“Okay so.. that’s the clit..?” Two of SAM MONROES big and uncoordinated fingers spread your folds, strings of your arousal clinging to your pinkish nub
You were sat with your legs apart, letting your boyfriend peak around your pussy. He was curious - bless him - and he wanted to know what he was doing. So after an embarrassing talk you assured him he could take a look and you’d answer his questions. “Yes baby, that’s the clit. It’s like.. your tip. When I’m horny it gets harder and sensitive.” Your lips quirk up.
“Ooohhhh..!” You could see the lightbulb in his head. “Ahh okay. That’s not hard to find at all!” His brows furrow and you giggle. His thumb comes up and he starts pressing and moving on it like a video game controller. Immediately you twitch and squirm.
You stop his finger and gently pull it away. “Not quite babe. It’s not a button. You have to play with it. Like this.” Taking your middle and ring finger as reference, gently rubbing the sides of your clit. You moan at your own gentle touch, even more so at the knowledge that your boyfriend was watching you.
Sam moved your hand out of the way “I got it..” he murmurs, almost petulantly. He takes the same two fingers and gently rubs your nub from the side, rolling and pinching gently while observing your reaction.
“Oh yeah.. mhm.. mmm Sammy..” you nod in approval, egging him on.
Sam beams at your gentle praise “I didn’t know you could get.. this wet..” he mumbles, eyes fixed at your arousal, licking his lips while you move your body in rhythm with his fingers.
You laugh a bit and lean back, letting your body relax into the pleasure. “That means you’re doing it right..” you giggle. It’s only a few minutes of Sam delicious stimulation before your egging him on to move faster.
“More..m’gonna cum..” your legs twitch and your body arches. Sam had never seen such a wonderful sight. He was drunk off the thought that you were about to cum from his hands, from his doing.
Your orgasm is small but satisfying. Exactly what you needed for a demo on your boyfriend rubbing your clit. Sam continues rubbing you through, your legs jerked and hips twitched “you can stop now!” You pull his fingers away from the overstimulation.
“Oh.. sorry..” he blushes sheepishly. Biting the inside of his cheek and looking between your pussy and his now slick fingers, he sucks is your arousal and cum off them.
You open your eyes and smile at his action. “How’s it taste?”
omfg omfg imagine sam cant get off without being choked so while riding him or jerking him off whatever hes like begging to be choked so he can cum even if he’s being a dom, doesnt matter he like NEEDS IT
a/n: zapz your requests always hit different. hope u likeeee <3
You had him right where you wanted him—beneath you, flushed and trembling, his fingers digging into your hips as you moved. Sam was always like this, needy, sensitive, every little movement pulling a whimper from his lips. But tonight? Tonight, he was worse.
Every time your hand left his throat, he grabbed it again, dragging it back, silently begging. His breath hitched every time your fingers pressed into his skin, pupils blown wide as he stared up at you, completely wrecked.
But when you let go again, testing him, watching as he immediately grabbed your wrist and tried to force your grip back around his throat, you finally had enough.
Swiftly, you pinned his hand down against the sheets, your body stilling over him. His whine was immediate, frustrated, desperate, his hips jerking upward in protest.
“No.” Your voice was firm, unwavering, and his breath hitched at your tone. “If you want something, use your fucking words and ask for it.”
Sam blinked up at you, lips parted, chest rising and falling fast. He was so used to taking what he wanted in little ways, pulling and grabbing, hoping you’d just give in. But now? Now he had to say it.
He squirmed under you, trying to push against your grip, but you didn’t let up.
“Well?” You raised a brow, waiting.
His face burned red, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, but after a moment, his voice finally broke through the haze. Soft, strained, desperate.
“Please…”
You leaned down, lips ghosting over his jaw, your grip tightening slightly on his wrist.
“Please what?”
His breath stuttered, his free hand gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles went white.
“Please—choke me.”
A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. “Good boy.”
Summary: After falling pathetically in love; Sam Monroe decides to give Valentine’s Day a chance.
Pairing: Sam Monroe x popular!Fem reader
Warnings: annoying Sam, use of “faggot” (in a playful way) and “gaybo” (derogatory), lwk self loathing, loser in love Sam, kinda a heavy make out sesh, semi public smut, dry humping, premature ejaculation ? Whimpering Sam, reader teases him and he gets off on it.
