Some Slinkman headcanons cuz I feel chatty and I really really like him:
—He’s always wanted a pet, particularly a big energetic dog like a Labrador, but has been too busy to be able to look after one. (Also, Lumpus likes denying him it.)
—For his tenth birthday, he got a minibike as a gift from his dad. (His mom didn’t approve.) This is where his need for speed and love of stunts began. Without this minibike, he probably wouldn’t have gone on to be his daredevil incarnation, “Super Slug.” He sadly had to sell said minibike for his Super Slug racing suit and helmet. He hopes one day to track it down and repurchase it.
—As a Bean Scout, he met Jane Doe, then a Squirrel Scout, because she defended him when some bullies were throwing salt at him. (He’s a slug. It might as well be battery acid.) So since Jane’s a bit whacky she got a bit carried away and reeeeally laid into these guys. Like if you had been there you’d actually fear for their lives. She was going ham. And after that they became friends! And Slinkman learned to never rock her boat. “Ohohowee! I love it!”
—He’s not fond of Ms. Mucus one bit but he keeps it to himself for professionalism’s sake.
—Slinkman was only two badges away from becoming a Tomato Scout: he was too inherently slippery to earn the Rope Climbing Badge even with gloves on, and he was too squeamish for the Taxidermy Badge.
—He’s gay but pretty content with staying single. He came out in 2000, his first year as a Scoutmaster’s Assistant. It nearly cost him the job in those days, but Scoutmaster Lumpus actually came to his defense. It was half genuine altruism and half loving how much work and responsibility Slinkman was willing to take on.
—Slinkman is of French descent and is also Jewish. (He still can never resist eating shrimp or hot dogs.)
—It is critical that he stays hydrated. He always carries an emergency water canteen on him. Scoutmaster Lumpus, somehow not knowing better, once tried pranking him by hiding the canteen. Biiiiiig mistake. He never did it again.
—His parents come for Parents’ Day too. He’s in his forties and they’re in their seventies. It’s not embarrassing to him; quite the opposite. And you better believe his parents think he’s a little angel and never hesitate to pinch his cheeks in front of the campers.