in light of recent stuff, I just wanted to say this; actually I’ve wanted to say this sooner but this was the kick in the ass I apparently needed
I know that I’ve become one of those that has turned into a bubble rp-er. It’s terrible, and I hate that I’ve done it, because I cannot stand those types of rpers. I’ve literally become the thing I hate.
I’m sorry to everyone I’ve ever made feel left out.
I could toss the excuse of losing my mother and my grandfather in a span of two months (62 days, technically...don’t ask when I figured that out it was a bad bad night) and my brain just...not having the energy to focus on anything but ongoing threads or threads with people my characters have solid connection with but that’s not an excuse. I mean, it might be a pass to some, but it’s no excuse.
I don’t have an excuse if you don’t count the losing both a parent and my only father figure in two months (and if you don’t want to, you shouldn’t. I don’t fault you.)
The only reason I can give you is a lot of legal stuff has cropped up now that Grandpa is gone and being the one in the house taking care of him and having access to the papers that are important has made me a key player in sorting out the estate, more of one than I ever wanted to be, because now that my mom is gone I have to step up and take her place. And it’s exhausting. The last two weeks has been utterly exhausting.
I come on here, and I just...I’m not even going to lie, I don’t think twice sometimes. I just go to what my brain knows is owed and sort of just turn off. And I hate that it took seeing other people get bullied, which no one needs especially in this shit climate we’ve got going on, to deal with at all when they log on to a place that’s supposed to be fun. Because I’ve been there too, and it’s not fun when you try to play this person you love so much only to be shit on for it.
I’m sorry to anyone I’ve ever made feel left out. Whether it’s with Allie or with Chelsea. I want to do better. I want to be better. I will be better.
If you ever want something specific, please feel free to poke me in my DMs, I get Allie’s on one device and Chelsea’s on another so I’m bound to see it instantly, if not relatively soon.