on you too. All you could feel, taste and smell was him.
Gator.
His movements grew sloppier, his sounds more desperate as you found yourself trembling underneath him. He was panting heavily into the crook of your neck, his thrusts becoming sloppier as he gripped onto you tight enough to leave bruises.
He gave you no warning as he buried himself deep inside of you, heavy balls pressed against your ass as he came with a deep groan. The sound made your eyes flutter shut, a moan leaving you as you slowly rutted yourself back against him.
His cum painted your walls white, filling your cunt as he pressed his fingertips deep into your hips. It was enough to make you wince, but it didn’t hurt enough to push him away. Actually, you like it quite a bit.
“Gator,” you whined, completely spent as you collapsed underneath him. You were drooling messily onto his skin, his bicep warm and sweaty against your cheek, “oh my God.” You were laughing now, though even that took up most of your energy.
“Yeah? How was that?” He teased as he licked your neck before peppering kisses against your skin. You hummed.
“S’nice. Oh my God. I don’t think I can move.” You admitted, barely able to speak from how roughly you were panting.
Gator looked heavenly. His hair was all messy and sweaty, sticking to his forehead as he looked down at you with a lazy grin. His cheeks were flushed, lips swollen and spit covered as he peered at you in awe.
He must’ve enjoyed himself too.
“We don’t gotta go anywhere yet,” he added softly, slowly letting you rest against the mattress, “can stay here all night.” He hummed, moving to kiss against your shoulder. You sighed deeply.
-the first time your parents arranged a dinner for everyone to talk and meet he couldn't stop looking at you the whole time..
-you accidently brushed your foot against his leg and he immediately got a boner, trying to act casual but you saw the way his expression changed
-the second time you did it on purpose, moving your foot up to his thigh and rubbing it around teasingly, avoiding his dick but making sure it's not innocent
-then you move it higher, rubbing his boner while keeping eye contact with him, answering his dad's questions innocently while battling your lashes
-he forces himself to look down at his plate, trying to stop himself from groaning and breathing too loudly, gripping his fork
-when you officialy move in you keep wearing skirts amd dresses, constantly moving around and bending over so he can take a peek at your panties :o
-whenever it's his turn to do the laundry he always steals a pair of your panties before washing them, sniffing and licking them later while he's jerking off
-his favorite pairs are the pastel ones, especially baby pinks and blues with a little bow and barely anything to cover in the back
-one time you shouted for him while you were showering, telling him that there's no hot water. he walked inside, and you didn't even bother to wrap yourself in a towel
-it was the first time he had sex with you, bending you over the sink and holding you in a headlock as he didn't even bother to grab a condom, filling you up until you were leaking
-then it was constant quickies anytime he could get you, pulling you over when you were just walking around with friends or coming back from parties
-the backseat of his car is basically your designed place for fucking, and he even keeps your panties somewhere in his car hidden for when he gets bored on a patrol
-he especially loves it when you suck him off while he's driving, feeling powerful that he can't get in trouble because he's above the law
-and he's always fighting to keep it in his pants around your parents, having a problem with it especially when you refer to him 'brother' while talking with his dad
FILTHY! STEPCEST! I'M DOWN BAD FOR GATOR! GOT WET WRITING THIS! not proofread! this is basically a preview of the full work i'm writing rn so i'm basically just planning the plot :pp im working on a masterlist and all that shit so my blog is a bit messy now ;(
The next morning you were tangled in Gator’s arms, his legs placed between your own as he snored into the crook of your neck. His body was warm and firm against yours, comforting as you as a dull throb settled in the back of your head.
Hangovers were usually rough for you, reminding you of your mistakes as the emotions hit you like a train wreck. Normally you spent the day biting back tears, but today you felt more put together than you ever had.
And that was dangerous.
A deep sigh left Gator, tickling your skin as he slowly rolled over. He rubbed his hand across his face, mumbling something underneath his breath before he was standing and dragging his feet to the bathroom.
Despite not saying anything, this still felt too domestic for you. Maybe that was because you’d never really been with anyone before. It still scared you enough to get yourself dressed quickly, putting your clothes back on from last night.
“S’fucking shithole,” Gator mumbled as he walked back out, rubbing at his side before pulling his pants on. His face was still red from where he’d been slumbering against you, hair messy, “didn’t mean to sleep in.” That was the best apology he could come up with as he nodded at you, tossing a stick of gum in your direction.
“Thanks,” you responded softly, feeling more nervous than you had in a while, “I hope I didn’t say anything too stupid last night.” You shrugged your shoulders, giving him a sheepish smile as he laughed.
“You’ve said worse,” he shrugged his shoulders, “we should go before Roy finds out. We’re late already.” That was enough to get you moving, taking a quick trip to the bathroom before you were out the door.
Something between the two of you felt lighter as you sat in the passenger seat, his hand on your thigh and the windows down as he drove. You kept looking towards him, admiring the way his dark hair was blowing across his forehead and cheeks. He looked more relaxed too, making you wonder if he was feeling the same way.
That could never last for too long though.
Dread filled you as the ranch came into view, your heart pattering roughly inside of your chest as you twisted your fingers tightly together. You were late. Your mother would be up by now, making breakfast. Which you were supposed to help with.
Maybe today was your lucky day and she was sick. Then again, that wouldn’t stop Roy’s demands. He didn’t care, not unless he was the one that was ill.
“I’ll help you up,” Gator replied as he stopped the truck, leaning forward to peer around, “I don’t see anyone. We should be good.” That didn’t stop you from ducking your head, rushing until you were outside of your window and clambering up.
His hands were warm against your thighs and your hips as he hoisted you up, guiding you on where to grab and position your feet as you dragged yourself up through the window. You huffed and puffed the entire time, fingers burning from how difficult it was.
Though it was definitely worth it.
“See you soon.” You told him as you peered out the window, sending him a sly smile as he stared up at you with a goofy grin on his lips.
He was too damn cute.
You were in desperate need of a shower, but you didn’t have time to worry about that as you found a clean dress and drowned yourself in some perfume to hide the smell of yourself. You had just enough time to brush your teeth before you were racing downstairs, pretending like your morning was off to the same routine.
Susan was already hard at work in the kitchen, just like she always was. Your smile dropped as you got a good look at her, at the fresh set of bruises on her face. It seemed like her and Roy must’ve gotten into quite the fight last night.
Guilt formed in your tummy as you quietly got to work, taking turns flipping the sausage patties as you remained silent. Suddenly you wished you hadn’t come to help, knowing this is when she tended to lash out at you.
It was quiet for a while as you two fell into a routine, your mother barely acknowledging you until she sighed deeply.
“You slept in late.” Susan’s tone was clipped. Short. She wasn’t happy.
“I was tired.” You gave a lame excuse, shrugging your shoulders as you focused on the bubbling grease instead of her.
“You won’t be able to do that when you’re married.” Another reminder that you weren’t making her proud, that you weren’t doing what she wanted you to do.
“Better enjoy it while I can.” You were trying to brush it off, to be funny. By the frown on her lips, you had a feeling you had only made it worse.
“You should practice being a lady.” A tsk left her lips, a habit that she did when she was disciplining you. You nodded at her.
“I’m trying. I’m sorry.” You really were sorry in some way. You didn’t want her to get beaten up in this manner.
The kitchen was quiet again other than the sound of the oven beeping, the timer going off as Susan quickly pulled the biscuits out. You stood back, trying to think of a way to be useful without being near her.
“Where were you last night?” Susan threw the oven mitts down as she turned towards you, brows furrowed together angrily as she placed her hands on her hips.
You froze for a second too long, lips parting as an icy feeling rushed over you. There was no way she knew. She couldn’t.
“What do you mean?” You played dumb as you tilted your head, looking at her curiously.
“I’m not stupid,” she shook her head angrily, “I know you weren’t in your room. Where were you?” Shit. You didn’t have an excuse. Not now.
“I-,” you stalled, not knowing how to answer her. You were suddenly fearful, worried that she was going to lash out at you.
Or worse.
The thought of Roy finding out nearly brought you to your nears, fear clawing at your heart as you struggled to swallow. Struggled to breathe. If he knew, you’d be dead. You were certain of it.
“Were you with a boy?” She was watching you harshly, waiting for you to slip up.
“No, no,” you gulped roughly, “I just wanted some fresh air.”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him.” Susan’s tone was clipped and sharp, like she was disappointed. You raised your eyebrows.
“Who?” It had been about a week since you’d seen Jeremiah, though he texted you every morning.
“Gator.” The clarification made you freeze briefly, your stomach dropping as you snapped your head towards her in surprise.
“Well we live in the same house.” You told her as you laughed nervously, shaking your head at her comment. She didn’t know, there was no way she could know. No one did. Gator said to trust him and you did.
“He’s trouble. Don’t let him tempt you into sin. You’re smarter than that.” She was angry, you could see that on her expression. But she didn’t look disgusted, she didn’t look like she knew.
“I wouldn’t ever touch Gator like that. Gross. He’s like disgusting and -, and he stinks. Like he reeks.” You answered as you stumbled over your words, feeling relieved at the way her shoulders relaxed softly.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, taking you by surprise, “I just worry. You’re such a good girl, and a man like him will always take advantage of that. I want you to be better than I have been.” She spoke the last part softer, whispering as your eyes widening. You nodded your head quickly.
“I am, mama,” you inhaled deeply, forcing yourself to smile, “now where were we?”
-
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months as your relationship with Gator strengthened. Not that you necessarily liked calling it a relationship. You two were just passionate. Lonely.
But that was it. No other feelings had developed between the two of you. You both knew the unsaid rules, and you didn’t need reminders.
Being with him was thrilling; full of stolen kisses and sneaky moments. With every day that passed you were sure that the two of you had grown more and more reckless, but it was hard to care when he had you feeling that way. You’d never felt such passion before, such desire. You were wanted, genuinely needed.
And you craved that more than anything. Even if it was from the one person you shouldn’t gain it from.
There was a lot of sneaking around, which was tricky, but you liked it most when he was reckless enough to take you inside of the house. Sometimes it was the kitchen, the living room or occasionally in the bathroom. You most enjoyed when he snuck into your room, hand over your mouth as you tried not to stare at the religious images on your walls.
Most often you met in his truck, or in the old barn that wasn’t really used anymore. It was the safest location, keeping curious ears and eyes off of the two of you.
It was hard now that you were sure your mom was suspicious, though you were good at playing dumb. So far it seemed like Roy was oblivious to the both of you, which worked out well for the both of you.
On the other hand, you were still seeing Jeremiah. If you could even call it that. You met for meals and saved a spot next to him at church, but you hadn’t gone any further than hand holding and a few pecks on the cheek. He truly was a gentleman.
Besides, it was kind of fun going behind his back. You knew it shouldn’t be, but you also couldn’t tell Gator no. It wasn’t like Jeremiah was your boyfriend either, you were just…
Well, you really didn’t know what the two of you were. You were in some odd limbo with both men.
Despite the months beginning to grow colder, the afternoons were still fairly warm. You knew there was only a few more weeks of that, however, before the snow moved in.
So you took every chance you could to see Gator hard at work. Soon you wouldn’t be able to admire his muscles in the same way that you wanted to.
“I think you missed a spot.” You teased, tilting your head as he approached your usual spot at the fence. Watching him was a lot more fun now.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Gator smirked as he took the water bottle from you. Water splashed between the two of you, but you didn’t mind. Not when he was so close to you.
“Busy?” You questioned, watching the water dribble down his chin as he chugged it. You slowly moved, the back of your thighs burning from how you’d been sitting.
“Bored,” he answered, “why? You have something to entertain me?” His hazel eyes met yours, filled with interest as he raised his brows. You gave him a little grin.
“Wanna find out?”
The rush to the barn was anything but casual. You were sure if anyone else was around that they would know exactly what the two of you were doing, but luckily you were both alone. Everyone else was too busy doing actual work as Roy liked to say.
As soon as the barn door was shut you were on him, fingers laced through his shirt as you pulled yourself up towards his mouth. A moan left you as you tasted the watermelon on his tongue, heart hammering as you melted against him.
