Synopsis: After an incident in an op when you were with the CIA took you out of the field, you decide to return to the FBI; more specifically, you apply to the BAU. Once there, you have to navigate life with the burden of the memory from that night. Beware: Old demons might come back to haunt you.
AN 1: Aaahh! This is my first Criminal Minds fanfic so I’m pretty excited. I’ve been wanting to write this for the longest time. It’s also the first work I’ve ever posted on here, or anywhere for that matter. I apologize for any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language - so let me know if anything needs correction. The plan is to post a new chapter as often as I can, but college life is whack so please be patient, I promise I will try to make the wait worthwhile. I’ll work on the timeline, but for now it’s a little over the place.
AN 2: I’m not doing every single episode in the series, that would be insane. If there’s any particular episode you would like to see in the series, follow the link below. I’ll try to do the most important/my favorite episodes. This series will contain NSFW content. Those chapters will be marked. I’ll also add whatever warnings are necessary. If I ever miss one, please let me know.
AN 3: Please do not repost, rework, or translate my work. Do not feed my work to AI. This series is now cross posted on AO3! If you see a piece of my work anywhere else please let me know!! These are the only places where it is posted. REBLOGS ARE WELCOME!! Let me know what you think.
TAP TO JOIN MY TAGLIST | SOMETHING/AN EPISODE YOU’D LIKE TO SEE IN THE SERIES
CHAPTER SUMMARY: You meet the team . It would appear reunions are the order of the day.
CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of pedophilia, typical cm jargon, Hotch is kinda rude in this, mentions of trauma. Feel free to tell me if I missed any.
A/N: Please do not repost, rework or translate my work.This series is now cross posted on AO3! If you see a piece of my work anywhere else please let me know!! These are the only places where it is posted. REBLOGS ARE WELCOME! Let me know what you think.
I hope you like it!
SERIES MASTERLIST
Walking past the glass doors and into the bullpen, the first thing you notice is the tension that seems to permeate the environment. You wonder whether it has to do with the case the BAU has just received, or if this is how the space feels everyday.
The Section Chief leads you into a conference room where you see five people all scattered around.
“—along with the appearance of twenty new children”
Strauss clears her throat, interrupting the young looking man. Everyone turns their head towards you then, and when you see him, you couldn’t fight the smile from appearing on your face.
Gideon however, doesn’t look all too pleased with you. The truth is, you didn’t answer any of his calls when you came back four months ago. You know he somehow found out something happened during your time with the CIA, and he would want to talk about it. But back then, you weren’t ready to answer any questions, or to face his inevitable disappointment. You don’t know if you’re exactly ready now, but you’re hoping he gives you a chance to explain.
“This is the agent that will take Greenaway’s place while she’s incapacitated.” Strauss introduces you to the team.
“She will join the unit, effective immediately. Make sure to get her up to speed.” She then turns to you. “I expect nothing but the best from you, agent.” With that, she walks out, leaving you with the team.
The blonde woman is the first to speak up, “We didn’t know you were coming, or else we would’ve put up a banner or something,” She says with a small laugh. “But welcome aboard.” She offers you a kind smile and a handshake, both of which you promptly reciprocate. “I’m Jennifer Jareau, the media liaison. But you can call me JJ, everyone does.”
A man steps forward, taking reins over the situation with a clear of his throat. “We don’t have time for introductions, we have a case.” He gave you a long, level look.
From his blunt approach —and the suit he’s wearing—, you gather that that’s Agent Hotchner. You’ve heard about him before, he’s quite popular back in the Homicide Department. Known for being a former hot-shot prosecutor who had preferred a more direct approach when applying the law. You had thought he was pretty cool. He’s younger than you imagined, though.
Though Agent Hotchner has already moved towards the screen to continue analyzing the case at hand, the rest of the team seems to be curious enough about their other boss approaching you with such familiarity.
Gideon offers you a handshake. “Hi, kid.”
“Hey, grandpa.” He gives you a tired look at the nickname you know he dislikes, but you can see the amusement in his eyes.
“Gideon, you know her?” One of the agents asks.
Everyone turns to look at him, equally as stunned.
You answer for him, “We met back when I was still in the Academy.”
Jason only nods. You know he has the ‘lonely, grumpy, isolated profiler’ image going on for him, so you decide not to disclose the fact that Gideon and you are actually friends: and usually met for coffee every other week —when he wasn’t away on a case—, and before you had left for Ukraine. Plus, you know he doesn’t usually like to disclose his life so openly.
You can see a silent thanks in his eyes.
“Well, we’re happy to have you.” The agent you assume to be Morgan, gives you a smile.
You can somewhat guess who everyone is from vague conversations you’ve had with Gideon over the years.
“I’m happy t—“ You’re about to thank him when another agent interrupts you.
