On Switching (Hypnotically)
I’m using topping here to mean being the hypnotist and bottoming to mean being the subject. I remain mildly bumpuzzled at the use of these terms in a hypnotic context.
Here are the patterns I’ve noticed in my switching:
-I’m pretty fluid- if someone else wants to bottom or top I’ll usually switch to the opposite pretty easily even if it’s not my normal in the relationship
-I’m perfectly happy both in relationships where dynamics remain constant and where the switching is pretty fluid*. If I’m usually bottomy in a relationship, I may need more encouragement to top- it feels rude to assume toppiness without an actual stated request (broadly hinting doesn’t count).
-When I’m tired or feeling sad or depleted, I usually want to bottom. It’s restorative.
- When I feel depleted or sad, I tend to convince myself that I’m a terrible hypnotist and have to push myself to do it. I tend to internally criticize and get stuttery or easily discouraged if things don’t seem to be working quickly. However, if I can get, say, 5 minutes into a session without psyching myself out, topping is hugely energy-giving and more restorative than bottoming. I just have to ride out the first part.
- I have an internal balance of topping and bottoming that’s probably about at 50/50 preference. If I get too much bottoming without enough topping, I tend to get resentful- as though people don’t take me seriously as a hypnotist. I can also become paranoid that I’m so terrible that no one wants to play with me (and they are too kind to tell me directly). If I do too much topping without bottoming, I tend to feel depleted. My toppiness feels like it gets broken- like the words just won’t come in any sort of smooth way.**
-Topping often feels more vulnerable than bottoming- it takes a lot of trust that someone will follow where I lead. Topping a new person especially feels more vulnerable than bottoming for one. (If I were a different kind of subject I may experience this differently).
-I tell myself I “need” to be hypnotized more often than I tell myself I need to hypnotize someone. That’s also an easier itch to scratch with mp3s, self-hypnosis, etc. if no one is around/ available.*** Topping needs are not so easily met.
-Switchfighting is fun and light- I would like to get better at quickie inductions and tricksy language so I could be more skilled at these. I prefer mutual trance as a switchy activity but mutual trances are STRONG interpersonal magicks and best done with someone I’m OK with being attached to.
-ETA: I’m not quite sure how.if I’m perceived by the community as a whole- I’ve been fortunate enough to not have much creepiness directed towards me as a top or as a bottom. I wonder if that is because I don’t fall easily into a role (hot subby girl vs lady hypnotist unicorn), because my tumblr’s pretty non-explicit, because my tumblr’s not particularly popular, or because of unknown factor x.
I’m curious: What are other people’s switching patterns? How are they similar/different?
Tagging @tennfan2, @rightthewaydown, @banana-pie-gaige, @mr-prism, @mrs-prism, @hypnosophist, @banana-pie-gaige, @spiralturquoise, @dancercoder, @zanythoughts, @hypno-sandwich, @damnhypsters, @thehypnobunny, @bannableoffense, @meltinggoldanddippingthingsinit , @minddiver, @sex-obsessed-lesbian any other switches who I am leaving out
*However, I mildly prefer being fluid. I love the moments where things feel up in the air- like watching a volleyball that could be spiked either way.
*This is a lie-I hypnotized people for years before I had much experience at all as a subject.
**Need here is, of course, an over-exaggeration. “Would strongly like” is way more actually accurate.