Gator was just as eager as he wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you close as dragging his lips against yours in a passionate frenzy. You hated how badly you enjoyed kissing him, how you could make out with him for hours and still want more.
Fireworks exploded in your tummy as electricity flowed through your body, your mouth hungrily lapping against his as he captured your top lip between his. His hands were heavy against your face, cupping you and holding you in place.
“S’nice,” he tsked as he bit down on your bottom lip, tugging softly as you moaned against him, “you like that, don’t you?” He teased, hazel eyes filled with lust. His pink lips were curled in a familiar smirk, observing the adoration in your gaze.
You fell onto your knees in front of him, grinning mischievously as your hands fell to his thighs. His blue eyes met yours, full of lust and passion as your fingers brushed over the hair on his thighs. You trinkled closer and closer until you reached the belt on his pants, loosening them before you began to tug them down.
“Needy little thing, huh?” He grinned, his tongue dragging out against his bottom lip as your eyes snapped to the way his hard cock fell against his warm skin. You admired his thick girth, his leaky tip and the soft tuft of dark hair that was nestled underneath the base of his cock.
“I don’t have to do it.” You reminded him, smirking as you wrapped your fingers around his thick girth. You gave him a little squeeze, earning a groan from him before you rolled your hand over the curve of his cock. You spread the precum along the tip of his dick, watching in fascination before you began to jerk your hand at a slow speed.
“Mhm,” He hummed in agreement, fully knowing that you wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Not now. Not when you were drooling for the feel of his cock inside of your mouth, “You talk a lot.” He stated dryly, lips curling into a smirk as you gripped his balls with your free hand.
His cock throbbed against your palm despite his grievances, telling you that he really wasn’t that bored. You gave his tip a soft kiss, letting your tongue drift across his warm skin. You shut your eyes, savoring the taste of him in your mouth.
He groaned in appreciation as the tip of his cock fell into your mouth, slow and sweet as your lips stretched around him. His cock felt heavy as you swirled your tongue across his base, licking at the veins that decorated him.
You bobbed your head up and down the length of his cock slowly, building a rhythm as your jaw adjusted to the stretch of his width. You savored the taste of him on your tongue, the smell of him as your senses became overwhelmed.
“Fuck,” he cursed as he gripped the back of your head, pushing you down a little further to make you gag around him. You squinted your eyes shut tighter, drool slipping free from your lips and coating the part of his cock that didn’t fit inside of you, “I like you a lot better when you’re like this.” He groaned, making your eyes flick open towards him.
You used your spit as lube, pumping his base softly as your saliva coated your hand. Your knees dug into the floorboard hard enough that you could feel the gaps and dirt, leaving imprints on your skin as his heavy cock rested against your tongue.
The feeling of your stretched lips and tight jaw was well worth the reward of looking at his blissful expression. His dark eyebrows were furrowed together, golden skin coated in a thin layer of sweat and pink lips parted as soft groans fell free.
Your stomach twisted in pleasure as you moaned around him, enjoying the way his tip hit the back of your throat as your fingers fell down between your legs. You squeezed at his balls, holding him in place while you began to rub two of your fingers across your clothed clit.
“You’re such a dirty slut,” he teased as you continued to drool around the length of his cock, pumping the base softly as your saliva coated his skin. The dirty word turned you on, made your insides twist and curl in the best manner, “Getting off on sucking your brother’s cock. Whore.” He huffed, groaning as he began to rock his hips up slowly.
Gator curled his fingers together, holding them into a fist as his head fell back in pleasure. You rubbed your fingers faster across your clit, your whimpers vibrating across his thick cock. You gagged again, pleasure racing through your body as you continued to grind yourself onto your fingers.
His fingers squeezed at your skin, grunting loudly as he thrust his cock deeper into your mouth. You choked at the sensation, squeezing your eyes shut again as his dick twitched against your tongue. His groans fell from his lips in a sweet melody as his warm spunk coated your throat, overwhelming your senses.
Your clit twitched against your fingers, reaching your high at the right moment as you moaned around him. You pulled away with a gasp, spit and cum slipping from your lips as your chest rose and fell roughly. He smirked as his gaze fell to you, his expression cocky as he reached forward to smear his cum back into your mouth.
“How was that?” You asked, voice a little raw as you felt your thighs twitch in anticipation. You sat up a bit, grinning softly as you squeezed at his knees again.
“Alright,” He shrugged as he pulled his shorts back over his hips, dragging his eyes towards you in amusement, “I think you enjoyed it more than I did.” His answer was matter of fact, firm.
“Shut up.” You scoffed as you wiped your hands clean on your dress, then your mouth. You didn’t want him to think that you had enjoyed it too much. You pushed up onto your feet, the buzz from your high and Gator's touch racing through your body. You felt on top of the world, even if he tried to pretend like the two of you were nothing.
And he was right. The two of you were nothing.
You did not have feelings for Gator. Not at all. The way your heart was fluttering and how your stomach flipped had nothing to do with him. Nothing at all.
This was just…new. You were just excited. That was it.
A second later his arms were around your waist, making you squeal as your feet left the ground. He laughed as he slowly pulled you down onto the floorboards. Your heart was hammering roughly at the smirk he gave you, how he rested between your legs and pushed the hem of your dress up over your thighs.
“Christ you made a mess of yourself,” he tsked as he slowly flicked his tongue out against your panties, licking you through them as you squealed in protest, “you really like your brother’s cock, huh?” He dragged his nose across your right thigh, inhaling deeply.
“You’re such a pervert,” you giggled as your fingers curled into fists as anticipation spread through you, “mhm but yeah, I like how my brother’s cock makes me feel.” You added, making him peek up at you from between your legs.
And oh God did he look wrecked. Your confession always getting to him, the reminder of your taboo relationship making him groan before he was roughly tugging your panties down to your knees.
He wasted no time as he spread your legs apart, sliding two fingers into your slick hole as he licked away the remnants of your cum from your folds. A croon fell from you as you immediately moved your hands down to his hair, holding onto his sweaty strands as the pleasure grew inside of you.
The drag of his tongue was heavy and warm across your cunt, making you whimper as that familiar fire began to spread inside of you. His fingers were long and thick as he pumped them in slowly, curling them up so they were pressing against that spongy spot that made you see stars.
Sounds of pleasure fell from you as you twisted your hands through his hair, slowly rutting yourself against his face. He didn’t seem to mind today as he let you take control, burying his face deeper into your cunt as your slick spread across his nose and chin.
“God,” you gasped as he languidly dragged his tongue against your swollen clit, curling his fingers deeper against your bundle of nerves, “feels so good, Gator. Oh fuck.” You squeaked in bliss, rocking yourself against him.
“Taste so fuckin’ good,” he praised as he looked up at you, lips soaked with your arousal as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of your slick cunt, “look at that, look at how well you take me.” He sighed in bliss, eyes heavy with lust as he kissed your pussy again.
You could feel your thighs trembling as your legs fell against the side of his face, gasping as you continued to rock yourself against him mindlessly. When you were with Gator it was so easy to forget about everything else, to just feel and let yourself relax against his strong touch.
Your toes were curling in your shoes before you could help yourself, squealing as you came with a loud cry. The electricity was still pulsing inside of you, body burning as he continued to drag his fingers in and out of your slick cunt. His mouth was just as greedy, licking and sucking on your drenched folds.
“Can’t, can’t-,” you squeaked as you wiggled away, body trembling as he huffed in disappointment. A laugh fell from you as you shook your head at him, “sensitive. M’sorry.” You apologized quickly, sharing a grin with him.
“S’okay,” Gator hummed as he pulled his fingers from you slowly, licking your cum from his long digits, “you wanna taste?” He teased, smirking as he leaned over you.
His thighs were pressed against the back of yours, body warm and heavy as he leaned over you. A lustful expression settled on his features as you spread your lips and stuck your tongue out, moaning as a thick glob of spit fell from his mouth and into yours.
You made a whole show of it as you swallowed dramatically, licking your teeth clean and sticking your tongue out again to prove that you’d swallowed it. A groan fell from him as he gripped your chin and tugged you towards him, kissing you messily again.
His tongue grazed your teeth, tracing the roof of your mouth as you lapped at him just as eagerly. Desire was burning inside of you as he slowly pulled away, eyes still darkened with pleasure.
“That was nice,” he smirked as he sat up, leaving you to adjust your panties and your dress. His face was all red, drenched with sweat, “I like when you can shut up and put that mouth to use.” He teased, making you smirk as you sat up on your elbows.
“Me too,” you told him in a matter of fact way, “I think you might be a giver.” You added playfully, grinning at the way he snorted. Right. As if.
Though it was true that he was ravenous, greedy when he got his hands on you. Whether he meant to or not, you always came with him. You couldn’t say that about any of the other men that you had been with.
He always wanted you, whether you were in a good mood or not. He wanted you when you were on your period and grouchy, when you were happy because you got to skip Bible study again and drink with him in the back of his truck.
And even though you were nothing, you’d never been so intimate with someone else before. So attached. It was stupid, but you’d really grown to savor the time that you spent with him.
But under no circumstances had you grown feelings for him. Not at all.
You two were just having fun. That was it. You felt less lonely when you were around him, and you thought that he felt the same. It wasn’t always just sex. Sometimes he’d just come up and hug you from behind, hold your waist and tug you close. There were lots of make out sessions that went nowhere, like he just wanted to feel your lips against his own.
On top of that Gator had been smuggling you birth control for a while now, apparently just as concerned with an accident happening. Though it brought little relief to you. You tracked your period like a maniac, filling with dread anytime it was even slightly late. He was terrible at wearing condoms, and you were bad about reminding him.
You never asked if he was seeing anyone else, but you had a feeling he did on the nights that he returned from work late. An ugly feeling always spread inside of you, but it wasn’t jealousy. And it wasn’t because you only wanted him to yourself. It just made you feel undesirable, like he’d get bored of you.
Which was ridiculous to feel. You knew that, so you just buried it. You didn’t want to think about it, to try and think about what it might mean.
Gator meant nothing to you. That was all you’d let yourself feel.
“You know, you look good when you’re not so hungover all the time,” Gator dragged you from your thoughts, making you roll your eyes at his backhanded comment, “you’re pretty damn pretty.”
He was right though. You hadn’t been drinking as heavily as you once had. You didn’t want to give credit to him, but being around him certainly fixed some of the issues. Specifically the loneliness that you were tired of dealing with.
“Thanks,” you threw a piece of hay in his direction, though it didn’t make it very far, “you’re pretty damn pretty yourself.” He looked at you disgruntled, brows furrowed together.
“I can’t be pretty.” You raised your brows, amused at the way he defended himself.
“Why?” You were teasing him, knowing fully well why he’d grown so offended.
“Because I’m not-,” he stalled for a moment, cheeks burning, “I’m a man. I’m not pretty.” You giggled at that, reaching up to cup his cheek softly even though he was still sending you a disgruntled look.
“You’re right. You’re handsome. That’s my bad.” You added, brushing your thumb across his warm skin gently.
He flicked his eyes across your features as he observed you, like he couldn’t quite decide where he wanted to look. You were interested in the feel of his skin against yours, how he slowly flicked his tongue out to lick his bottom lip.
You stayed like that for a moment before he pulled away, grumbling something about his shoe as he pretended to fix it. You nodded as you stood, knowing the real reason. He couldn’t let anyone get close, not that close anyways.
“I should get back,” you told him, brushing hay from your skin, clothes and hair. He’d really made a mess of you this afternoon, “I gotta help with dinner. God forbid you men miss a meal.” You teased, making him laugh as he adjusted your sock up on your ankle.
His fingers were soft, almost delicate as he did so. The way he peered up at you made your heart throb, butterflies flapping in your stomach.
Oh God. You hated the way he made you feel. You hated how alive you felt at the moment, like nothing else mattered.
You were so fucked. You might actually care for him.
“Better get to work then,” he winked, teasing you as he stood, “better than sitting around and doing nothing.” He teased as he roughly smacked your ass, making you help as you shot a glare at him.
You couldn’t fight the smile you were bearing as you walked back to the house, feeling light and airy as a jittery sensation grew inside of you. You glanced over your shoulder, stealing one last look at him before you were inside.
