#surface level thinking

[extremely-judgemental]

Rhys isn't good guy playing bad. He did bad things and sometimes felt bad about it.

Eris technically doesn't do anything wrong. People believe he did. He doesn't deny the rumours and plays along.

Eris is the real good guy playing bad.

[extremely-judgemental]

Why couldn't it be 'I would rather have my mate alive and safe than have a child' instead of 'I rebuilt my body to bear our child'?

Nesta had a magical surgery for a child she may or may not have. Cassian won't even stand up to his brother who constantly threatens to kill his mate.

Why are people still shipping this?

[extremely-judgemental]

People who say SJM can't write soft women are wrong. Or at least she accidentally wrote one in the best way possible.

No, it's not Elain. It's Gwyn.

Gwyn is kind and sweet to everyone. She's funny. She's observant of everyone and everything around her. She's considerate. She indulges in 'feminine' hobbies like making bracelets. She entertains her friends by taking interests in their hobbies as well. She invites Nesta to their prayers knowing she'd enjoy the music, the only source of music in HoW. She loves her family very much and carries guilt for not doing enough to save her sister. She doesn't let that grief to dictate how she treats others, nor does she bring others down. She healed herself (most parts) even when cut off from the rest of the world. She makes new friends and help them become better not in a 'I'm going to save her' way but she's compassionate. She isn't afraid to cry and express her feelings to her friends who later become her sisters. On top of it all, she faced her fears for her found family. She doesn't care about other's opinions of her. She's willing to sacrifice her life for them.

Literally this woman has done nothing wrong so far, at all.

I don't understand how anyone could hate this character. Honestly, she's one of the few characters who's refreshing and well developed in the series.

[extremely-judgemental]

'Feyre didn't know Tamlin was spying on Hybern.'

Babygirl, that's what spying means. To work in secrecy.

[extremely-judgemental]

People supporting Feyre's decision to lock Nesta up in HoW shows how much they choose to be ignorant.

Feyre says she loves Nesta and cares about her well-being. But honestly she still harbours deep resentment and internalised hatred towards Nesta.

She apparently forgives Nesta. Still, she sides with Rhysand to imprison her depressed sister when their reputation is on the line? She could have suggested she and Elain stay with Nesta the whole time. Or if it was that necessary, she could have imprisoned Nesta with Morrigan or Amren instead.

Instead she's fine with forcing Nesta to stay with Cassian. There's no exit. There's no other woman in the house except for the priestesses who never leave the library. Nesta has to stay with two men. It wouldn't matter if they are men of the best character because she doesn't know them, they are not even her friend.

Which woman would ever lock up another woman in a house with a man who clearly wants to have sex with her? Which woman would subject another woman to this, let alone her own sister? Unless she hates her so, so much. Most women wouldn't even then.

This is not romantic tension. This is not cute. This is not healing.

This is straight up torture.

BTW in traditional romance novels, if a guy suggests his partner lock up her sister because he is embarrassed by her, he'd be the manipulative ex who gets dumped by act two. But a lot of you are not ready for that talk yet.

[extremely-judgemental]

Can we talk about Tamlin again? His story is infinitely sad.

During his younger years, he hides his true nature for the fear of his father and brothers. He has no interest in being a High Lord and is completely satisfied working with his brothers-in-arms and protecting his court. Ultimately his powers come through and he's hated by his brothers. He obeys every command from his father so that he isn't assumed to be a rebel and ends up betraying his mentor. Since then he lives in fear of Rhysand and resists him little whenever insulted because of his guilt.

With his father's murder he becomes the one thing he didn't want to be. He has to leave the life he loved to become someone his people need. Despite the lack of proper training with the court matters, he accepts the one job he always hated.

He offers home to Lucien making an enemy out of Autumn, his neighbouring court which no one would do for a complete stranger who isn't much of a benefit to his court in any way. Lucien becomes his only friend, confidant and family.

