a prompt: "i'm scared to love you" with intruality
Patton is an architecture student in his final year before qualifying, Remus is a tradesman working in urban housing builds. They met and formed a friendship with benefits on a night out and have been seeing each other reasonably regularly ever since.
Warnings: implied homophobic, classist family, non-explicit sex mention
AO3
***
The bell rang through the enormous old building, heralding the movement of hundreds of pairs of feet and the cacophony of voices through the halls. The central campus Art building had excellent acoustics for increasing volume, which was great only if, as they had, you scheduled all the class changes at once.
When Patton got down and out to the entrance, laughing with his friends, he was surprised to spot an out-of-place figure loitering at the bottom of the grand stone steps, standing just off to the side on the sidewalk as people streamed past. Patton’s steps faltered slightly and he gave a quick apology to his friends, saying he’d find them later, before pretending to double back and waiting until they were out of sight. Then he made a break for it, hurrying down to where Remus was waiting, hands thrust in the pockets of his paint-stained work overalls, a shyly hopeful smile on his face as he tried his hardest not to draw attention to the fact he was waiting for Patton.
Bless him for being the sweetest, most conscientious man the student had ever met.
“Hey,” Remus murmured when Patton got close, jerking his head off towards their usual hideaway; an alley halfway down the street with a conveniently well-kept back doorway to some shop or other they liked to sit on the steps of.
They didn’t hold hands, and Remus made sure to walk a little way ahead of Patton, turning to meet him as Patton hurried forwards for a frantic kiss once they were safely away from prying eyes. They kissed for a while, Patton secretly delighted by the extra inch or so Remus’s heavy duty work boots gave him, and the way the taller man’s strong arms wrapped so firmly around him.
“Mm, hi sexy,” Remus grinned when they pulled back, his dark curls dishevelled and cheeks flushed. “Guess you missed me too, huh.”
“You bet.” Patton kissed him again sweetly to prove his point. “It’s been too long. How’s the build going?”
They moved to sit on the steps, Patton snuggling himself back between Remus’s legs and tipping his head backwards so he could look up and see his face as it wrinkled in frustration. “Pretty good, actually. My foreman says I could definitely start discussing extra responsibility, so there’s that.” Patton watched the way his arm flexed as he lifted a hand to rake his wild curls back, small grin understating his pride at the accomplishment.
“That’s awesome! You must be super good at what you do,” the student beamed, twisting slightly. Remus played his fingers over his neck, making Patton shiver, smiling a strange smile.
“Yeah, I was actually thinking… Maybe I could take you on a date sometime to celebrate? A real one? Nothing fancy, just-” He took a steadying breath. “I really like you, Pats, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I know we haven’t really talked about it, but I’m kinda hoping you’d maybe want more? With me? We get along so well, and, like, the sex is great so-"
The sound of Remus clearing his throat jolted Patton back to the present sharply, lost as he’d been in the slight panic of that proposal.
"Um,” he started uncertainly, looking away so he wouldn’t see the moment Remus’s face dropped. “I don’t know, Remus. I mean my friends, my parents… I just don’t want to try something out and love it, only to have to give it up when everyone finds out."
"But why would you have to give it up?"
"Because that’s my family, Re, you’re not rich, well-bred or female.”
Remus sounded desperate. “So we just date casually! But we spend a bit more time together, go out together, you know? Nothing serious!"
"And then when do we stop?” Patton countered quietly. “I’m scared to love you, Remus. Because that’s where it’ll go! Can you promise me you’d stop before you got too attached because I can’t!”
“I’m scared to love you, too,” Remus said, voice turning firm. “But I would fight your family a thousand times before I quit just because of a little fear, when carrying on means exactly that. Loving you.” Patton groaned, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in them, trying to tell himself he didn’t feel the same way. “I’m scared because I stand to lose a lot more here, patty-cake. But think of what we could gain…” He curled around Patton’s back, kissing under his ear and whispering, “and in truth? I’m already more'n halfway there.”
Patton turned around at that, reading the truth in Remus’s eyes and pulling his face down for a slow, deep kiss.
It settled an ache deep in his chest that was probably his heart, and he knew his answer by the time they finally parted, panting softly against each other’s lips.
“I’m scared to love you. I might always be scared. But I think you’re right- why not do it anyway?” Remus’s blinding smile grew and grew. “Date me?” Patton asked, shy in the face of all that pure joy.
“Oh Patton. I am going to date you so hard. Just you wait!"
And hell, maybe Patton was more than halfway there too, if the way his heart fluttered was any indication…
