Name: Stoneshade
Gender: Male
Age: 37 moons
Clan: ShadowClan
Rank: Warrior
History: Stoneshade and his brother, Shadepaw, are the sons of the ShadowClan deputy, Cedarclaw, and a queen named Ivytail.
Eeeh its a little odd for his suffix to be the same as his brother's prefix.
I would also like to point out that Ivytail is the name of a canon shadowclan cat, I would consider renaming her.
I might also consider changing Cedarclaw's prefix, as shadowclan had a deputy by the name of Cedarheart who became Cedarstar latter on. Although he could stay Cedarheart/star and it would be perfectly fine to me.
Their mother died a few moons after they were named appertices. Their father, who was now leader, was too busy with border issues with WindClan to help his grieving sons. About a moon later, Cedarstar decided to plan an invasion against WindClan due to border issues and a battle assued. Shadepaw was severly injured and because of this, Cedarstar decided to retreat, not wanting to risk anymore warrior's safety.
Hmm. If Cedarstar wasn't too concerned with his sons' grieving, then why did he turn a whole invasion around when Shadepaw got hurt? Firestar's daughter, Squirrelflight, was inflicted with a really bad wound during thefight against windclan during Eclipse and he didn't throw in the towel. I'm not sure its the greatest thing for a warrior leader to show that much favoritism in their offspring. You might want to consider this part a bit, perhaps mention many other warriors getting wounded severely?
Shadepaw later died due to infection. Stoneshade did not recieve any support from his father, who was distrot and believed that his son's death was his own fault.
Stoneshade was made into a warrior, the -shade suffix in honor of his brother, who could not be a warrior along side him.
Ahhh that explains it. I thought at first that Shadepaw was from another litter or that something like this happened. Seems pretty sweet, like how Cloudtail asked if Tornface could be Brightheart instead.:3
He later become mates with a friend of his, a pretty young she-cat named Snowbreeze. She later gave birth to two she-kits, Owlkit and Larkkit and a tom, Shadekit. However, they later died, due to greencough, during a harsh leafbare.
Stoneshade now has a apperentice of his own, Thornpaw.
*SOBS* DEAD KITTENS NOOOOO. 3:
That must have really stunk for him, especially with naming his little boy after his brother. It would be like him dying all over again.How did Stoneshade and his mate handle this?
Apperance: Stoneshade is a thick-set, burly and somewhat rudded dark grey tabby tom. He has a thich pelt with long fur. He has big, dark blue eyes with a scar over his right eye. His ears are large and wide and torn. He has huge paws and long sharp claws. He also bares many scars across his body.
Big buff fluff kitty HOO-HA
I'm going to assume "rudded" means "ruddied" meaning reddish, so he's a redish grey? I'm not quite sure that is possible. Unless the color you are trying to describe is fawn or lilac. If you go in our Useful Links section there is a cat coat color chart that can help with that.
But geez he has a lot of scars. Which is probably to be expected from a fighting-cat, so I'm okay with that. But the scar over the eye thing is pretty common though, I might consider removing that.
His design is still pretty good though!
Personality: Stoneshade is a very well-respected warrior in ShadowClan. He is very loyal and and responsible cat. He would put the lives of his clanmates before himself. He hates quarls within his clan, believing that it weakens a clan and tries his best to stop any fights between his clanmates. However, he is very strict and hates when rules or broken or bend, and often is harsh with his punishments. Stoneshade loves kits and is often seen playing with them outside of the nursery. Despite his loses, he is a firm believer of StarClan.
Seems like a good warrior, although you might want to include some of his weak points other then strictness. It seems like he would be quite hard-headed too. Like perhaps he is so strict with the rules that sometimes is can get in the way with his relationship with other cats. Or maybe it makes him seem stupid and almost like a drone following the leader, because the leader's word is the warrior code.
*Cries a tiny, manly, tear about the kit part*
I had a character once whose kits all died in a hard winter, and she told stories to kits as an elder and loved to help out in the nursery when she wasn't having one of her moods.
Stoneshade is a pretty good character, although you might want to fix some minor things like Ivytail's name and the describtion of his coat color.
But also, you seem like you need to expand more on his personality. Try to think when you write something about him " why does he do this?". If the answer is " I don't know." then it will need some more work. Also think about how his personality would affect other kitties, and how that makes them perceive him.
This seems to be a great start though! Keep up the good work!
