Camouflage roses
Pt. 5
Previous chapters:
Part one Part two Part three Part four
As the evening turns to night, Hyunjin gives me his full attention.
Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x reader
Genre: fantasy/historic au, strangers to ???, smut
Warnings/explanations: NSFW, kissing, nicknames (petal) making out, cursing, unrealistically good fingering considering inexperience but hey he can just be a natural at it don’t you agree?, orgasm received (thank you Hyunjin, he’s sweet), semi-public (could kinda get caught cause they’re outside but not voyerism)
Wordcount: about 2500
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”Have me then.”
”Maybe someday,” he sighs in frustration.
I don’t understand.
”I want you now,” I state without much thought, hands sliding past his chest to wrap around his neck. I know what sex is in theory, I know what it means to a woman. I know I want Hyunjin to be my first.
Two eyes snap open to find mine, the evening sun covers everything with a deep ocra that seems to intensify Hyunjin’s already penetrating gaze.
”What?” he blurts, voice an octave higher. The contrast between it and his earlier deep groan is staggering.
Our bodies are so close I’m melting into him with each breath. His entire figure has gone as stiff as a tree trunk. My mind is blurred by the want I have for him at this moment, but behind the haze my brain goes into a state of slight panic. I can feel by body retreating in shame. Did I scare him? Was I too forward? Did I read him wrong? How could I have read him wrong? He literally just said-
”Petal,” he’s serious, sliding his arms up to grip around my torso, pulling me back to him and holding me there, steady, caring. ”We can’t. I want to, I- fuck, I want to, but we can’t.”
”Why?” I whisper and hope he didn’t notice the shiver that went through me when he cussed while saying he wants me. So much improper behaviour in the span of minutes. Papa would faint. ”If you want to and I do too, I’m saying yes, what else is there?”
”I… I think you deserve more,” he states. ”You, petal, you’re a lady. You shouldn’t be out here in the first place and I… I can’t in good conscience-”
I want to debate this, the feeling in my body begs me to, and yet, ”Hyunjin, if you’re not comfortable-”
”Please believe me when I say I want to,” his hands slither around me to my front and rise to frame my face. ”Please don’t think I don’t want you.” The kiss that follows is still hungry, still all-consuming, yet there’s clearly something being restrained.
I do believe him. My body feels the disappointment of something being so close being yanked away, like a flower being cut down just prior to opening. The metaphor feels slightly too on the nose. But I believe him and in his feelings toward me even more now. A man who is simply starved for any touch would’ve said anything to keep going, and maybe afterwards disregarded me entirely. If he’s the one restraining himself to take care of me, I can’t help but trust him further.
”I’d be happy with you anywhere,” I take his hands into mine and let them fall to swing on both sides of us. ”Among the trees and flowers is where I’m most at home, you know.”
His eyes light up suddenly, a sly yet bashful smile coming to view. He keeps our hands together and backs up, pulling me with him. I can’t believe how easy it is to be led by him, I’d go anywhere and do anything. But it doesn’t feel like control, it feels… it feels like freedom. Like the only form of freedom that matters.
”Petal,” he swings me around so my back rests against an old birch. Whatever it is we’re doing here, it’s smarter than doing anything where we last stood. Here we’re completely sheltered by the foliage. ”I’d like to try something with you that… I don’t know how to say it. I want- I thought we could try-”
”It’s okay,” I bring a hand to his chest. ”It’s you, so I’ll do it. Just… guide me, please.”
”Yes ma’am,” Hyunjin sighs with relief and leans closer. ”First,” he swallows, ”I just need to kiss you.”
As we become a tangled mess just like the roots of the tree I’m held against, the heat inside me becomes so magnified that I can’t keep quiet. My moans seem to make Hyunjin even more eager, and my suspicion is confirmed when his incredibly hard member presses against my thigh.
”Can you feel me?” he whispers with lips against my ear. I reply with a gasp as his large hand cups my breast and he moves against me, grazing my core through my trousers. ”This is how much I want you. Please remember we can stop at anytime, I-I promise- god you’re perfect.”
