You Have A Very Soft Voice, Susan: A Shocking True Story of Internet Stalking by Susan Fensten
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This is a wild ride of a true crime memoir, recommended if you are looking for something completely different. It is frustrating, in more than one way. Susan befriended her stalker and felt sorry for him–she is refreshingly forthcoming with her faults, and with the problems in…
Susan deals with the new reality of knowing the truth.
Kerry Goldberg (Victim Rights Law) talks about how the stalker wants power and control. She points out how Bobby was both the stalker and Susan's confidant, and how that increased his control over Susan.
And we saw this with him being the one to encourage her engagement, locate real world articles, and debate events with her. His knowledge of her also let him make it seem like the stalker cast was always nearby, as they knew things strangers couldn't.
Also, by being her confidant, by being the one person who believes in her and is willing to discuss the stalking ad nauseam, he strengthened his relationship with Susan.
Dr. Joni Johnston talks about how important going no contact is, but the issue with Susan and her situation is that (1) she had no idea Bobby was the stalker and so would not have cut him off, and (2) she was dealing with an entire cast of people. If she cut off Leonard, for example, she likely still would have engaged with Karen and Hal. She had no reason, until the FBI started investigating, to suspect they weren't real. Going no contact is difficulty when you're dealing with a faceless hydra of puppets.
Bobby's letter interests me, especially given how Leonard played out. He wants her to save him, much as Leonard was getting positioned as a victim who needed Susan to save him. (He definitely did not expect to get caught. He had no plan).
I'm also interested by how the law hadn't caught up yet. They struggled to find something to prosecute Bobby with because there was no evidence of imminent threat of physical harm.
Spoilers for the stalker's identity below the cut.
CALLED IT!!!
Susan's boyfriend is able to get through to the FBI. The agent thinks it is nothing, but he looks into the case regardless. He finds a rabbit hole.
All the people are real, but none of them are involved. The stalker stole their identities.
Okay. So the interesting thing here is that once the FBI get involved, the stalker backs off a bit. While Bobby isn't informed initially, he's Susan's "rock" so I'm sure she told him eventually. That would explain the cool-off.
But he can't let go. So, he sends an e-card in the new year, but Susan doesn't open it or respond.
This leads to a massive escalation. He sends e-cards from her work address to all her colleagues. The first one says she doesn't like her job and wants to be having sex, inviting the recipients to hit her up. The cards only escalate from there.
This attack is a punishment. Susan isn't going to believe in the stalker cast anymore, so stuff like this is all the stalker can do. And instead of using the baseline/trust -> offbalance -> attack cycle we've been seeing, he goes straight for a massive attack with the potential for real world consequences.
Some other notes: I forgot in how, in ep 3, Susan talked with Bobby trying to find alternative explanations for the woman in the car (who we still don't have an explanation for). This is important because arguing can cement belief.
Another key note from ep 4, Susan talks about how, in the early aughts, no one was doing these sock puppet things/etc. Now, us in fandom know that isn't entirely true, but she has a point that it was less known and therefore more effective back then. Now we know to look up odd email addresses, spot fake emails, etc. Back then? Not so much.
Susan also talks about going back through her emails and finding inconsistencies and such she didn't notice before. Like watermarks on photos and videos. Or two people with the same lexical quirks (e.g., thankyou instead of thank you). It makes complete sense that she didn't notice these at the time, because she was in a constant state of high emotions. When your emotions are high like that, you really only notice the things that validate your emotional state.
Below the cut, you'll find my thoughts on Hal and Felix the Cat and the use of verifiable information and bread crumbs.
"I immediately forwarded that email straight to Bobby."
Yeah, I'm even more certain Bobby is the true stalker.
Hal, Felix the Cat, and the (New) Baseline/Trust/Off-Balance/Attack Cycle
This episode introduces two new members of the stalking cast: Hal and Felix the Cat/Robert McCaugtry (or however you spell his name).
Hal is Karen's husband. His role is to be the Objective One. His information immediately gets the sheen of accuracy because he doesn't paper over anything like Karen does.
