Keeping Up With The Jackson's
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"So... we thought planning a relaxing family vacation would be a good idea."
The house is unusually quiet.
Michael quietly walks into the kitchen in fuzzy socks, humming to himself as he pours cereal into a bowl, followed by gummy worms and sour candy.
He looks toward the camera.
"Please don't tell Janet."
Jermajesty is asleep face-first across the bed.
Half his body is hanging off the mattress.
You slowly pull the blanket off him.
"We need to leave in less than an hour."
His eyes immediately flew open.
The camera cuts to the kitchen.
Janet walks in already dressed.
She takes one look around the house.
"...Nobody else is ready, are they?"
Production shakes the camera "no."
"Everybody was told to be ready by 8:00 A.M."
Michael is sitting on the living room floor surrounded by books.
Jaafar is walking around with one shoe on.
Jermaine is eating breakfast.
Randy Jr. is still looking for his hoodie.
Jermajesty is carrying an empty suitcase.
You finally decide to inspect everybody's luggage before leaving.
Michael wheels over three enormous suitcases.
"...Where are your clothes?"
You slowly close the zipper.
"I'm not even gonna ask what's in the third one."
He tosses one duffel bag onto the couch.
"I don't understand why everybody keeps acting like shoes aren't important."
Jermajesty drags over his suitcase.
"I actually packed everything."
Eight identical black hoodies.
Five identical sweatpants.
"Why are there eight of the same hoodie?"
“They’re all different shades of black, though.”
Jermaine casually walks past, carrying a single backpack.
"That's all you're bringing?"
"I'll buy everything else when we get there."
"Traveling light builds character."
Janet quietly walks past, pulling one designer suitcase.
"That doesn't look too bad."
"That's just my skincare."
"You never know what your skin is gonna need."
Mama Katherine rolls one tiny suitcase into the hallway.
"I just know yours actually makes sense."
Production films everybody dragging their luggage toward the entrance.
Michael is still carrying a book.
"...but somehow we're actually making good time."
The camera cuts to everyone in line getting screened by airport security.
Mama Katherine is holding everyone's boarding passes.
Jermaine is eating a muffin. (Always eating)
Jaafar has his camera out already.
Randy Jr. is filming everybody on his phone.
Jermajesty is trying to convince you to carry one of his bags.
"I carried it all the way from the house."
"You literally packed eight hoodies."
Everything is going surprisingly smoothly.
Michael casually reaches into his jacket pocket.
His smile slowly disappears.
He quietly pats every pocket again.
"I can't find my passport."
Janet slowly lowers her glasses.
Jaafar takes off one headphone.
"I told everybody to check before we left."
Michael starts checking every pocket again.
"It's probably in my bag."
Twenty-three minutes later.
The entire family is sitting on the airport floor while Michael's luggage has been completely unpacked.
Three different poetry books.
"I don't know what's crazier."
"The fact that he lost his passport"
"...or the fact he somehow packed twenty-seven books, and seven dictionaries."
Jermajesty just rolls over and goes to take a nap.
"I'm really trying to be supportive"
Airport staff slowly begin recognizing Michael.
One employee whispers to another.
"That's Michael Jackson."
The second employee looks over.
Everybody watches him disappear through a staff door.
Holding a temporary travel document.
Everybody just stares at him.
"I’m so glad we're related."
"I'm sleeping in the airport."
Production loses sight of Michael.
A tiny airport bookstore.
Michael is sitting in the children's section.
Reading a book about whales.
He holds up the book excitedly.
"Did you know blue whales can communicate hundreds of miles apart?"
"And that's fascinating."
He lights up immediately.
You gently take his hand.
"Our plane boards in ten minutes."
"I have accepted that this man will somehow find books literally anywhere."
"...it's one of my favorite things about him."
Production follows everybody down the plane bridge.
Jermajesty immediately tries to trade seats.
"I'm not sitting by Randy."
Randy Jr. looks offended.
"I have literally never been accused of breathing too aggressively before."
Janet already has her headphones on before she even reaches her seat.
Mama Katherine settles into her seat peacefully.
Jermaine somehow falls asleep before takeoff.
The plane hasn't even left the gate.
The flight attendant walks by.
"Would anyone like anything to drink?"
"Can I get four ginger ales?"
Production immediately zooms in.
The family finally arrives at the villa.
Production films a gorgeous beachfront property.
Everybody stops walking and just marvels at the view.
"I've always loved places like this."
"It reminds me to slow down and just live."
Production follows everybody inside.
Jermajesty throws his suitcase into the biggest bedroom.
"You literally whispered 'dibs' to yourself."
They both just stand there staring at each other.
"I would've let him have the room."
"But now it's about principle."
Janet opens her bedroom door.
Nobody sees her again for thirty minutes.
You and Jermajesty walk into your room together.
He immediately jumps onto the bed.
"This mattress expensive."
CONFESSIONAL — JERMAJESTY
"I judge hotels based on mattresses."
"It’s gotta be good, I mean, you don't want it to break when you fucking."
Production gathers everybody downstairs.
Michael immediately starts asking questions.
"What kind of wood is that?"
"Do those trees attract birds?"
Jaafar walks toward the pool.
Everybody immediately yells
Production cuts back to Episode 1 footage of Jaafar walking straight into the pool.
"...I'm never escaping that, am I?"
"This is probably my favorite part."
"The craziness slows down for about five minutes"
"and everybody remembers why they love spending time together."
Everybody is gathered around the pool.
Jermaine is attempting to grill.
Mama Katherine is sitting comfortably under an umbrella.
Michael is already in the pool...for some reason wearing a life jacket.
"...I just like being extra safe."
Jermajesty walks outside carrying a giant inflatable swan.
Jaafar walks toward the pool carrying drinks.
Production immediately zooms in.
Dramatic music begins playing.
Jermajesty notices first.
He walks directly into the pool.
Drinks spill out everywhere.
Jermajesty immediately falls to the ground laughing.
Jaafar slowly stands up in waist-deep water.
"...I genuinely thought I was walking around it."
"I don't wanna talk about it."
Nobody remembers who started it.
One second, everybody was relaxing.
Michael ends up double-wielding two water guns.
The camera cuts to him getting hit by three balloons at once.
Prince and Bigi immediately join forces against him.
Janet acts like she isn't participating...
Until she starts throwing water balloons directly at Jermaine.
Changed into comfortable clothes.
The grill is finally going.
Michael insists on helping.
Jermaine insists he's already helping.
Nobody can actually figure out who's cooking.
Production cuts to slow-motion footage of Jermaine flipping exactly one burger and walking away.
Dinner is finally served.
Everybody gathers around one long table.
People talk over each other.
It’s loud, but it’s Home.
Mama Katherine sets down the dominoes.
Everybody knows what time it is.
"...We're about to lose bad."
Mama Katherine hasn't lost a single round.
She looks directly into the camera.
Everybody immediately speaks up.
“How could you even ask that?”
CONFESSIONAL — Jermajesty
"I don't know if she cheats."
"I'm also not brave enough to accuse her."
Everybody drifts toward the beach.
Production follows from a distance.
Jermajesty reaches over and holds your hand.
Without looking away from the sunset
"I think moments like this are my favorite."
Production walks into the kitchen.
Only the refrigerator light is visible.
Michael is standing there.
Pouring milk straight into the cereal box.
He freezes up when he notices the camera.
"I think that's what makes this family special."
"No matter how crazy they get"
"No matter how much arguing happens"
"Somehow we always end up together."
FINAL CONFESSIONAL — MICHAEL
"I always said I wanted a really big family."
"...I got exactly what I wished for."
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