“What are you smiling for?” Susan pestered you as soon as your foot was inside, instantly making your demeanor change.
“Just thinking,” you lied softly, shrugging your shoulders, “are you going somewhere?” You questioned as you looked at the bags that were near the door. Roy didn’t have anything coming up that you were aware of.
“Just a little trip. We’ll be gone for two days,” she smiled at you, “I spoke to Jeremiah’s mom, and he’s going to pick you up tonight at seven. I think it would be good for you two to spend more time with one another.”
“While you’re gone?” That surprised you.
“Jeremiah is a good man. Roy trusts him,” her answer almost made you roll your eyes. Almost, “I think it would be good for both of you.”
“Okay,” you bit down on your bottom lip, knowing there was no point in arguing with her, “sounds good. I’ll make sure I’m ready then.”
The thought of having the house alone with Gator and not being able to be around him devastated you, but you weren’t sure what to do about it. You wouldn’t dare risk upsetting Roy over it. That’s all you needed was for him to put his hands on you again.
You’d go, but you wouldn’t like it. You’d be thinking of Gator the entire time, wondering what it would be like to be on date with him.
A sight left you as you realized you’d dug yourself into a deeper hole than you had expected.
-
Jeremiah didn’t talk a lot. Barely at all. He was worse than Gator, usually offering little mumbles or grumbling in agreement. Every question you asked was answered with one word, and he never tried to ask you anything in return.
It was frustrating.
Gator was hard to open up, but he at least spoke to you. You guys talked about things, even if they weren’t deep and interesting. Speaking to Jeremiah was like speaking to a wall.
A very handsome wall, but a wall nonetheless. Not to mention that he never made a move. You weren’t quite sure if he was into you or not.
You could see why Roy liked him so much. He followed his preachings like no other. He was respectful; the dictionary definition of a gentleman.
Yet he couldn’t hold your hand. Something about how it would lead him to temptation.
“I wanted to talk about us,” Jeremiah finally spoke a full sentence, surprising you, “about furthering our relationship.” A rock formed in your stomach as dread filled you, your throat growing dry as you tried to think of anything to avoid that conversation.
You were just about to answer when Gator walked in, a flock of his friends behind him. They were loud and boisterous, a bunch of assholes.
Yet your heart still flipped inside of your chest.
“Well, well, well,” Gator drew out as he pressed his lips together, huffing as he looked between the two of you, “what’ve we got here?” He waltzed his way up towards your table, hands on his hips as he gave you both an annoying smirk.
He looked handsome in his uniform, even though he was clearly done with his shift for the day. Your eyes briefly lingered at the way his shirt hugged his biceps, how snug his thigh holster was on his body.
“What are you doing here?” You challenged instead, doing your best to keep from looking at him for too long. Your pulse was quickening, stomach flipping as butterflies danced around in your tummy. You weren’t supposed to feel this way, not for him. Yet the giddy expression only grew as he turned towards you.
“Came to see what you two were up to,” he drew out lazily, “make sure you weren’t makin’ a tramp of yourself.” You gasped as he leaned forward to snap your bra strap against your shoulder, eyes widening.
“She’s a lady, she’d never do that.” Jeremiah was quick to defend, brows furrowed together. He looked confused, and you didn’t blame him. Gator should not be touching you like that out in public.
He was being reckless.
“She’s a lady,” Gator mocked as he laughed, looking over his shoulder at his friends, “right, well. You two look like you’re having fun. S’that the Bible?” He pouted his lips out, mocking the two of you. You could feel your insides burning, both of you aware that you didn’t have a choice.
“We’re studying.” You responded through gritted teeth, reading the jealousy all over his expression. None of this was your fault.
“You do like to spend quite a lot of time on your knees.” Humiliation filled you as you quickly found a way to defend yourself, horrified that he would call you out in such a manner.
“Praying,” you clarified as everything inside of you burned, “I’m sorry, Jeremiah. Ignore him.”
“A word.” Gator looked at you dryly, hazel eyes locked on yours. You sighed, but you were already scooting out of the booth, desperate to make Gator shut his mouth.
“You’re not going to ask?” That stopped you, made Gator turn towards him as well. You were speaking before he could say something else stupid.
“Can I be excused for a moment.” Gator was glowering at Jeremiah the entire time, brows furrowed together in disbelief as you turned your attention to Jeremiah. He contemplated for a moment, looking between the two of you.
“Sure.”
You practically dragged Gator down the hallway, fully prepared to give him a piece of your mind. How dare he do that to you, cause a scene when he had no right to do so. It wasn’t like you wanted to be here, like you had any choice in the manner.
You were going to scream.
“That loser is a total asshole, did you hear him? He thinks you’re his property.” You held your hands out, in disbelief to the frustration on Gator’s face. The anger in his tone. He was gesturing back towards the table, cheeks flushed with rage.
“Is that any different than what you think?” You asked him incredulously, shaking your head in disbelief. He turned towards you, fully facing you.
“You are mine.” The step forward he took was dangerous. He was too close, and you were too close to home; too many eyes and ears that would run back to Roy.
Though his words made your heart thump to the beat of his, you knew that you couldn’t play along right now. Not at the moment.
“Stop,” you sighed deeply, “look I think my mom’s suspicious. I don’t know, she’s worried I’m spending too much time with you.” You were scared and he was the only one that would really understand.
“That doesn’t mean anything.” He shrugged his shoulders, pretending like it was no big deal. You knew he was thinking the same thing, however.
“Or it could mean something.” You both knew it to be true, but he didn’t even act bothered.
“It doesn’t.”
“They want me to be with Jeremiah.” That’s what you were supposed to do. You needed to listen, to be good for your mother.
To avoid Roy and his gross manners.
“So be with him.” Gator reached out to touch your fingers softly, thumb tracing across your skin. Electricity spread through you, warming your body.
“I can’t be with him if you’re making comments like that.” You were whispering now, keeping your voice low as a woman walked past to go to the bathroom.
“I was just bored and wanted to see what you were doin’.” His lips were slightly pouted out, shoulders shrugging as he did his best to keep from throwing a tantrum. You shook your head, biting down on your bottom lip.
“You’re so full of shit.” His fingers were burning against yours as you shook your head, giving him a knowing look. He grinned from ear to ear.
“Looks like you were about to fall asleep,” he hummed, “why don’t you ditch him?” He was even closer now, dragging his fingers across your neck. You could feel goosebumps forming, your knees growing weak.
“Stop.” It was a weak attempt to stop him. You weren’t sure you wanted to.
“C’mon, that loser can’t take care of you,” he encouraged softly, squeezing your earlobe softly, “let me make you feel good. Just for a few minutes, then I’ll leave you alone.”
“You better swear it.” You told him seriously, unable to help yourself as your hands fell to his chest. It was risky, far too risky.
But part of you didn’t care. You just wanted him, and to feel alive.
You stumbled backwards as Gator walked you outside, his hands heavy on your sides as the heavy door slammed shut behind the two of you. The dark sky gave you a cover as he pushed you up against the wall, his lips finding yours instantly.
A moan slipped free as you tasted the desperation on his tongue, your fingers tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck as you pressed yourself up against him. He kissed you deeply, passionately as all of your worries and concerns slipped away.
“Gator,” you whispered against his mouth, bottom lip dragging against his, “you’re going to get us in trouble.” You huffed as he dragged his hands over your boobs, squeezing as you moaned again. You could feel the tension building between the two of you, your clit throbbing as you rocked yourself up against him.
“So?” he groaned as he kissed down your neck, lips smooth on your skin as you let your head fall back against the wall, “don’t fucking care anymore. You’re mine, don’t you forget that.” His teeth dug into your skin as you yelped in surprise, his tongue quickly licking away the mark that he’d left.
God did you want to stay, but you also knew better. You knew that this would be the reason you got caught. It took everything in you to slowly pull him away, to ignore the way your heart was twisting in agony as he shot you a look of disbelief.
You walked back inside without another word, pausing to quickly adjust yourself before walking back to the booth. You were sure you looked a mess, flustered. There was no way around that, but you’d been gone long enough.
“You alright?” Jeremiah was looking at you curiously as you returned, still sipping on the milkshake he’d ordered some time ago.
“Yeah, he’s just being a jerk. Where were we?” You sat as you crossed your legs, trying not to turn to watch Gator as he entered the room again. You could see him in the corner of your eye, but he was refusing to look at you.
“I was talking about us.” Us. Right. You and Jeremiah. You nodded your head quickly, taking a big sip from your Coke.
“Right,” you nodded your head, “taking a step further. Do you want to like be boyfriend and girlfriend then?” You rambled off nervously, your tongue heavy from the words that formed. You didn’t want to think about that.
Jeremiah laughed, which startled you for a moment. He looked at you like you were silly, far too naive to understand what he was suggesting. Maybe you were.
“Something like that. I know it’s only been a short time, but my parents were together for a week before they got married,” he added as you felt your eyes snap up towards him, blinking slowly as you absorbed his words, “I’m asking for your hand in marriage. I already spoke to your parents and they agreed.”
You were at a loss for words, unable to fully speak or blink as you continued to stare at him. Marriage? They wanted you to marry him right now? This soon?
“This ring has been in my family for generations and I thought it would look nice on you.” He presented it to you. A thick band and an even bigger diamond. It was gorgeous, but it wasn’t you.
Jeremiah was not who you wanted to marry.
Everything that you’d eaten was threatening to come back up, your mind swirling in disbelief as you gripped a hold of the table tightly. You hadn’t even agreed, yet he was acting like it was already settled.
Like everyone had authority over your life except for you.
“I need to think about it,” you blurted out at once, eyes wide, “I mean, it’s a lot. I need to pray to God about it-, to help guide me.” You were lying now, but you didn’t know what else to do.
“I can pray with you.” Jeremiah spoke like that would fix everything. You pressed your lips together, knowing that it would solve nothing.
“I appreciate it, but I’d rather you pray for me. It’s a lot to think about.” If you were to pray, you’d be praying for a way out of this. Not for anything else that he wanted you to do.
“It shouldn’t be.” He sounded like Roy as he spoke, which made you feel even sicker. You didn’t want to be with someone like Roy.
“I want to make sure that God is happy with my decisions on who I am spending the rest of my life with.” You weren’t even sure if you wanted to marry anyone. What was wrong with wanting to be on your own? To find yourself?
“I suppose that makes sense.” Jeremiah nodded his head as you turned your gaze to where Gator was at with his friends, a piece of your heart snipping away as you noticed him talking to a pretty blonde.
It was quiet for a moment as you played with your fingers, bouncing your leg up and down in an annoying manner. You were stressed as you tried to figure a way out of this.
“You’ll let me know tomorrow?” Jeremiah suggested, looking at you softly. You pressed your lips together, thinking about it for a moment.
Tomorrow.
“Yes,” you breathed out, “yeah. I should go. I mean I had such a fun time, but it’s getting late.” You needed to get out of here, to go away before you ended up doing something stupid.
“You’re right.” He nodded as he slowly gathered his things, but you didn’t want to be around him anymore. Not after what had just happened. The desire to run was high, and you weren’t sure you could stop yourself from doing so.
“I can get a ride with Gator,” you told him softly, glancing at where he had settled himself up at the bar, “I don’t want you to waste the gas.” It was a lame excuse, and he must’ve realized that too by the dry look he sent you.
“I don’t mind.”
Your feet felt as if cement bricks were attached to them as you walked towards his truck, following him with your head down. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to keep yourself as small as possible as you stared out the window and wondered what would come of your life.
Would you end up like your mom? Like Gator’s mom? Maybe you would be happy eventually, that you could pretend like some of the other women that you knew. There were too many unknowns, too many possibilities that terrified you.
Then you wondered about what Gator would think. You were sure he’d been jealous earlier, hurt that you’d pushed him away. Would he really care, or would he pretend like you meant nothing?
It was ridiculous to think that he could save you, but that was exactly what you wanted. You knew you sounded ridiculous at the moment, that you were just being dramatic. There was nothing wrong with Jeremiah. He was nice, handsome. You were lucky compared to most women that you knew.