Felix the Cat is introduced as a new threat. He propositions Susan and shares personal information of hers, showing off that he knows her.
The role of the stalking cast this time is putting Susan off-balance. Through Karen and Hal, Susan learns about Graystone, Leonard's friends, Leonard's tendency to disappear, and that he is obsessed with Susan.
Sharon emails to accuse Susan again of ruining her family, this time by causing Sharon's fiancé to call off their wedding. While Karen and Hal have already planted the idea that Leonard is a Dangerous Sex Fiend and Rapist, Sharon plants the idea that he is also a Murderer. Sharon further establishes herself as a major threat.
During this time, Karen notes that Sharon and Leonard are now estranged. This implies that one could protect Susan from the other in the future. Given the glee that Sharon demonstrates for Susan's murder, Susan is already thinking of Leonard as the safer of the two.
When Leonard reaches out, his behavior conforms with Susan's expectations. Interestingly, he comes on too strong at first, but then backs down in the second email becoming almost child-like (note: I have opinions on how the names were chosen and I'm thinking Leonard is inspired by Lenny from Of Mice and Men).
(The most surprising twist will be that I'm wrong and all these people are real).
At this point, Susan is extremely off-balance and terrified.
Then enter Felix the Cat who comes on very strongly and says he knows where Susan lives, about her pet, her phone number, etc. (This also aligns him a bit with Sharon who said she visited Susan's neighborhood and gathered information about her).
This is the attack.
The point of the attack is to push the victim further into the stalker's grasp. In this case, Susan responds by asking Leonard to deal with his friend.
Leonard does. I'm expecting that, in the next episode, he'll tell Susan she owes him.
Verifiable Information and Breadcrumbs
Something that happens over and over again in this episode is that someone (usually Hal, sometimes Karen) will share a detail that Susan can look up and verify online.
Susan then assumes that because the event is true, that Hal and Karen's intel is also true.
They tell Susan that Hal's friend, a pretty girl, disappeared and turned up dead and that Leonard has been questioned about it. Susan tells Bobby who finds the information for her. She is able to read actual news articles about this actual girl who was murdered.
Because a real girl was actually murdered, Susan assumes that everything is true: Leonard and the girl were friends and that police are questioning Leonard.
Susan learns from Hal that that Belarus thing that Karen glossed over was actually regarding child pornography. Susan tells Bobby who sends her a news link. A CP ring stationed in Belarus was busted previously, and people in New Jersey (where Leonard supposedly lives) were implicated.
So, since the Belarus thing is real, Susan assumes that Leonard really was implicated and his computer confiscated.
The Lou and Robert bits were especially frustrating. Susan has learned that these two are Leonard's friends, and that both have criminal records. Bobby looks them up and sends Susan their publicly available police profiles.
Because these men exist, Susan assumes the story about them being friends with Leonard is also true. She also assumes that Felix the Cat really is Robert, but she has no proof of this.
By braiding in verifiable information, the stalker cast paints all of their information with the same brush of veracity.
And now breadcrumbs.
The stalkers drop information and let Susan put it together. Because Susan is the one drawing conclusions, she is more likely to believe in them.
The profile for Robert M. includes known aliases, one of which is Felix the Cat. So, when someone with that email address reaches out to her, Susan already knows it must be Robert.
The Leonard trail is a bit longer and more elaborate, but the various members of the stalker cast drop breadcrumbs. No one says Leonard is a murderer. Sharon implies it. The story about the murdered girl implies it. All the talk about Leonard being dangerous strengthen those implications.
No one says Leonard is obsessed with Susan (maybe Sharon did?), but Karen's story about the portrait implies it. Sharon's email and the supposed estrangement between Sharon and Leonard strengthen that belief.
No one says Leonard murdered Felix the Cat, but he used ambiguous information in his email and Karen says Leonard's friend has disappeared. Susan assumes the friend is Felix and assumes Leonard murdered him.
She isn't drawing these conclusions out of nowhere, but she is drawing them based solely on information being fed to her by the stalker cast.