I think no one talks about this part as much as they should. When Amarantha establishes her rule, he's the only High Lord allowed to walk out freely. She gives him fifty years to break the curse. Not only is his court condemned all the same, he can't blame failing to save Prythian on his imprisonment like the other HLs could. Knowing Tamlin is warrior at heart, it's heartbreaking that he has to willingly send his 'brothers' to their death. What isn't addressed (enough or at all) is the resentment others UtM or in Prythian develop towards him for not undoing the curse already or trying enough when he stopped sending his sentries out to die. Every time Amarantha does anything remotely cruel, Tamlin would be blamed too for turning his back on entire fae population. Somehow this is glossed over as if fifty years of captivity wouldn't affect the way others see Tamlin.

He finally finds someone who loves him and could potentially break the curse. He ensures her family is taken care of when he didn't have to, long before they fall in love with each other. But he sends her away for her safety damning himself to more blame and hatred. He accepts his fate as Amarantha's toy when the woman he loves returns only to be treated like a circus animal and tortured and abused. He watches as the entirety of fae population bets against her life, watch Feyre almost get killed twice and truly killed once.

Once they are free, he has to build his court back up and also protect Feyre and his people. Even after all those years, he doesn't trust himself qualified to be a HL and takes advice from anyone including Ianthe who manipulates and betrays him, who he believed to be his friend.

We know how it goes from here. Feyre leaves with the one who abused her UtM. Rhysand gloats whenever he can. Tamlin makes a deal with someone crueler than Amarantha. He believes Feyre finally is safe from Rhysand only to realise she's played him. He loses Lucien. He loses the trust of the very people he cared about so much. He cares about the realm enough to spy for the other courts though no one believes him or even likes him. He helps Feyre and her sister. He helps bring the one man he hates so much back to life for her sake. Even after everything his court still suffers from what Feyre and the war did. For a soldier to watch his land wither away, it must be one of the worst nightmares.

There's one scene that always gets me. The one in ACOMAF where Tamlin is with his sentries, talking and laughing with his people during some gathering. That was supposed to be his life, he almost had it if he had the chance to heal. But all of it was stripped away because he loved Feyre and tried over and over again to protect her, blindly sacrificing everything for her. Then I remember Tamlin in his manor, empty and in ruins, with no one around.

To come to think of it, he has received hate almost all his life. Sometimes, rightfully so. But mostly for none of his fault. Maybe he deserves a break after all.

[extremely-judgemental]

Not saying it was the right thing to do. But I get the whole Tamlin putting a ward around the house trapping Feyre.

I mean, Rhys walked into the house whenever he liked like he owned the place. Tamlin found Rhys outside their bedroom waiting for Feyre to call on the bargain.

Who wouldn't lose their fucking mind when they don't feel safe in their own home?

Still, not a good move. But I do understand the reason.

[extremely-judgemental]

Long Post

Feyre doesn't love anyone. This is a speculation and I don't have the strength to go through the books again. So, take this with a grain of salt.

Her mortal relationships. All her life, Feyre feels neglected by her family. She is estranged from her sisters, though they are close to her age, and her father. She has no friends before her family fell into poverty or after. The only one she gets close to is Isaac with whom she shares an intimate relationship but no emotional bond. She treats him as a distraction and a means to numb her pain. At this point, she’s so out of touch with her feelings that she can’t identify them—like the time Nesta brings up Isaac and Feyre vaguely feels something close to jealousy but nothing more, which is more likely her fear of losing her emotional outlet.

Tamlin. In Spring, Feyre unwittingly bonds with Lucien and Tamlin. But she never comes to fully trust them as she’s used to relying on only herself. She develops an attachment with Tamlin, in a grateful sort of way, once he becomes someone she needed all her life—someone who saw her, someone who cared for her, someone she expected her family to be. She risks her life for him, but it’s not just out of love. Feyre has the tendency to take every burden upon herself. It makes her feel invaluable and useful. Proof—she takes up hunting when she could have done anything else. It fulfils the promise she made to her mother. The higher the risks, the better. Even if she fails, she tried everything to take care of her loved ones and she can’t be blamed. This applies to saving Tamlin too.