The worst thing was that you knew you had no choice. None at all. It didn’t matter if you said no, you’d have to deal with Roy then. Jeremiah was the safest choice, whether you wanted him or not.
Then again, maybe you could run. Disappear. Maybe there was a chance you could make it.
Maybe, just maybe there was a chance you could make it with someone else too. That’s all you could think about that night as you held onto yourself, tossing and turning, wishing you were lying in his bed instead as the uncomfortable truth settled over you.
You were on edge the next morning, exhausted from the way you hadn’t been able to sleep at all. The entire night you tossed and turned, unable to sleep as you worried about what your future would consist of. You tried to make peace, to convince yourself that you’d be alright.
There was no way that you would be.
Gator remained on your mind the entire time as you thought about how he’d react, what he’d do. You wanted him to care, but then again you knew it would be better if he didn’t.
Still, you weren’t quite sure how to tell him. So instead you were giving everyone the cold shoulder, pouting as you hid in the loft of the barn. It was quiet up here, and you liked being alone.
You hadn’t heard him come back last night, so you had a feeling that he’d gone home with someone else. Or at least your jealousy was convincing you of that. You had no idea what he’d actually done.
But you were still upset.
“What’re you doing?” Gator sighed as he sat in front of you, stretching his legs out and leaning back. He cocked his eyebrows, tilting his head as you shrugged your shoulders.
“Nothing.” You hated the way the butterflies were beating roughly in your tummy, how you were drawn to him even when you didn’t want to be. You wondered if he felt the same way.
“Doesn’t look like nothing.” He snorted, tapping the side of his boot against your knee softly. You exhaled roughly.
“I just want to be alone.” It was a lame excuse and did nothing to make you feel better, but everything was too complicated right now. You didn’t know how to face him.
“Sure you do.” He shifted again, matching the way you were sitting as he scooted closer to you. The smell of his cologne hit you, his warmth dancing between the two of you.
You two sat in silence for the longest time as you continued to twist hay back and forth between your fingers, wishing that you had the ability to communicate with him. He was watching you just as curiously, like he was really invested with what was wrong with you.
Your breath caught in your lungs as he leaned forward, gently cupping your face as he tugged you towards him. Despite your complicated feelings you found yourself melting against him, missing the sensation of him against you.
It felt ridiculous to admit to yourself that you were in love with him. How could you be? You didn’t know anything about love, nor did Gator.
Yet when you were kissing him all of your worries slid away. You weren’t sad and lonely. No, you were desperate for him. Desperate to feel and become a part of him. Something about his lips on yours just felt right, felt like you were meant to be there.
His thumbs were dragging across your cheeks gently as he kissed you deeper, though softly. You weren’t used to being kissed this gently, like you were delicate. Special.
You pulled away quickly, chest rising and falling as your head fell against his. He was still cradling you in the same gentle manner, holding you close as you tried not to fall apart against him. All of the emotions rose at once, crashing into you as you felt more comfortable than you had ever before.
“What are you thinking about?” Gator mumbled softly, watching you intensely as one hand fell to your chest. He rested his palm across your heart, like he was confirming that you were still with him.
You admired the soft freckles on his nose, the way the green and brown mingled in his eyes. You couldn’t believe that someone had once looked in those eyes and still decided to leave him. He was a mess, but in some way he felt like your mess.
Maybe he was different than you thought he was. And just maybe, you were the one that could fix the broken parts of him.
“Jeremiah asked me to marry him.” You blurted out suddenly, eyes wide as he peered at you in disbelief.
Gator froze for a moment, lips parting in surprise as he slowly processed what you had said. You could see it in the way he observed you, how his lips parted as his brows furrowed together. He looked just as stunned as you had last night.
“When is it?” He didn’t ask what you had said, if you had agreed or not. Like he already knew what your answer would be.
“I haven’t answered him yet.” You twisted the hay tighter between your fingers, frowning at the way he stiffened.
“What?” he looked at you incredulously, “why not? You planning for someone else?” His tone grew harsh, slightly louder as you blinked in surprise.
“I don’t know if I want to marry him.” That was a good enough reason for you. If you didn’t want to marry him, you didn’t have to. It was as simple as that.
“Who else is goin’ to marry you?” He laughed like you were crazy to even consider saying no, like there was no one else out there for you.
That really bothered you. He was acting like there was nothing else for you, like nobody else would ever be interested.
Like he wasn’t in love with you.
You stared for a long moment as his features became tighter, stiffer as the anger grew on his expression. If he wanted to be angry that was fine, but it wasn’t your fault. None of this was your fault.
“I’m not marrying you,” he snorted, making little pieces of your heart chip, “that’s not-, that’s not what this is. You know that.” He was looking at you in surprise, shaking his head as he pulled away from you.
“I didn’t say anything.” You were quick to defend yourself, trying to ignore the pain that was shooting through your heart.
“Yeah but your face tells a different fucking story.” A hard look settled over his features as he gave his head a little shake, looking at you like you were a diseased animal. You didn’t understand.
“You think I should marry him then?” You were trying to change the topic, to conceal what you were really feeling. You’d never felt so exposed before.
“Yeah.” Gator continued to stare at you, like he’d never seen you before. You paused for a moment, brows furrowing together.
“There’s no protests? No worries or anything else?” Your voice shook as you spoke, raw with emotions as you pulled your fingers into a tight fist. You weren’t going to cry in front of him. You wouldn’t belittle yourself for getting your emotions twisted and confused.
“No,” he pressed his lips into a frown, eyebrow raising, “why would there be?” You were both silent for the longest time, the sound of his rough breaths being the only thing to fill your ears.
Fuck.
“I don’t know.” You shook your head, pretending like you were just lost. That was it. This had nothing to do with Gator. If you continue to say that, it might become true.
“I mean you better marry him before you get too old. He doesn’t need a used and old wife.” He twisted his features up in disgust as he looked at you, revolted as if he couldn’t stand the sight of you.
You looked at him in disbelief, lips parting as you did your best to keep your heart from continuing to bleed in your chest. His words were sharp and hateful, affecting you in a way that he’d never really been able to do before. All of the lingering shame and guilt rushed at you, nearly drowning you.
“What about you? Your poor wife is going to have to deal with you.” You shot back, hating how weak you sounded at the moment.
“Yeah but it’s different for me. You’re the one that’s supposed to be pure and all that bullshit.” He gestured towards all of you, like you’d done something wrong.
“You seemed pretty fucking butthurt last night when I pushed you away.” You reminded him harshly, angry at yourself for feeling such softness for him.
Gator was silent for a long moment, like he was considering your words. He seemed just as angry as you were, a cruel reminder as to why this would never work. You were both too hurt, too traumatized to try and work this out with one another.
“It’s not meant to be, wasn’t ever supposed to happen,” he mumbled, “so that’s it.” He shrugged his shoulders dramatically, like it was no big deal.
You could deal with him not wanting to be with you. You knew who Gator was, what he was like. He didn’t do relationships.
Despite all of that you still needed him. You relied on him. You could speak to him freely, and you couldn’t lose that. Not now.
“I don’t want to marry him.” You whispered softly. Your heart was breaking in your chest, because you knew that if you were to marry someone it would only be one person.
And that wasn’t Jeremiah.
“You don’t have a choice,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “marriage isn’t that big of a deal.” He couldn’t look you in the eye.
“Easy for you to say.” You’d be a housemaid, forced to pop out children and pretend like everything was perfect.
Maybe that’s not the life you wanted.
“Hey at least you get out of this shit hole, that’s what you wanted right?” Gator’s tone was snarky as he watched you, lip slightly curled up. You shook your head in surprise, not understanding why he was so upset with you.
“Not like this.” You’d love to get out, but you didn’t want to marry someone that blindly followed Roy. You would end up just like your mother.
“Maybe if you stopped being such a whiny bitch you’d be happy.” You gasped at his words, blinking like you’d been hurt. The knife he’d dug into your heart was pressed deeper, twisting as you blinked in surprise.
“You’re such a jerk.” You told him honestly as you took a step back, slightly wondering what you’d seen in him. How had you let yourself fall for someone like him?
“Get used to it.” He seethed, looking at you angrily.
“You know, I thought you might be different. I thought I was wrong about you.” You told him gently, looking up at his hazel eyes.
Gator continued to scan his eyes across his features, observing you closely as you shook your head. This was probably his plan all along; to ruin you and leave you scrambling to pick up the pieces of yourself.
“... but I was wrong. You can’t be fixed.” He couldn’t. You didn’t have the energy to do so, the patience.
And maybe that was why his ex had left him. You could see why, but it hurt to see the shock in his eyes before he quickly shook it away.
“I don’t need to be fucking fixed. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just the way that I am.” He gestured towards himself roughly, close to your face as he argued back with you.
“But you can be better.” You answered softly, frowning at the way he scoffed. He was better than this, and he knew it too. He was too damn stubborn, stuck in his own bubble.
“I told you this was nothing. You mean nothing to me, you were just easy.” Gator looked you up and down in disgust, like he’d gotten everything he’d needed from him.
That really hurt.
“I hate you.” You couldn’t even snap at him, your throat raw as you took another step back. The distance between the two of you grew bigger and bigger.
“I know.”
“No, I mean it. I don’t want anything to do with you. You’re disgusting.” You continued on, wanting him to hurt just as bad as you were. He laughed.
“I’m disgusting? You’re the one that’s spreading your legs for your brother. I wonder what Jeremiah would think of that?” He tugged at your dress, making you even angrier before you pushed him away.
You walked down the ladder quickly, avoiding his gaze as you searched for the quickest way out of the barn. You didn’t want to be with him anymore. Not one more second.
You couldn’t handle it.
“Bye bye.” Gator mocked you as you did your best to keep your composure, hiding your sniffles until you were out of the barn and racing towards the house. This wasn’t fair. Not one bit of it.
You lingered in your room afterwards, trying to ignore the feelings that were simmering in your chest. You felt uncomfortable, heavy. There was shame burning inside of you, your heart thumping as you wondered why you’d even gotten yourself into this in the first place.
Even though you hated to admit it, he was right in some way. You couldn’t be picky. It was Jeremiah or some other creep and that’s just how it had to be.
You didn’t have to be happy about it, but you did have to accept it. Even though you didn’t want to.
Burying your distraught did nothing to help as you felt pieces of your heart falling to the floor, breaking into little pieces as you replayed the way he said he didn’t care about you. That there was nothing to keep you from marrying Jeremiah.
You felt stupid, so fucking stupid. Everything hurt so badly, so deeply that you thought you’d be sick to your stomach. Tears fell until you had nothing else to give, nothing else to feel.
Part of you wanted him to see what he’d done to you, but the smarter half knew that you’d be stupid to do so. Someone would ask too many questions, notice too many things. You had to pretend like you were fine, like you were normal.
Like you didn’t hate that you’d met Gator.
Dinner was painful as you sat across from Gator, his jaw clenched and irritation settling between his arched brows. The annoyance was clear on his expression as he stabbed angrily at his food, offering snide comments back and forth. You didn’t know why you even sat there with him, but you did. You took it all too, just desperate to be near him.
It was pathetic.
You’d finally had enough when he started drinking, annoying you even further as you disappeared upstairs. You’d worry about the dishes later, not having the patience to do them at the moment.
Once you were showered and in your nightgown you sat on your bed criss crossed, a stuffed frog squished between your arms as you stared at your phone. You knew that you needed to call Jeremiah, but you didn’t want to.
You didn’t want to marry him.
Even though you’d fought with Gator earlier, it still felt wrong to do. Maybe it was your own fault for saying that you felt nothing for him. You’d been dumb. You’d fallen for someone who would never care for you in that manner.
Gator was a player. He didn’t care about your heart, or anyone else's. He broke them. You were just stupid to think that you might be the exception, that you could be different.
Why did you have to let him in?
Another deep sigh left you as you reached for your phone again, retyping the message before deleting it again. Then you tried to think on the bright side. You’d never have to see Roy again, you’d live somewhere else.
But then you wouldn’t see Gator. Was that what you really wanted?