“Wait, I know you! You were there during Agent Sowe’s lecture about the influence of gender in crimes. Though you left somewhat early, I can give you my notes if you want. I don’t know ho-” You’re kind of glad when Jennifer —JJ, you remind yourself— interrupts him with a nudge to his shoulder.
“Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly at you. “I didn’t even ask your name.” From his shy demeanor and the sweater vest he’s wearing, you guess he’s Reid; the doctor, if you remember correctly.
You’re surprised he can ever recall you were there. It was a while ago, you remember that much; it was soon after you had graduated. You don’t even know why you had left early, but surely something else had caught your attention. Sowe’s lectures weren’t famous because they were fun.
“That’s okay. You can call me Hawke.” You smile at him when you notice his raised brow over your name. “It’s an old nickname.”
Agent Hotchner steps to the front with a frown that seems to be carved into his features, “Let’s get back to work, everyone.”
With that, everyone gathers around the room once again, returning to the places they were at before you came in.
JJ signals for you to sit beside her at the front of the table: at the other side of her is Doctor Reid. Agent Morgan’s near the table, fixing himself a cup of coffee.
Standing in front of the room, unsurprisingly, is Gideon and Agent Hotchner. Both have their eyes set on the screen, quietly analyzing the images of a young boy, who couldn’t be more than seven years old. Your stomach twists, the cases involving kids are always the worst.
You quickly scan the file that JJ hands you and make a mental note of the most important details. A boy, who the Crimes Against Children Unit has named Peter, resurfaced a year after the Unit had tried, but ultimately failed to hunt whoever had kidnapped him with the intention of selling him to a pedophile ring. The BAU received the case mere hours ago, it seems.
Agent Hotchner speaks then, “Peter had disappeared, until tonight. When SSA Cole telephoned us.”
You know that name.
“Katie Cole?” It’s Agent Morgan who asks.
“She was in the BAU, right?” Doctor Reid questions.
You scoff internally. She not only was in the BAU, she was one of the first profilers on the team. The woman is amazing. A little intimidating, yes, but amazing. You had met her before, in a multi-department task-force way back in the day. You had only been in the FBI for about three months, but Katie never once made you feel inexperienced; she was demanding, but you had learned a lot from her. You consider her a friend.
Gideon nods without turning, “Clinical psychologist. Brilliant.”
Agent Hotchner looks over his shoulder towards the table, “She runs the Crimes Against Children Unit in Maryland.”
“I always wanted to meet her.” Morgan says as he sits down next to Reid.
In that precise moment, SSA Katie Cole walks in the room. “Really? I heard she’s a bitch.”
You smirk.
“Nobody ever called you that, Katie.” Gideon asserts.
“Well, not to her face.” You can’t help yourself. Katie Cole always had a good sense of humor, anyway.
She huffs a laugh as she turns to you with wide eyes, “Hawke! What the hell are you doing here?”
It would appear reunions are the order of the day.
She approaches you and you quickly stand up to give her a hug. She holds tightly and grabs your face, as if assessing for injuries. You almost forgot how much of a mother hen she could be. You can practically see the question in her eyes.
“I heard... Are you okay?”
You suppress the urge to wince at the question, and limit yourself to nodding.
“I’m fine.” You know she’s genuinely concerned, but you really aren’t looking forward to discussing the last two years of your life. Also, you have a case.
Which Agent Hotchner promptly reminds you with a cold glare and a furrow of his brows. The Unit Chief really has a knack for making others feel welcome.
Katie squeezes your shoulders one more time before letting go of you.
She then turns to see the screen, that still displayed the new footage of Peter, alone in a small room. She sighs.
She explained the efforts her unit made a year prior. The bottom line is that Peter’s being auctioned, and the UnSub feels confident that he isn’t going to be found out in time before that. The team has approximately 17 and a half hours left to find the boy, before he disappears again. The only lead so far is the chat room where the video first appeared, it’s hosted by an independent web company in Cleveland.
Katie seems confident, “And this time, I’m bringing you all in with me.”
……
“I can’t believe you guys have a plane.” You’re still a bit surprised at Morgan’s revelation.
“Oh, come on, you mean to tell me they didn’t have their own jets back at the CIA?” He laughs.
You’re sure they did, but it isn’t like you’d gotten to see them. Your time with them was… Less glamorous than some would imagine.
“The CIA, maybe. The Homicide Department? Definitely not. You guys are living the life.”
Morgan smirks as he holds the car door open so you could climb down. You thank him. You both walk side by side towards the plane.
“So, what’s your story? He asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m curious. We know you were with the Homicide Department, and we know you got poached by the CIA. You seem to know everyone around here, but we barely know anything about you.”
“Honestly, you get to know a lot of people when you’re in Homicide. We’re versatile like that.”
He chuckles at that. “And what about the CIA?”
You flinch, though you try your best to hide it. “What about it?”
“You look terribly uncomfortable every time someone mentions it.”
