Unexpected Comforts (Junkmetra)
When Symmetra finally realized that Vishkar had been lying to her and using her since the moment they picked her up from the slums, she did not take it well.
She’d go from sobbing at their betrayal and cruelty, then to defensive and full of denial, then she’d go searching for evidence to prove that Vishkar was good and find more proof of the opposite. Then she’d pick apart her life with them, horror-striken, and analyze every thing they’d ever asked of her, then go back to crying and start the whole cycle over again.
Junkrat had been keeping an eye on her out of concern, since over the time he’d spent with her in the workshop, he knew how much the company meant to her. It was the only thing she’d knew of family after they picked her up from a dangerous slum as a child and she had based her self-worth on the hard work she’d done with them and the praise they had given her and rankings she had climbed up over the years. So he kept watching her, hoping she’d wake up and realize that Vishkar wasn’t worth all this pain she was putting herself through and drop them.
But after a few days of watching this cycle unfold from hearing her from outside her door and from her few trips outside her room, he decided that he’d just have to convince her to cut ties with Vishkar. It was for her own good.
He’d knocked on her door, and when she’d told him that she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now, he told her through her door that she was better off and that they’d make her a hard light arm that was even better than the one they gave her and then she could chuck her old arm at her old bosses and tell them to get stuffed. He told her that she had every builder and genius in Overwatch who had her back and that he knew from Old Angel Wings that they’d love to have her on as a full time member. He wanted her to know that she could cut the ties, that she didn’t have to stay with them to keep her hard light or her career as a well known and loved architect, that she could do that here, surrounded by people who actually gave a shit about her.
But when he finished his little statement and she opened her door. Instead of having her tell him that they’d need to get to work on the new arm quickly and start going over how she wanted to design it, she snapped at him to leave her alone, that she didn’t want to talk about it right now before shutting the door in his face. But while the door hadn’t been open for very long, he had noticed that her her eyes red and puffy from crying... but also from what looked like a lack of sleep.
And that made him mad.
She was losing sleep crying over a bunch of bastards who had used her for years! Why? They weren’t worth losing sleep over! They weren’t worth anything! They had used her and made her do things that she was ashamed off and that she could never wash her hands of! why was she-
then it hit him. Vishkar probably would find out she knew what they’d done sooner or later. And what do suits do when they realize someone knows their dirty little secrets?
Well, dead blokes don’t tell tales and dead sheilas can’t tell the world that her bosses were brainwashing, city burning monsters.
So, he made it his mission to try to make sure she felt safe. After all, when you feel safe, you can get some rest and/or have some good ideas. (for him it was more the second thing, but he’d take either one for ‘Metra to snap out of this and tell those brainwashing bastards to get fucked.)
He’d done everything he could think of to try to make sure she felt safe here, he’d placed traps outside her windows and doors at night, he convinced Roadie to take shifts outside her bedroom door (they asked D.va to look out for her in the sheila’s room and showers if she left her room to do that, he and Roadie were gentlemen, after all, and a gentleman never looks at a sheila in those places unless invited. They’d leave that kinda shit to the wankers at Vishkar.) and slipping little tools he made to defend herself with on the trays of food he and Roadie would bring her with little notes on how to use them.
But she’d gotten mad at him instead and told him, in a much politer way than last time, to bugger off and dumped his little defensive tools in his hands before closing the door in his face again.
Bloody hell, the dark circles under her eyes were getting bigger.
Shit.
Well, what now? He tried telling her straight up, he tried making her feel safe...
“What ‘m I gonna do, Roadie?” He asked his massive partner in crime, “I don’ know how I can get ‘er ta see tha’ she should jus’ drop Vishkar ‘n stay ‘ere! Tha’ it’s betta for ‘er!”
“Why do you care?” the older Junker asked him.
The question took him by surprise.
Yeah, why did he care?
Maybe because he spent so much time with her in the workshop, both during the day and during the nights where his mind kept him tinkering until the early am, where she’d come in sometimes with tea, and how after the first time she’d found him there, she started bringing him some too. Or maybe the many times she’d bring him meals, no matter where he was at the time on base, telling him that she worried about his health and that since he didn’t sleep much, she hoped he would eat something. Or maybe it was just all the talks they had in between, on missions, around the base, in the workshop, over food...
“Well, if you really want ‘er ta listen,” Hog said, probably in a way to give him a break for his long (for him) thoughtful silence, “Maybe it moight be good to let ‘er know tha’ ya know how she feels. Tha’ could be what she needs most roight now, ta know tha’ she’s not th’ only one who’s felt this way ‘fore.”
“Yeah! Thanks, mate!” He said, then dashed off to her room, to try out this new plan.
He knocked on her door again, and when she told him to leave her alone, he blurted, “I-I know how ya feel, ‘Metra.”
To his shock and glee, she opened the door a bit at that.
He told her her that he knew what it was like to be betrayed by a suit when all you wanted to do was the right thing and help people. He told her all about how Hyde had lied to him and Roadie back in Sydney and how he’d been hurt at how he’d been used...