A groan left you as you fell face first into your pillows, agony filling you as your shoulders shook for a moment. You were too exhausted to cry, too overwhelmed even though that’s what you really wanted to do.
Nothing came forth.
You shifted at the sound of knocking at your door, rough and unsteady. Your feet were quick to touch the floor as you stood, knowing that it couldn’t be Roy or Susan since it was so late into the night. They had to leave early in the morning, so there was no way it was them.
Gator.
The doorknob was cool against your fingertips as you inhaled sharply, heart thumping in your chest as you pulled the door open to meet his distraught expression.
His hair was messy across his forehead, framing his face as he leaned lazily against the door. His cheeks were flushed, brows furrowed tightly together and eyes glazed over. His lips were slick with whatever he’d been drinking, which you figured wasn’t water.
“What do you want?” You asked him, raising your eyebrows as you crossed your arms over your chest. He snorted.
“M’came to see ya.” His words were slurred, lips curling into a little amused grin.
“Why are you drinking?” You were exasperated as you glanced down the hallway, not wanting to have to explain this to anyone. It was probably best that you didn’t get seen around each other for a while.
“Because I can. I’m the law.” He snorted as he shrugged his shoulders, giving you a bratty look. You frowned.
“What’s with the fucking ‘tude?” You gestured towards him, not appreciating the way he took a step forward.
“You,” he snapped as he stepped towards you, “you’re the reason I’m like this.” Your brows furrowed in disbelief as he stepped inside, acting like he owned the place.
“What did I do? I didn’t do anything.” You reminded him, tone softening as you peered at the heavy way he was observing you. Analyzing you. You frowned.
“You’re just-, you’re you.” He gestured towards all of you, slurring over his words as you sighed deeply. You didn’t want to fight. You were exhausted. Whatever he was wanting, you couldn’t give to him.
“You can’t be in here. You need to leave. Now.” You spoke firmly this time, slightly annoyed at the way he laughed at you.
“Looks soft.” Gator mumbled as he strolled to your bed, letting himself plop onto your bed. Stuffed animals fell off, the mattress creaking underneath his weight as he groaned loudly.
You swore to God that if he vomited-,
“Listen, I can’t do this,” you told him seriously, “if I’m marrying Jeremiah then we need to stop whatever this is. Especially before anyone else starts to suspect that there’s something going on.” And if he didn’t love you. It was time to end it.
Even if that made your stomach, your heart clenching tightly in agony.
“You’re the only one that’s worryin’.” He pressed his lips together as he exhaled dramatically, resting his hands behind his head. You shook your head quickly, feeling like he was ignoring you on purpose and you didn’t want anything to do with his tantrum at the moment.
“My mom’s watching,” you hissed quickly, “and if she’s worried about it then that means your dad is too. I’m not dealing with him.” You answered quickly, fear beginning to creep in. You could only imagine what sort of sick things he’d conjure up, how he’d make a show out of both of you.
“He woulda said somethin’ by now.” Gator hummed as he sat up on his elbows, his long legs kicked out in front of him. Any other time you’d be comforted by the look on his features, how comforted he looked at the moment.
“You need to go.” Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, beginning to tug him forward.
He didn’t budge. In fact, he only moved backwards as he laid across your bed again.
“Don’t wanna.” He closed his eyes for good measure, almost like he was pretending to sleep.
“Gator, I'm serious.” You knew that Roy and your mother were gone, but that didn’t mean anything to you at the moment. It was a distraction, a way to protect yourself from hurting even more.
“Oh Gator, I’m so serious.” He mocked, making his pitch higher as he stared at you dryly. You were so frustrated you could scream.
“I don’t sound like that.” It was petty, he was being petty but you still felt the need to defend yourself.
“You kinda do.” His lips curled into a lazy grin as he peered at you, bouncing his foot up and down.
“Knock it off.” You peered over your shoulder, beginning to freak yourself out. You just needed the confirmation that the two of you really were alone.
“You a married woman yet?” Gator changed the subject as he sat all the way up this time, groaning as his hair fell across his face.
Even now, you hated how handsome he looked. Though you could see the cracks forming in him, the bags under his eyes and the vulnerability in his expression.
“Why do you care?” you were even angrier now, “I want you to go. Get out of here.” You pointed towards the door, trying to keep yourself from trembling as his hazel eyes locked on yours. They were softer than usual, gentle. You felt like you were yelling at someone else, someone innocent.
“Don’t be like that.” He pouted his lips out, dark hair framing his features as he tapped his clothed foot against yours gently. You shook your head as something heavy fell on top of your chest, squeezing the air from your lungs.
“Leave.” This was the only way to protect yourself, to ensure that you didn’t get hurt. You couldn’t worry about him at the moment. He was self sabotaging, and that wasn’t your fault.
You wouldn’t let him drag you into his own misery. Not this time. If there was a chance to make yourself whole again, you were going to take it.
Even if it meant running from Jeremiah and his family when you got the chance.
“I just wanna talk.” Gator stared up at you, a pleading look in his soft eyes. Those eyes that you adored. Everything inside of you was twisted as your shoulders slowly fell, giving up on pushing him away.
“No,” you sighed as you sat down on the edge of the bed, “I haven’t told him yet.” You couldn’t tell him why. Not when he was so twisted up about you possibly catching feelings for him.
You were just stuck.
An unreadable look crossed his eyes as he observed you, features hardening and then relaxing as he shifted so he was facing you fully. His knee brushed against your thigh as he reached out, taking your hand in his.
You could tell by the way he was holding you that he didn’t know how to be gentle, as his grip was too loose to fully hold onto you. Still, that did nothing to stop the electricity that raced up the length of your arm and straight to your heart.
“Tell him no.” His tone was firm, so sure that you felt everything inside you freeze for a moment. You had to have heard him wrong.
“What?” A small exhale left you as your tone shook, sure that you were dreaming. He wouldn’t ask that of you.
Though something by the way he watched you told you that you’d heard him correctly, that he meant what he’d said.
“You heard me, tell him no.” Gator stared at you firmly, nodding his head like he was trying to encourage you. You shook your head softly.
“What about Roy?” Even if you wanted to be with him, if you took the risk, there was no way that you two could make it out together. Not alive anyways.
“We’ll figure something out.” His fingers brushed against your palm slowly as he stared down at your hand, ignoring your gaze. You knew that he was thinking the same thing that you were.
“Why should I tell him no?” Your heart was hammering harshly inside of your chest as you asked what was really bugging you. You wanted to ensure that this was real, that he really meant what he’d said.
Gator was silent for the longest time as he continued to trace your hand, lips pressed together as a thoughtful look filled his eyes. He sighed as he looked up at you several times, then back at your hand like he was struggling to form the right thing to say.
“You know why,” he grumbled, “you’re a pain in my ass but-,” he inhaled deeply, “you’re not bad to have around.” He mumbled at last, pressing his fingertips together as he shrugged his shoulders. You laughed awkwardly, unsure if you should be flattered or not.
“That’s not a good enough reason.” You told him seriously, observing the crisis that grew on his features. He may not be good with his words, but you weren’t going to let him just get away with this. Not so easily.
“I mean like-, shit,” Gator sat up to push his fingers through his hair, “I’m bad at this, alright? I don’t know what you want me to fuckin’ say.” A frustrated look settled on his features as you shrugged this time.
“I don’t know either.” You turned it back towards him, trying to keep yourself strong. If he wanted to be with you, you needed to really know.
Gator took your chin in his hands softly, cradling you like you might break into a million different pieces. He held onto you like he was scared, desperation lingering in his eyes as he gently brushed his thumbs across your smooth skin.
“You’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he mumbled softly, “s’crazy about you, and I want you to be mine.” It wasn’t the love confession that you would’ve pictured when you were younger, but it was something.
It was Gator.
“Do you?” Your heart was hammering roughly inside of your chest as you stared at him, trembling underneath his touch. This was scary. Every single relationship that you’d witnessed in your life had never ended well. Not once. Every single one of them had burned beyond repair.
You really weren’t sure you knew how to love, or how to be in a relationship that was healthy. Gator certainly didn’t, but maybe that’s why the two of you could work.
“Wanna take care of ya, make ya happy,” his voice was raspy as he brushed his nose against yours, “treat you the way you deserve.” You could smell the alcohol on his breath, mingling with the vape he’d been smoking.
You inhaled sharply.
“Then why are you so mean?” His touch was comforting as you melted against him, wishing you knew why he did those things. Then again, you didn’t know why you acted the way you did either. Maybe neither of you could help it.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled softly, “I’ll be better. I swear it.” His promise was heavy, waiting for your ultimatum as his lips ghosted over yours.
You wanted to believe him, you really did, but you weren’t sure. You knew how he was. By tomorrow morning he might not want you again.
Still you found yourself leaning up to capture his lips slowly against his, kissing him deeply as you wrapped your fingers around his wrist. He tasted like everything you’d ever wanted, everything you had as his grip tightened across your jaw.
A little sigh of relief left him as you let your fingers dance across his arms, squeezing at his shoulders as you tried to savor the way he felt against you. This would either be the last time you had him, or the first time that he’d be officially yours.
“I’ve done a lot of bad things,” he mumbled softly, those cracks of vulnerability showing across his features, “but not you. Never you.” Gator promised, giving you a reassuring nod as he wiped at your cheek. It was then that you realized you were crying, overcome with your own emotions once again.
“Sorry,” you pulled away, half expecting him to recoil as you collected yourself, “stupid. I’m just-, we’re going to get caught. Something bad will happen. This won’t work.” You told him firmly, hating that you were the one that had to break the little bubble. You wanted it to work, but you were realistic.
And so was he.
“I don’t want to live without you,” he mumbled as he leaned in again, tugging you close, “c’mon don’t make me beg.”
“I like when you beg.” You shared a laugh with him, heart beating to the same rhythm as his was. He continued to drag his fingers across your skin as he observed you, like he was trying to memorize the look on your face.
“Stay with me.” Gator mumbled at last, making your stomach flip. You pressed a little smile to your lips, nodding your head slowly.
It was messy, there was no doubt about that, but you could figure out a way to make it work. You trusted him, trusted that he wasn’t going to lead you astray.
So sorry for the big delay but I've been dealing with severe gallbladder pains the past two weeks and finally got it removed, so hopefully I will be feeling better soon! I hope the wait was worth it, hoping to have the next one out soon!! <3
The blanket sat at the bottom of the couch, kicked away from the warmth that had spread over you too intensely. There were chills across your skin, but not due to the AC working in overtime. No, this had to do with your nerves pulsing.
Gator had been ignoring you. You hadn’t thought it was possible, but it was like he wanted nothing to do to you. He grumbled when he walked past you, barely acknowledged the way you teased him and didn’t give you an opportunity to approach.
You had a feeling you’d given him exactly what he had wanted, and now he no longer needed you. Just like everyone else, you were disposable.
And what really sucked was how much lonelier you felt. For the first time you realized that Gator was the only one that didn’t try and ignore you, didn’t criticize you or purposely make you feel bad.
It was late as you watched the images dance across the screen, though you weren’t paying too much attention. Your mind was racing, your body pulsing as you took another drink from your water bottle. You weren’t supposed to be up this late, but you couldn’t lie in your bed. Not without memories rushing forward, the lustful sensation crushing you in an overbearing way.
You should hate Gator, you really should. And you should be disgusted, but you weren’t. Not really. In fact, you were craving him. The desire to grab his attention was even worse, to make him want you again.
Stupid asshole.
The pillow was soft underneath your back as you shifted again, linking your fingers together as you shifted once again. There was an itch deep inside of you that you couldn’t reach, something that was becoming impossible to ignore.
Your heart lurched inside of your chest at the sound of the front door opening and closing, the stomping of boots following behind. You cowered into the cushions, fearful that Roy was about to lash into you.
Instead you met Gator’s curious hazel eyes, the way his brows were furrowed together as his pink lips parted in surprise. Instantly your stomach twisted, heart flopping roughly inside of your chest.
“What happened to your face?” The words tumbled free without a second thought as you shifted forward, looking at him in surprise.