And it’s not like you could deny it. “I think you’re very observant.”
“And I think you’re deflecting.”
……
The inside of the plane itself is simple, it almost looks like any other office inside Quantico. It practically screams FBI.
When Morgan and you board, Agent Hotchner and Gideon are already inside waiting. Agent Hotchner nods in your general direction, while Gideon doesn’t really acknowledge any of you. You take the seat beside him. And you see Morgan going over to Agent Hotchner, probably to discuss some theories, the Unit Chief doesn’t seem like the type to make small talk.
“Are you ever going to talk to me?” You nudge Gideon’s shoulder, keeping your voice down.
“Now you want to talk?” He doesn’t look up from the file he’s reading.
“Okay, that’s fair. But I can explain.”
He turns his gaze to you, questioningly.
“Okay, maybe I can’t. But I brought you a gift, so you can’t be mad at me forever.”
He doesn’t seem fazed.
“It’s about birds.” You insist in a hushed sing-song voice.
“Are you trying to bribe me into forgiving you?”
“Why? Is it working?”
He makes a face.
“Okay, okay” You lift your palms in surrender, “I’m sorry I didn’t call. And I’m sorry for not answering your calls.”
He lifts his brow. You sigh.
“I was having a hard time, okay?” You hang your head.
Gideon takes a deep breath.
“You’re paying next time.”
Your head shoots up, a big smile forming. “You got it.”
He returns his eyes to the file he’s still holding in his hands, “Now, about that gift.”
“I missed you, old man.” You laugh quietly as you place the copy of ‘South American Land Birds’ in front of him, “It comes with a painting, but that didn’t fit into my go-bag. I’ll have it sent to your apartment once we come back.”
He eyes the book and then you, “Thank you.”
You smile brightly at him.
Once Katie arrives a while later, the plane takes off.
……
You’re used to flying, you moved around a lot when you were a kid. So you don’t pay much attention to the turbulence that makes the entire plane shake. You’re distracted anyway, reading the file over and over, trying to find any new details that might help you. But Katie is a different story, she excused herself some minutes ago and headed to the bathroom. You pretend that you can’t hear her gagging.
Jason is in deep thought beside you, still clutching the file; Morgan’s in front of you, reviewing printed chat logs and messages. And Agent Hotchner is beside the table you’re all sitting around in, half sitting on the cabinet attached to the plane wall, he is reviewing the case file too.
The plane jostles once more as Katie returns, forcing her to hold on to the frame that leads to the bathroom corridor. She straightens up quickly though, and starts talking about the footage once again.
“Pedophiles can be divided into two categories-“ The plane shakes again, making her gasp and effectively interrupting her thought process.
You clear your throat, “Situational and Preferential.” Katie throws you a thankful look, you wink in return.
“Situational offenders rarely seek out children” Agent Hotchner interjects, “but they’ll take advantage of a situation when presented with it.”
You hum, “Preferential offenders actively target children by age group, hair color. They’ll seek jobs that give them as much access to children as possible.”
Katie, who looks a little less pale after sitting down, takes the idea. “They often trawl around residential neighborhoods. Hijacking home wireless systems, then communicating with children, often outside the very house the child is in.” She shakes her head in disbelief. “Or they’ll simply use a coffee shop with wireless access to find, locate, and arrange a meeting. And it’s growing. It’s growing as fast as the internet.”
She stands up and starts pacing around the plane, “They’re getting smarter and smarter and all the security in the world can’t stop them from going through our doors.”
Everyone looks somber.
“Hell, the monsters are already in our homes.” She finishes.
“If he’s had this kid for a year, it makes him preferential.” Agent Hotchner intervenes.
Katie nods, “Definitely.”
“So, then why is he selling him? Morgan asks.
“Maybe he’s losing his interest. Perhaps Peter is getting too old, too tall. Preferential offenders are extremely specific about their preferences.” You theorize.
“And if he can’t sell him?”
You turn your eyes to Katie, gazes meeting in a mournful understanding.
Gideon is the one who answered, “He isn’t going to just let him go.”
Before anyone can say anything else, the computer on the table beeps, signaling an incoming video call.
JJ’s voice rings through, “Hotch?”
Agent Hotchner quickly takes the seat beside Morgan so he can talk to her. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, I was thinking, shouldn’t we release Peter’s picture to the media?” JJ asks.
Even though she couldn’t see you and you couldn’t see her, you shake your head vehemently.
Katie quickly intervenes,”No! No, no.”
JJ insists, “If this UnSub thinks that we’re onto him, he might make a run for it and dispose of the boy.”
“Shouldn’t we assume he does know?” Gideon questions.
Katie bristles, raising her voice “As I said, we intercepted this image as part of an undercover operation. These predators have a fairly closed society.” She takes a deep breath.