Moreover, Feyre thrives in danger. When she’s first brought to Spring, the danger is Tamlin himself. But it fades as she starts to see him for who he is, so she seeks more—like going to Calanmai when she’s clearly warned to stay put and when she knows other fae are going to be present. Later, loving Tamlin becomes the ultimate danger for a mortal like her.

After Under the Mountain, Spring is not gratifying anymore. Feyre is bored. For the majority of her life, she’s played saviour for her family and then Tamlin. That sense of identity slips away the longer she is in Spring as Tamlin becomes her protector. She keeps chasing him into danger knowing Amarantha’s cronies and other creatures are on the prowl outside their mansion because she wants to be useful again, she wants a purpose.

Also, Feyre never admits she’s in love with Tamlin until she hears him say it. After learning of the mating bonds, she waits for it to happen between the two before she decides if she can love him. Her real feelings would have been proven if she had declared her love sooner breaking the curse.

Rhysand. This also corroborates why Feyre feels alive every time she leaves Tamlin because of the bargain. She’s still locked inside a castle atop a mountain day and night which no one enters or leaves besides Rhysand and Morrigan—same condition that suffocated her in Spring. She has no one to talk to or can do none of the things she fought for with Tamlin. But it satiates her urges since she is in enemy territory.

Feyre low-key wants to be in grave situations digging her way out and so, she’s open to her life with Rhysand. The foundation of their relationship is his willingness to thrust her into one adventure after the other in the name of saving lives. Also, sex and being reckless are Feyre’s coping mechanisms which she gets in abundance with Rhysand.

This could be a stretch but Feyre is quick to forgive Rhysand about keeping the complications of her pregnancy from her. For months, she’s safe in their safest mansion in their safest city, protected by a personal magic bubble. The pregnancy itself now poses the danger she craves and it’s easy to justify with whatever reason she’s fed because that’s the norm by now. Again with Rhysand, she never recognises her emotions other than her attraction. It’s after Suriel slips the truth to her, she decides she’s in love with Rhysand.

Nyx. Feyre’s reason for wanting a child is quite twisted. She doesn’t want one for the sake of having a child or nurturing a life, but she wants an extension of Rhysand. She’s afraid of losing her mate and wants to preserve a part of him in her life. That’s who Nyx will always be to her. This will be problematic when Nyx grows into his own person and deviates from being more than a reflection of Rhysand. Feyre may start controlling every aspect of his life until he fits the mould.

Inner Circle. Feyre’s friendship with the Inner Circle is circumstantial. They are the only ones she meets and bonds with in Velaris. They accept her long before they know her because of Rhysand. Morrigan is aware she is his mate while Azriel and Cassian suspect it. Moreover, they see her as the one who freed their friend and brought him back home. None of them love her for who she is and Feyre never sees them for who they are. This severely hinders her ability to decide if they are worthy of her friendship, yet she eventually accepts them because Rhysand regards him highly. (If this doesn’t make sense, Nesta and Feyre have similar personalities and attitudes but they both are treated very differently.)

Love = Control. Feyre confuses responsibility with love a lot. None of her treatment towards her sisters, however manipulative, is not out of love but she still lives by the promise. Her idea of taking care of someone is controlling their lives. She keeps Elain close and meddles with her relationship with Lucien or Azriel. She lets Inner Circle break Nesta down, ensuring she never defies them. She extends this to Lucien too after they leave Spring. The concept of love is so warped in her mind and she vilifies anyone who doesn’t let her dominate them—Tamlin, Lucien, Nesta.

Feyre’s obsession with life-threatening situations is similar to an abuse survivor’s need for abuse to keep their life thrilling and familiar. She rejects Tamlin (ignoring the domestic violence) and Tarquin for the same reason—they don’t offer her that excitement she seeks. With Inner Circle’s hero complex, Feyre lacks none of this entertainment. Her relationship with Rhysand is a series of her coping mechanisms—sex, war, sex on a loop. Feyre never heals. If she had, she would have a better grasp of her emotions and developed the ability to love others without conditions.