The thing about moving in with your girlfriend is that you learn a lot of new things about her that you can make fun of. For example, lately I have been making fun of her need to specify the use of everything. She’s all like “this is a dish towel, this is a face towel, this is a blah blah blah” to which I reply in my arrogant and sarcastic tone “hahaha… It doesn’t matter! Due to the anti-bacterial nature of detergent and the purifying effects of hot water, a towel is a towel. If I use it on my face one week, wash it, then use it on the dishes the next week, it’s all good. Don’t you believe in science? Hahaha” This clearly bothers her, which makes it all the more funny to me. So yesterday, after a good towel washing the weekend before, I see my girlfriend drying a plate using a small yellow towel. You see, despite what I said before, this towel DOES have a specific usage, and she knows this! I always keep this towel (and only THIS towel) next to my computer to clean up what I refer to as “auto-erotic messes” that sometimes occur due to my love of Internet cinema or "duo-erotic messes" that sometimes occur due to my love of her. So, as I notice her drying one of the 4 total plates that I own, I look up and instantly have a look of disgust on my face. Right away I get up, grab the towel, throw the plate into the trash can, and walk off clearly bothered by the incident.
Her: “what’s the matter, don’t you believe in science? hahahaha”
Me: “fuck science, don’t touch my towel. By the way, you owe me a plate.”