And it seemed to work, she opened her door more than she had before and seemed to be interested in what he had to say, her eyes red and puffy, her cheeks speckled with stale tears and lined with scratches from her own fingernails and the dark bags under her eyes, her pale face, her skinnier body...
He soaked all this in and then blurted out how they got back at the fuckers and offered to help her get payback on Vishkar, his anger at what they’d done to the usually confident and picture perfect sheila standing before him.
Yeah, that part didn’t go over so well, she got upset and closed the door in his face again.
He cursed under his breath and plopped down against against the wall opposite her door.
Okay, it was official now: He was terrible at this.
UGH! Terrible or not, he needed to do something! He hated seeing her like this!
He sucked in a breath to calm himself, like Mercy had told him to try instead of threatening to blow Zenyatta and Genji up again whenever they pissed him off, and then let it out. He did this three more times and considered Hog’s advice again.
He’d told her that he knew how she felt because of Hyde, but maybe that wasn’t the only way he could understand how she felt.
But how did she probably feel right now?
Well, she lost the closest thing she had to family, and found out that she’d been lied to for almost all of her life and had been used by people she’d trusted.
He’d felt that way right after he’d lost his parents when the omnium blew, he was lied to, used, tricked and betrayed...
But...
He stood, his eyes widening, there had been one thing that helped him through all of that. Maybe... maybe that could help her too. It was worth a shot.
He walked towards his room, the gears in his mind turning. If it was that, maybe Symmetra would finally realize what he was trying to get her to see.
_____
Symmetra’d had enough of Junkrat’s attempts to cheer her up. While she knew he was only trying to help her, she just wanted to be alone right now.
She had asked Angela to talk to him the next time he came to her door via a call to her cell phone and she had agreed, but had told her that she would need to come out and talk to everyone, Junkrat included, eventually and decide on what she wanted to do next.
Less than an hour later, she heard Angela’s voice call out, “Junkrat, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”
Symmetra dashed to the door and pressed her ear against it, hoping that he would back down easily, but knowing that Junkrat wasn’t the kind of man who backed down as much as walked away to grab a mine to jump over whatever was blocking his way if he hadn’t blown it up outright.
“Yeah, I know.” He replied, “Was jus’ gonna-.”
“Junkrat.” Angela said sternly, “She’s not in a good place right now, you need to leave her alone.”
“I know, I was jus’ gonna-.”
“Junkrat, I know you are only trying to help, but she needs time-”
“I KNOW!” He shouted, his tone fierce and frustrated, “I KNOW SHE NEEDS TOIME! BUT I SEEM TA BE TH’ ONLY ONE ‘ROUND ‘ERE WHO THINKS THEY’VE TAKEN ‘NOUGH OF ‘ER TOIME OVER TH’ YEARS! LYIN’ TA ‘ER, USIN’ ‘ER! WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO WASTE ‘ER TEARS ‘N SLEEP OVER ‘UM TOO! THEY DON’ DESERVE ANOTHER BLOODY SECOND OF HER TOIME ‘N SHE DESERVES BETTAH! WHY CAN’ SHE JUS’ DUMP ‘UM LOIKE THEY DESERVE ‘N MOVE ON!?!” he shouted, he then took a stuttering breath, and said, “I-I jus’ wanna give ‘er this fer th’ noight, ta help ‘er sleep. She needs it. Looks loike she hasn’ had a wink of sleep in weeks. Tha’ was all I was ‘ere ta do.”
Symmetra blinked in surprise. She hadn’t been sleeping, she was surprised that he had noticed when she had been cooped up in her room most of the time... well, except when he would talk to her...
Everyone else just would say something and leave when they didn’t get a response. Junkrat didn’t stop talking to her unless she opened her door and told him to leave.
But he’d always come back.
“I’ll leave ‘er alone aftah this. Struth. Jus’... jus’ wanna try one more toime.”
it was silent for a moment before Angela’s voice reached her from the other side of the door, “Satya?”
Symmetra sucked in a breath and opened the door a crack, “You promise to leave me alone after this?”
“Cross me heart.” He said, making an x with his metal finger on the wrong side of his chest.
“That is your lung.” Angela told him.
“Oh,” he said, then did another x on the other side, then pulled out a worn stuffed koala from behind his back, “This little guy helped me through a lot after th’ Omnium blew...” he said, his voice soft and thick with emotion, “Figured tha’ since ‘m not too good at helpin’ ya feel better, maybe ‘e can help. Even if it’s jus’ ta help ya sleep.”
She pushed the door open a bit further, then carefully took the stuffed toy from him, “Thank you.” she said, her voice a bit hollow.
“Roight, did what I said I’d do, leave ya alone now, noight ‘Metra. Noight doc.” He then walked back towards the boy’s side of the dorms, seeming to struggle to not look back.
“I’ll leave you be as well.” Angela said, “Good night.”
“Good night.” she echoed, then walked back into her room and closed the door behind her, inspecting the stuffed animal with a sharp eye.