The flashing from the TV screen lit up the right side of his face, right where you could make out the bruise underneath his eye and the red mark on his cheekbone. He was definitely here earlier than he was supposed to be too.
“Nice to see you too,” he snorted, shaking his head as he walked around the sofa, “fucker got a good hit, but you should see him.” He added with a cocky look, appearing proud as he plopped himself down on the couch.
You were instantly hit with the smell of him as you inhaled deeply, your arm pressed against his as he stretched his legs out until his thighs were pressed against yours. A tingle spread deep inside of you as you shifted, trying to pretend like you weren’t bothered.
“Mhm, mess him up good?” You rubbed the back of your neck, pulling your legs closer to your chest.
“Yeah,” a little exhale left his lips as he leaned over, messily tugging off his boots before moving onto the rest of his gear, “you’re watchin’ this shit?” You drifted your gaze towards him, observing the way his muscles flexed as he moved.
“It’s fun.” You defended yourself, crossing your arms over your chest. And you were bored.
“Sure. You could say that.” Gator’s brows slightly raised as he met your eyes, giving you a little look before he exhaled roughly and fell back into his spot.
It was quiet for a long moment, a tense moment passing as you tried not to focus on the sound of him breathing, of how warm his skin was against your own. You were overwhelmed.
“Christ, this is terrible.” Another long exhale left his lips as he groaned, dramatically dropping his head back against the sofa. You rolled your eyes, though you were enjoying the little back and forth with him. It’d been a while.
“Do you have something better to watch?” You turned, watching the way he shuffled his vape from his pocket.
“Yeah,” he huffed as he took a deep inhale from his vape, “anything but this.” He gestured towards the TV, shaking his head like he was disappointed.
“Whatever.” There was no irritation to your tone as you simply shrugged, fire pulsing from where his skin was rubbing against yours.
You turned your attention back towards the TV, biting down on your bottom lip as his fingers brushed out softly against the hem of your nightgown. He tugged on it softly, goosebumps spreading on your skin as he slowly placed his large palm on your thigh.
You bit down on your bottom lip at the feeling of his hand on your thigh, fingers rubbing across your exposed skin gently. His fingertips were warm as he continued to rub there, pressing back and forth slowly as the sensation traveled straight to your core.
“Is this wrong?” The question tumbled free without you meaning to do so, your tongue twisting as soon as the question was free.
“What?” Gator turned in amusement, hazel eyes filling with confusion as his hand froze against your thigh. He was partly underneath your nightgown, squeezing softly.
“Our parents are married.” You reminded him, trying to keep the shame from coming up at your own remembrance.
“Yeah, s’why it’s hot. You think I’d want you if you weren’t my sister?” His comment made your stomach twist, heart aching at his rude comment. You scoffed, nose curling up as he shrugged his shoulders.
“You’re such a pig.” You hissed at him, earning a little chuckle before he gave your knee a firm squeeze.
“You know, you told me that. That night you were all drunk and pissed.” Gator spoke in a matter of fact way. You snorted.
“I was not pissed.” You most definitely did not get pissed when you were drunk. Well, not all the time.
“You were pretty fuckin’ pissed,” he laughed underneath his breath, “you’re making that little face now.” He flicked his finger across your nose, leaving a little gasp to escape you. You didn’t even have time to swat him away before he’d already moved.
The TV caught his little smirk perfectly, his shiny teeth as he took another long inhale from his vape. It had a fruity smell, maybe watermelon. Though you weren’t paying much attention to the scent, not when his lips were wrapped around it so delicately.
“You really think it’s hot?” You questioned at last, raising your eyebrows curiously at the way he was looking down at his vape curiously. He wasn’t supposed to smoke inside the house, but clearly he didn’t care about that. Maybe that’s why he’d started vaping, got too in trouble from the cigarettes he’d used to smoke.
“I do, I just don’t have my panties twisted like you do.” A snort left his lips as you sat up a little bit straighter, a smirk forming on your lips.
“Are you saying that you wear panties?” You drew your question out slowly, trying to hide the giggle at the way his expression dropped. An irritated expression formed on his features.
“I didn’t fuckin’ say that.” A grumble left Gator’s lips as he narrowed his eyes, holding his chin up. You bit down on your bottom lip.
“You suggested it,” you replied with a little giggle, “sorry. I’ll stop teasing you about your panties.” You squeeze his knee this time, earning another little snort from him as he dramatically shook his head.
“I don’t have any fuckin’ panties.” His hazel eyes locked with yours as he shot you a firm look, making your heart race with excitement. The back and forth was still thrilling.
“You have mine.” The reminder was soft, sweet as you batted your eyelashes at him. You enjoyed the way he shifted at first, how the surprise quickly melted away from his handsome features.
“I do,” he added with a little smirk, “they’re nice. I like them a lot.” He lowered his tone as he tilted his head towards you, making your heart pulse as the energy between the two of you began to fizzle.
You hummed in acknowledgement as you shifted slowly, letting your nightgown raise higher and higher as his hungry eyes followed your movements. You took your time, tugging the soft material up over your hips until your panties were exposed to him.
“What do you think about these?” you teased as you let him have a good look, enjoying the way his eyes scanned the lace, “I really like this pair, they’re comfortable.”
“Oh fuck,” he hissed underneath his breath, his gaze burning into your skin, “oh God. Those are nice.” He hummed as he rubbed at your thighs, his hands heavy against your flesh.
A little gasp left you at the rough way he pushed you onto your back, a little laugh rolling off of his tongue as his fingertips grazed across the back of your thighs. Everything inside of you began to pulse with want as a possessive look crossed his features, the tension between the two of you fizzling as he leaned over you.
“Missed ya this week,” Gator admitted, dunking you with ice water, “been so busy, haven’t been able to listen to you bitch.” He snickered, tugging the band of your panties against your skin.
“I don’t-,”
Before you could really protest, you were silenced with the feeling of his lips against yours. You roughly jolted in surprise, though quickly relaxed at the smooth glide of his mouth over yours.
His long fingers wrapped around your wrists, engulfing you as he dragged his lips against yours slowly. He kissed more at your top lip, his nose brushing against your cheek as you curved your head up to meet his motions.
It’d been a long time since you’d had a heavy makeout with someone, your body responding accordingly as the heat built between your legs. Gator was all warm and firm, real as he slowly dragged his tongue across the curve of your lips.
You were staring in surprise as you looked up at him, at his little smirk before you were rising to meet him once again. You craved the taste of his lips on your mouth, how he tasted like that dumb vape he’d been inhaling earlier. Sweet, just a little bit like skin, but so much like him.
A desperate feeling grew inside of you as his hands moved up your arms delicately, fingers resting against your neck and jaw as he pressed you further against him. Your belly flipped at the whiny sigh he released, his lips slick and smooth as his kisses grew even more passionate.
Then he was dragging his mouth across your chin, your cheeks and down the curve of your neck. It was slightly wet, like he was purposely trying to leave a mark on you. His tongue was warm and wet against your neck, licking across your skin slowly until he found that spot that made your body jolt and a croon leave your lips.
“Like that?” Gator hummed, teeth grazing the same spot as you curled yourself up against his body again. You were like putty in his hands, molding to whatever he wanted you to be.
“Yes,” you whispered softly, shivering at the feeling of his tongue against that spot, “feels nice.” You answered honestly, stretching your legs out as he pushed deeper against you.
He continued to lick at your neck, tongue tracing that same spot that made your moans grow slightly louder, Your fingers brushed against the hair on the nape of his neck, leaving him to grumble against your skin.
“Gonna fuck the brat right outta ya, bet that’s just what you want. You want your big brother to fuck you?” A look of bliss replaced his expression as he stared down at you, hands heavy against your waist as he squeezed at your flesh.
“Gator!” Your heart was hammering, eyes wide as his filthy words. Despite that, you could feel your clit throbbing with anticipation. Want. God. You really wanted him.
He knew too, could probably read you easily as he began to tug your nightgown up over your hips. A hiss left his lips as he peered down at your panties, spreading your legs wider as he admired the view.
“Tell me how bad you want your big brother's cock.” Gator’s eyes snapped back up towards your gaze, head slightly tilted as he pressed his thumb down against your slick panties. A whine left you as he hit right against your sensitive bud, making you shiver underneath his touch.
“Want my big brother's cock bad,” you whispered in return, ignoring your shame as a low groan fell from his lips, “come on. I wanna feel you.” You nudged your foot against the side of his hip, biting down on your bottom lip as he began to hastily undo his pants.
You were practically drooling as you stared at his thick thighs, how hairy they were as he nested himself up against the back of your thighs. His cock was hard, the tip pink and leaking precum as he stared at you in bliss.
“Such a little whore,” he cursed as he spit along his cock, groaning as he slowly stroked himself, “s’lucky your pussy’s so fuckin’ good. You know that?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at his words. You both knew who the desperate one was.
“Like you have anywhere else to be,” you teased as you pushed your foot against his side again, “don’t be mean.” You told him, enjoying the way he softened for just a moment. Just a brief second as he spread you apart again.
“I think you like when I’m mean,” he smirked softly as he pressed his tip against your slick hole, “mhm, fuck. Look at that, takin’ me so well. Fuck, your pussy’s soaked.” His eyes were heavy, full of lust as he admired the way your pussy slid around his thick girth.
A cry left your lips as your body warmed, clit throbbing as you squirmed underneath his muscular body. He was so long and thick, big enough that it knocked the air from your lungs.
Little coos fell from him as his lips found yours again, messy and sloppy as your nails dug into his biceps. A grumble fell from him as he continued to bully his cock into your tight cunt, mumbling praises against your lips as he squeezed at your flesh.
“Fuck,” Gator grunted, nose dragging against yours as he exhaled deeply, “that’s it, doll. Takin’ my cock so good. Fuck, woulda look at that. She’s squeezing me so good, oh fuck.” He licked at his fingertips before he pressed them between your legs, toying at your clit.
You jolted at the sensation, mind foggy with pleasure as another moan fell from your lips. You squeaked in response as you nodded your head quickly, unable to fully recognize what he was saying as he continued to bury himself inside of you. You’d never felt so stuffed before, so full as he bottomed out against you.
Strangled moans left you as you squeaked in response, gasping loudly as he licked at your swollen lips. His eyes were full of pleasure and bliss as he observed you in awe, a low chuckle rumbling free as he continued to press down against your sensitive bud.
Your body was pulsing in pleasure, electricity burning as he slid closer and closer to you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you kissed back just as desperately, savoring how warm and heavy he felt against you.
“Gator,” a croon fell from you as sweat collected at the back of your neck. You were struggling to stay still, to be quiet as his heavy cock rested against your spongy walls as a trail of spit connected both of your mouths, “oh my God. Oh God.” You couldn’t think of anything else to say as you peered at where your bodies were connected, hissing as he pressed down on your lower abdomen.
The feeling of the tip of his cock pressing against you made you cry out again as you realized how deeply he was buried inside of you, how your walls were squeezing tightly around his fat girth. Little pants fell from you as you nodded your head, brows furrowed together.
“Fuck me please,” you finally managed to speak, dragging your nails across his biceps, “please, please. I need to feel you.” You nodded your head quickly, eyes hazy as you peered up at him in awe.
Gator looked ethereal, the bliss etched deep across his features as he continued to massage his strong palms across your hips. He flicked his tongue out across his bottom lip, hazel eyes admiring the way you were struggling to take him.
“S’that what you need?” Gator hummed as he squeezed at your hips, balls heavy against your skin, “need your big brother’s cock?” He tsked, enjoying the way your pussy fluttered around his girth.
“Need it bad,” you crooned as you began to rut your hips against him, only to be held back by his strong grip, “please, please. I need it so bad, Gator. Fuck me. Fuck.” Your words were numbly falling off your tongue, your ears deaf to the way you were pleading for him. It should be pathetic, but you didn’t care. This is what you needed.
Little whines and whimpers fell from your lips at the slow way he began to drag you along the length of his cock, how he curved perfectly against your bundle of nerves. Electricity pulsed down your legs as your sounds of pleasure grew louder, mind foggy with pleasure.