”I don’t want to stop, Hyunjin. Please, don’t.”
Hyunjin’s scent is like a fresh breeze. I can’t get enough of it, I want to drown in it, which is what it feels like when we’re close like this. There’s no stopping this plunge I’m taking, I have no thoughts in my brain that don’t involve him and this moment. So be it, I will it so.
To hell with Seungmin, any future engagements. I. Don’t. Care. I belong to Hyunjin right now, in these woods.
I’m so mezmerized by my current circumstances that the sound I make when he presses his fingers between my legs is one of gratitude rather that surprise. His eyes are intense yet gentle, focused on my expression and reactions.
I find some courage within my aroused state and bring both arms around his neck. ”Tell me what you had in mind, private Hwang?”
The gentle colour in his gaze leans to a darker shade, without disappearing entirely. ”I didn’t know ladies played like that,” he grins, dimples in full view. Adorable feature, just another reason to swoon right now.
”I- mmmh- I don’t feel like a lady right now,” I moan and feel my hips rolling off the bark behind me to chase his palm and fingers. ”Please… Jin… tell me.”
He seems almost bashful as he forms the thought, his fore and middle fingers never ceasing their teasing motion.
I’m so wet.
But his answer is anything but shy, the voice he conjures is dark and confident. ”We’re going to help each other.”
”Tell me you understand,” Hyunjin demands while shivering, obviously needing my approval.
”Yes, sir,” I whisper. I’m inexperienced, and he appears to not be. We’re on different levels, but he doesn’t seem to care or mind. Maybe he doesn’t notice?
Possibly not. He seems too nervous himself based on how his fingers shake as he brings his hand to my stomach, while his other arm supports him against the tree. The big being we’re counting on to keep us upright and hidden.
”I’m not ready to have you completely, I’m not worthy,” he professes as his hand slides beneath the band of my underwear and to my wet centre. I nearly spasm. ”But I would love to make you feel good, to find out a small list of things that make you tick. That make you… make some more of those incredible noises.”
”Ah!” I gasp when he finds a spot between my legs that hasn’t been touched before. ”B-But how-” I stammer between moans as he applies pressure while gently swirling his two digits around that small spot. Our foreheads are glued together. ”How is t-this- ah- helping you?”
”My entire world is better when you’re in my sight,” his words feel like a poem, a thought out one, but he nearly pants as he says them. ”And now I get to touch you. Petal, you help me by existing.”
His words and movements combined are creating a high like I’ve never felt. I’ve never done or experienced anything like this.
”Let me just…” he mumbles as a slender finger enters me slowly. ”So tight, darling, so wet and so tight just for me,” he groans, lost in his actions. The sensation is new and strange, but I remain relaxed, probably due to my body’s produced lubrication and the fact I’m with Hyunjin. He snaps back to focus suddenly and whispers, seriously, ”is this still okay?”
I mumble something that resembles a yes but he catches it as someone who seems to know me frighteningly well would.
He slides deeper and sets a pace which I instantly respond to. My body matches his movements with my pelvis. He’s so deep I can only imagine what his cock could do if I feel this full from just this alone. That thought sends me deeper in this erotic spiral I’m now swirling in.
My breathing is shallow.
He presses his thumb on that strange dot same as before and it feels like a small fire bellows in my lower abdomen. Past heavy eyelids I can see a sliver of the purple sunset behind Hyunjin. Just as the colours turn to a deep maroon, he adds another finger next to the one sliding in and begins curling them. Or maybe the colours changed after, I don’t know.
”Doing so well, petal, you’re so beautiful.”
Hyunjin kisses me while literally plunging his fingers in and out of me, hitting another strange spot whenever they find a c-shape. The two spots he expertly manouvers around trigger the fire and light it ablaze.
”Hyunjin, oh- oh my god,” I moan into his lips which still taste delicious. The kiss turns greedier when our tongues enter the play.