It was old and worn, some parts were over stuffed and some under stuffed, there were uneven stitches in some places, there were a few oil and grease stains here and there and one of the eyes had been replaced with a bright orange button and kept in place with a faded blue thread.But despite it’s odd look, she could tell it was well loved and cared for by the very things that made it look so strange.
She gently rubbed the worn fabric and found that it was quite soothing to touch, and felt something twist in her stomach. This obviously was something Junkrat treasured, for all she knew, it could’ve been the first thing he’d ever stolen, or maybe a piece of the tiny bit of childhood he had before the Omnium was blown up...
That was right. He didn’t have much of a childhood before he had to live in a world of survival of the fittest without any family or friends...
She felt her throat go thick as she remembered what he’d said to her before:
“I-I know how ya feel, ‘Metra!”
He’d probably been lonely. And scared. And didn’t know what to do or where he could go after the Omnium blew. Only, unlike her, he didn’t have people he could look to for help or comfort, he didn’t have anyone he could trust, like she did here. He had to take care of himself for years.
“We can make ya a new arm! A better one!”
He had to make his own arm and leg out of garbage. He’d had to teach himself how to build and fight and survive...
She remembered the traps he’d set around her room at night and how he’d asked his bodyguard to take shifts with him to watch her door. She remembered the food trays he’d leave by her door at meal times with little knives and things with little drawings and notes in his scratchy handwriting, instructing her how to defend herself.
She remembered how angry he was when he was telling her about how Hyde had tricked them and used him and Roadhog.
She felt her eyes well up with tears.
He... he really did get it. He really did get how she felt. He’d probably gone through this so many times, that it was probably hard for him to understand why she would dwell on this for so long. After all, he’d grown up learning how to deal with this, that he stopped feeling upset whenever he’d be betrayed or hurt. He would just get angry and then get even to make sure it wouldn’t happen again.
She gave the koala a watery smile. Now that she understood that he really did understand what she was going through, she actually felt a little relieved. He’d been through this kind of thing since he was a small child, and he had managed to move on and even become a member of Overwatch and he didn’t have anything close to the things she had available to her now. If he could move on and leave those who had hurt him behind, maybe she could to.
“I-I think I want to leave Vishkar.” she found herself saying, her smile growing as a sense of odd comfort started to settle in her chest as she then said, “And... I think I want to stay here, instead.”
She hugged the somewhat dirty old toy to her chest, “Where people understand me.”
She then walked over to her bed and tucked herself in for the night. Smiling as she closed her eyes, and for the first time in weeks, felt herself fall into a deep sleep.
____
The next morning, Junkrat woke up to the sound of a knock at his door, “Fuck off.” He grumbled. He felt like shit, he couldn’t help ‘Metra feel better yesterday and then he kept having nightmares about her going back to Vishkar and getting hurt the same way he had back when he was a kid in Junkertown.
“Junkrat?” a familar voice called.
He stiffened for a moment, “’Metra?”
“C-Can I come in?”
He flopped out of his bed in shock before she called out for him again, probably concerned about the loud thump he had made when he fell.
“’M apples, come on in!” He cried, righting himself up in a sitting position and starting to put on his arm when the door opened for her.
She looked a lot better than she had yesterday, the dark circles were still there, but they were smaller. And there were no sign of any tears as she entered the room and closed the door behind her.
“Uh, how are ya feelin’?” He asked.
She smiled at him, her golden eyes sparkling as she held up his koala, “This little one was an unexpected comfort.” She said, “You were right about it helping.” She then glanced around for a clean spot to sit and he pulled his sheets onto the floor and patted on it with his flesh arm before putting on his peg leg.
She sat down and smiled up at him, “I have decided what I want to do now.”
He felt his heart rate spike with panic, “Yeah?” He squeaked.
“I am going to leave Vishkar.” She said, rubbing at the toy’s soft fabric out of what he would guess was nerves, “You are probably wondering what took me so long to decide this...”
“Nah.” He said, “I get why it was hard, it was all ya knew. It was hard fer me ta adjust ta loife outsoide Junkertown, but Hog was there ta help me so I wasn’ doin’ it alone.”
She stared at him, her fingers gently twirling around the button eye, “Do you think you can help me with adjusting to life outside of Vishkar?”
“think ya got more than jus’ me ta help ya.” He said with a smile, “Speakin’ of which, I think for yer new hard loight arm, we should make it shinier.”
“Oh?” she asked, smiling, “How so?”
“I got these really noice sapphires from one of our heists...” he began, gently taking her hand, “I figure we can use those as new fingernails. Then-”
Symmetra smiled as he talked about how they could ‘bling’ up a new hard light arm for her to show off how much better off she was without Vishkar. The little Koala sitting on her lap as Junkrat began pulling out gems from all over and holding them up to her arm.
Starting a new life here would be hard to adjust to, but with Junkrat and his unexpected ability to make her feel better, she had a feeling that she would be fine.