You try to aid her, “The way they run these sites gives them the expectations of anonymity. Making this information public would put the whole operation in jeopardy, and it might make us lose Peter; along with dozens of other children that might be getting sold in this ring.”
Gideon nods, “Right.”
“Have Reid and Elle check the live feed. Not just the boy, but everything around him, the room. See if we missed anything.” Agent Hotchner orders.
You turn towards Morgan and mouthed, “Elle?”
You know Elle Greenaway, or rather, you know of her. You know you’re stepping up for her while she recovers from an injury. An UnSub had attacked her, and in her own house out of all places. But Strauss told you that you’d be filling her spot for at least a month, so you’re confused to hear she’s already working.
He shrugs.
……
Once you touch down in Cleveland, the plan is that you all separate into two black Suburbans to head to the web company.
Before Agent Hotchner can order everyone where to go, Katie jumps forward and snatches a pair of keys from his hand.
“Hawke and I will drive together. We’ll see you boys there.” She doesn’t leave room for any arguments.
Once in the car, Katie wastes no time in questioning you.
“So, how are you? And I want the truth, not that ‘I’m fine’ bullshit you’ve been walking around with for who knows how long.” She really doesn’t hold her punches back.
You sigh, “Katie…”
“No, listen. I know it was some type of bad. Everyone knows.” She pauses to look at you during a red light. “You don’t even have to tell me the details. I just want to know how you’re coping.”
And how can you tell her that you weren’t coping? How can you tell her that you messed up so bad, that a lot of people, good people, died; and you did nothing to stop it? How can you explain to her how much of a shit show it was?
You can’t.
“I’ve been out of the field for almost five months. And now I’m in the BAU.” You sigh. “I’m doing okay.”
She speaks up then, “Huh.”
“What?”
“Oh nothing, it’s just-” She sighs. “You’re a shittier liar than I remember.”
“Katie, it’s true.” You hold up your pinky. “I promise I’m fine.”
She flicks your ear with one hand, while keeping the other on the steering wheel. You rub you ear, “Hey! What was that for?”
“For lying, again.” She looks at you again, briefly “Look Hawke, I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through. But you don’t have to do it on your own, there are people who care about you. You just have to let your guard down once in a while.”
When you don’t say anything, she continues.
“You don’t have to carry the weight of the world.” You make a face at that, “And- Hey! Don’t look at me like that. I’ve known you since you were fresh out the Academy, so I’m right.”
“Listen, what I’m trying to say is, I’m here for you. And that old grump is, too. I know he pretends to be all tough, but he worries about you a great deal.”
That pulls a genuine smile out of you. You turn to look at her.
“I know.” You let out a breath. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She squeezes your shoulder. “And you should really go to therapy.”
You huff, “I’ll see about that.”
She rolls her eyes at you.
……
When you arrive at the web company, Agent Hotchner gives out the instructions. It doesn’t come as a surprise when he orders you to stay at the back, just behind Gideon. All day he has been giving you this look, like he doesn’t trust you. And you understand, you suppose you could be an intruder of some sort. But, credit where credit is due, you’re good at your job. It’s just a matter of getting the chance to prove it.
Morgan is the first to enter, warrant and badge in hand. He’s followed by Katie, then Agent Hotchner and finally Jason and you.
It doesn’t take long after that for Katie to gain access to the original chat room’s database. She quickly sends them back to her team, along with Doctor Reid and the newly reincorporated Agent Greenaway, for them to look into.
You’d tuned out the complaints of the owner a while ago, who just kept babbling about the ‘truest form of free expression’. But honestly? You’re getting awfully tired of his ignorance.
Katie seems to read your thoughts. She instructs Morgan to send out a fake message, pretending to be a twelve year old. Immediately after the message is posted, the sound of dozens of messages fill the room.
Katie turns to the owner, face hard “Hear that? That’s the sound of pedophiles looking to hook up with a 12-year-old girl named Suzy. You let them run everything through SSL connections from proxy servers in offshore countries.”
The owner looks agitated. You roll your eyes.
“Hey, I’m just the middleman here, okay?” He looks around from you to Gideon, who’s on the other side of Katie, “What can I do?”
“There’s a little boy for sale in one of your sites” Gideon looks at the man in disgust, “What can I do just isn’t good enough.”
……
You race to the address JJ had texted Gideon, where another young boy is being held.
You don’t even wait for Katie to fully stop the car before jumping out, gun unholstered and ready to shoot.
Morgan kicks the door open and everyone rushes in. You can hear Agent Hotchner announce your presence. The team advances quickly, clearing the house. You turn to Morgan and nod, there’s loud music coming from upstairs. He turns to Agent Hotchner, who signals everyone to follow behind him.
You quickly clear every room until everyone is in front of a closed door, where the music is coming from.
Agent Hotchner pushes the door open and you all swarm in, guns held high. All your attention is on the kid. He looks scared as he asks what you’re doing.
He’s tied and shirtless.
