I don't think I can even separate the two at all. All I know for certain is that I'm going to college for me to hopefully at some point to have something for us both. This idea hasn't polluted my creative workflow. If anything it has helped to get it on track. I also know that someday I will come back for you and all events considering, I will express my feelings. I dont set this goal because its creepy,or expect anything to come of it,but I do set it in hopes that maybe I'll have something to come back for. For everything positive, I know too that by journeys end I might come back and find that you've long since moved on ,or even settled. The risk has always been there the whole time, hanging largely overhead as though at anytime my future could be called on account of rain,but still I persevere So here I sit. I still write,never stopped. I think what I put down on the paper is just as much me,as is you. Ive long since built a bridge composed of others towards the adjacent embankment . I have known a lot of friends long since gone,left behind, that I have exhumed in the name of the literature I write ,to get to that opposite bank. It isn't just a bridge,but a carefully constructed footbridge of skeletons from those memories ,how they were,who they were and everything that I envied that they buried with their dreams. I should only hope that my resolve is as strong as they once were.