#sydney bean

[sydthetiel]

Update:

https://linktr.ee/helpsyd 

If you can donate, please consider doing so. If you can’t, please don’t, but please share this instead! Even $1 helps. If this post reached 10,000 people, and each person donated $1, there might be some hope of long-term survival. If this post reached 1,000 people, and each person donated $1, we could get Syd the care she needs.

Syd’s life: It’s an older video, but not much has changed, so posting it again to remind of what’s been going on.

We had some wonderful donations for Christmas, which got Syd to a specialist on New Years Eve. The current goal is to treat this as chlamydia, and administer a 6 week course of doxycycline (antibiotic) injections. However, her more recent health concerns were reproductive in nature, and they’ve given her a dose of Lupron, a hormone blocker.

This first visit came to nearly $300, and each future appointment will be nearly $200. The specialist still also wants to run more diagnostics, if her condition doesn’t clear up with these treatments.

So I could really use more donations to ensure I can get her this full course of treatments.

Dad’s life: However, I’ve also received news that my mom, who has been alternating between nursing home and hospital for the past two years, only has 35 days left of short term nursing stay coverage. That means once she goes from the hospital to a new nursing home (since the last one left her in worse conditions, to the extent that her bed sores required surgery just after Christmas) she has 35 days to recover and come home, or will be considered long term. Long term coverage means they will take her SSDI income, which is what we use to pay the bills. My SSI check is too small for that, so it goes to monthly expenses. The taxes still haven’t been paid, and that’s nearly $6,000. She was supposed to go to a nursing home today, but I got a call that she needs yet another blood transfusion today. It doesn’t appear that anyone is looking into why. They write it off as anemia. Great, fantastic. She’s had a history of anemia, but she’s never needed transfusions before. Now, she’s had three in the past month. WHY?!

I have no hope that she won’t be long term, at this point. So I have 35 days to figure out how I can swing over $1,200/month expenses on $900 a month. I pretty much can’t find any hope in affording bills, or taxes. There is nowhere else I can go. This is our family’s home. It was passed down from my grandparents. With my income, there isn’t anywhere in the entire country I could afford to live.

I am truly at such a loss on what to do anymore. I’m drowning in all of this. I have my own health issues that doctors don’t take seriously. I only just got a lead on what doctor to see for my pain and fatigue 3 days ago, and so far haven’t been able to secure an appointment.

I’m afraid that over the next few months, I’ll be living out of my van with Syd. That’s not sustainable for either of us, but certainly not for a sick bird, whose treatment I won’t be able to continue without help.

I feel hopeless.

[disaster-magnet]

My cat likes to cuddle by climbing up onto shoulders and pretending to be a scarf

[catsandthehound]

Hi there!

[sydthetiel]

Update Time!

I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but some serious burdens/guilt have been lifted.

Family friend came again today, brought me another grocery order, which has a new can opener (this one better fucking work) and some more cold foods to last the week and stuff. Eggs, salad, etc. I can feel a little better about what I'm putting into my body besides canned crap, without having to spend hours to make it.

She helped me get a huge chunk done of what all those aides were supposed to do with me. We went through foods and organized, cleaned my "ration rack" (which is, as it sounds, a rack which holds the rations for days I can't get out of bed. Chips, crackers, croissants, poptarts, cookies, etc. All the snackies, and some extra drinks, so I no longer have to sleep with all of them.) Ahhh wonderful. It's also out of my path now for trying to get to my office where Syd is currently located. No more squeezing and side stepping. Mentally, that's a load off. Clutter and mess trigger my OCD bad enough to hit me real hard with depression and hopelessness. It's the biggest reason why hoarder Rex is so bad for me.

Syd's new water bowl came. As expected, it was too big to fit in such a tiny hospital cage. It was a two person job to take the top off and install it, and it takes up so very much of the cage. I held Syd, while friend put the top of the cage back on. The sight was so fucking depressing. Friend says to me "I'm gonna buy her a bigger cage." And of course, cages are expensive, so I told her that, and explained this one is so small because it's literally all I could afford, and I feel like the worst dad ever for it. And of course, at this point, we're both crying, because my baby girl deserves better than a tiny fucking cramped piece of shit where she can't even spread her fucking wings, but it's impossible to bring her home cage into my office. It ain't gettin' up the stairs, or through the doorways. Dear fucking gods, no. Friend insists, "We're gonna order a cage today, on your phone, before we leave." And she did. It'll be here in roughly a week. It should (better) be big enough, and it's quite lovely. It has a stand, so I can store her food and all that, and will make an exceptional hospital cage, where Bean can flap and be happy and well cared for. I am in fucking tears. Her gofundme is still up, for vet stuff, but this is fucking HUGE for us! She also said she'll take us to the vet for another Lupron injection, since Syd's horny again, and said she'd pay for the shot!! <333

Between sobbing about trying to figure out how to pay for van repairs, a new hot water heater, and a new furnace, and a shut off notice for the electric because once again Rex didn't pay it, not having to worry about shelling out an extra $100 or so on a hormone injection is just... such a fucking weight lifted.