You turn around, looking for any sign of the kidnapper’s whereabouts. Everyone does the same. Morgan announces it was clear.
You approach the boy slowly, holstering your weapon. You try to talk softly, “It’s okay, you’re safe now.”
He stands up suddenly, untying his hands from the rope that kept them together on his own.
Katie looks as shocked as you feel, “What’s your name?”
“Kevin.” The boy answers brusquely.
“The man who did this to you, is he still here?”. Your Unit Chief asks.
“This is my house.” The boy, Kevin, tells him while putting his shirt on.
“Graham Rose is the owner of this house, where is he?” You ask, trying to make sense of this situation.
“He’s just gone, okay?”
Gideon speaks up, analyzing the boy “Graham Rose is your father?”
“Yeah, sure. You could call him that.” The boy challenges Gideon with his stare “I just call him a bastard.”
The confusion is palpable in the room.
……
Katie has been trying to get into the real transcripts of Kevin’s sessions for a while. So far, every attempted password has failed.
Morgan and Agent Hotchner have been trying to build rapport with the boy, they aren’t getting anywhere either .
“Kevin, this is prostitution.” You attempt to coax the information out of him,
He doesn’t seem fazed, “Well I’m a minor. I don’t really know what I’m doing.” He turns to you with a defiant look. “Plus, I never leave this room, so no one, no one, ever touches me.”
“Anymore.” Gideon says before you could respond. “Your father’s been beating you since you can remember. At first it was when he was drunk on the weekend, then he was always drunk. You never knew why he was hurting you, why he was so angry.”
Kevin sobers up at that, his gaze turns towards the scars along his uncovered chest. The sight makes your heart ache. He looks lost.
Gideon doesn’t stop, though. “At night, you’d cry yourself to sleep, hoping someone would come and save you. No one ever came.”
Agent Hotchner steps in “You can’t get to your father, but you can get to the guy who’s hurting this boy.”
That seems to convince him, because soon enough, he orders Katie to move. She doesn’t hesitate.
He logs in to the back-up of all his transcripts and directs you to a guy named Mehtevas.
After some insistence, Katie and Agent Hotchner convince Kevin of requesting a face-to-face with the guy.You do your best to ensure him that he’ll be safe, and that you’ll be there the entire time.
……
You’re standing by, waiting for the suspect to appear, meanwhile keeping an eye on Kevin.
This time you drove with Jason, while Katie, Morgan and the Unit Chief rode in a separate car.
It isn’t long until the suspect appears. He turns out to be the principal of the school. You wish for a time where you would be surprised by the revelation.
The school’s surrounded with police officers. You’re talking to Katie, discussing what had just gone down, when Agent Hotchner approaches the two of you. You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Katie definitely notices and throws you a questioning glance, you shrug.
“Katie.” Agent Hotchner calls out when he’s close enough, he’s holding Kevin by his shoulders.
Katie turns towards him. “Yeah.”
“Social Services is picking up Kevin at the Alexandria field office.I’m going to go with him and I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He opens the door for the boy to climb in the car, then turns to Katie again. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I…” She seems to hesitate “Yeah.” She throws you a look, you squeeze her hand and she nods. Katie walks away, probably to check on her team, and collect herself.
Agent Hotchner stares at you for a moment “The school district has given us permission to search Rawlings’ office.”
“I’m on it.” You stare back.
He looks like he’s about to say something else, but he’s interrupted by another voice calling out.
“Hotch, you already got him?”
Your Unit Chief clears his throat and turns towards whoever’s talking to him.
You can see it’s Doctor Reid, you offer him a small wave. He reciprocates with a tight lipped smile. Someone else is with him, a woman, who you assume to be Agent Greenaway. You can see the way Agent Hotchner’s shoulders tense. “I told you to stay out of the field.”
Agent Greenaway shrugs, “Yeah, I know, but Reid said you wanted us here.”
Doctor Reid’s face morphs into something akin to childlike frustration, “What? No, I didn’t!”
“Yes, you did.” Agent Greenaway shoots back just as fast.
“I’m sure you didn’t, Reid”.
The doctor smiles slightly, satisfied.
Agent Greenaway shoots him a look, “Thanks.”
They remind you of two siblings fighting, Agent Hotchner the stern father. The thought makes you huff out a laugh.
They turn to you at the sound.
“Oh, you’re the new agent! Reid couldn’t stop talking about you.” Agent Greenaway calls out to you, earning a not so subtle glare from the doctor.
You chuckle as you approach them, “That would be me. Nice to meet you, Agent Greenaway.”
She rolls her eyes playfully, “Oh, you sound like Gideon. Call me Elle.”
You shakes her hand, “Call me Hawke.”
After that, Agent Hotchner instructs the three of you to go and search the principal’s office.
……
You flash your badges to the officers as you enter.
“Principal of a school.” Elle muses.