A/N: this is lwk self insert and I’m not ashamed abt it. Also I lwk hate it but wtv :( happy vday!!
“Naw bro, she’s fine as fuck” Josh nudges his friend as you walk past. You’d switched high schools and joined the previous semester. It’s as if you were an overnight success, fresh blood, pretty face, and rich parents, a recipe for being the top of the social ladder.
Even sad, mopey, emo Sam Monroe wasn’t immune to your charm
“Fuck off dude, she’d never go for you. You look and act like a faggot. She needs a strong man.” Josh’s friend flexes and raises his eyebrows up and down at you. You rolled your eyes playfully and continued walking to class.
With a scowl, Sam’s eyes followed the whole interaction. What of you did want him? Why did he care? Sam didn’t want you, or your preppy attitude, you fluffy hair that fell above your boobs, your low rise Abercrombie & Finch jeans that barely pass dress code— No. No. He didn’t care about or notice you. You or your big eyes and full lips— No.
And he especially didn’t notice you or the way his heart rate sped up when you smiled at him.
——
If there’s one thing Sam hated more than his father it was P.E. You were the only thing that made the class tolerable. Except he didnt think that because he barely noticed you or your teeny Juicy Couture shorts at all.
Even worse than P.E. (And Sam’s dad) was dodgeball. Fuck dodgeball. Sam thought as he stood in the corner of the gym and watched all the popular guys peacock for your attention.
A star ball hit Sam in the face, and the accompanying voice of one of the jocks followed “you’re out gaybo! Sit the fuck down!” And Sam rolled his eyes, sitting down as he flipped off the guy.
Like a guardian angel sent by a god he didn’t believe in, you threw a ball at the jock and got him out, playfully flipping him off like Sam did.
You go up to Sam and offer a hand. “C’mon, you’re back in. You okay? Looked like a nasty hit.” You smile.
Despite the bit of chill in the winter air, Sam felt a warmth spread across his face. “Yeah no.. whatever. Im good. Im fine” he scoffs, taking your hand to get up and dropping it suddenly when he realizes he just accidentally held your hand
“M’kay” I smile and saunter off to keep playing.
——
“It doesn’t mean anything. Shes nice to everyone” Sam sighs and rubs his face as he and Corey sit in the roof of his station wagon.
Corey takes a long inhale of their shared cigarette “yeah but..” he exhales “she helped you.. or some shit. I don’t know. But I can feel it. She likes you dude” he lays back.
Sam leans back and looks up at the sky, biting his bottom lip in contemplation. “Yeah but— fuck man. I can’t just ask her to be my valentine. That’s corny. And she probably has one” Sam sighs
Corey rolls his eyes “does she even entertain the other guys? There’s no harm in asking. Just like, buy her flowers or chocolate or something I don’t know. But ask her” Corey takes a puff.
“Y’know what. Fuck it man. I’ll ask” Sam nods and takes the cigarette, taking a long breath in and letting the exhale dwindle away in the night sky, his mind on you, you and your plump lips..
“Do you think Angel likes roses?” Sam groans
Corey huffs “probably. Get some chocolate too. Shit dude, maybe even a card” he giggles.
——
Walking through the halls of the school had never been so embarrassing. Who did Sam think he was? Using the little bit of cash he had that he’d usually spend on weed for chocolate and stupid flowers? It was too late to back down now. He had to focus.. but even as you got closer he could feel your eyes on him..
Clutching the six roses in his hand, Sam clears his throat to get your attention. “Hey.. uhm— could I talk to you..?” He murmurs and looks around at your friends. Your popular friends, all hanging around your locker. This was a bad idea.
The gentle smile that teased the corner of your lips almost made him forget to breathe “Of course.” You smile and lead him away to a different hallway “we’ll be right back” you look back at your friend then focus on him.
Oh god he was going to do it. “Uhm.. I was wondering if maybe you’d like.. I dunno.. be my valentine?” He murmurs and holds out the roses, opening his backpack and grabbing the chocolate.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at you, he was so close to just walking away, but the gentle sound of your giggles bring his gaze back. “Of course I will Sammy” you take the gifts “thank you, these are beautiful.
