the slight shift in the wind at MAMA. when the anxiety and disassociating thoughts causes him to drift from the crowd. the panic that needs to be calmed in the midst of wild storm.
tw: panic and anxiety attack. mild-disassociation.
Glaring at the stage and completely uncaring of the crowd around them, he barely prevents his soft hazel orbs from closing.
Despite popular believe, a lot of entertainers do not actually live for this moment. Being a part and attending awards shows eventually becomes tedious and a chore. Perhaps it's just his way of thinking yet after expanding their collections of trophies and awards from all over the globe, Laurent has begun to lose sight of his main purpose.
Understandably, the perfect place to have an existential crises is in the middle of the MAMA awards. One of the most extravagant concerts con awards ceremony, held at the end of every year for artists across Asia to demonstrate why their fandoms chose them as the best whatever it is they are. It goes both ways, of course, it's an ultimate concert for fans to see multiple performances from a variety of artists and bands alike.
The thoughts deviating from his self depicting mood that he could only hope that his "fearless" leader to notice emanating from Laurent that very moment. Honestly, the last thing he wanted was to get nagged and told off the moment they were out of public's watchful eye. Granted, he is very grateful for the unlimited amount of love, dedication, and support that everyone from every where has blessed them with- leading to the handful of awards previously mentioned. That's exactly it though, Laurent simply could not imagine what else is to come after this.
This is not the first time he felt this way. In fact, this would be the time when his sister would knock some senses into him by telling him that it's time to go back into acting. Afterall, that's where it all started for him. Be that as it may and despite the amount of times they have had this conversation, that he knew very well would lead to him trying to land a role in an upcoming drama or film, maybe even a stage play, one would think his meandering thoughts would calm the brewing storm. But it had the opposite effect. Because now, it made him desperate to hear her voice.
It made him restlessly shift in his seat. Warm orbs anxiously shift from one member to another. Palms sweating and his breathing shallows. Nope he refuses to allow his demons to eat him out in public. So Laurent tries his best to reach for the water bottle in front of him, taking a sip as he makes eye contact with his leader. Because fuck his worries from earlier. There's only a handful of people who could calm him down and Laurent isn't stupid enough to prevent from help. Not after everything his been through.
His movements would have been perceived as sharp and smooth when in reality it was all in an abrupt and jerking manner. Once Laurent found his way into the side of the band leader, he leans down and rest his head against the man for a brief moment, as though he was whispering something interesting to him. All the while, Laurent was simply counting his breathe and regaining his cool composure back.
The crowd around them swoons and acknowledges this as fan service. Yet again, another reminder of the invisible wall between the band and the rest of the world.
















