Jun 15, 2018
From a librarian in Illinois.
But who goes to the library to find ANY sort of bug spray, really.
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From a librarian in Illinois.
But who goes to the library to find ANY sort of bug spray, really.
A man came in and bought a new pair of pants and some rope. Went to the restroom for a bit, and came out with his fresh new pants, to tie the rope around them like a belt because he was juggling his bags. So he walks up to me, holding out the rope and the waist of his pants (like so you could see straight down them), and asks me to tie it for him. I say, “I’m sorry sir but I’m not going to do that.”
To his credit he looks genuinely embarrassed though, I don’t think he quite thought the request through, and says, “oh...okay, could I set my stuff down then?”
“Yeah sure that’s fine.”
And with his now free hands he ties the rope and gets on his way.
I just received an online tumblr message asking for donations from me but when I asked if they wanted me to reblog and ask others to donate, they didn’t even answer the question. How bizarre. :/ I just hope it’s not a scam.
Sir, it's not like we have a toxicology lab in the back.
Tumblr Request
British people and their reactions to Hamilton
Is this a thing?
strange requests // self para (ft. sutton)
Connor bit on his bottom lip, entirely in disbelief that he was even considering doing this but at the same time he knew it was what he needed to happen. He would do it after his birthday he decided. He didn’t need to know anything more about Ariel because he knew the very second he saw her that he loved her, it just took him a while to admit that. To himself and to her.
So yes, he knew he wanted to marry Ariel. He didn’t know how soon the wedding should happen but he decided he had to get past the actual proposal first, but to get past that he needed approval from the two most important people to Ariel.
Sutton and Marcus.
He decided to go see Sutton first for a few reasons. She would probably be the hardest to convince but even so she was far less scary than Marcus. Maybe... He had never been on the receiving end of her temper but Ariel had told him tales of Sutton screaming names and insults at people who crossed her so maybe he should be more afraid than he was.
He stood pacing in front of the door and heard something clatter inside. Before he could turn to knock on the door it had swung open. “Go away!” It was Sutton’s voice and he stumbled backwards when he saw a wand and a knife pointed at him.
“Whoa I-”
“I said leave us alone!”
“Sutton it’s me! It’s Connor!”
And the weapons lowered to show a very relieved looking Sutton.
“Connor? What the fuck? It’s dark out...” She stepped inside but before he could enter she held out her hand. “Prove to me you’re Connor.”
“Wh-”
“Unless you can prove to me you’re really Connor you aren’t coming in.” He had no idea how to do so, but apparently proving he was a Muggle was enough because she gave him her wand and told him to say Crucio while pointing it at her. “If you’re really Connor it won’t hurt, and if you’re someone trying to hurt me then go ahead. Just try.”
He took a deep breath, for some reason afraid that it might work even though he was well aware there was no way it would. “Crucio.” He said after hesitating for a bit, and nothing happened.
“Alright, come on in then.” She said, so he did. Once in he watched her close seven locks on the door behind her and use her wand to perform a few charms that revealed baby toys, pictures of her with Will or Gemma and even Gemma herself. She must have seen the confused look on his face which had been there since he saw weapons pointed at his face. “I’ve been abducted from my home and they used Gemma as my bait. They clearly know she and Will are my weaknesses so... if it ever happens again maybe if they don’t know Will and Gemma are here they’ll leave them alone and take me.”
“You know... that’s not going to happen again.”
“Whatever, anyway, what were you doing creeping around my front yard in the dark?”
They sat down on her couches and he cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat, both two of his many nervous habits.
“Well I know you are very important to Ariel, and I know that you know my birthday is coming up.”
“Are you going to ask me if it’s okay to have sex with her?” Sutton asked with a laugh.
“No! No oh my god, no not at all!” He sputtered out, shocked by the abrupt statement. “I was just... I’m thinking of... well I want to propose to her.” He said with a blush.
“Are you serious?” Sutton said so quickly that her thick accent nearly caused him to lose any trace of the English language in her statement. “Pleasetellmeyouaren’tpullingmyleg.”
“Okay I didn’t understand that last part at all...” He admitted.
“I said you better not be tricking me with this!”
“I’m... not?”
“Oh this is great!” Sutton squealed. “This is so cute!”
“I just... wanted to - well I know it’s very soon, but I know I love her. I know that she’s who I want to marry; but I wanted to speak to you and Marcus first. I know how important you both are to her and I wanted to know I had your approval.”
“That is so sweet. Did you know that Will didn’t ask anyone? He just popped the question! I mean it was amazing, of course, but still this is so cute. Of course you have my approval, Connor. Don’t be silly. You make her way too happy for me to deny you that.” She rambled on and Connor sat there quietly.
In a lot of ways, Ariel and Sutton reminded him of one another. They were both hyper and easy to get along with. He could see why they were best friends. It made him miss Liam... He should really talk to Liam.
“Well... thank you, thank you so much.” Connor said happily.
They shared ideas of how to propose but kept coming back to one...
The same place he had told her he loved her. He would take her to Disney World. Maybe this time do something a bit more dramatic like propose to her with the fireworks or something... Whatever it was it had to be perfect.
“Of course! Was there anything else you wanted?” She then asked, readying herself to stand up. He rose first and held his hand out in order to help her up.
“No no... I just wanted your approval, which I seemed to have gotten.”
“You most definitely have!” She said happily. “Just... do it either before or after my wedding, mkay?” I love her to death but I’ve dreamt of my wedding for.... my entire life, and I want to be as happy for her as I can possibly be.”
“Of course!! No problem!” Connor said immediately, putting his hands up in the air.
“Good! Now, I’ll let you go, but good luck with Marcus.” She said.
Connor wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hug her because she didn’t seem like she liked hugs but she threw her arms around him,.
“I’m so happy for you two, okay?! You’re so cute, okay, now go on you cute little son of a bitch and put a ring on it.” She said with a wink. Of course this made a blush spread across his cheeks which only made Sutton giggle even more.
“O-Okay... bye Sutton, have a good evening.” He said with a smile shutting the door behind him.
Want to help me take over the world?
Unfortunately, that’s a no from me, anon. I have no interest in taking over anything.
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