❝ i would do anything for you. all my lines and rules. they mean nothing when it comes to you. it’d cross and break them all just to make you happy. ❞ // ele eh um marido seth x sulji
it always felt like sulji had been looking at her body from far above like she is watching the scene from somewhere else for so long. they play and replay in her head, again and again, something from a movie except that is her life. the decisions come and go just the same, sometimes like something is doing it for her instead of her doing it herself. when did she put herself into auto-pilot? it mustn't have been so long ago, but it felt long enough because her eyes were tired and her brain would throb against her skull asking her to see, look at it more. watch it close, intently. why couldn't she? and then whenever she would push herself, at moments when things would get too hard to bear she would and she would see him. and she was able to hear, sometimes even for the first time in her life. she knows there is more love from other people out there, from her sister, from her friends, and from her fans... but she can't hold it, they can't reach her in that limbo of hers. seth however since the first time they came to actually know each other, can. he reaches out to her every single time, pulling her back to earth like pulling herself from drowning at the most crucial moments. waking her up, giving her life some kind of meaning.
it always felt too cheesy to say, to begin to express to anyone that she was hopelessly falling into something that she couldn't explain. but to seth she never felt like she needed to, he gave her time and he respected her feelings, which altogether made it easier for her to heal. she would have her whole life now to appreciate him for that and to do so much more. she wanted to travel together, she wanted to build a home, she wanted to feel safe and make him happy, she wanted all that because she wanted him, for as far as she can remember and for as long as she knows. and right here at this moment, laying in bed together just a few nights after the day they promise to do just so by putting a ring on their fingers, she feels invincible. right now she is alive and happy. and it feels so fucking good that she can't stop smiling, she can't stop herself from giggling at anything he says or does, and she doesn't want to either. he means it, every word he says now and it doesn't panic her to hear it like it would a year or so ago. she actually feels like embracing those words, but instead she raises both of her hands and holds up both of his cheeks. "you already have, idiot." she grins, contently. her eyes must be beaming at him because his eyes beam at her, they are so happy that it's kind of dumb. she feels dumb, but in the best possible way.
outside looking in, it was possible to say she must have lost her mind. marrying so young with so much life ahead of you. but she was ready to answer every question as she said in her own vows that day that she truly wants to spend every remaining of her youth with him for he is the one who gave it purpose. and after that, growing old together they will teach each other how to be and they will cherish every other moment together as they want to. so fuck if the world, it never gave her anything as good as this and there is nothing wrong with wanting to keep it. despite her career, she has never wanted anything so badly and she'll prove that by standing by him now and forever. that has to be the best thing she has ever felt, undoubtedly. which is why she is always smiling and acting all happy, sappy, and stupid. "hey... so that means you would go anywhere and do anything for me right?" she asks, batting her long eyelashes at him like she does when she is going to be annoying and ask him for something. sulji does that often, in fact, she doesn't mind playing the cute card to make seth do things for her which is funny cause he always says he won't, then he does. they sound married, after all, sometimes she can't believe it.
the laugh that builds up to this is inevitable, she is running her fingers up and down his cheek and his jaw just to make matters worse. she most definitely doesn't wanna get up now and she doesn't want him to get up either, it feels like they will build a home out of their beds in seth's bedroom in his parent's jeju house. actually, it already does feel like home. whenever she would think of this bedroom, only good memories would come up. it was in this very same room a few years ago when they had sex for the first time, they got back together after that and now they are married and god knows how many actions has this room seen since then, she lost count yesterday. "if so, can you get me something to eat? i'll go for cheeseburgers, i need all the energy i can get." sulji finally asked with a smile on her lips, not looking at seth's eyes now because she was feeling kind of silly to ask something so random when he was in such a poetic state. who knew when that would happen again? well, she does have a lifetime to know now so it's okay, she wants something salty to eat and her husband can get it for her. sulji won't play it cool and pretend like she doesn't need him anymore, she does, she will always and she can't live without seth. he makes it easy to breathe and to feel alive so she'll spend the rest of her life trying to make him feel the same because there is nothing else in this lifetime or any other that would make her happier than that.