Have you ever been in the presence of a man who has poured his heart out to you and begins to cry to show his genuine emotion? When in a loving relationship, this display of vulnerability can draw you closer and make you love him even more.
Now, have you ever been on a first date when a man cries uncontrollably at the dinner table? The same level of closeness is NOT experienced and makes it awkward having the OPPOSITE effect of what a man thinks he is trying to accomplish.
I would like to say this was a one off thing... alas, it’s happened to me 3 times! I must have some weird affect on men that makes them cry and in all cases, I was not being mean or sassy, just listened and sympathised with them as they poured their hearts out. Get a therapist! Then when I reflect on the date I realize... its The Crying Game. I’ll explain further down...
FAV Dating Story: Picture this...it was summer 2019...sitting in a booth at Montana’s. My date and I order dinner and drinks and as we wait for service, I begin with the usual “tell me about your life” portion of the conversation. Single dad, crazy ex wife, yadda, yadda, yadda. As we begin to enjoy our dinner he shares the guilt he has with the kids not being with him as often as he would like and how it pains him. Awwwwwwww. I sympathize with him telling him it must be hard. He then goes on about how he has no friends, he has no one to turn to and that he is sooooo lonely that he needs a woman to help him feel better. WHAT?? I listen and start reflecting back what he is feeling. He starts to sob a little. I ask him if he has ever seen a therapist and he tells me no as he would feel shame. My heart leans into him and I begin to feel bad for him as his sobs become a full on snotty cry at the dinner table. He was also an ugly crier🙄. Luckily we were in a booth and he could hide his overwhelming display of emotion.
As we begin to wrap up dinner and he gets the cheque, he asks me if I would like to come back to his place for a night cap.............WHAT NOW??
That’s when it hit me. This is The Crying Game. You see men know that vulnerability can be an aphrodisiac for women. And yes... in a LOVING RELATIONSHIP! Not on a first date!!! 🤮
I told him that I felt he needed time to heal and to work on developing his own sense of self. His demeanour changed almost instantly. He became cold and distant and told me I didn’t understand him and his needs. LMFAO🤣
So basically, he cried to get me to feel sorry for him and to put me in a vulnerable state so that I would sleep with him. NOT A FUCKING CHANCE buddy!!!