Meanwhile in Sweden - Banking-Edition, or Why Do I Still Have This Account, or We Have Customer Service (Allegedly)
I really have to wonder if the bank I have an account with in Sweden even wants customers to be able to contact them. Or if they just want anyone who is not already a customer to be unable to contact them.
Context:
This bank relies heavily on a digital identification method (as does a lot of shit in Sweden, but that's a whole separate rant). They rely on it to the point that if you, as a customer, try to call them for help with something, you have to identify yourself with that. There used to be a number you could call if you didn't want to use that; this was just for general questions and wasn't really for customers to use. I say that there used to be a number like that, because I tried calling it today, and it demands that particular identification method now. Fun.
Extra context:
My old phone is a 2012-model that doesn't support the OS demanded for the new update for the app running this digital identification method. Since March, I haven't had access to any online services for my account, which is An Issue.
I recently got a new phone as a graduation gift. A gift that I did not really want and very specifically only got because I am pretty much softlocked out of everything in Sweden if I do not have this particular identification method. Tax-office shit, banks, fucking anything, you NEED this thing (again, separate rant). I still have a fucking student loan to pay off in Sweden, so I've kept the account with this bank for the purpose of Minimal Fuckery (which has turned into Maximum Fuckery).
I cannot activate this digital identification method on the new phone. It won't let me. You can normally do this in three differnet ways - using your old phone's one (obviously not possible, it won't even let me use the app now), a security calculator thing (think two-step authentication device; I Had one, but it's dead, and you can't switch batteries in them and the bank doesn't send them to addresses not in Sweden, so this is out too), and a passport or ID. I tried using my passport. Works fine - up until I agree to the final terms and conditions, upon which it suddenly gives me the message that it doesn't work and that it's to do with the bank's terms and conditions, but it doesn't tell me what part of those terms and conditions are broken, so Idk what's up.
I can't contact the bank for help with this. Can't call - all the numbers are softlocked behind this goddamn identification wall. Can't use a chat-service on their site - it's a virtual assistant, which has always been absolutely useless and pointless and stupid. Can't email - they don't accept queries like these via email or even their own internal messaging system anymore. Can't visit an office - the only branch office in Finland doesn't deal with private customers, only businesses.
I resorted to their Facebook page. Got the answer of A - check the page for how to activate this identification method on a new phone (already checked that multiple times, nothing pertainin to my situation there), B - call [insert number here] and use a code with 5 numbers that you picked yourself at some point as identification method instead (I already called that number, did not receive alternate identification methods as an option, and do not recall at any point ever picking a code for anything, so ?????), or C - visit an office in Sweden to get help (which I do not even know when that could possibly happen, if it's next year or the year after).
Gold star, guys. Such great possibilities to contact you. And no, I'm not mad at the customer service person who sent the answer, I'm just mad at the system they've set up where they are literally impossible to contact for anything if you do not have access to these specific things.
