@manybcdthings astra x felix - base
The blood. The screaming. Astra doesn't think she's processed any of it properly. She never has. Not when she was a child, and not now. She remembers standing still, like time curled in on itself, holding her by the throat. The sounds didn't reach her, not really, they felt far away like she was underwater. But the feeling of it all? Of Bouse, the wrongness, of how close it all was to ending differently. It's stuck to her skin like the blood she can't quite get off her hands. All she can think about is Nova. This is the world her little girl lives in now. Everything feels borrowed, like she's stepped into a version of herself that was necessary but not true.
Back at base, there's a hum in the walls. Even in their room, she can still hear it. It's only when her fingers touch against Felix's that it dampens, making her let out a breath. Finally. Her eyes flick up to his, not searching but checking. They're still here. He's still here. It's okay. "I know what you're going to say." Astra's voice is quiet, but somehow there's the usual conviction embedded within her words. She wets another cloth and this time turns her attention to the mess made of Felix's torso. She can see the healing bruises and breaks, repairing itself under his skin but it doesn't matter. She hates to see it at all, and she always has.
"I still want to go next time." she finishes her thought, once again her eyes on his with a more knowing look. Unmovable even though there's a shake in her breath. "Felix, I have to." Astra adds, her gaze shifting to something determined before she gently presses the cloth to his side, easing away some of the dried blood. She focuses for a moment, rhythmic with the motion. Back and forth. And then, finally, there's a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth. "Why do you always end up shirtless?"