a lil somethin somethin my filthy brain just couldn't shake. probably more to come because I really want to write Henry making Alex cry because I'm severely fucked up and I've also always wanted to write Alex in subspace and may have found my opportunity
“Beg for it, Alex.”
“Please baby, please,” Alex whimpered.
“Please what, love? I need you to tell me.”
“Fucking hurt me, Hen.” He finally admitted through gritted teeth.
Henry smirked and halted his gentle caressing of Alex’s ass, “Now was that so hard?” He returned his palm with a rough smack.
Alex huffed out a laugh and looked over his shoulder, back at his boyfriend who’s hand was poised for another spank, “Was that supposed to hurt?”
Henry’s jaw muscles set tightly and his gaze grew dark. Suddenly, Alex felt Henry’s hand wrap indelicately around his throat. Henry yanked up roughly, causing Alex to choke out a gasp. Once Alex was sitting up on his knees, back flush with Henry’s firm chest, he felt his breath ghost across his ear in a whisper, “Want to try that again, sweetheart?”
A high pitched whine escaped Alex’s lips. He tried to nod in response, but his movements were limited with Henry’s enormous hand wrapped around his throat.
Henry tsked behind him, “Fucking speak to me Alex.” He roughly threw Alex face down onto the mattress, manhandling him just the way he knew his sub liked.
Through a nearly choked sob, Alex pleaded, “Please baby, please hurt me. I want to see your marks on me for days, want to feel you every time I try to sit. Make me scream, make me cry, just please please please.”
Satisfied with Alex’s begging, Henry this time planted a firm smack to the back of Alex’s thigh just below his ass, where he knew he was acutely more sensitive.
(So, I got a really great prompt, and then didn’t actually address it at all. But here is Kara and Alex having a long awkward talk mostly about heterosexual sex. IT’S KIND OF GROSS. WARNINGS.)
6 years ago
"I'm going on a date!" Kara's tone was shrill and it sounded . . . a little panicked.
"That's great," Alex paged through her biochem textbook and grimaced at the thought of teaching the horde of Kara's age undergrads about molecular forces. The prof had made stupid metaphors about sex, irresistible attraction, etc, and it made her uncomfortable the whole time. Carefully categorized forces made a lot more sense to her than the idea that sometimes you saw someone and they saw you and you were drawn together like it was inevitable. Also, she didn't want to think about her ugly ass professor having sex. She'd known he hooked up with a grad student a few years ago and she always felt twitchy when they were alone in his office.
"I mean, it's kind of a date."
"Kind of?" Alex didn't want to know about her little sister's sex life. It had always hurt, knowing that Kara--no matter how weird and alien she was--had gone off to college and suddenly had a horde of friends and including at least three guys who wanted to date her, even if she couldn't pick up on that.
"We're going to a party at his frat."
"Oh god, Kara."
"Is that bad?"
"You have the worst taste in guys."
Alex could hear Kara pouting over the phone.
It was good to have the phone between them. She could keep her walls up that way. It was so hard to keep her walls up around Kara.
"He's not that bad. He likes Star Wars."
Alex sighed. "That's not actually code for 'I'm into aliens.'"
"Yeah, well," Kara's tone stiffened. "I want to have sex."
Alex froze. "Why?"
It had come out before she thought about it. Too honest. Stupid walls.
"Why?" Kara sounded confused. "Doesn't everyone?" She sounded more curious than disagreeing.
"No."
"Oh. Okay." Kara paused. "I think I do, though. I think about sex. Mostly worrying, because I don't want to hurt someone. But I think about it a lot. And humans talk about it all the time. And I haven't been naked with someone since--"
"Kara."
Alex flushed. One time she let the stupid alien get into the bath with her because she was sad and lonely and it reminded her of some weird Kryptonian practice and she'd never let her forget it. Not that Mom ever let her forget it either. She always glared when they hugged just a little too long. And Alex didn't like it when they hugged either. Well, the problem was that she did like it. Kara was always getting yelled at for using a bit too much of her superstrength when she hugged other people, and that was Alex's fault. She loved the pressure, wanted her spine to crack, wanted to be enveloped in Kara's strength and scent and hair for as long as possible.
But wanting it made her feel weak.
"What do you like?"
"Huh?" Alex felt derailed. She liked to be squished, she'd just been thinking that, but Kara couldn't know what she was thinking about--
"With sex. What do you like?"
Oh. Shit. "I dunno, Kara, why are you asking me? You've got friends."
"But-- You know."
Alex breathed out and tried to think. Thinking about her own experiences with sex was going to be futile. She liked guys up until the point where they kissed her, and then she didn't anymore. The best sex she'd had was with the most selfish assholes, because it was over fast, and they didn't ask her if she'd come or what she liked. Somehow they didn't want to hear that what she liked was for them to keep their pants on. And the things she thought about when she jerked off--the power and firmness holding her up against a door, the pressure of miles of water crushing her, fingers in her mouth, bent knuckles, weird and hard and hurting, but arousing enough to grind against her hand to relief, well, nope, she wasn't telling Kara about that either.