“That’s as much access to children as possible.” Doctor Reid answers.
You all search his office for something, anything; that would tie him to Peter.
You find tons of books on child psychology, he even has a doctorate on it. What you don’t find though, is a computer; which is admittedly weird. Guys like him have a an assortment of child pornography stacked in their desktop, and that would help, you just have to find it.
Elle finds a picture of the man with what appear to be his children and wife, “Family man.”
You think about it, “So, if he does have Peter, he’s not keeping him at home.”
She nods.
“Hey, this one’s locked.” The doctor calls out, trying to force the drawer open.
You quickly approach it, taking your pocket knife out of the side of your holster.
“I got it, Doc.”
You open the drawer. “Bingo.” A computer.
“They teach you that in the academy?” You hear Elle behind Doctor Reid.
You turn to look at her with a wink, “A magician never reveals her secrets.”
......
After a while, Elle breaks the silence.
“So, Hawke.” You hear her say.
You’re waiting for the rest of the team —minus, Agent Hotchner; who’s still over at the Alexandria field office— to arrive with the principal, so you can question him.
“Yeah?”
“What’s with the nickname?”
Doctor Reid isn’t paying much attention, he’s trying to crack into Rawlings’ computer. You try to talk a little bit quieter, letting him work.
You think about it for a minute, “They started calling me that in the Academy, I don’t really remember why. Somehow, it just stuck.” You fidget with your hands, “Everyone started calling me that after a while.”
Elle gives a slow nod “It’s a weird nickname. But I guess it beats being called ‘Agent’.”
That makes you chuckle. “Exactly.”
“So, what made you come back to the FBI?”
If she notices your wince, she doesn’t say anything.
You try to play it off, “Everybody on this team is so curious.”
“We’re profilers. It’s in our blood to be nosy.”
In that moment, Morgan walks in the door, looking awfully frustrated. “Tell me we got something to nail this son of a bitch on.”
“Not unless we can break the password on this guy’s computer.” Doctor Reid says without looking up.
After some discussion, the doctor finally stands up to write something on a piece of paper.
‘Save them’ it said. Suddenly it clicks. “Mehtevas.”
The computer contains exactly what you expect, about a hundred years in a federal penitentiary’s worth of it.
“I want to make a deal.”
Katie scoffs.
Gideon doesn’t even blink, “No deals. All you have is a very, very small amount of goodwill.”
It doesn’t take long for Rawlings to start to sweat. He admits to having bid for Peter, though he still claims it was in order to ‘save him’. You feel extremely disgusted.
Katie expression mirrors your feeling, “In your pursuit to save them, do you think you could have avoided having sex with them?”
You see your opening, “Mr. Rawlings.” You give him a cold stare. “The code.”
“Butterfly.”
Katie gets to work immediately. She sends a message to the UnSub.
Out of a sudden, the site crashes. “What happened?” You try not to sound desperate.
Morgan walks in, “We got reporters outside of the school. This thing is all over the news.”
“Oh my God. That’s why the site went down. He knows.” Katie shuts the computer.
……
You’re on the car with Gideon, Katie and Agent Hotchner on the way to Mount Pleasant. The team’s technical analyst identified the number on a Tadpole shirt Peter was seen wearing in the last video before it went dark. You hope she’s right, it is a long way to go and the auction clock has only two hours left.
You stay quiet during the ride, tuning in and out of the conversation.
You hear Katie, “I know one thing, I can’t lose Peter again.”
“Well, let’s just hope JJ bought us some time.” Agent Hotchner responds, lifting his eyes off the road briefly to look through the rearview mirror.
She does.
Soon enough the news are transmitting a message JJ instructed them to publicize. It isn’t long after that when the site’s up and running again.
Gideon and Agent Hotchner are talking amongst themselves, discussing strategies to follow once you arrive to Mount Pleasant.
“I gave up on him.” Katie sounds defeated.
The Unit Chief and Gideon stop their conversation. Your head shoots up towards her.
“A year ago, I gave up on looking for him. There were so many other kids” She rubs her face.
“Katie, I’m sure you did what you could.” Gideon says.
She ignores him, “Do you ever ask yourself how you make a decision like that?” She exhales. “How do you come to the conclusion that it’s time to move on to the next kid? How… How do you give yourself that kind of permission?”
She turns to you then, eyes a little misty. “What’s happened to that boy in the year I stopped looking for him?”
Everyone stays quiet after that.
A long, silent ride later, you arrive at a school. You’re hoping they can provide you with new information.
After checking the registry, you come up with the name of the boy: Charlie Sparks.
The team reconvenes to discuss the new details.
Agent Hotchner and Gideon relay what little you learned.
“Garcia can’t even find a Sparks within a hundred miles for the last ten years.” Morgan adds.
“Probably not his real name, anyway.” Katie scoffs.
Agent Hotchner intervenes, “The school said he might have moved away.”