He was shocked. You said yes? This was a joke. A bet. You were just pitying him. “Really?” He whispers, not quite registering that you actually agreed. “Well uhm.. how about I like.. take you to dinner..?” He spews before his mind can catch up with his mouth.
You smile wider “Yes really. And I’d like that.” You take out a notebook and scribble down two things “here’s my number and address. Let me know the details” you kiss his cheek “Bye Sammy”.
He’s eyes followed you like a magnet “See ya..” he mumbles, bringing a hand up to where you kissed him, gently touching the spot with the pads of his fingers.
——
Nervous wasn’t even in the ballpark of emotions he was feeling. This still had to be some elaborate prank, a joke, never mind that he’d called you 3 times and told you to be ready for a dinner he planned, his heart swelling at the excited tone of your voice. You’d stand him up, he’d drive to your house like an idiot and you’d tell him you weren’t serious.
Telling his parents was arguably just as nerve wracking.
<<Hey mom uhm, could you help me.. maybe?>> Sam mumbled to his mother, Robin, as she cooked dinner, her eyes widened in surprise as not only did her angsty son talk to her, but he was asking for help?
She smiled << yeah i suppose.. with what..?>> her tone was gentle, almost hesitant.
Sam shrugged <<I uhm.. like.. maybe have a Valentine’s Day date..>> he cleared his throat and had to stop the smile as his mom rattled on about who you were and then helped Sam with all the details.
Standing at the door of your very nice home, in his only pair of decent dress slacks and a black button down, Sam clutched the bouquet of roses his mom helped pick out and rang the doorbell.
A middle aged woman with sleek brown hair answered the door. “Ah, you must be Sam” she smiles.
Sam nods, running a hand through his black and blue hair “yeah.. that’s me” he gives a lopsided smile “is your daughter ready?” He asks.
“She should be.” Your mom turns into the house “darling! Your dates here!” And the click clack of heels meets Sam’s ears.
You looked stunning. Breathtaking. Sam was flummoxed as he met your gaze. Your dress was a beautiful blush color, and your makeup matched. Sam reminded himself to blink as you approached “Hey.. happy Valentine’s Day” he quirked up his lips and held out the bouquet of flowers.
“These are gorgeous. Thank you” you smile and take his hand, this time on purpose, and walk to his car. Sam opens the passenger seat before climbing in the drivers seat and twisting his key.
Mr. Self destruct by Nine Inch Nails starts to play up again and Sam quickly turns it off “Sorry.. I was uh..” he flushes with sudden embarrassment at his music taste.
You turn the dial back up “don’t apologize. I’d be happy to listen to the music you enjoy” you smile and admire his side profile as he drives, your eyes drawn to the way his hands fiddle with the gear shift, taking in the faint scent of weed that lingers on the leather seats. It was so him, so perfect.
——
The date was perfect. A beautiful awkward mix of Sam’s corny jokes and your elegant aura. It became clear that not only was it not a pity date, but maybe you actually liked him back? He tried not to let himself dwell on the idea. But as the server called you guys “cute” and you just thanked him, Sam could feel himself falling deeper into this boyish crush.
Walking out of the restaurant hand in hand, Sam decided to deviate from his original plan “We should get ice cream. I know this lookout point I smoke at sometimes. It’s perfect for stargazing” the sudden boost of confidence he had talking for him.
“I’d like that a lot” you take his hand and walk to his car.
——
For the first time Sam felt like the universe was on his side. Eating ice cream on Valentine’s Day, sitting in the open trunk of his car with the girl he likes and watching the stars after a successful date, the only thing that would make it better was if he didn’t have a raging boner from watching you lick cream off your lips.
As you got down to the bottom of your cone and started to lick the melted desert off your fingers, Sam wiggled and tried to pull away. But you noticed. Of course you noticed.
“Something wrong?” You look at him and scoot closer.
He swallowed audibly “nothing.. nothing wrong.. I’m great” he shakes his head vehemently.
You lean your head closer, the hot air mingling between you “you sure? You look flushed” you giggle and tease.
He dares to lean in “am not!”
You smile “are too” and then your lips attach. The kiss is heavy, full of Sams insecurity and your desire. His inexperienced tongue moves around your mouth, his pants growing tighter from the taste of your lips.
Climbing onto his lap, you finally see the source of his awkwardness “mmm.. is that what’s wrong?” You tease and gently move your hips over his hard on.
