#strettoshit

[joonguar]

Alien invasion

"I swear! I swear when they beamed me up that I- I-!"

"You what Jonghyun!? What did they- What did those aliens do to you!?”

"I got close, went to greet them you know? Brought flowers just like in that movie, brought them my best arrangement, wore my best underwear, made sure to lotion up my hands real good, and you know what they did?”

"What!?"

"They probed me.” 

===

Later the next day, when the aliens break through the barriers all around Seoul, the brave souls to take them on, the last hope, the ones that try to keep them at bay, keep them from harming the innocent Earthlings… All those at the front lines just so happen to be volunteers from Ristretto. 

Waiting to encounter the invaders, with a bouquet of purple snap dragons in hand, Jaejoong leans over to Chihoon (who happens to have a bouquet of pink roses) and whispers into his friend’s ear, “Do you think they’ll allow cameras on board those ships?”

[joonguar]

GODZILLA INVASION IN SEOUL

I THINK YOU MEAN GODZILLA INVASION IN RISTRETTO

Its a quaint morning in the Ristretto community, those early hours always nice, quiet, enticing for those that live or work outside the little pocket in Seoul. 

There’s never anything to fear at such an hour, not until the residents have sought out the local Cafe au Lait, their watering hole, gotten their coffee (that’s just maybe sprinkled with crack to keep customers coming back, because they sure as hell aren’t coming back for the constant molestation). 

Its within the early hour that the first rattling of teacups and coffee mugs occurs, the liquid sitting inside shuddering with an ominous ripple.

With the second rattle, a shrill woman’s scream pierces the air, that textbook horror movie cry. 

"Its got someone’s baby!!!!! Help! Help!!!!! A BABY!"

The teacups rattle in their places on the tables, and finally, the monster comes into view, an innocent baby girl in its clutches. 

Before Jaejoong even has a chance to speak up, Yongguk is sticking his head outside the cafe door and growling back formidably at the giant stomping its way in through the helpless community.

"DAMNIT ZELO! YOU CAN’T JUST WALK AROUND OUTSIDE LIKE THAT ANYMORE!"

The irritated cafe manager just goes back inside, grumbling to himself, wondering why they hadn’t managed to stunt Zelo’s growth with all that caffeine when he’d been a teenager.