May 2, 2025
Sun and Ice
Byrd Field Camp, Antarctica 2011
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Sun and Ice
Byrd Field Camp, Antarctica 2011
she makes you feel like the moon. she is blinding brightness and constant warmth and solar flares, loving and healing and explosive. she shines so brightly you can only hope to gleam back in the palest of reflections --- and some days you are too dark to shine back for her at all. she doesn’t mind; she glows for you anyways. she’s constant when you’re not, cares for you even when you cannot, brings sunshine and compassion even during your darkest cycles. she is the sun, and she makes you feel like the moon --- you wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything in the world.
he makes you feel like the sun, as sure as if he’s given you his own name, the same way he offers you every other part of him. he is solid and constant and brimming with life and beauty, and no matter your attempts to push him away, he still spins in constant orbit around you, exactly where you always need him. even during your eclipses, when you are too dark to find the light in yourself, he waits patiently for you to glow again, and embraces your newfound gleam as though there is nothing to forgive. he is something so unendingly good, and he makes you feel like something good, too. he is your world, and he makes you feel like his sun --- you wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything in the world.
my darling, i know that everyone you love has come away changed, has come out of it shrouded in violence --- either covered in battle scars or thirsting for blood. i know it has happened often enough to shatter your heart, to make you build a wall around yourself. i know it has happened often enough that you think the problem is you. my darling, i know you are scared to open your heart again, scared to let them brush their fingers over the parts of you that have pushed others away, that some have grown to hate --- i know you are scared to lose them in the same way.
but you are celestial bodies and though you are always hurtling towards the unknown, you are locked in a dance so cosmic and beautiful you can never be pulled apart. i know you are scared to love when love always finds a way to be ruined, but, my darling, it’s all right to love one just as fiercely as you love the other. it’s all right --- so love them.
San Diego 2015