207.8 this morning HOLY SHIT This is insanity! Is this even my life?! IS THIS REAL!?
My will power is stronger than ever now, My goals are in sight and i will just keep dropping and dropping.. SOOO many people have said something, its wonderful. I see everyone looking at me when i walk by in a short dress or something tighter, i feel the eyes on me and as much as i hate it, i love it, because it means major changes are visible and i def look way thinner. MY stomach is way flatter and i even have a little line, maybe i could even have abs?! haha ok jk jk bc abs r muscle and they weigh too much.. Just skin and bones, a beautiful ballerina, that could be me. Soon.. Just keep starving Maria, you got this, almost at 67 hours, only a bit more than 48 hours to go!!!
I bet i can smash 205, then eat a bit, and by next fast i will be able to see the 199 on the scale, fuck, i fucking hope so... My mental is so fucked up, i will never be able to have a good relationship with food and it sucks. I hate that i either have to avoid or eat it all, there is no medium with me and that is the hardest part of it all. But, fuck, if i can cook and make dinner for my son and not touch a morsel of food, then i guess my will power is fucking amazing and i am BETTER than i think i am... Starvation = life