Alex breathed out. It wasn't really about her at all. "I like it when someone looks at me, and pays attention to me, and respects my boundaries." That's what she wanted for Kara. "I want them to be able to say how much they care about me, and mean it." God, she couldn't even do that for Kara. She needed to work on that. Kara might have friends and be more competent at being a human than Alex--who was born one--but she still needed love and support, especially because her cousin had just fucked off.
Kara sighed. "Yeah. That's nice. But really, um, do you like sucking dick?"
Alex dropped the phone. She scrabbled to pick it up. "Kara."
"I need to know these things! Isn't it kind of gross? It seems gross. Annie made us watch a porno the other day and I was like, oh ugh, is that what male human genitalia looks like up close? And people put their mouths on it? And you're the only one I really know has done it and won't just bullshit at me."
"You know I've done it?"
"Um," Kara gulped. "Superhearing."
"I was three miles away from you!"
"I wanted to know where you were!"
"Boundaries, Kara!"
"I'm sorry!"
Alex huffed out her annoyance. There was no point in having boundaries with an alien who could see and hear you through walls and miles of distance. She might as well be naked in the tub with her all the time. "Fine. Then no. I don't like it. It is gross. But also, there's never been someone I liked enough to want to do it for, okay? They say it's different if--" --if pleasing them makes you happy. Alex knew what that felt like. She'd just never felt it with any of her boyfriends.
"So if I don't like it, it's okay?"
"It's okay." Alex sighed. "And if you don't want to try it, you can say no. And make him wear a condom."
"For a blow job?"
"Yes. You might not be able to pick up human diseases, but we don't know that for sure. And it's a teaching opportunity, so he knows to do it with other girls."
"I see." Kara sighed. "I'm just worried I'll have to."
"Why?"
"Well, what if--" Kara swallowed. "I'm strong, right? And if he's inside me and I flex too hard--"
Alex shut her eyes. Wow, that was an image she didn't need--and Kara didn't deserve. "You've just got to stay in control."
Kara sighed. "Doesn't that defeat the point?"
"Kinda." Alex rubbed the back of her head. "Kara, I'm going to be really honest here. So please never mention this again. But, I've been with guys. You know about the blow job incident. I've tried, at least . . ." she counted on her fingers, "--four times with the other stuff. And it's never been worth it. And it doesn't matter who it is really, even Brian--"
"You really liked Brian."
"Yeah." Alex shrugged. "He was smart and funny and really great. I thought maybe it would be different. But it was just-- underwhelming. He was sensitive enough to figure that out which . . . spelled the end. But I'm just saying, it isn't the be all end all. If you never do it, or never enjoy it, if you would rather have bathtub hugs, it's okay. You're not weird."
Saying the words made a weird feeling release in Alex's chest. Not weird. She wasn't weird either, for not being into it. The masturbation fantasies might be a different story, but people fantasized about all sorts of bullshit.
"Thanks, Alex."
"Also!" Alex remembered something she'd read somewhere--though she couldn't remember where. "Sex isn't just him fucking you. Your fingers won't break. You can both jerk off and watch each other, you can both use your mouths. Just say you aren't ready for, uh, penetration, and you can figure things out."
"Wow," Kara breathed out. "I never thought-- I never thought you'd really talk to me about this."
Alex's eyes stung. "Well, I'd never thought I'd get the words out. But you said 'suck dick' first, so I figured it was anything goes."
Kara laughed, a little high, a little breaking. "I wish--"
Her tone had changed a little and Alex suddenly felt tense.
"Kryptonians didn't do this kind of thing. Intimacy was important, but . . ."
"It was more like naked bathtub time?"
Kara was silent for a few minutes. Alex wished she hadn't said the words, but it wasn't as if she'd ever forget how it felt, the heat rising from the water, Kara's front pressed up against her back, her chin on her shoulder, the firmness with which she was being held. The things she'd wanted then, not sex, not anything like the sex she'd had, but just to stretch out, front to front, Kara's weight heavy against her, her wet hair, like a silk curtain swirling through the water over her face. Kara's tongue in her mouth, keeping her underwater, and sinking into her, giving her a mouthful of air every time she needed to breathe.
It wasn't supposed to end with Mom sticking her head in. "Alex, have you seen--" Her mom had seen a lot more than she'd ever wanted to.
Alex wasn't supposed to want that. She wasn't supposed to feel that way. It was weird and dangerous and she'd heard stuff about autoerotic asphyxiation. And it was supposed to be Kara's time, time for connection, when she'd lost all the connections she'd ever known. It wasn't supposed to be prurient.
"I love you, Alex." Kara's voice was so soft.
"I love you too."
And there it was. It wasn't so hard to say after all.
