#sycodest won't stop

[baby-we-are-fire-proof]

Stunt Fatigue

I’m looking over my page and realizing it’s been ages since I posted ANYTHING. I think the Chernobyl stunt has been too much for me, and while I’ve been lurking and staying updated on my OT5, my Liam heart just hasn’t had the strength to create content throughout all this mess. And the fact that there are fans out there that will dissect the remotest wink from Harry to anyone that’s not Louis, but will just accept this disgusting bs narrative surrounding Liam drives me crazy.

 It’s so obvious none of them are “out free.” Even the ones with new management, or new record labels. Watching so-called Ziams slam Liam for these tiny pinches of shade thrown at Zayn is even more upsetting, because you guys should know who Liam is, and that everything we see from him right now is directed and approved by their demented overlords. So the next time you’re thinking about boycotting Liam, or Harry, or Niall (is there a jealous fuck out there that would boycott Niall? What is wrong with you? I don’t like slow hands either but the boy is sunshine incarnate), take a walk to the interwebs and google up modest management’s website. The second picture you see (after poor Nialler) is One Direction.

Still repped by modest. Still signed to Syco. And remember that this is only “hiatus” which means whatever they want it to mean. Which is probably this:

 One Direction will not be releasing any music or touring while Sony tries to push Harry Styles down your throats. In the meantime, expect the same stunt foolery you’ve come to expect from modest! management, as they’ve signed their souls over to us in blood. 

Since Louis already gave you “I knocked up a thottie at the club, but immediately started dating an actress because, hetero,“ our next trick will be Liam falls prey to the whole “sexy teacher wants a baby” storyline, because nothing sells hetero like an icky pedophilia-laced desperate woman scenario. It will be perfect to sell Liam’s new brand of teen pop. Meanwhile, Harry will write an album full of tired sexist tropes while promoting feminism, and wear a plethora of rainbows while reminding us all about him and Taylor Swift. Oh, and Niall’s gonna have brown hair now. It’s more manly.

So this is why I haven’t been posting. It’s all so gross. But at the same time, I love these boys so freaking much. I can’t quit them. And while I hate these disgusting narratives they are being forced to play out, I don’t believe them. And if I tuned out completely I would miss things like this:

Payne chain promo or not, I heart this with my entire soul. So eff you Simon & Co. you’re not going to ruin 1d for me.

[baby-we-are-fire-proof]

Critical Reading 101

I love 5/4 members of One Direction. And since solo gigs are what we’re getting right now, I’m happy to have them, and by them, I mean the songs, and the multitude of cheeky interviews and the instagram stories and the live performances. But let’s not forget that these boys have not left the stunt show, and probably never will. It’s the price we pay for the free entertainment. 

I love Louis. And I’m glad that he got his cover/solo interview time. But I’m surprised to see fans that are so critical of everything that comes out of these camps just spooning down the narrative being served up here, because it’s what they want to hear. 

I’m not arguing that Louis didn’t have moments of doubt, or struggle with self-esteem. I think most of them did. But to play Louis like the least popular member of One Direction...it’s like you’ve never spent ten minutes on tumblr. Liam, Niall, and Louis have all had moments when they seemed like the background. Moments, not the duration.

Because one of the things that has always set One Direction apart from the classic boybands of yore is that they never really broke down into that Justin Timberlake and the Pips dynamic (I’m sorry JC I had to make the example, old school fans know how important you were to NSYNC).

 I remember someone from The Wanted once complaining that it wasn’t fair because in One Direction the were all the cute one. Look at their singles past the first album and you’ll see each boy having a solo moment, probably because the fans demanded it. There was no Chris Kirkpatrick or Danny Wood or Howie Dorough in One Direction. I think Simon cast Louis and Niall into those roles, but they didn’t stay put. Not from the start. The interviewer paints this picture to support the story he wants to tell.

“And then there’s you.”

“And then there’s me.”

The interviewer fed him that line. 

And then they do a pull quote and stick it in the heading for emphasis:

“Niall is lovely, Zayn has the voice, Harry is cool, Liam gets the crowd going… then there’s me”

How do Niall’s personality traits put him above Louis in the band? Liam getting the crowd going? Harry being cool? What are you even talking about? To hear him tell it, they were a bunch of happy popular boys who relied on Zayn’s voice and stuck Louis in the back because he wasn’t popular enough, because... it’s nonsense. And I don’t think it’s what Louis really believes. 

