what if u were MISSING AN ELBOW and you'd just defeated the eldritch horror who spawned you via MITOSIS to reach your first WIMBLEDON FINAL. and you had to play your BIGGEST RIVAL against whom you'd suffered the most heartbreaking loss of your career only 1 MONTH ago who also happened to be the 2-time DEFENDING CHAMPION. and you lost the first set and everyone was calling you a FRAUD. but then you harnessed the power of the POPE and approx 20 TUMBLR LESBIANS and proceeded to break his 24-match win streak (and 5-match win streak against you) to WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP. and then u got drunk and danced with IGA SWIATEK and posted 5 BILLION instagram posts. well i'm happy to report that smth similar happened to my friend jannik sinner
(pt. 3 to this)

















