#stfu gem

[mrm-pachypoda]

Takes my blorbo and shakes him. Throws him against the wall and watch as he ricochets off it like those tennis balls during fourth grade recess. Fucking slam dunking my scrimblo as the crowd goes wild. He makes funky cartoon splat effects as he hits the pavement. I watch in glee.

[mrm-pachypodalt]

The Council has come to decide your fate

[mrm-pachypoda]

Giving my mini Marvin the Martian his 13th coat of clear nail polish at 2:30 in the morning, so as to make sure he is sturdy for the Hard Times (tm) ahead

[mrm-pachypoda]

It’s 4am and I’m physically incapable of sleep, due to the monsters that reside under my eyelids as well as the constant feeling that I am suffocating. I’m constantly clearing my throat and talking to myself quietly to verify that my airways aren’t fully clogged—because as I was taught in my first aid merit badge, speech means that you are breathing (hence the first step in the Heimlich maneuver)—meanwhile I’m trying not to wake up my stepfather who is one door away.

I would drink water, however the local water source is simply not potable. Because of the fact that there’s literally no other possible liquid I can safely drink right now, I have had to deal with the whole song and dance of making tea in the dark. I was pouring the boiling water through a sieve to do a combination kill-and-segregate to the bacteria in the water, all while holding my phone in my mouth to use as a light source.

My prescription is -5.75 and I am without my glasses with no lights on. I both can and can’t see thanks to being freaking glasses-less but also having great night vision and nothing feels real.

Can’t have shit in Detroit.

[mrm-pachypoda]

NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO GET YOUR MONTHLY REDEMPTION OF [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]]

[mrm-pachypoda]

Good Grief by Bastille is playing and I’m not crying! Now That’s What I Call Improvement, heehoo!!

[mrm-pachypoda]

Not me hyperfixating on duck like 4

[mrm-pachypoda]

*stands up*

Home slices, bread slices and dawgs of the jury,