#being26 A quick look back to previous year as always. 25 has been suck. So bad. But at the same time, very levitate, freed. I suffered from time to time depression but keeping myself in check. There was a lot of ups and downs emotions, where I cut people off, where I don't wanna see or communicate with anyone. 2020 was a year of pendamic, and despite all that chaos, the thing that almost killed me was bidding a painful farewell to a very significant person in my life. As much as it was painful, it was empowered. It allowed me for the first time to confront all the emotions I've been suppressing - scared, heartbreaking, nervous, sad, joy. For the first time, it felt like a shipload of burden I've been carrying was lifted off, and as I watched my heart break on the ground, I feel this emptiness? Freedom? That I've never feel before. Something so excruciating, yet so soothing. A piece of my heart will never be the same ever again, but in a good way, it was memorial. Something I'd like to look back on and smile as I win the battle against myself. Life was hectic and in my 25th year, I found myself. Reminiscing about home à lot. I've been going through quite a challenge in a year gap, I've changed my academic direction, I've changed jobs, I've built connection and network for myself in this little town. There are still more to come and even after all these thing, I'm thankful for myself for not giving up on me, for not failing me, for not forgetting to take a half a step at a time and take it easy on myself. I'm thankful for the people around me, even though I didn't say it often. Grateful that they stick with me through all my bitterness, nagging, and mood swing. They have been an understanding bunch and I can't say thank-you enough. From here on out, I'd like to take it slow with myself and take it easy, still learn to love myself and put myself first above all else and stop over-giving to people. This is my words to my 26 year old self in the whole 365 days ahead. To keep on fixing myself and enjoy what I love to do. Thank you 25, you've been a fruitful lesson year. I'm looking forwards to what 26th can offer. #justcarly #steppinginto26 #26040695 (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNZIfM4r7zR/?igshid=cufq2pg8qyah