They’re creating a narrative for underdog Louis because SYCO has decided it’s the best way to sell him. He’s the only 1D solo act they have left, and he isn’t projected to sell as well as Harry or Zayn, so they’ve decided to appeal to his massive fan base. That’s why Freddie & El barely made the radar in this particular interview. They’re pandering to their audience.

Just because they do this shit doesn’t mean you shouldn’t support Louis’ solo run, or that you cant get anything good out of these articles. Remember that infamous Attitude interview Liam did? Know what I pulled away from it? The fact that Sophia was on the way out. They were together at the time, but it was seeded plain as day (”she needs to go off and do what she wants to do”), and at the time I was happy (having no idea what evil lurked on the other side).

 Zayn recently did a bit of fan girl fluff an interview with The Evening Standard, and what I gained from that is that his dad Yaser was a stay at home dad. This was kind of a huge revelation because Yaser was all but written out of Zayn’s 1D narrative, and yet he was the one that was home everyday with he kids when Zayn left home for 1D. Really makes you think. 

And when I read this interview with Louis, I felt the genuine loss of his mother and best friend. That felt honest. And it felt special that he let us in on that. I also believed his desire to be seen as “a real entity and a person.” That was some insight into Louis.

So the idea here is to read critically. Because even if it’s a narrative you like, it’s always going to be something they want you to see. That’s the nature of this beast we’re in. But that old saying about the baby and the bathwater applies here. You can get incredible insight through some of these interviews. But usually it’s not what the author is trying to push. 

Question everything.

Question this post. 

To paraphrase Walt Whitman: Reexamine all you have been told... dismiss whatever insults your soul. 

[baby-we-are-fire-proof]

Guys, it's been established that they get tattoos to promote the narrative. Zayn has done it, Liam has done it, now Louis has done it. Why they do it, what they mean to them, and what they get out of it is a mystery to us. But don't let the E freak you out. It was probably a bargaining chip for putting a thinly veiled pride anthem on his album or something. At least it wasn't her evil eyeball.

[baby-we-are-fire-proof]

I think everyone dislikes Cheryl and/or is really uncomfortable with the Chiam dynamic. But Liam has always talked about Bear in a very loving manner while telling cute stories and anecdotes. This is in great contrast to Louis, who got uncomfortable whenever Freddie was mentioned and couldn't tell a normal story to save his life. Now, we either think that Liam is playing along so well to the point that he has authentic sounding details about smallest of things or he is a father.

I’ve run circles trying to figure out what I think is the truth about Bear. I don’t believe in any way that Liam is in a romantic relationship with Cheryl. That shit was obviously fake from the start, and that woman has as many gay rumors as Liam has, so I think we’ve got a lavender scenario here. Is Liam really the biological father of Bear? Maybe. Ask me again when we’ve seen pictures.

The whole thing is so obviously planned out though. Tabloid rumors of her pregnancy began before she would have even been pregnant in this scenario. Her disappearing and reappearing bump was played for attention, the seemingly official debut (Christmas charity walk) and then weeks without a confirmation was just weird. Their desire to maintain privacy is pushed through the press, yet he talks about the baby at length in every interview.

Liam’s dad stories are obviously so much better than Louis’. But they weren’t always this good; he’s gotten better as the press junkets continue. He likes telling stories that get a good reaction; he lives for the applause. I’m not a parent, but I’ve seen many of them question the legitimacy of Liam’s stories matching up to a person with an actual baby. I don’t know about that, but I do know that he hasn’t been able to spend that much time with Bear because apparently they planned to have a baby just as Liam’s promo was ramping up to drop his first solo single ever.

Is the official line that Bear was a happy accident? Because Cheryl, 33, twice divorced and telling interviewers she’d love to be a mom one day soon doesn’t seem like someone who accidentally got pregnant. And yet why would Liam plan a baby to coincide with his first ever solo launch at the age of 23? It doesn’t add up unless it’s some kind of behind the scenes contract.

I could write a book about how I think these negotiations came about, and maybe I’d be right, maybe not. Did he donate willingly to his lesbian friend, or was he blackmailed into this shit by Simon? I wish I could believe that there was some “end of babygate 2.0” storyline in the works, involving Chernobyl’s ex husband and paternity tests, but I don’t. Whatever his reasons, Liam has taken this on, and I think he’s always gonna be “Bear’s dad.”

But there is no way I’ll ever believe it’s not part of the stunt show.