“Holy fuck,” he exhaled roughly, eyes scanning your body in awe as he bit down on his bottom lip. His face was all flushed, brows tightening together, “fuck. That’s it, doll. Takin’ my cock so good. Look at that. Jesus.” He whistled lowly, making you whine as you nodded your head in agreement. This was heavenly.
Pleasure was sparking down your spine as you exhaled roughly, enjoying the way his body was pressing into yours. The electricity was sizzling roughly between the two of you, his eyes filled with bliss as he clawed at your hips.
The room grew warm as sweat began to roll down his hairy chest, deep groans falling from his lips as the sound of the television became muffled to you. All you could focus on was the way he was making you feel, how heavy his cock was inside of you.
“Shh, gonna get us caught,” Gator groaned as he squeezed at your thighs, dragging his cock in and out of your slick cunt, “s’that what you want? Jesus, you’re squeezin’ me so tight.” He hissed, smacking the side of your thigh to make you squeal.
It took everything inside of you to keep your sounds at bay, your clit throbbing as you continued to rock yourself up along the curve of his cock. Your nails were digging into his skin as his balls smacked against you, the tip of his dick pressing into your bundle of nerves with each deep movement.
“Oh my God, oh my God,” you couldn’t help yourself as the electricity spread, burning more intensely as he threw his head back in bliss. His cock was spreading you apart in the best type of way, just a slight burn remaining as he continued to drag your body along his cock. He was so strong that he threw you around like you weighed nothing, fingertips digging into the fat of your hips, “right there, oh my God.”
A loud sound left him as he snapped his head over his shoulder before he quickly leaned down to connect his lips to yours again. You whined as you kissed him, trying to savor the taste of his moans on your tongue as you dragged your fingers up his shirt. You touched at his sweaty chest, enjoying the hair on his body as your clit throbbed in awe.
His mouth was hot against yours, lips slippery as he dragged his mouth against yours hotly. The couch was squeaking underneath the weight of the two of you, moving in unison with his movements. You’d be fucked if anyone walked in, but you couldn’t care at this moment. Everything was so intense, so pleasurable.
“Shut up,” he hissed as he pressed his fingers sloppily in between your lips, instantly making you moan as you sucked on his long digits, “Jesus Christ, you’re a needy little thing. You know that? Fuck, fuck.”
You gagged along his fingers as he pressed down on your tongue, his eyes darkening as he peered at you in lust. Your heels were digging into the back of his thighs as you continued to rut yourself up against him, drooling all over him and yourself as the sound of your bodies meeting filled the room.
It was filthy, nasty. So dirty and yet you wanted more of it. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as his cock continued to stroke the bundle of nerves inside of you, making you gasp as your pussy squelched loudly around his girth.
“Fuuuuuck,” Gator groaned as he looked down between your legs again, savoring the way you were engulfed around his thick cock, “just like that, little sister. That’s my pretty girl, little slut.” He hissed as he used his free hand to smack your pussy, making you croon in awe as you continued to slobber around his fingers.
The pleasure inside of you was burning rapidly, the muscles in your stomach clenching tightly as the waves of your orgasm continued to build. Your knees were pressed tightly against his side as you cried out, bliss pulsing deep inside of you.
You were babbling underneath him, completely incoherent as the pleasure left your brain foggy. You wiggled underneath him as your cunt clamped down around his cock, squeezing roughly as you came in bliss.
“Fuck, oh my God,” you whined, words muffled from his fingers as spit fell onto your chin, “oh fuck, fuck. Right there, oh my God. Please.” You were praising him, begging for more because you couldn’t think of anything else to say. Your words fell off of your tongue, nails digging into his skin as your body shook underneath him.
Gator moaned into your ear, sighing loudly as he continued to drag his cock in and out of your soaked hole. He was mumbling to himself as your ears rang, dirty praises falling from his tongue as he continued to bully his thick cock into your tight cunt.
His fingers dug into your mouth harder as loud grunts fell from him, his movements quickening as you fell deeper and deeper into the cushions. His hands were heavy against yours, swollen lips parted as he moaned louder and louder.
And you were in heaven watching him, completely enthralled as his cock continued to drag in and out of your slick, spongy walls. Gator’s features were tightened together in bliss, brows furrowed as he thrusted into you once, then twice.
A loud groan left his lips as he buried himself deep inside of you, balls pressed against your skin as he came with a loud cry. A gasp left you, body tingling at how deep he was pressed inside of you. You could feel his cock twitching, how heavy he was as he painted your walls white with his cum.
“Fuuuck, oh Jesus Christ,” he hissed as he rubbed at your clit, making you squirm even harder, “oh my God. Oh fuck, takin’ all of it. Such a good little whore.” He praised, cheeks all red and a pleasured look in his eyes.
You continued to lick around his fingers, sucking and kissing at the digits as your heart hammered roughly inside of your chest. Your pulse was racing against the side of your neck as you nodded your head, giggling softly as he fell against you roughly.
“God,” he groaned as he slowly pulled his fingers away, drool falling everywhere, “mhm, that was nice. You really are a good little whore, ya know that?” He teased as he kissed along your collarbone, your neck and then across your shoulders.
“Mhm,” you hummed as you tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck, earning a groan from him, “I think you’re the whore.” You pointed out, unable to help yourself as he snickered.
And yeah. This was nice. You enjoyed the soft way his lips dragged on your skin, how your fingers felt as you touched at his hair gently. Though that didn’t last long, not that you were really surprised. Gator didn’t do relationships and you had a feeling he didn’t care for cuddling either.
A hiss left you as he pulled himself from your sore cunt, a mixture of your cum leaking from your hole before he was rapidly pushing it back in with his thumb. You bit down on your bottom lip, trying to hide your smile as he pushed your panties back up the curve of your legs.
“You know, you’re not so bad like this,” he teased as he got himself dressed, “I like when you know how to keep your mouth shut. Knew it would just take a good fucking to straighten you out.” He snickered as he smacked your thigh again, making you yelp.
“You don’t know how to shut up,” you told him, very much out of breath. Your legs were still wobbly, far too weak to push him away fully, “you just talk and talk.” You rambled on, mind still fuzzy.
“Yeah?” a little smirk raised on Gator’s lips, “you like it though, don’t you?” Before you could answer you were jolted by the sound of footsteps, leaving both of you to jerk away.
You sat up, doing your best to compose yourself as you crossed your legs and pretended to be focused on the TV. There was an unbearable wetness that clung to your panties as you did your best not to wince, suddenly very aware of his cum leaking from your hole.
“You two are up early.” Your mother stated with a smile, already up and ready for the morning. She looked fantastic, her hair prim and her dress without any wrinkles. You were sure you weren’t impressing anyone in your nightgown.
“Just been workin’ on some chores.” Gator answered for you, giving a lazy shrug as he pretended to look at the TV as well. His eyes glanced back towards yours though, a knowing look in your gaze.
“That’s nice,” your mother nodded, giving you a soft smile, “good, you can help me with breakfast this morning.
You made yourself busy despite your exhaustion and sore body, pretending that everything was fine before you hopped up the stairs to get dressed. Roy would not be pleased if you helped serve breakfast in your nightgown.
It was risky to shower at this time, but you couldn’t stand the feeling of his cum leaking from your pussy anymore. You made it quick as if that would help, but you were sure that Roy would still have something to say about it. Everyone abided by the schedule that he made up for everybody else.
A little curse left your lips once you realized that Gator had marked you all up, which made you take even longer as you began to fill your face with makeup.
Damn him.
You were rushing down the stairs, silently praying that you wouldn’t be the last one to breakfast. Luck was on your side as you returned just in time to pull the quiche out of the oven.
“You clean up nice,” Gator mumbled as he walked past you, cracking open a Redbull from the fridge. He still had enough time to brush past you, to touch at your dress to prove a point, “I like the dress, but it’d look better off.” He whispered into the crook of your neck before he moved away, leaving you to shiver from his words.
Your mother sat the table up with her nice plates and silverware, followed by fresh orange juice and a mixture of fresh fruits on the table. Along with her vegetable quiche she had a platter full of bacon and sausage, something that Roy wouldn’t be able to gripe about.
Touching Gator’s hand felt less sinful this time, though you still felt the electricity raising down your arm from touching him. That didn’t stop, not one bit.
It was like he knew too by the way he dragged his thumb against yours, lightly pressing into your skin as a little smirk formed on his lips. He was lucky that he was handsome.
You found yourself with an appetite for once, your body relaxed despite the tension that always lingered in the air. Gator kept brushing his clothed feet against yours, a little smile on his pretty lips when he met your gaze.
God, that was killing you. It was easier to ignore him when he was being an asshole, but knowing that he was in a good mood too made you soar just a little bit. In no way did you like Gator, not like that. Not at all.
This was just… refreshing.
“Next week the Ruggles are coming by,” Roy spoke, breaking the silence from the dining table, “I want you to meet their son. He’s a good, hardworking boy.”
It took you a moment to realize that Roy was talking to you, that he was wanting you to meet this boy. You looked up at him in surprise, startled.
A startled laugh fell from you before you could stop it, your eyes widening as you realized your mistake. You quickly covered it up by wiping your mouth with your napkin, nodding your head furiously as you tried to fix yourself.
“Yes sir, that’d be nice,” you told him quickly, “does he have a name?” Across from you, Gator was bobbing his knee up and down obnoxiously, brows furrowing together. He didn’t appear relaxed any longer.
“Jeremiah,” Roy nodded his head, “he’s a good kid. He’s made his father proud.” His gaze turned towards Gator, who had suddenly found interest in his sausage patty.
It was quiet for a long moment as you tried to think of something to say, but was unable to do so. Gator dropped his head again, shoulders shrugging as he stayed quiet as well. Even though Gator was a dick, you still felt bad when Roy spoke to him like this.
“He’s very handsome too,” your mother reassured you with a smile, “I think you’ll really like him.” Yeah, you doubted that. You stayed silent though, knowing your complaints would fall on deaf ears. It wasn’t worth complaining about your worries to her anymore anyways. She didn’t care.
That caught Gator’s attention.
He looked at you for the first time, hazel eyes locked on you as you stumbled to find an answer. You could tell that he was focusing on every little movement you did, searching for the tiniest slip in your reaction.
“That’s good to know,” you pressed your lips together even tighter, “I can’t wait to welcome them here, and to meet him. Thank you.” You added with a nod of your head, making sure to look at Roy again. You didn’t want to piss him off.
How exciting.
You lingered after breakfast to help clean everything up as Roy and Gator mumbled about something that was happening at the station, maybe something to do with the bruise that Gator had earned. Which was looking quite rough at the moment.
Roy must’ve just realized that you were still lingering in the kitchen because his gaze snapped towards you, blue eyes cutting into yours as you realized you’d been caught eavesdropping.
“This conversation isn’t for a young lady. Don’t you have something to do rather than sitting around like a welfare queen?” His words crashed over you as you forced a smile, knoiwng that you had nowhere else to be.
“Yes, Roy,” you stood quickly, body burning in embarrassment, “sorry, sir.” You were quick to excuse yourself, not daring meeting Gator’s eye as he watched you until you were out of the room.
Whispers continued once you had left, but you paid them no mind as you made your way out the front door. It looked like you’d be doing a lap around the ranch instead, though you really wished you had brought your headphones.
Maybe it could drown out the guilt and shame that was beginning to grow inside of you, but still did nothing to combat the smile that was forming on your lips. Damn it. At the end of the day you knew that you couldn’t really blame yourself. It’d been a while since you’d had sex. Good sex at that.
You found yourself stretched out under one of the only trees for shade, ankles crossed as you looked out in the distance. There wasn’t much to stare at, but you couldn’t deny the beauty here. The nature was incredible.
You cocked your eyebrow as Gator approached slowly, strutting towards you as he continually ducked his head and mumbled to himself. Clearly something was bothering him, and he let you know as soon as he was in front of you.
“The guys a total loser.” He told you gruffly as he fell to a stop in front of you, peering down as he wiped his eyebrow. You looked at him stunned, trying to figure out who he was talking about.
“Who?” You asked with a laugh, savoring the breeze that washed over you. He squinted as he stepped closer.