On top of that, Daddy's getting some needs met, too now! She assembled my shoe rack! No more bending or tripping over all my shoes! They're right there! Aaaand I finally have my new massager. It's been sitting in a fucking filthy box for like two years, and she helped me get it clean, so now I have that. As soon as I got situated in bed tonight, I tried it out. The pleasure screams I felt as it massaged the knots out of my agonizing back and shoulders is just... oh gods. Probably sounded like a whole ass orgy up in here. Actual goddamn pain relief! PAIN RELIEF!!!!!!

I ate twice today, and finally had some decent hydration, too. Huge boost. I no longer detest the idea of my chicken and gravy tray. Meal plan for tomorrow!

Sunday, she's coming back, and we're gonna tackle some more stuff. I can't fucking wait. I mean, I would really love a weekend with my girlfriend, and some rest, but also, just... a clean environment is so fucking good for my mental health. And it makes me happy that they'll take all the outdated foods I won't eat, so I don't have to feel like a douchebag for wasting it and throwing it out. They're happy to eat it, and I feel like I can give something back for all the help, while also clearing out all the space.

We got a game plan for downstairs, and will start making dents in that.

But honestly... This huge chunk done today is... the kind of support I needed to feel like I might actually survive? I mean... it's still grim. The debts, the bills, the taxes not being paid. The gofundme is still just as fucking urgent as ever in order to not go homeless. In order to get heat and hot water and transportation back. But I don't feel quite as stranded and alone.

We most definitely still need like $2,000 for the van repairs, and $3,000 for the water heater and furnace, and uh... like $6,000 for the backed taxes and another $5,000 for this year's taxes.

But I don't have to cry about not being able to give Syd a better cage, or Lupron, and I have some better access for my own self care. Pain relief is so wonderful. Especially when healthcare providers are failing me so miserably.

Gofund.me ($5 min donation according to their standards) Other options (as much or as little as you can spare <3): Ven.mo: @rroche90 Pay.pal: Rory Roche (Can't miss my portrait of Dean Winchester!)

[sydthetiel]

Syd Update 2/17/23:

Syd’s had two lupron injections up to date, and just completed her sixth doxy injection today! Specialist says that’s it, until a follow-up and bloodwork in a month. She’s definitely feeling better. She’s eating normal again, and throwing tantrums when Daddy doesn’t share his food. She whines when she wants to eat but Daddy hasn’t sat down yet, because she waits for Daddy to sit down before she’ll eat. So, I think it’s safe to say she’s still missing our Tazzy boy. I’m her man now, and she’s a social eater like me.

I definitely still need help paying off my care credit, and I’ve been dealing with a whole bunch of other misfortunes. Taxes still haven’t been paid and they’re about $5,000. I just had to replace two tires on my van, plus an oil change and inspection, bringing the total to almost $500. With no public transit where I live, neither of us can survive without a functioning vehicle.

Now that I don’t have to worry about her health for a month, maybe I can focus on my own. I haven’t been doing good at all, but haven’t had time or energy to take care of my own health by time I took care of all my other responsibilities and Syd’s health. My birthday just passed, and I didn’t even get to celebrate at all. When I finally had time to make plans to do so, we ran out of fuel, because my mom isn’t doing her part in paying for bills, costing me more in emergencies (had a shut off notice on electric last month because she didn’t pay, after letting me believe she did. She hadn’t paid since October, and blamed me for why our bill is so high. Honey, those are late fees, not me running the bill high. That’s you, not me.) So I did my best to keep us warm while we waited for another emergency fill up. We have our heat back now.

linktr.ee/helpsyd 

Thank you again, to everyone who’s shared our posts, interacted with our tiktok, donated, or prayed for my girlie. She’s on the mend, and we couldn’t have done this without you. We love you all <3 Please keep doing what you’re doing. It gives me a little hope to hold onto while I struggle to find any in my situation.

throwback to when they were little beebs (roughly 4-5 months old. Tazzy’s the one chewing the bars.)

[sydthetiel]

Syd is breathing heavier than before. I'm really hoping it's just because the air quality has been shit. I can't afford to bring her to the vet. While I appreciate the donations we did get, that was only enough for visits she already had, without any extra testing.

I'm terrified I'm gonna lose her. It's almost a year since we lost Taz and I can't cope. If i lose my girl too, I may as well throw in the towel myself. She's all I have left in my physical world. I'm battling for my own health. I'm tired. I'm tired of begging, of not catching a break. I cry like 20x a day.

I'm lost. IDK what to do anymore.

[catsandthehound]

Sydney pretzel!

[catsandthehound]