#sujibxe

[ynbbm]

☱

11.17.2014.

Dear journal,

I cried in Ji’s arms today. I never thought I would cry this much. I also never thought I would be the one crying like this and she’s the one wiping my tears away. I can’t breathe. It hurts. It hurts everywhere. I asked Ji to make the pains stop, because It feels like someone is stabbing me over and over again. I asked her to rip out my heart, she said no. Can someone please teach me how to make the pain stop?

- Bbom.

11.18.2014.

Dear journal,

I made Suji cry today. I feel terrible. She cried in front of me, and Jackson also told me that she came to him crying because she is scared I’m going to leave. I really want to leave, though. I just want to run away from everything, because I can’t face this. I don’t know how. My whole body is in pain, and nobody can make it stop. I keep crying to her and telling her that I can’t be around. I made my best friend cry because of me. She said she would always be here, I know she would. But I realized at that moment I can’t make my friends suffer because of me. I want to make them smile, and this is not it. I need to go, at least for a few days. I need to get better, for them, at least. Will the pains lessen one day?

-Bbom.

—— 

11.20.2014.

Dear journal,

I actually feel good today. I think I can’t remember when the last time I was smiling this much. Was it a month ago? But It’s been a while, and smiling has never felt this good. Is it okay for me to smile, I wonder. But I’m really glad that I have Suji, Jackson and Momo by my side. We are four idiots who always stick together and help each other go through anything. I really don’t know what I’d do without them.

This time, Suji is the one who knows most about what I’m going through. I just can’t bring myself to say them to Jackson or Momo. But I want to be the one she can depend on like how It’s always been, not like this. So I smile. And I will be strong. I don’t want to make her feel my pain just because I’m unhappy, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll really believe that I can be happy again. I’m blocking away everything. It’s getting easier, slowly. It doesn’t hurt as much looking at his pictures anymore. Though I don’t know how I’m going to react tomorrow when I see him, I don’t know how to pretend that I don’t know that person. I noticed that Suji doesn’t even say his name in front of me anymore, I guess she knows I can’t hear it, nor say it, because It still feels like someone is squeezing my heart. Maybe one day It’ll get better. Maybe one day I’ll be able to, I can only wait for time to heal these wounds. 

I have a good day today, with the showcase, and everything. Suji said she’ll visit me and Jackson backstage tomorrow, since It’s both our comeback stage. It’s gonna be fun, I hope. I’m happy seeing the two of them happy. It makes me smile seeing the two of them together, It feels like there is some hope in love, even though very little, but It’s better than nothing, right? Tomorrow is their anniversary, too. It’s a lie to say that a small part of me doesn’t wish for my own, but maybe one day I’ll learn to accept the fact that there are things that aren’t meant to be, no matter how hard I try. Maybe It’s just never enough. Anyway, I’m gonna go with Suji to get Jackson’s present for tomorrow. That’s something to keep my mind off things.

- Bbom. 

[wngjs-blog]

"쳇. Always looking for excuses to plant one on me, eh?" {/grins widely as she shakes her head, and obnoxiously puckers her lips at you shortly after}

[/takes a second to keep reading before laughing lightly] Of course, what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn't want to kiss you all the time? [/grins before leaning forward and pressing his lips on yours, making a playful sound] 

[wngjs-blog]

"Yeah pretty much..." {/nods sadly and rests her head on your shoulder}

[/wraps his arms snuggly around your petite frame and chuckles] Will a kiss make this better? That's what happened in the movie, right? So why don't we try it?

[wngjs-blog]

{/puts up a notebook with a note scribbled on it} "I can't talk, throat hurts too much. ㅠㅠ"

[/blinks a little, taking a second to read what's on the notebook before glancing back at you with brows slightly raised] So... you're like the Lil' Mermaid for a while? 

[wngjs-blog]

{/sits here before she poofs off again for schedules and makes grabby hands at you}

[/immediately latches his limbs around you after making a dive for the floor]

[ynbbm]

All texts. B) {/slips out again for schedules}

Send “✆” for a morning text. 

[ sms - 지베 ] Yo. Yo yo yo yo yo yo.

[ sms - 지베 ] Are you up already? Bae. Bae Suji. Suji Bae.

[ sms - 지베 ] Wanna take our puppies out for an early morning walk?

[ sms - 지베 ] I don't feel like going to the gym today '^'

Send “✉” for a text that wasn’t sent. 

[ sms - 지베 ] Sometimes I'm envious of how lucky you are with your relationship, though you know I love mine.

Send “☎” for a rushed text. 

[ sms - 지베 ] IM SORRY I KNOW IM LATE I WILL BE THERE IN 10 MINS !!

Send “⁇” for a drunk text.

[ sms - 지베 ] jjjiijiji rwhehreay ou ??

[ sms - 지베 ] pigkck me uuypp>??

[ sms - 지베 ] iM drubgkk as fifkckk khehehheeh.

Send “✿” for a suggestive text. 

[ sms - 지베 ] Wink wink nudge nudge ;) ;)

[ sms - 지베 ] Smooch your cheek -3-

Send “ø” for a late night text.

[ sms - 지베 ] It's 4AM. I can't sleep.

[ sms - 지베 ] But why do I have all these crazy thoughts inside my head today?

Send “✘” for a hateful text.

[ sms - 지베 ] BAE SUJI.

[ sms - 지베 ] KRYPTO AND ACE KEEP TRYING TO EAT MARSHMALLOW'S FOOD. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? >:(

[ynbbm]

Dear fantastic 4,

Momo, you are evil.

Dear Fantastic 4,

You are hella rad. I hella love you. Peace.