Okay, so no spoilers, but based on ep 1 alone, I think Bobby's at the center of this all. This lets him be both threat and comfort. Plus, he's the one pushing her to engage. It also explains how "Leonard" knew about her AOL complaint and phone number. If it were a movie, it'd be him. We'll see! Ignore this prediction entirely, please.
Okay, episode content itself. Listening was so frustrating. I get that this was early Internet days and Susan Fensten (the victim and narrator) is laying out months of events neatly, but goodness.
Spoilers for ep1 below the cut
"Karen" reaches out first to suggest they're cousins, and proves this by sharing only information Susan had shared first. Karen does send a photo at one point, but only of people Susan doesn't know.
Once the relationship with Karen has been established, Susan is introduced to "Leonard" (a good man, really) and "Sharon" (she means well). Leonard reaches out kindly, but then ghosts Susan. Meanwhile, Karen keeps talking up her brother and how she's sure he and Susan would be fast friends.
At this point, Karen has established herself as someone friendly and helpful. Leonard has been built as a positive connection, but then he pulls back without warning. This creates an off-balanced feeling and sense of intrigue.
Instead of being pulled in, though, Susan decides to step back.
This is when Sharon emails Susan, accusing her of being a con-artist. While not exactly DARVO, Sharon's email does share some similarities. Sharon introduces the idea of con-artistry, but then accuses Susan of being the con-artist preying of her poor, weak brother and sister.
This hurts and angers Susan. When Bobby recommends she reply angrily, Susan does. Susan is being drawn further into the world of these cousins. Every interaction -- Karen's friendliness, Leonard warmth to cold routine, and Sharon's accusations -- all serve to strengthen both Susan's relationship with them and their reality. The various interactions and the varied emotions they evoke make them feel more real.
When she starts pulling away, they throw another line at her, leashing her to them. (I say "they" and "them," but I don't believe the cousins exist. However, since each cousin has their own role and purpose, and since I don't know for sure they aren't real yet, I'll continue referring to them as them).
Susan disengages. (Good on her!) Which leads to a new attack: porn. Whenever Leonard is on AOL, she gets sent a lot of porn from different sites, users, etc. She complains, and he sends her an email referencing the complaint. She complains again, and he sends an email accusing Susan of being a con artist, prostitute, stalker, and more.
What Susan does next shows just how important the early stages of this stalking con were. She emails Karen for help.
Karen, very apologetic, stops the porn attacks (explaining she's re-institutionalized her brother) and then shares an explanation with Susan that is scary, detailed, but incomplete. She refers to things like "Lou Barr incident" (or w/e that name was) without explaining them.
This does a few things: (1) it strengthens Karen's role as an ally to Susan, (2) it establishes Karen's ability to provide aid, (3) it shares the story of the "world" the cousins are creating, and (4) it evokes curiosity. Susan now has questions. Emails resume.
Each email overwhelms Susan with information and apprehension. Once again, she's being being pushed off-balance.
Then Karen provides a threat and makes a request. The threat? Leonard will be released from the hospital soon. The request? Be nice to him. Don't call the police.
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It is interesting to think what I would do in Susan's place. I enjoy engaging with strangers online, and I tend to assume good intentions. That said, I also don't trust people and fact-check a lot. So who knows.
This hook, though, was baited for Susan using what she longed for: family. The stalker at the center of this uses a variety of faces and strategies to establish trust, disturb (push off balance), and then attack. With each attack, Susan cleaves closer to those she trusts ("Karen" and Bobby).
Karen (and Bobby) build trust and then push Susan toward the disturbing moment (e.g., Bobby normalizing looking for family online by saying he's doing the same; Karen talking about Leonard). Once Susan is off-balance, a new element is introduced as an attack. So far this has been Sharon introducing the idea that Susan is preying on her family.
When Susan engages, the manipulation moves to the next level. A new baseline is established. In the new baseline, Leonard is attacking Susan with porn, innuendo, and lies.
And the cycle begins anew. Karen steps in to build trust and set up the next disturbance and attack. I'm looking forward to the next episode to see what those may be.