Sam gasps into the kiss, whimpering and letting his mouth part “y-yeah..” he stutters, trying to latch onto his last shred of gentlemanly thoughts.
“You’re so adorable” your giggles make him flushed.
“I’m not adorable.. I’m.. I dunno..” he stutters pathetically, panting into the kiss and bucking his hips up.
You keep moving “pretty sure you are. You’re whimpering like a loser. A cute loser” you kiss and suck on his jaw.
Sam lets out a moan “nuh uh..” he tries for the last time to hold on, but as he opens his eyes and meets your gaze, he’s done for. With one finally little whine, he cums in his pants, bucking his hips up and kissing you.
Both if you look at eachother with wide eyes, the look in his is terrified, the look in yours in playful “did you just..?” And he tears up
“Sorry.. ‘m so sorry.. couldn’t help it..” he pouts and looks at his lap.
You flick his nose to get his attention “I’m not mad Sammy.. that was.. hot” he giggle and kiss him again.
“Hot..?” He mumbles and his hands find your waist.
“And pathetic. Hot and pathetic.” You confirm with a nod of your head.
please please sub sam i’m actually in a drought i need that bratty bitch
I gotchu Zapz <3
“Fuckin’ liar Monroe..” you breathe into his ear while your hand pumps up and down his leaky cock a pathetic whine leaving his bitten lips. The same SAM MONROE that insisted he was talented in the bedroom.
“I’ll make you fucking scream my name” he said
“I’ve been with so many girls, I’ll know how to please you” he said
“You won’t be able to walk after” he said
All these statements said with a confidence that shattered the minute he saw you in a state of undress, as if the image of your tits had triggered a sleeper cell spy reaction from him. Now the same teenage boy that promised to pound you was whining and splayed out in your bed like a bitch while you have him a lousy handjob. The brows that once smoldered at you were now knit together and furrowed.
“M sorry! Okay? You never.. mmpphh.. nagh..” he let out a high pitch whine “would done anything with me.. if you knew..” he argued.
“If I knew what?” You tease “a virgin?”
“I’m not a virgin!” He huffs, but his eyes and body insist otherwise.
The smile drops form your face instantly, leaving only the look of a women who was about to make Sam regret ever talking back, and it made him impossibly harder “yeah? How about you say that to how you’re reciting to me?” You raise your brows and drop your ministrations on his cock.
“No! I.. ‘m not.. I just.. ‘m sorry, okay?” He huffs and looks away, muttering ‘bitch’ under his breath
Your playful teasing turned into genuine harshness as you have his creamy thigh a smack “oh? Well how about I show you how much of a bitch I can be? How about you don’t cum the entire night yeah? If you’re so sexually well versed you can handle that, right?” You spit into your palm and begin to agonizingly slowly pump his cock once again
“Please! I didn’t mean it!” He winced at the slap, but the twitching of his member and the pre leaking from the tip was all you needed.
You chuckle, “well it sounds like you did.” You taunt, brining a hand to his neck and squeezing it ever so slightly “open.” You demand, and he replies instantly, sticking his tongue out.
“Good boy” you coo and spit into his mouth, he whines and swallows it without being asked, making it so you pump his cock just a tad faster.
“See? That’s what happens when you listen” you coo into his ear “bitch.”
sam physically cant cum without being choked like he begs to be choked he like fr NEEDS that shit even if hes a “dom” or whatever he has to choked to finish.
thankyou im right as always fuck the rest of yall
Hear ye hear ye! For Lady Zapz has spoken upon this blog!
Doesn’t he literally jork it to trying to hang himself?
“Please.. please.. I need— ohhhmmpphh..” Sam whines pathetically into the crook of your neck. You’d been riding him for not even 5 minutes, but he was already clawing at the supple flesh of your hips and whimpering like a baby.
You giggle at your boyfriend’s submissive display “what do you need Sammy? Use your words. I know you can.” You tilt his head up and lock gazes with his now glassy eyes. The natural powder blue of his iris now pushed to the edges by how blown his pupils are.
Sam furrows his brows together, rivulets of sweat threatening to fall down his crinkled forehead. “Please.. need your hand” he whimpers desperately. He shakily grips your wrist and moves it up to his clavicle.