Okay, I’m kidding. But this is going to be hella long, so I’ll try to make it short, not sure if I’m able to do it though. 

Dear Fantastic4, 

I think I’m lucky, really, really really lucky, because I have the three of you by my side. Not so often people can find friendship like the one we have, and luckily, we found each other. I think Momo is right, the four of us, we need each other, and all four need to be there to make it work. I kinda forgot who is who but I know that I wouldn’t be where I am right now without the three of you. One might not show up from times to times due to our busy schedules, but we are always there for each other, and if a day goes by that I don’t tlk to at least one of you, that is a boring day for me. I already wrote a letter to Suji, so you know everything that I wanted to say, as for the other two..

Jackson Wang, you are my best friend, and I lost count how many times people actually mistake you as the one I’m dating but god no, only Suji can handle you, as only my bae can handle me. You are my loser best friend, and I love you so much. I miss you, you idiot, but I know you are busy, and It’s okay, I’ll be here to keep the other two company while you are away, and don’t worry about me, I’m fine, and I mean it. You are the one person who has seen me at my weakest, I always come to you whenever I have problems, because you always keep me grounded and pretty much shove it to my face and make me realize what I do wrong. I know I’m dense and dumb most of the times, so thank you, for being here. Sometimes you are harsh, but I know It’s all because you care about me. You are protective over me  sometimes even more than my own brother, and It means a lot. I feel like I will just keep repeating myself over and over again because well, even without me saying anything, I’m sure you know how much you mean to me, how much I trust you, and how much I love you. If you don’t, I’ll beat you up. Come back fast loser, I need someone to bully. I miss you.

Mark Momo Tuan, I don’t know how you do it, I really don’t. You are the most wonderful person that I’ve ever met in my life, how is it that you are so kind towards everyone? You spoil me, and I know that I annoy you everyday and there are times I give you headache, but you always just let me do whatever the hell I want, feed me when I’m hungry, make me laugh when I feel sad, and always there for me. I think we’ve gotten a lot closer after what happened to me, since we were in a similar situation. You are stuck with me for life, you know? I’m never letting you go. You are my best friend, my husband, the father of my children, heh, and I will continue annoying you until the day we both grow old and have grey hair. Momo, no matter what happens, you will always be my Momo, and I will always be your Bomo, and I will always be here for you. There are days that I get upset at myself because I see you sad and there is absolutely nothing I can do for you. I know I’m no Jackson, and I’m not you, I’m not good at cheering people up or make you smile when you feel down, but I’m here, and I want you to be happy. You out of everyone in my life deserves the best kind of happiness and god sometimes I want to punch people in the face for making you sad and hurting you, but you know that no matter what you choose to do, I will be right here supporting you. You will always be the innocent and angel twin in my eyes despite you said you are not, because nope I can’t deal with two evil twins, my boyfriend being the evil one is enough, though of course I still love that idiot as you already know but I’m totally getting off topic here, and you know I will always love you no matter what. I’m never ever going to leave your side, don’t ever forget that. I’ll be here, always.

The three of you, each plays a different role in my life, there are days I spend more time with one more than the other, but I know that no matter what happens I will always be okay because I have you three by my sides, that you would protect me from things that can hurt me, stand up for me If people say bad things about me, and probably punch people if they make me cry, and do dumb things to make me smile again. And I’d do the same thing back, for the three of you. I’d do anything in my power to make sure that nothing and no one can hurt you three, and I will always be here no matter what. We are Fantastic4, right? Dumb level over 9000, so let’s continue be the awesome us four for a really long time, okay? I think I’m done being gay, I feel really, super, duper, gay, and this needs to be stopped. 

Love you three losers,

- Bomichu aka Bomo aka Bubbles. 

[ynbbm]

Dear Suzy,

Dear Suzy,

You are, and always will be the main bae, you know that, right? Even when I don’t call you that most of the times. You are the weirdest kid out there with your 4D personality and god for the first time in my life I find someone who is weirder than me and most of the times, I can’t keep up. You give me huge headache at times, in a good way, of course, and I usually just shake my head, sit there and watch you go crazy, be it you singing random spongebob squarepants songs (God please don’t sing them to me anymore) or the two of us spazzing and talking about our relationships. 

There were a period of times I felt like we became distant from one another, for whatever reason that was, but lately we started being close again, and I’m glad. Even though I know I don’t tell you about all the problems in my life, you know me, I’m not really fond of talking about my feelings, but I know you are always there for me if I ever need someone to talk to. I know It might seem like I talk to Jackson or Momo more about my problems, which is somewhat true, but that doesn’t make them any more important than you, you know? Sometimes there are things that us girls wouldn’t be able to get, and asking for a guy’s advice is better. Though, honestly, these days I don’t really talk to anyone about my problems anymore, maybe simply because there aren’t any, thank god. I think I’m getting off track, but anyway, you and Jackson, you two are the oddest couple, but as I always say, I think you two are perfect for each other. You are lucky to have him as your boyfriend, and well, he is lucky to have you by his side as well. I know I don’t have to say this, but you two, treasure each other, and don’t let each other go, okay? Not so often one can find someone to be their lover, and their best friend. Stop being too violent towards one another or tease each other too much as well, seriously, you two make my relationship seem sweet and cute, which is pretty gay somehow. You know that I’m always, always here for you, and I got your back, right? I’ll continue letting you torture me everyday with your randomness, and I’ll wipe your tears away and hug you tight when you cry. I know I’m not Jackson, and I know there are days that the two of us would just sit there and miss our boyfriends for them being too busy with their schedules, but hey, two is always better than one. You are never alone, you have me. You forever the bae, okay? (literally.)

Love,

- Bbom.