"Chaos Chaos And What's That? More Chaos!!!" StrawberryCupcakes Joke Fic
This was inspired cuz we normally get get at least a Sprout during our runs but one day he just refused to spawn and we joked that a divorce happened between him and our beloved Kai 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏
Now we did get him the next day, no divorce but I still wanted to make a joke fic that will steal your functioning braincells, dear reader 💔💔💔
Kai your sona is stuck in my brain bro fluffy lil gremlin who loves their strawberry husband, ever since I did that ship art I've been giggling bro 🙏🙏🙏I just see you as a fluffy lil guy gelp
Don't expect anything impressive this is a fucking mess on purpose 😭😭💔💔
TAGLIST IDK: @cupcakewebkinz @k3echie @crayons-are-yummyy @foxythefox150 @scholar-the-genius-anon @go1dfish24 @soupiestzilla @fbpanimations IDK WHO ELSE I'M SORRY I'M RUSHING TO POST THIS LOL
It had been quiet, too quiet. The house that used to smell freshly baked sweets and sunshine now hasn't smelled like that for a good while now, so long ago that Kai wondered if that had ever been a thing.
The strawberry man just hasn't been around that day, Kai thought he was just helping others somewhere else and they just happened to need more help or something. Though when he hasn't even gotten back home to Kai was when they started to get worried now..
Sprout would be home by now! But it has been far too long, it was like the strawberry man himself had disappeared completely. Kai was hunching over the table that had the divorce papers on it as she sobbed, tears falling over the papers like crazy. Paws on her face as they felt the tears.
"I haven't.. SEEN him all day.. i-it's not over, is it?!" Kai slammed the table as more tears fell down, they couldn't see well in front of them from how hard she had been crying. The divorce papers felt like they have been staring at her.. menacingly.. like they are calling to them desperately. It's like the papers had an aura on their own that called out to the poor thing that was bawling her eyes out.
Well, it wasn't like this had ever happened before, Sprout always came back, hell, he even made whole ass kissy faces to Kai whenever he passed by them! He was literally a cuddle bug ready to steal his wife's attention every chance he got! He was literally head heels over them!!
"That's it!" Kai sniffled as she took the divorce papers in their hands. "He has some explaining to do! It's almost the next day!!" She got up, determined and immediately flew out the front door.. more like kicked it open. They kicked it so hard you'd thought someone owed her rent or some shit. It was hella scary.
You'd thought Kai teleported or something by how fast she got there. Gripping the divorce papers like someone was about to steal her favorite food right out of her hands. They went to the place Sprout would bake together with Cosmo and punched through the door before grabbing the key and unlocking it from the inside. She then pushed the entire door on the ground as she stood on top of it.
"K-Kai..!" Cosmo called out relieved and immediately went to them. "I.. I don't know what to do! It's.. it's bad!!" He then looked towards inside where a random ass screaming was heard. Cosmo was in near tears as he looked back at Kai, who the fluffy being almost looked like steam was coming out of her ears.
"Where."
"H-Huh..?"
"W h e r e."
Cosmo sniffled and gulped before shakily pointing towards the direction of where the goofy ahhh cartoon mf screaming was heard. Kai gripped the papers even harder you'd think she had a paper fan or something in their hands. Cosmo stood behind as he trembled and guarded the front door like they were dealing with a beast or some shit.
Getting closer, a horrible scratch noise was heard from the inside of the room and random walking but like heavy footsteps. Kai huffed and kicked the door down which caused a certain strawberry man to flinch and look up like he got caught sneaking to grab food at 3 am on a random tuesday. He had tears in his eyes and his nose was running, leaf hair all over the place, clothes dirty like he got mugged of all his tapes.
"C-Cook..?" His voice was so weak as he looked back at Kai who had crossed their arms and were tapping their paw on the ground repeatedly. Sprout sniffled as he banged his hands on the wall. The room was such a mess too, many cooking ingredients and more on the floor, eggs, flour, tortillas, croissants, mayonnaise, caramel, you name it. "Cook.. w.. we need to cook.. COOK!!!" He yelled like he was commanding a whole ass restaurant or something.
"I told you it was bad.. i-i don't know what to do about this.." Cosmo popped from behind as he looked at the sad state his best friend was. "I have been trying to figure out something all day.. I even locked the place so he doesn't get out.." He talked like his bestie was a wild animal in a zoo.
Kai cleared their throat before presenting the very crumbled divorce papers to the strawberry man. Sprout gasped so comically loud you would think he was getting all the air sucked out of his body. He placed his hands on his head as his jaw dropped so much and his eyes got big and teary.
"B-But.. we need to.."
"It's over, Sprout."
"C-COOK..?!"
"I said it's over, Sprout Seedly!!"
"w i f.." His voice got so quiet the moment he heard the last name he very hates. He immediately dropped on his knees as he looked with teary eyes towards the sky and let them roll down his face as he sniffled loudly. He then hunched forward as he faced the floor and cried. Kai just shook their head as they threw the ring towards the floor nearby Sprout, which made him cry even harder. Cosmo just looked at the entire scene as he covered his mouth in shock.
"Go cook then!"
"Wi...f.."
"I'm taking the kid too!!"
"WIF.. CHILD.." Sprout cried harder.
"YOU HEARD ME!!!" Kai pulled out a toddler sized strawberry cupcake from her bag before hugging it close to her, stroking it's head and cooing at it gently. "I'm sorry you had to see that, dear.. he won't make us cry any more.."
"Yes, mother." The cupcake kid said with a deep monotone voice. Kai smiled and started walking away, leaving the divorce papers on the floor behind for Sprout to deal with for now.
Crying strawberry dude looked up as tears fell down his face and his nose was a mess too from crying. He extended his hand towards Kai and their child before it falling on the floor in defeat as he curled up on his own tears, licking some random ass caramel that he accidentally picked up when going literally insane in this room. Cosmo blinked twice at the whole thing like he was watching a drama.
..........
.......
...
"NO PLEASE DON'T DIVORCE ME I WILL DO BETTER AND PLEASE LET ME SEE OUR BEAUTIFUL KID!!!!" Sprout gasped loudly as he sat up and pressed a hand on his chest, he was full on sweating and panting like he witnessed something horrifying. Kai sat up immediately as they felt him sit up and because they were also cuddling together and blinked twice as they were awake now.
"Sprout.. hubby? Are you okay? Did you see a nightmare?" Kai hugged him tighter and Sprout hesitated for a bit before holding his precious wife closer to him and just nodded. Kai stroked his leaf hair gently which caused him to calm down more and more, making him sleepy all over again. The wedding ring on Kai's fingers helping so much too.
"I love you so much.." Sprout whispered in tears as he held Kai closer. Kai smiled before leaning in to give him a kiss which really seemed to do the trick. He cupped with one hand Kai's face as he stroked her fluffy cheek with his thumb and the other arm was around her, holding her close and tightly.
"I love you too, Sprout.." Kai whispered back as they continued to hold him close to her. Sprout smiled hearing those words as he felt loved.
Little does Kai know that her not saying his last name also played a part in calming him down too.