Confused, you gently squeeze the skin there and he lets out a breathy moan, your eyes widen as it dawns on you.
That pathetic bitch wanted to be choked.
“Oh sweet boy..” you coo and start to bounce faster. Sam could feel the familiar aching in his balls, but it wasn’t quite enough.
“I.. humph… ahh..” his eyes roll back as you gently love your hand up his creamy neck, applying pressure just below his Adam’s apple.
His mouth falls open as soon as he feels the fuzzy breathlessness, bucking his hips up, he cums almost as soon as you apply more pressure. Whines and whimpers leave his throat as you press harder to let his ride out the after shocks, only letting up when you feel his body calm down.
“You’re such a slut you know that?” You tease
He smiles “mmm.. your slut..” he slurs out
“Yea. My slut. My desperate baby boy.” You coo into his dyed hair.
“Hmm..?” The noise left SAM MONROES lips as you pumped his sleeping cock.
it’s not your fault, it’s his. He went to sleep in only a KORN shirt and boxers, he was practically begging for you to touch him.
Your hand trailed up and down his slim torso as you two spooned, his back to your chest, your hand trailing lower and lower until you were gently palming his growing bulge from over his too tight boxers.
He wants this, he needs this. You told yourself to try and wash off any creeping up guilt. It’s his fault for being so pretty when he sleeps, he should be ashamed. Your hand went under the elastic of his boxers and you softly cupped his heavy balls. Your movements froze when he started to squirm a bit, but after he settled down and continued his steady breathing your hand continued.
Freeing his aching erection from his pre cum stained underwear, you licked your hand and gently started to stroke him, using his sticky pre as lube for move movement.
You could tell when he was close, he started to whimper involuntarily, lips parted as his breathing deepened. Though you knew he wasn’t awake, you also didn’t care. You were in too deep, so close to having Sam cum on your hand like a pathetic bitch.
A choked “hnngoph..” left his lips as he shot his sticky load into your hand. You continued your ministrations, teasing his now angry tip, and his eyes fluttered open. “What the fuck..?”
You pepper kisses along his jaw “shhh.. it’s just me.. sleep baby boy” you murmur and he ends, laying his head back down and bucking into your hand to ride out the rest of his high.
may i humbly and sincerely request more puppy sam it’s not funny anymore i need him so bad
LIKE HELLOOOO DO YOU GET ME
I GET YOU ZAPZ I GET YOU. here's more puppy sam <3
CW: smut, handjobs, puppy play, collars, sub sam, degradation, cum eating
Sam was on his knees, his head bowed, the collar snug around his neck. The metal tag jingled softly as he shifted, his breath coming in short, desperate pants. Your hand was tight on the leash, tugging it just enough to make him whimper.
"Be a good puppy and be quiet," you ordered, your voice low and commanding as your hand stroked him with slow, deliberate movements. "And don't you dare make a mess. You cum when I tell you to, got it?"
He bit down on his lip, trembling as he tried to obey, but the way your grip tightened on the leash had him melting.
The tension in his body was almost unbearable, his hips jerking slightly despite himself.
"Ah, please," he whimpered, his voice high and strained, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he struggled to hold back.
"Shh," you hushed him, tugging the leash harder to pull him closer. "I said quiet. Puppies don't talk, do they?"
He shook his head frantically, his nails digging into his thighs in a desperate attempt to stay grounded. But when your hand moved faster, the rhythm deliberate and unforgiving, his resolve crumbled.
"I-I can't-" he stammered, his voice breaking, and before he could stop himself, he let go, a choked moan escaping his lips as he spilled over your hand, his chest heaving.
You stilled for a moment, your grip on the leash firm as you looked down at him, raising an eyebrow. "Bad dog," you said, your tone sharp but laced with amusement. "I told you not to make a mess."
Sam's face burned with shame, his breath hitching as he looked up at you with wide, tearful eyes. He knew what was coming next.
"Clean it up," you commanded, releasing the leash just enough for him to lean forward.
He nodded quickly, his cheeks flushed, and obediently lowered himself, his tongue darting out to lap up his puddle of cum as you watched with a satisfied smirk.
"That's better," you cooed, tugging the leash again to keep him under control. "Maybe next time you'll listen, hmm?"