Doctor Reid interrupts, “You guys, maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way.”
Elle stops her pacing, “What do you mean?”
He turns to her, “The behavior, it’s odd, right? The UnSub apparently listed this kid to school and the Tadpoles until about a year ago. At that point, he had pictures of him online in a regular-looking room, but now, he’s in a prison-like room with no windows, no doors. Completely hidden.”
“So, what happened a year ago to make him change his behavior so much?” Agent Hotchner questions.
“Fear.” Gideon says simply. “Katie, you almost caught him.”
And that makes a tremendous amount of sense, you chastise yourself for not thinking of that earlier.
You turn to Katie, “You probably talked to him. The UnSub’s in your records.”
Morgan’s watch beeps, “Guys, we just ran out of time.”
Your stomach plummets.
Everyone starts pacing.
“I never really had a good suspect. I only did some general interviews with child offenders on the east coast.”
“One of them was the right guy.” Agent Hotchner is the only one calm, and you wonder how he does that. How he keeps his composure while everyone else is slowly losing it. Hell, even Gideon seems nervous.
Katie starts making some calls.
You get a name: Michael Earlson.
Everyone climbs into their cars, racing towards the UnSub’s last known address. It’s ten minutes away from where you are.
……
The next twenty minutes are a blur. Everything happens incredibly fast.
Morgan apprehends the UnSub. The police run into the house to collect evidence.
The boy.
You see Katie running towards the van Earlson was using to drive off. She opens the trunk as fast as she can and finds a black container inside. Large enough to fit Peter.
Your stomach twists. “Oh God.”
You help her open the container, and you feel like you can finally breathe again. Peter is alive.
“It’s okay.It’s okay, you’re safe now.” You hear Katie trying to calm him down.
He’s scared, though and keeps screaming for his dad.
“Where’s Daddy?” He clutches his doll like a lifeline.
You and Katie share a look.
……
Peter’s real name is Dustin Powers. Michael Earlson abducted him in New Jersey when he was one. You feel sickened.
“Sometimes its seems there’s no punishment enough.” Gideon walks out of the room.
“JJ traced his mother:” Morgan informs everyone. “She’s on her way.”
You accompany Morgan out, leaving Katie and Agent Hotchner to talk.
Dustin’s mother arrives a while later. Gideon instructs her on what to do and what to say, to prevent her from scaring and confusing the boy any further.
You watch her introduce herself. It’s going to be a long process.
As you’re fixing yourself a coffee in the small kitchen at the back of the bullpen, Morgan approaches you.
“So, how did you feel on your first case with the BAU?”
“Weird.” You let out a deep breath. “But it’s good to be back out in the field.”
“You did good today, Princess.” He pats your shoulder.
You chuckle at the nickname, “Thanks.”
……
You reach for Katie just as she’s walking out.
“Hey, you’re leaving without saying goodbye?” You pout.
She rolls her eyes at you, “You’re so dramatic. You know I’m only a phone call away.”
“That is such a cliché thing to say.”
You both laugh. She sobers up, “Don’t forget what I said, Hawke. You don’t have to do this on your own.”
“You too. I overheard you talking with Agent Hotchner, you know. You didn’t tell me how you were feeling.”
She raises her eyebrows, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”
“Katie.” You grab her shoulders “It’s okay to need help.” You sighed. “It’s okay if you want to step away.”
“Look who’s talking.” She clears a runaway tear with her hand, “You’re shit at pep-talks.”
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”
You smirk. You both hug.
……
You knock on the door to Gideon’s office, but don’t wait for a response.
He doesn’t look up, probably because he already knows it’s you. Nobody else on the team would let themselves in.
You sit down in the empty chair opposite him and close your eyes, leaning your head back.
“How are you feeling?” He asks after a while.
You have a lot of answers to that question, but you decide on the safest. “Happy that Dustin is alive and with his mom.”
He hums. You know that isn’t what he’s asking.
“It’s… weird to be back.” You finally say. “It’d been a while.”
He looks at you.
“But all good things must come to an end. Sooner than I expected, though.”
He raises his eyebrow.
“Well, Elle is back. And I kinda was her replacement.” You shrug. “It’s fine, really. I don’t think this team really wants a new member. Besides, I heard there’s an opening in Counter Terrorism; so I might check that out.”
He gives you a curious look. One you’d give a child after they say something you couldn’t quite understand. “You’re not leaving, kid.”
You give him a look, “What do you mean?”
“Strauss decided to make you part of the team. For good.”
You snicker. “Yeah, okay.”
But then you see his serious expression. “The papers are already signed.”
“Right.” You’re confused. You really didn’t think this would go longer than a couple of months, at most.
“Welcome to the team, kid.” He says with a smile.
Huh. It’s been a while since you heard that.
