#support ask

[support-for-the-suicidal]

I attempted last year by ODing and haven't been able to take any of my meds in months, even the smell of pills forces me to wrestle with my gag reflex. Any ideas on how I could cover up the taste or just make it easier to swallow? I don't like honey or yogurt, and most of my meds can't be crushed or split :(

Applesauce or pudding/custard or anything else with a similar texture can help if they can be taken with food. Also, if you want to try directly swallowing, if you're taking a tablet tilt your head back, but if you're taking a capsule, tilt your head forward (capsules float). If anyone else has any suggestions, please add on in the notes!

[support-for-the-suicidal]

I want to die. I don't want to keep living in this horrid body but I must. Because I'm part of a system. We haven't been properly diagnosed due to money and general distrust of people, but we've known for months. My name is Benjamin. I'm the persecutor of my system. I don't want to live. My body is not right and I would like to kill myself, in all honesty. But I cannot. Because everyone else wants to live. And who am I to decide all of their fates? So I live. For them.

Plurality definitely adds a weight on suicidality because many people are sharing the same body. I'm sorry you're in this position, though, and I hope you can come to terms with your decision.

[support-for-the-suicidal]

I'm not inherently suicidal, as I don't want to actively kill myself, but the thought is unfortunately a familiar one. I'm an American, and I don't plan on living past 25 if America keeps going the way it is. I don't want it to happen, I really don't, but unless we fix some of this, I don't think that want to live will stay.

-🩷🐾

I definitely agree that the state of the world can be really discouraging, and I'm sorry it's affected you so much. I do hope we can improve society as well.

[support-for-the-suicidal]

I’ve spent my whole life asking for proper help and I’ve fought so hard for it and I never managed to get it (because of my family situation) and so I’ve been keeping myself alive and keeping myself quiet so no one else has to deal with it but me, I mean it’s not like they can cure me or something so whats the point in reaching out to people? All of my friends want to die and all of them are aways too busy caring for themselves to be able to actually care for other people. Everyone’s in their own personal hell.

I’ve kept myself alive for this long simply because I don’t want anyone to have to deal with my death but god It’s such a miserable existence and as much as I want to die I know that I won’t do it, everyone knows that too so they don’t bother to worry anymore, and I guess I am no one’s responsibility but god it feels so belittling.

You deserve support anon, and I'm sorry you didn't get it. You don't have to keep quiet though, and if it is safe, I encourage you to reach out to someone.

[support-for-the-suicidal]

there's a lucid nightmare that haunts me

its already a repeating nightmware that im late for school in the end of the finals, when i dont even get if im supposed to go to school or not, and if i finished all the tests or missed something then i go outside, my bicycle is stolen (happened recently irl) no there, blam, gravity shifts, and i fall from house wall to house wall going home by foot, exhausted

thats the repeating part

what haunts me one of the last times, i went to sleep angry and betrayed (pills made sleep) and when i see, as always, my bycicle is stolen, and the gravity shifts, i just gave up and went head first. this part.. I woke up with a migraine and sharp pain in the nose and forehead, per the hit in the nightmare, which was just lucid dream.. not nightmare in any sense until that part but i woke up...

since then my nightmares turned to my partner leaving me

so im pretty heavy and fogged and its weighing me lower

I'm sorry anon, that sounds really scary and hard to deal with. I hope you have someone/find someone to help you cope.

[support-for-the-suicidal]

i wanna tell so many people here "just go no contact, go away, the street CAN be safer than an abusive home"

im scared to say it

i dont think i should

but i cant shut up

there's nothing to heal until no contact fallout's over...

and i grieve it now, my whole wasted life

not saying\writing it to someone hurts, thats why i do to you

tnx for being there, i wish i knew tumblr this way sooner... much much much much sooner.. cause i was here.. the wrong way..

Definitely, if you (anyone) think no contact is the right choice for you, don't be afraid to try it as long as you're safe. You're welcome anon, and I'm glad I was able to provide some comfort to you.

[support-for-the-suicidal]

i tried to kill myself when i was between 10 and 12 years old, and my teachers saw and stopped me, but nothing else came of it. i still don't know if it was bc my teachers were incompetent, bc they didn't care, or bc my parents didn't care. and for some reason, thinking of that neglect sometimes makes me wish i'd actually died that day even though i'm only mildly suicidal now. it's weird that i'm not happier about surviving, even 20+ years later. i really do want to live, but sometimes i don't. it really sucks. i wish people had cared about me back then

I'm sorry they ignored you like that, you deserved support. It makes sense that you'd wish that you had died back then. Even if not many people cared for you when you were young, I hope you can find people who do care about you now.