Sam let out a muffled whimper, utterly at your mercy, his entire body trembling as he worked to prove he could still be your good little puppy.
in my professional opinion, i think sam is like such a bratty bitch like cmon man i know he got mad backtalk, but i also need to hear my other professionals opinion, over to you 🎤
a/n: 🎤 thank you zapernz. in my professional opinion, he needs the brattiness edged out of him. (btw i love getting asks from u theyre so fun to write)
CW: sexual content, bratty sub sam monroe, dom reader, orgasm denial, 763 words
Sam Monroe would push every button you had, fully aware of the consequences. He’d start with small jabs—smirking as he leaned lazily against the wall, arms crossed, the picture of defiance. “What’s the matter? You look tense. Rough day? Maybe I can help,” he’d say, his voice dripping with sarcasm, his eyes daring you to react.
As the day wore on, the pokes turned into full-on backtalk. Snide comments, smug little grins, and pointed remarks that had your patience fraying by the minute. And when you finally grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the bedroom, his cocky smirk only widened.
“Oh, is this my punishment? I’m so scared,” he’d sneer, even as you shoved him onto the bed. “What’re you gonna do? Lecture me? Please, this is cute.”
Your calm demeanour as you crawled onto the bed, straddling his hips, seemed to throw him off for just a moment—but not enough to stop the snark. His words faltered as your hands trailed down his chest, slipping beneath his shirt. “Still mouthing off?” you’d ask, voice low and dangerous.
“What, you’re gonna keep asking questions or—ahh—” His voice caught as you rolled your hips against his, grinding just enough to make his breath hitch.
“Finish that sentence,” you whispered, your tone razor-sharp. He squirmed, his bravado faltering for a split second before he plastered that cocky smirk back on his face.
“Is that all you’ve got?” he taunted, but his breath hitched again when your hand slid lower, palming him over his jeans. You could feel him hardening beneath your touch, and his attempts to maintain control were laughably transparent.
“Still talking,” you murmured, your fingers deftly unbuttoning his jeans, sliding them down his hips. He lifted them just enough to help you, but the moment you leaned back to rake your eyes over him, he was back at it.
“Gonna take all day, or—fuck—” His taunt dissolved into a sharp gasp as your fingers brushed over him, light and teasing, through the thin fabric of his boxers.
You leaned close, your lips just grazing his ear. “What was that? Didn’t quite catch it.” Your hand moved slowly, torturously, up and down, the friction just enough to make his hips jerk.
“J-just saying you’re taking your sweet—shit—time,” he managed, though his voice was trembling now, his cock straining against the fabric as you continued your maddeningly slow pace.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’ve got all the time in the world,” you replied, your tone dripping with mock sweetness as you slipped your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, tugging them down with deliberate slowness. His breath caught, his hips lifting instinctively to help you, but his mouth was still running.
“This supposed to scare me?” he muttered, though his voice was weaker now, his cock twitching under your gaze as you wrapped your hand around him.
Your grip tightened slightly, just enough to make him gasp, and you started stroking him in slow, deliberate motions. His cocky remarks faltered as you leaned in, your lips brushing against his jaw. “You were saying?”
For a moment, he looked like he might try another retort—but then you slowed your movements even more, your thumb brushing over his tip in a way that made his entire body tense. His head fell back against the pillow, a shaky moan escaping him, and for the first time, he seemed to realize what you were doing.
“Wait—don’t stop,” he said, his voice breaking into a whine as you pulled back slightly, your hand stilling completely.
“Oh, so now you’re asking nicely?” you teased, your tone light but cutting as you hovered over him. “What happened to all that attitude, Sam? No more smart remarks?”
He let out a desperate little whimper, his hips jerking up as if chasing your hand. “Please,” he whispered, his voice shaky now, his cock twitching against nothing as you kept him on the edge.
You smirked, brushing your lips against his ear. “What’s that? No backtalk now? That’s what I thought.”
He groaned, his hands gripping the sheets as he tried to hold back the wave of frustration and need threatening to overwhelm him. “Please,” he begged again, his voice barely more than a whisper, and you couldn’t help but grin, savoring the sight of him completely undone beneath you.
“Next time,” you murmured, your hand brushing over his cheek before pulling back entirely, leaving him gasping and trembling on the bed, “maybe you’ll think twice before mouthing off to me. Or maybe you won’t. Either way, I’m going to have fun.”