“The Ruggles fucker, whatever his fuckin’ name was.” He gestured with his hands before he brought his vape up to his lips, taking a deep inhale from it. You laughed.
You stared in disbelief for the longest time before a startled laugh finally left your lips, realizing that he was jealous. Gator was actually jealous. Which was ridiculous.
“It ain’t fucking funny,” he muttered with a frown, “he’s a piece of shit.” Jeremiah really could be. You had no idea.
“I didn’t set this up. You act like I have a choice.” You reminded him, watching the way he grumbled again. He was pouting like a child.
“You sure seemed eager.” You snorted, watching the way his eyes shot up towards yours momentarily. You shook your head.
“I’d rather not get smacked into next week, thank you.” The reminder hung heavily between the two of you as a little sound left his lips before he nodded his head, rubbing at his bicep for a long moment.
“You think you’re gonna like him?” Gator’s tone was softer this time, unsure as he tilted his head towards you. You scoffed.
“I don’t know. I’ve never fucking met him before.” It wasn’t like you really had a choice. At the end of the day, if Roy wanted you to like him then you were going to do just that.
“Why do you have to be such a bitch?” His brows were furrowed tightly together as he looked at you, an angry look pulsing across his features.
“I’m not, I’m just saying that I don’t know him. Do you care if I like him?” You two were nothing, so it shouldn’t matter to him. Not at all.
“No, I could care less.” His answer was quick, hitting you like daggers. You knew that he meant his words too, so you didn’t press.
“Good.”
“Great.” He added as you crossed your arms over your waist, shaking your head.
It was silent for a moment as the two of you looked at one another, though couldn’t quite find anything to say. You bit down on your bottom lip, shrugging your shoulders.
“This is just for fun,” he grumbled a moment later, “I don’t need you or any other bitch holding you down.”
“Oh, I’m sure you have plenty of bitches holding you down,” you teased, shaking your head, “whatever. I’m fine with that. This is fun. I can do that.”
“Yeah?” Gator raised his eyebrows, observing you for a long moment. This was risky, but you did deserve some excitement in your life.
Not that the feeling was completely new, but now you had a different reason for it. You groaned as you dropped your face back into your pillow, trying not to think about it even though your body was ignoring you.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Not only were you doing everything in your power to avoid Gator, but you were refusing to think about him too. You didn’t want to see him, not at all. You didn’t want to talk to him and you certainly didn’t want to be alone in a room with him.
And you did not want him to linger in your thoughts.
The worst part had to be the fact that you weren’t as upset as you thought you would be. You should feel disgusted and horrified with yourself, and maybe deep down you did, but not enough to really feel affected about it.
That realization really scared you. You should feel all of these horrible things and you should be disgusted with yourself; instead all of that was numb in a way. All you could feel right now was the lust, the tension and the memories of his hands against you.
It was as if you’d been burned by him. The echo of his rough, large hands against your body. You could still feel him pressed up against you, could remember the way his hot breath fanned over your skin.
You were totally and without a doubt fucked.
All of that remained buried the next few days as you did your best to pretend that he didn’t exist. You didn’t acknowledge him when he stomped into the room, or when he tugged on your clothes or poked at you. You knew what he was trying to do, but you weren’t going to fall for it.
Even though you desperately wanted to.
The church was unbearable, though it usually was. Roy’s sermons were always long and dreadful, so backwards in a way that you didn’t know was possible. Your stepfather always managed to surprise you, however.
Despite all of that you still found yourself on your knees at the altar, your fingers clasped tightly together as you repeatedly begged for forgiveness. And to get over these horrible feelings, the lust and the passion. You didn’t want any of it, nor did you need that.
You could feel Gator’s eyes burning into you the entire time, observing you as if you were his next meal as you returned to the pew. You crossed your ankles as you sat down, letting out a little sigh as you did your best to ignore the presence of his arm on the back of the pew.
Gator was all longed out, long legs kicked out in front of him as he stretched his arm out behind you. Clearly he was pretty proud of himself, as this was not the way he normally sat. Not unless he was trying to piss you off.
And it was working.
His jeans were taut across his thick thighs, his brown buttoned up shirt making his eyes appear darker than normal. His hair was slicked back in his normal way, showing off his pretty features. You scooted a little closer to your mother, trying to ignore the way his leg bumped against yours as he continually bounced it up and down.
“I wonder what God thinks about what you had to say,” Gator leaned in close to you, his voice raspy from how low he was whispering. A shiver raced down your back at the sensation as you refused to look at him, choosing to admire the simple cross instead, “don’t brag about me too much.”
You rolled your eyes dramatically at his words, biting down on your cheek as you did your best to keep composed. You glanced at him, just briefly.
And God did you hate him. You didn’t understand how he managed to look so handsome, or why he was blessed enough to have such pretty big eyes. They were slightly downturned, a golden hue radiating from the sunlight that was hitting against his face which also illuminated his eyelashes.
The corners of his lips curled into a boyish grin at the way you both locked eyes before you were turning away, dropping your voice as you spoke to him again.
“You flatter yourself. Why would I think about you?” You challenged him, earning a snort in response. He continued to bounce his knee up and down, shaking his head before he turned his gaze away too. Good. You were tired of him staring at you.
If only he could get the hint.
“You know I think about you too,” his breath was warm against your neck as you felt everything inside of you burning. You fluttered, for just a second, before you froze again. You desperately wanted to press your thighs together, but you knew that he’d never let you live that down if you did, “especially when you’re on your knees like that.”
“Screw off.” You told him hotly, facing him angrily. His eyes drifted towards your lips, looking very pleased with himself as he cocked his eyebrows and remained silent.
You briefly felt like you won up until his hand was closer to yours, fingertips brushing against the sleeves of your dress gently. Goosebumps spread as you inhaled sharply, his thumb very lightly tracing around your exposed skin.
Melting. You were melting. And you really hoped that God couldn’t read the way your body was reacting, because there was no reasonable explanation for this.
By the time you were allowed to leave you were overstimulated with the touch and smell of him. Your only saving grace was that he rode alone, which meant you got a whole car ride back to destress.
But God, you could use a drink. And a cigarette.
Sunday lunches were always dreadful too. Just as long and boring. It was clear to you that Roy really loved to hear himself talk on these days, because he wouldn’t shut up. You were probably more irritable because of the way Gator continued to stare at you, begging for any scraps of attention that you could give him.
“You’re avoiding me.” He told you afterwards, trapping you at the top of the staircase. You could still hear your mother and Roy talking softly about whatever had been on TV to one another downstairs. You rolled your eyes at him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You answered casually, not wanting to give him anything. You began to walk away, only for him to tug you closer to him again.
“Yes you fuckin’ do.” Gator was close enough that you could smell the watermelon flavor on his tongue, his gaze challenging as he watched you closely. Your heart stuttered momentarily, his fingers hot on your skin.
“That shouldn’t have happened.” Your tone was below a whisper, so soft that he had to lean in closer to hear you. He pulled away, brows slightly furrowed.
“You wanted it too.” That didn’t mean it was right. It shouldn't surprise you that he wasn’t bothered by any of this. He had no morals, no ethics. He did whatever he wanted, when he wanted.
Still. You thought he might be bothered by the whole religion thing. Then again, he didn’t appear to be as much of a maniac as Roy was.
“Gator, it’s wrong.” You told him at last, moving backwards until your back hit the wall. He followed you the whole way, tilting his head curiously.
“Why? We’re not related.” He pointed that out quickly, rubbing his finger across his bottom lip. You frowned.
“Our parents are married,” you told him flabbergasted, “it’s wrong.” You faltered as he moved in closer, only a few inches away from you. His musk hit you roughly as you closed your eyes, doing your best to keep from inhaling him.
“I mean, what was so wrong about it? I thought you enjoyed yourself.” Gator smarted off, waiting for you to prove him wrong. You couldn’t. You had enjoyed it, much more than you wanted to admit. It’d be a lot easier to ignore him if he’d been lousy at it.
“Knock it off.” You didn’t want to think about it. If you didn’t think about it and you didn’t speak about it, then it was like it never happened. Eventually it would become more of a bad dream than a memory.
“No one will ever know,” he told you as he played with the hem of your dress, “and I’m not interested in anything serious. It was just fun.” He shrugged his shoulders, making you scoff. Like you’d ever get feelings for him.
“It was disgusting.” You poked at his chest, hand lingering as he slowly began to touch at your exposed legs. If you were in your right mind, you’d force him away. But you were curious at what he was playing at.
“I think that’s why you liked it,” he hummed as he leaned in close to you, “I think that really pisses you off.” His lips were soft and smooth, such a pretty pink color.
“Leave me alone.” You took a step closer, his body heat radiating across you. The tension between the two of you was thick enough to cut into it.
“I don’t think you want me to.” Gator was calculating you, a cocky expression on his features as he moved his knees gently around your scraped knees. He was touching you gently, softer than before.
Oh God.
“And if I do?” Your voice trembled, faltering as you felt the pleasure beginning to grow inside of your body. A desperate feeling was growing inside of you, beating all of the shame that you were feeling at the moment.
“Think I scared ya,” he continued on, tilting his head in amusement, “did I ruin you for every other man?” You didn’t want to think about any other men right now. Not at this moment.
“You’ve got quite an ego,” you huffed in response, “it was a sin. It shouldn’t have happened. It didn’t happen.” You shook your head, hoping that he’d agree. You two could both step away from this still with your dignity.
“Lots of things are a sin,” he mumbled as he trailed his fingers across your thighs, “you sin every damn day.”
“Like you should be talking.” Now you were irritated. He wasn’t a saint.
“Oh, I’m a sinner,” a low chuckle left his lips, “I sin everyday. Can’t help it. I’m easily tempted.” He smirked as he was fully rubbing your thighs at this point, up and down slowly. Goosebumps spread with the wildfire that was burning across your skin.
“Gator-,” you glanced down the stairs, ensuring that no one was around. This was bad. You didn’t want to get caught, couldn’t imagine what would happen if you got busted.
“Do you wanna know what really tempts me?” He leaned down at the same time you leaned forward, the two of you sharing a breath as your palms fell flat against his chest. His shirt was smooth, thin enough that you could feel his body heat.
“What?” You were whispering again, the buttons smooth against your fingers as you touched at him softly.
“You,” he bit down on his bottom lip, “I like how you walk around and pretend you’re some good girl.” He teased, making your eyebrows raise in surprise.
“I am a good girl.” You reasoned, narrowing your eyes slightly. He beamed.
“Oh, I think you’re very bad.” No protest came to you as he took a step back, fearful that he was leaving you behind. Then he began to move.
Your breath hitched in your throat as he slowly fell to his knees in front of you, his warm eyes watching you the entire time. Your fingers fell into fists at the way he slowly lifted your dress up again, exposing your panties to him.
“Cute,” he whispered, lips curling into a smirk as he peered up at you, “I can treat you real good, swear it.” He promised as he leaned forward, lips brushing against your tummy.
Your eyes fell shut as your head dropped against the wall, heart fluttering roughly as you recalled that anyone could see if they moved in the right direction. This was risky, dangerous.
All of that left you as his fingers looped through the band of your panties, slowly tugging them down the length of your legs as his lips moved lower and lower. Your skin was burning again, electricity shooting through your veins as your clit began to flutter.
The tip of his nose dragged against your skin as he inhaled sharply, breathing in the scent of you before his tongue just barely dragged against your bundle of nerves. You whined at that, eyes snapping open as he roughly tugged your panties off of your legs.
Everything inside of you was burning as you fell back into position, body burning in want and need as you peered down at him. He brought your panties up to his face, your clit aching as he inhaled even deeper, dragging his tongue out against the wet spot on them.
Then he was standing, the fog in your brain slowly clearing as he loomed over you. A smirk formed on his lips as he held your panties between his fingers, giving you a cocky grin.
“You’re right, this is a sin,” he whispered as he licked the slick from his lips, “such a shame. It was getting fun.” He tsked as his eyes dragged slowly across the length of your body, drinking you in before he stepped back.
Then you were left there, stunned and still burning with want as he walked to his room. After all of that he’d just left you all bound and frustrated.
