“PROFESSOR!” A high-pitched voice shatters through the otherwise quiet infirmary, jolting many occupants awake. Leonie ignores the dirty looks as she dashes to where she sees Professor Nel, mindful enough to try and balance the tray of soup she brought with her from the dining hall. Once at her side, she places the tray on the side-table beside Nel’s cot and falls down to her knees, hands desperately shooting out to tightly grasp Nel’s good one.
“I’m so, so, so happy to see that you’re alive!” Words spoken in fast-tempo and wet, Leonie glances up at Nel with pitiful eyes. She’d throw her upper-half over Nel’s lap if she weren’t conscious of her injuries, ready to hug her as a deep apology for the events that transpired. For now, holding her hand was enough– Professor Nel was here and breathing.
Originally, Leonie was going to avoid her. She was ashamed of herself. She’d spent hours pondering: Could her remorse for Professor Nel’s death be genuine, when she mourns the same man who killed her?
The agony she felt on the battlefield had been real; the sight of a dear professor’s bloodied, maimed body haunts her. Yet Leonie, too, recalls the resurgence of relief she’d felt afterwards, the renewal of confidence that came with having a powerful ally like Lucio to support her.
(And even as she resolves herself to visit Nel, she can’t shake her admiration for Lucio. Rather, it had only strengthened– How could she hate him when, in certainty of Death, he spent his last moments trying to shield her and Leif? He had sworn himself to their safety and passionately committed to it, up until his last breath. How could she condemn someone like that, when Professor Nel’s death was an unfortunate byproduct of his valiant guardianship?)
Leonie had promised Professor Nel that she’d see their mission through. Likewise, she had promised Leif that they would all make it home, together. Both pledges ultimately rang true, but reality was undeniable: Leonie, even for the faintest minute, found Professor Nel’s death comforting.
She’s disgusted with herself, but she had to owe up to her actions.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Leonie continues, trying to keep a brave face. “I– I didn’t know Argent had turned you into a monster. I was just so caught up in the moment and I didn’t want my friends to die and Mercedes had been killed just moments before you did and everything was so overwhelming and—” She breathes in, sharp. “I’m just really sorry for my behavior. I just wanted to protect everyone, too.”
As if her head wasn't sore enough, the shrill shriek of Leonie's voice throughout the infirmary causes her to wince reflexively-- yet before she has a chance to fully process the fact that it's one of her students, Leonie has already made it to her bedside with a tray... and a firm grip on the hand that remains free of a brace, leaving Nel to blink down at her in utter confusion. It takes a few moments before her gaze softens upon seeing the tears welling in the girl's eyes, and she gently turns her hand over to squeeze the one that clings to her now.
A reassurance. She's here, she's fine. Her life is out of danger, and she is expected to make a full recovery.
"Thank you, Leonie. You have no reason to apologize." Tone remaining soft, aiming to soothe, it's effortless to step back into her role as a teacher-- and more importantly, a confidant. "You fought a valiant battle, and for that... I am thankful. I know this mission was-- difficult."
An understatement, considering how she's seen the effects on some of the others from their unit. There is one thing that catches her attention, though, and Nel blinks once, twice... before she realizes exactly what's being referenced.
"Monster? No, actually... that is normal for a dr--" She stops mid-sentence, shaking her head. Perhaps it's for the best if Leonie believes that to only have been a figment of the mirror's narrative, and they can address it if the topic ever arises in the future. Sincerely, she hopes it doesn't-- as her transformation is saved for last resort situations. Anything to avoid frightening the little ones, something she had already done plenty of over the duration of their stay in the mirror's world.
"I understand. I, too, wanted to protect everyone- yet I failed in that endeavor... and for that I offer my own apology. But, Leonie-"
"You did well. You did the best that you could with the resources you had. Sometimes, that is all we can ask of ourselves." It takes a moment for her to carefully pry her hand away from her student's before instead placing it on the top of her head, a gentle movement of her thumb a means of calming her. "To stand by your convictions and do what you believe is right... is not an easy feat."
In a way, she's thankful for the man that struck her down. Much in the same way that Nel desired to protect everyone, it seemed as if he did as well-- stepping in front of Leif and Leonie to shield them from what he perceived as an enemy. Was he not doing the same thing that Nel was, just on different sides of the equation?
A shame. For she thinks that the two of them could have understood each other, driven by the same desire.
One of them had done a better job, though.
"Please, take all the time you need to rest. You have endured much, and you must give yourself a chance to breathe."
She should take her own advice, shouldn't she?
