#stfuspeeds

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side note me and rea watched the first ep of Star Trek Discovery season 2 last night and uuuuhhhh Pike's Hot

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The "let's check for a pulse" bit from Pacific Rim (2013) is still one of the best moments in modern cinema

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hey after seeing into the spider-verse noir/ham really grinds my gears bc Fuck Man They Never Said A Word To Each Other Throughout The Whole Movie

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me: i wanna draw

brain: hugguuuhuuhuu draw spider-man

me: but-

brain: jdnfjfbfjdnfjnfjg petey parkour !!!!

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Kamen Rider OOO AU where the original OOO is the one revived, and then the Kougami Foundation artificially revive the Greeed, but a side effect means they'd need to be partnered with a human and lend their power to allow the human to transform and fight OOO's yummies.

Kazari's the first to be revived, and while he isn't very willing to cooperate at first, he does give in when he realises how he can use these people to get back at OOO. He's partnered with Goto, allowing Goto to tranform into Kamen Rider Leo and use the Feline Core Medals to access different forms (Lion for balanced attack, defence and the glowy light thing the head of Latoratah does, Tiger for attack power and slashing damage with the claws, and Cheetah for speed and kicking power, eventually he can use three of each to unlock an upgraded Trio Form version of the form). Goto accepts when he realises how much more he could do as a Rider (basically fulfilling his wish earlier than in OOO, and seeing where that does).

Uva's revived second, and partnered with Akira, letting him transform into Kamen Rider Stag and use the Insect Core Medals to access forms. (Stag Beetle for balance + electricity manipulation, Mantis for the scythes slashing power, Grasshopper for jumping and kicking power, three of each later on for upgraded forms) Kougami chooses Akira for Uva because he feels as though Uva's stubbornness can be offset by Akira's chilled out attitude. Plus their personalities clash sometimes and Kougami's That Bitch.

Gamel gets revived third and partners with Hina, thinking her strength is fun. Hina's accepts when Gamel (and Gotou as Leo) shows her how her strength could be given a purpose beyond an inconvenience, to help people. This decision is made without Kougami's approval, but he's okay with it when he sees Hina effectively use the Rhino Core Medal's abilities. She becomes Kamen Rider Sai, and uses Gamel's Heavy Animal Core Medals to transform (Rhino for charging power, Gorilla for punching power and the chest beating shockwave thing, and Elephant for stomping/kicking power and quake manipulation, three of each for upgraded forms).

Ankh was revived prior to Kazari, but wasn't as keen as the others to partner up with a human. Eventually Shingou finds out Hina is Sai, and confronts Kougami about it. This is where we get the reveal that the partnering can't be undone and is permanent until either the human or Greeed is killed, at which point the partner will most likely die too, as the connection sustains them both. Ankh takes advantage of Shingou's worry for his sister to manipulate him into becoming Kamen Rider Hawx. The transformation weakens Shingou, allowing Ankh full control of his body for the duration. Shingou is severely drained after any transformation into Hawx, akin to Eiji using Tajador combo in the main series. (Hawk, Peafowl and Condor medals are all used in one transformation, giving Hawx one powerhouse form)

Mezool is revived accidentally, and takes a liking to Satonaka, and asks that she be her partner. Kougami is hesitant to let his secretary go, but agrees eventually. Satonaka flat out refuses. She's fine where she is. She does become Kamen Rider Orza a bit later, seeing it as neccessary. Plus she's the only one who's unfazed by Mezool in general, so the two are a natural fit. Orza is specialized for undersea combat, so isn't as powerful as the other Riders while on land. (Orca Medal for water spouting and echolocation, Eel for electric whips and agility, Octopus for wall-climbing and tentacle based attacks, three of each for upgraded forms)

Dr. Maki eventually uses the Dinosaur Core Medals to become a Greeed himself, allying himself with OOO and giving him the Putotyra Combo. He and OOO also destroy some of the Rider's/Greeed's Core Medals, restricting their selection of forms.

Kougami then reveals the Birth System, which will allow one Rider at a time to access a Birth Form, more powerful than a Trio Form, using Cell Medals. Goto and Akira use it more often than the others, but it's very much a universal Super Form.

Events then differ more drastically than in the original show, in ways I haven't really thought of yet.

Other changes include:

All Riders work at Cous Coussier, because I just think that'd be funny. Also gives them all a reason to be in the same place when they need to be for story reasons.

Eiji is still a live-in employee at the restaurant, but is a supporting character who is later revealed to have been possessed by OOO since the beginning.

Gamel's puppy love devotion is shifted from Mezool to Hina, mostly to aid story and development.

Chiyoko becomes aware her employees are Kamen Riders much earlier, but Eiji is kept in the dark until Satonaka becomes Orza, where he starts working for Kougami as his replacement secretary so she can be in the field more often. (This is also a way for OOO to get closer to Kougami, fueling Kougami's eventual breakdown to handing over his vast collection of Cell Medals to OOO)

Akira gets Uva's name wrong, instead of Ankh.

Uva is the one to reveal Akira's brain injury, having grown concerned for his "friend" (by this point he's actually started to give a shit about his partner)

Maki reveals the Dinosaur Medals earlier, because there are no Greeed available as Medal Container for him to experiment on, so he decides to use them as leverage to get OOO on his side.

Each of the Greeed sacrifice themselves to save their partners one by one at around the same time as their deaths in the original show (final deaths for Mezool, Gamel and Uva)

Goto and Akira's relationship is the same as in the show, but they have more time to develop it, with Akira being introduced around episode 6-7.

OOO has the ability to make any kind of Yummy he wants, so attacks are sometimes made by several Yummies at once.

No idea how Wonderful: The Shogun And The 21 Core Medals goes, please don't ask me at this point lmao

Please Ask Me About This AU I'm Crying Over It Already

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when the Mighty Nein eventually kill Lorenzo

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lightspeed megazord during formation sequence: squeeze me ass ooohooohooohahahehe

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i just remembered my boy Rocky's gonna be back for the 25th Anniversary Special djsbdjshshwifhwjqkkdjfkfr