Aug 29, 2022
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This is what a $59 Hamburger Looks Like
I give you: "The Strasburger"
If this does not make you hungry, then you are probably a vegetarian.
Credit: Washington Post
Stephen Strasburg Eats a Strasburger Every…well, never. Sorry on this one.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/post/nationals-park-introduces-8-pound-strasburger/2012/03/12/gIQARk8g7R_blog.html?tid=pm_sports_pop
Great Foodstuffs From Around the League
The Nationals recently unveiled their latest effort at keeping America's obesity rate up with the eight pound Strasburger. Turns out, the rest of the league is jumping on with their own pun-filled efforts.
AL EAST:
Large Pizza with Endless Pedro Stroppings: Sit back and enjoy a pizza pie with as many toppings, or Stroppings, if you will, while watching the Orioles drop another game.
Mark Melancon Salad: Nothing tastes quite as fresh and refreshing as this three-melon fruit salad come Mid-July at Fenway.
Sea Sea Sabathia Seafood Platter: We fry up not one, but two entire different fish. Throw on a lobster soaked in butter and you've got yourself a meal.
Alex Colome Bag: For those with medical issues, enjoy the comfort of eating at the ballpark with the ease of having your own Tampa Bay Rays colostomy bag.
Jose Roast Beastista Mini Sandwiches: Homers aren't the only thing being knocked out by the dozen when you've got 12 roast beef miniwiches that come with a special secret "Beard" sauce.
AL CENTRAL:
Adam Dunn's Donkey Meat: We promise you won't "strike out" when ordering our premium donkey meat. Market price dependent on Dunn's batting average.
Shelley Dunkin' Donuts: The Indians have teamed up with sponsor Dunkin Donuts for a special Shelley Duncan offer. Enjoy a delicious Dunkin Donuts "O Donut" when Duncan goes "O" for four!
Phil Coke: We fill up a Coke for you. Get off our backs.
Everett Teaford and Biscuits: Enjoy the Royals latest seventh inning stretch routine by relaxing with a cup of tea and English biscuit.
The Darin Mastroianni Endless Pasta and Breadsticks: Mastroianni is a type of pasta right? Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a pasta.
AL WEST:
The Mike Pancetta-Wrapped Trout: Tired of the standard hot dogs and beer? Enjoy a gourmet option with our pancetta wrapped trout paired with white wine from a local vineyard.
The Colon Buster: 5 pounds of ground chuck, 2 pounds of hot dogs, 1 pound of bacon, covered in a chipotle cheddar sauce and deep fried in a soft flour tortilla. With the Coliseum only ever half full, there will be no lines for the post-snack bathroom trip.
Justin Smoaked Sausage: 15 sausage links in the shape of miniature baseball bats, one for each of Justin Smoak's 2011 home runs. Comes with three kinds of dipping sauce and Rolaids.
The Mark Hamburger and Julio Bourbon Combo: One is a plain hamburger on a bun, no toppings. The other is top shelf bourbon. Treat yo self!
NL EAST:
Larry "Chipped Beef" Jones Sandwich: A chipped beef sandwich that, while delicious, always falls apart before the end of your meal.
Dippin' Dobbs: The ice cream of the future!
Spotted Dickey: Celebrate baseball's rich British roots with this English dried fruit and custard speciality.
Brian Schneider's Potato Latkes: Wait, Brian Schneider's not Jewish? Well, uhh, this awkward. And potentially offensive.
Gyro Gonzalez: Only slightly less popular than the Strasburger is the 4.5 pound gyro sandwich named for Gio Gonzalez. Its worth its weight in his BB/9 rate!
NL CENTRAL:
Beef Wellington Castillo: Some come out to Wrigley for the baseball, others for the Old Style. Now a new tradition is born.
Sam LeCured Pork: If your cholesterol is higher than LeCure's ERA (decimal excluded), you eat for free!
Jack Custard: Walk, and then walk some more, to Houston's new favorite post-dinner snack.
Tim Dillard Pickle: The perfect side dish, the Tim Dillard pickle is giant, plump, and full of nutritionally deficient goodness. It's a great complement to any of Milwaukee's many and varied sausage options.
Jason Grilled Meat Combo: The middle of the Pirates order may not have much meat, but don't you dare say that about Jason Grilli's meat combo. Combine St. Louis and Memphis ribs, pulled pork, grilled chicken, and a bratwurst served over a bed of cole slaw and french fries.
David's Disco Freese: Nothing says "diving stop down the line" like french fries covered in gravy and cheese.
NL WEST:
Paul Goldschlager's Drink and Dunk: Prove your man, or woman, hood by downing the most shots of Goldschlager in one hour than the rest of your party. Winner receives free signed bat and stomach pump! Only available in pool.
Pom by Pomeranz Juice: Need a healthy, antioxidant after a day of eating pork anus and knocking back a Coors? Sip on 42 oz of pure, 100% Pomegranate juice in a limited edition Drew Pomeranz cup.
Jerry Sandswich: Between two incredibly white pieces of bread, we stack heaping portions of turkey, roast chicken, and roast pork--all the white meats possible! Lasorda's special au jus available on the side.
Huston Gourmet Street Food: Ever had Korean BBQ tacos? Or steak and cheese poutine? Or Hawaiian breakfast sliders? Enjoy these and more as we'll bring three more every inning until you beg us to stop. We will never stop.
Barry Ziti: Tangy marinara and gobs of cheese coat this tasty pasta dish served in Pablo Sandoval proportions.
Hey you DC Tumblrs:
Via Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post comes this press release from the Nationals about a new concession item called the “StrasBurger”:
Weighing eight pounds total (including toppings), the StrasBurger is a monstrous all beef burger (combination of ground brisket, chuck and short ribs). The burger is served on a large burger bun with our secret sauce, American cheese, shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, sliced red onions, pickle chips and served with a cone basket of fresh cut fries and a pitcher of your choice of soft drink.
Hopefully they have Diet Coke available.
If any of you go to a Nats game and get this- and I'm looking at you Gravyholocaust and RustyChicken- I want pictures.
A follow-up article listed it as between 8,000-10,000 calories, 550-650 grams of fat and around 3,000 mg of Sodium.
Get Ready Stomach, Here Comes the Strasburger
Stephen Strasburg's first full season and Bryce Harper's spring performance will have to move down the list of most important things to Nationals fans because there is a new Man Vs. Food challenge coming to the ballpark. I speak, of course, about the perfectly named StrasBurger:
Weighing eight pounds total (including toppings), the StrasBurger is a monstrous all beef burger (combination of ground brisket, chuck and short ribs). The burger is served on a large burger bun with our secret sauce, American cheese, shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, sliced red onions, pickle chips and served with a cone basket of fresh cut fries and a pitcher of your choice of soft drink. This signature dish is the perfect entrée to share at this affordably-priced family restaurant.
The glutton in me screams for delight. The neurotic in me is scared of what the waitress thinks when I order the dish while sitting at a table for one. And the man terrified of death wonders how many days my life would be shortened with this pumping through my blood. Probably worth it though. You know, cause it would be a killer blog post.
I'm sure Stephen Strasburg's dietitian of a mother isn't pleased.
"more than one animal?"
first lady: "sheep"
"one more time: more than one animal?"
second lady: "lama"
I love this XD