#sunflowerpoems

[mysunflowerdreams]

sometimes i forget you created worlds for people

long before my existence in your planet

you spoke life into all these creatures,

and yet i am simply one of many before me -

an object of admiration

an object to be praised

an object to be spoiled

an object to be loved

an object, nonetheless

[mysunflowerdreams]

i know that so many people are scared of reaching out their hand and not getting any response back from you because you say it happens often but the idea of me one day not speaking to you due to time allowing us to drift away from each other is enough to weigh down my chest and have tears form so readily

even if you were supposed to leave, i don't want you to

[mysunflowerdreams]

why is it freeing to say that i am falling in love with you

my heart is so heavy with feelings to share but my hands are small

but your palms do not face me, asking to place my heart

instead you have your hands tangled in your hair, stressing

god I wish my love could absolve all your pain

but one-sided love

never saved someone

[mysunflowerdreams]

i am scared to ask but this information is beyond required - it is of the utmost importance though it pains me to hear an answer (and it'd last longer if i simply avoid it avoid avoid avoid avoid, i can do no longer) but when i spill such feelings which marks the start to my confession is right where you decide to simply flee from me?

​the answer is so painful, i already know

[mysunflowerdreams]

i am tired of hearing about grand romantic gestures when one of them is broken and is somehow “miraculously saved” by that someone because life isn’t me, the protagonist and you, my supposed, singular love interest and we are not surrounded by antagonists, nor by those complications of people whose actions are perfectly shaped just to cause some ruin in our character development because that isn’t how life works we aren’t two characters in a fairy tale book nor am i novel lover who overcomes self struggle with my mysterious, selfless partner in some town that we both hate in a time we’re both lost in

we are not a love story, and i am not a fairy tale

[mysunflowerdreams]

waking up alone after falling asleep in your arms only makes the hole in my chest widen today especially made my heart ache because it felt as if i opened my mouth in water and inhaled and rather than floating like i normally do i allowed myself to look for you to pull me out of from the bottom of the ocean and now i am on the shore, left to dry wondering am i the fool for asking that?

but loving someone doesn't save them that easily

[mysunflowerdreams]

when our eyes meet in the darkness of your car do you feel competition spark your spirit - or am i alone in this game i created in my mind where our tacit actions convey just how deeply we feel for such small touches and indulge for once in someone else's time ?

i don't know if i want the answer

[mysunflowerdreams]

you ask why i cannot love you and it is because no one can live long enough to climb my tower of expectations and survive when they get weathered and let go, expecting me to have nets as if i did not warn you not to scale me

maybe you should have listened the first time