A little voice in the back of your mind reminds you of the last time you’d heard something like that, and how it all ended. You ignore it, this is a good thing. And you would be damned before you let it become anything but.
“Celebratory coffee? You still have to tell me all about.. Well, everything I’ve missed.” You question.
“Thought you’d never ask.” He stands up to grab his coat.
CHAPTER SUMMARY: You’re back in Quantico. For an interview. With Strauss. It’s just a tiny bit nerve-racking. But you want that opening at the BAU.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Strauss being Strauss. Some flashbacks and mentions of trauma, but nothing graphic. Feel free to tell me if I missed any.
A/N: Please do not repost, rework or translate my work. This series is now cross posted on AO3! If you see a piece of my work anywhere else please let me know!! These are the only places where it is posted. REBLOGS ARE WELCOME! Let me know what you think.
I hope you like it!
SERIES MASTERLIST
“You may come in.” She holds you under her intense stare, as she motions to the empty chair in front of her desk.
“Thank you Ma’am.” You sit down and clear your throat.
If you’re being honest, you feel a whole lot more nervous than you had expected. Yes, you are an accomplished agent, you’re confident of that much, but that doesn’t guarantee anything when it came to Erin Strauss. Not from what you’ve heard.
Never one for beating around the bush, Strauss cuts to the chase. “So you want to join the Behavioral Analysis Unit.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“What makes you think you have the right qualifications?” Her tone is serious, her gaze stern.
Jason told you about the Section Chief a while ago, in one of your bimonthly gatherings; so you were expecting the bluntness. You had met Jason Gideon back at the Academy. He had given a lecture on profiling to your class, and naturally, your interest piqued on the subject. You approached him with all kinds of questions. Eventually, he agreed to give you mock consults so that you could practice. After that, you became friends with the man who, at times, acted more like a father than a friend.
“Well Ma’am, you’ll see that I graduated Cum Laude from Brown with a double major in Criminal Justice and Psychology, and a minor in Journalism.” You take a breath. “As you know, I’ve been in The Bureau before, with the Homicide Department, so I know my way around.”
“And why did you leave?”
You aren’t sure whether that’s a trick question, surely she knows. Most of the time it seems the whole world does, anyway.
“I was recruited by the CIA” You try to suppress the flashbacks from overpowering your senses.
A room with no lights.
The smell of blood, so much blood.
One fatal shot.
You shake your head, ridding yourself of the images that haunt your every night. You clear your throat.
Strauss remains quiet, still waiting for an answer.
“I spent about ten months on a classified mission outside the country, we were mostly dedicated to gathering intelligence and undercover work.” Mostly being the keyword there, of course. But you don’t tell her that.
“You’ve been out of the field for a year, Agent, and you’ve just transferred back to the FBI.” She doesn’t have to actually ask for you to know what she’s inquiring. She wants to know about the incident, and the months after.
“I was put on leave after an unfortunate event on the last month of the operation. But I can assure you, Ma’am, that I’ve been cleared for field duty by both the Bureau and my former direct CIA supervisor.”
Maybe you’re starting to get a little irritated towards the Section Chief, but you are tired of the same questions that everyone seems to want the answer to, ever since that night.
You don’t let your annoyance show, though. You really want that opening at the BAU, however temporary. Everyone does. It’s like the popular-kids’ table of the FBI, you’ve been told. But you know it’s so much more than just that. You feel that you could do so much with them; the team has a real, tangible impact. They make the world safer and after what you witnessed during the past year, you were desperate to be a part of that.
Plus, working with Gideon for a while would be an upgrade from what you were leaving behind; the CIA assets aren’t known for being the friendliest bunch. Sure, you haven’t spoken to the man since you left for that mission, but you’re hoping this gives you the chance to catch up.
“You certainly have impressive recommendations” She doesn’t sound entirely surprised, but her eyebrows do rise about half an inch.
You wouldn’t call the letters from the Director of Intelligence impressive per se, but that’s because you’re about the only person that knows that it only takes a couple of strawberry milkshakes to get the man to agree to almost anything.
“Thank you, Ma’am.”
Strauss gives you a once over. Then, she turns to read your file, again. She sighs, whether it’s out of contempt or defeat, you don’t know.
“Very well then,” She turns her eyes at you “The position is yours.”
You can’t help the small smile that breaks out.
“I greatly appreciate the opportunity.”
“You should. This team requires the sharpest of agents, but I’m sure you’ll be able to pull your own weight.”
You aren’t sure if that’s a compliment or not, but you nod your head in gratitude nonetheless.
“You’ll join the team right away. I believe they are about to have a briefing for a new case, I’ll take you to meet them.”
She stands up and you quickly follow her, matching her fast paced walk towards the team.
i'm currently halfway through university and very, very bad at keeping routines. i think about writing a lot, but write very little, so my WIP folder is actually never ending. as i mentioned before, i suck at routines so updates are somewhat rare (but they do come!).