He swallows each prayer, each mention of his name, each moan, as if they’re something that sustains him. His fingers never cease, and as I separate from his lips for air and gaze down, I can see the veins on his forearm bulging.
It feels so good to be taken care of like this. To surrender like this. And I tell him as much with every sound I make as the blaze intensifies and I can’t contain it.
”So good, so perfect, fuck! I can feel you squeezing my fingers. Let go,” Hyunjin stares into my soul. ”Now.”
I comply. The curl in the right angle and the flick of his thumb on the right spot finally undo me.
My body surges forward to lean on my soldier’s strong-yet-bruised figure, a stiffled scream caught by his shoulder. I spasm against his now slowing hand.
I shatter and think I’ve gone blind.
”That’s it, you’re doing so good, such a perfect beauty.”
I keep shivering against him as his touch gently leaves the area he just discovered for me. A sweet kiss lands on my forehead and I suddenly realize how much I’m panting and sweating.
”What- I- What just happened?” I sigh before lifting my head long enough to catch my favorite lips in a kiss. Hyunjin chuckles (my favourite sound in the world) and guides me to sit down with him, once again finding sanctuary against the tree we’ve relied on.
I’m aware that I’ve just had my first orgasm, I just didn’t realize that’s actually what they were like. My body feels oddly relaxed and entirely new to me.
I also see Hyunjin’s body in a new light. His fingers and hands and lips especially, but I also notice the strain in his trousers remains. I want to take care of him like he did of me. My right hand descends to his thigh.
”Let me-”
”No, petal, it’s alright,” he stops me with both words and actions, as his long fingers now find they have to arrest me by my wrist. ”I meant what I said. And trust me, the mess is completely different. I’m satisfied if you are.”
I want to protest, because I’d like to keep going, but he looks steadfast. The accepting hum I give as a response makes him smile, and he pulls me even closer.
”Was that the firs-”
”Yes.”
”Petal, you didn’t know what I was-”
”Yes, I did. And yes. All of it.”
”Even the kiss?”
”Mhm,” I nod against his shoulder, eyes on the last strip of light quickly making its exit as the world turns to darkness around us. The makeshift lights in the encampment creep up to take their space as the only source of luminescense. ”Is that… Is that strange?”
”No!” he quickly replies. ”I’m… I’m honoured.”
”I don’t think they give medals for that.”
”They should.”
”Agreed, I’m sure you’d have them all when it comes to things of this nature.”
”I wouldn’t. You have to do the things to receive the appropriate medals.”
As the question swells in my head with lightning speed, I’m practically forced to lift my head. ”You mean you haven’t-”
”No ma’am. I’ve only kissed before.”
”I don’t believe you.”
”I’d never lie to you,” he smiles softly with such sincerity it makes my heart turn into a sappy puddle, and then brings a hand to frame my face. ”I just know a lot about… certain things. I also meant what I said. I don’t care about our circumstances, and I promise to do my best to be worthy of you, if you’ll have me.”
The word circumstances drags me down from my high delusion that what just happened suddenly made everything else disappear. It truly felt like it in that intimate bubble. In some perverted way, in my societal frames, I am now - at least partially - a ruined creature, something less valuable. I haven’t had intercourse, but I’ve spent time alone with a man who is not my husband or suitor, I’ve also kissed and been touched by a man who is neither. In addition to that, Hyunjin is not… he isn’t considered… I don’t care.
My expression must seem dire because this sweet soul is so quick to continue. ”But I truly don’t want you to feel pressured, I do understand you have your name and family to think about. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, but I also promise I’ll never tell a soul what happened tonight and if you wish to forget it-”
I hastily lean in to kiss him as an attempt to bring him back from the ledge and to the thought of us, and to assure him I don’t wish to forget. I’ll never forget. If another bomb landed right now, I’d die feeling happy. In the span of an hour I’ve felt and heard the most romantic and intimate things I didn’t even think possible for someone like me.
”I don’t wish to forget,” I state, bringing my forehead against his.
Hyunjin opens his mouth to reply when a branch breaks.
”I wish I could.”
