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Rustenberg Straw Wine 2011

The wine: Rustenberg Straw Wine 2011

The producer: Rustenberg www.rustenberg.co.za

They say:This wine has been made using a centuries-old process of drying grapes on straw in order to produce dessert-style wines. Grapes are harvested at the same ripeness required to make table wine and are then laid out on straw for a number of weeks. This allows the grapes to slowly dehydrate, concentrating…

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Episode 3: Squeeze

Production Code: 1x02 Director: Harry Longstreet Written By: Glen Morgan & James Wong Original Air Date: 9/24/93 Drink: Straw Wine

PLOT: Mulder and Scully search for a humanoid killer whose savage murder spree reoccurs every thirty years.

COMMENTARY: 00:03 - Oh Baltimore. If John Waters and The Wire have taught me anything it’s that the city is quite the shithole. I feel as though they need some real positive reviews about the place from someone in authority. And not charge you $8 to drive through the stupid place if you’re trying to go south on I-95. Their aquarium is very nice though. 00:48 - What’s this? Spooky eyes looking out from the sewers? This doesn’t seem like the aliens or government conspiracies that I’ve come to know and love on the show so far. Believe it or not there are all sorts of killer and monster and mutant episodes coming up, including this one.

01:23 - I’m no expert on elevator maintenance, but this is not how elevators work. 04:07 - That’s right, co-star of Ghost Rider, Blade, and Reindeer Games, THE Donal Logue, is in this episode, albeit much younger and lighter than he is now.

05:00 - Scully has only been working with Mulder for two weeks and already she is a laughing stock among the FBI. And I thought the middle aged women at my job were gossipy... 07:23 - Despite Mulder’s flippant explanation of alien color to Coulton, he does bring up the common misconception of aliens being green. Anyone who is anyone knows that the only green aliens are the ones from Mars Attacks! and the Great Gazoo. FACT: Aliens are gray, or if you believe new accounts on the Roswell crash, whatever color deformed Russians are. 11:20 - Takes liver to cleanse himself? Maybe something along those lines, but what are Tooms’ real motivations? He seems to wake up every 30 years just to kill five people and then go back to sleep again. Doesn’t sound like a very fulfilling life. 13:12 - Mulder is a huge fan of sunflower seeds. 14:40 - You may recognize Doug Hutchinson as the creeper character from such movies as Con Air, The Salton Sea, The Green Mile, Punisher: War Zone, and The Burrowers, as well as in real life...

17:30 - While it wasn’t until 1998 that the Supreme Court ruled that polygraph tests were pretty much unreliable, the knowledge had to be out there, and the fact that Donal Logue implicitly trusts the lie detector, where it’s convenient to the case, and that Mulder does as well, despite the fact that he even admits that it can be beat, is very strange. 19:32 - The X-Files is nothing if not a study in outdated or completely made up computer programs. 22:00 - If you’re bad, Malevolent Santa [Plate 5.] comes down your chimney and steals your liver. It’s up to debate whether he’s worse than the Netherlands’ Sinterklaas, who will have his 6-8 black servants beat you and carry you off to Spain in a bag if you’re on the naughty list. I guess it really depends on how you feel about Spain.

22:25 - A samurai sword on mantle? Isn’t this guy a banker or lawyer or something and not a redneck or college student? I mean I’ve got two dozen swords scattered around my place in case of attack, and even I don’t have one on my mantle. 24:31 - Aaw, a microfiche machine, how quaint. Haven’t seen one of these since Fallout 3. 30:40 - While I can fully believe if you kill enough people somewhere it could leave some sort of taint on the area, that number is going to be more than just five. You may recognize this shot from the opening credits as well. 32:48 - As far as they go, that’s a pretty sweet bile nest.

34:16 - Does Tooms just hang out on the ceiling all the time? 35:33 - From what I remember Coulton never mentioned again on the series, so we have to assume that he didn’t make it that far up the FBI ladder. He may be brought up again by fanboy avatar Agent Leyla Harrison in the season eight episode ‘Alone’, but I don’t think so. 36:41 - For once there is a regular cell phone conversation in the show. If I took a shot every time that happened I wouldn’t be able to write this. 37:50 - Again, oh to live in a world without cell phones. I’m sure if they were making this show now they would always be out of battery or in places with no service. If nothing else the introduction of the cell phone has caused writers to be a little less liberal with victims with cut phone lines. 38:53 - I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say that perhaps handcuffs are not the best method of containment for someone who can squeeze their body through tiny spaces. 39:24 - Ham-fisted ethnic cleansing article commentary about evil in the world? I really don’t know if you could call Tooms “evil”. His motivation seems to be just trying to procure his five livers in order to hibernate again. He certainly kills people, but only to eat their livers to survive, not willy-nilly for the hell of it. Could he just kill a bunch of homeless people instead of upstanding citizens? Sure. Could he chloroform his victims and remove the livers with surgical precision, leaving them alive and in immediate need of a liver transplant? Sure. Granted the taking of trophies is a little questionable, but I think it’s a stretch calling him as evil as ethnic cleansing. 40:10 - As much as I like the visual of Tooms rebuilding his nest, I feel as though an inmate making a bile nest in their cell is something the asylum would have some problems with.

42:05 - Between rebuilding his nest and staring at food slot with dreams of escape, genius ending.

FACTS: As of writing this Doug Hutchinson is 52 years old. Six days before turning 52, he married his third wife, Courtney Stodden, who was 16. Being underage, her mother had to sign a consent form so Courtney could marry, however there was not a separate consent form to allow her to marry someone 36 years her senior. That is what’s great/terrible about America.

Writer team of Glen Morgan and James Wong were responsible for 15 episodes of the show, as well as being the writers/directors of such movie hits as Willard, Black Christmas, Final Destination, The One, Final Destination 3, and Dragonball Evolution. ‘Squeeze’ was inspired by the Kolchak: The Night Stalker TV movie, The Night Strangler, about a man who had to kill strippers every 21 years for their blood to make an elixir of life.

Chris Carter felt, and rightly so, that there was no way the show would survive if it was only about aliens and government cover-ups and there needed to be “Villain/Monster/Freak of the Week” episodes for the casual viewer. So they made some.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE: I lived in London when I first really started watching the show and what they would do in England was release any two part episode as a single video, so I got to watch ‘Squeeze’ and ‘Tooms’ back to back, a luxury those in America before the invention of the DVD did not have until their eventual VHS release. Once I had finished them, I was sold on the show. Every mythology alien related episode in my mind was fine, a 6 or 7, but it was the Monster of the Week shows that really allowed the show to shine with a 9 or a 10 rating (and to be fair some 1 and 2 rated episodes as well) and they were the ones I looked forward to the most. If they were about a monster or mutant as opposed to some killer or something boring, even better, and Eugene Tooms was one of the best, not just in the first season, but the entire series.

Eugene Victor Tooms will return in “TOOMS”.