half meme half serious playlist from my chaotic brain
The X Files Theme (x) // Once Bitten Twice Shy - Great White (x) // No Plan - Hozier (x) // Tom Sawyer - Rush (x) // When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin (x) // Sabotage - Beastie Boys (x) // Soul Free - George Michael (x) // &Run - Sir Sly (x) // Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult (x) // Twilight Zone - Golden Earring (x) // Another One Bites the Dust - Queen (x) // For Whom The Bells Tolls - Metallica (x)
Are you afraid of bad weather? What do you consider bad weather?
"Not usually, can’t say I’m not kind of afraid of shark-filled tornadoes but just regular bad weather I’ve not been afraid of since I was a little kid. You know, thunderstorms and stuff. I’m not going to lie and say that sharknadoes don’t freak me out, though because they do.”
Would you move away from Perfection Valley if you had the option?
"Probably, me and my wife are pretty set up here, we’ve been here the entire we’ve been married, so I suppose there’s a lot of nostalgia there but at the end of the day we have three kids still in school and I want them to be able to live their life, well.. somewhere safe.”
Is this the craziest weather you’ve ever seen? If not, why not?
“Yes, this is definitely the craziest weather I’ve ever seen.”
Are you afraid of sharks?
"Not theoretically but when they’re in this format, as in angry and in tornadoes, yeah I probably am a bit. Generally though, they’re only dangerous in extreme circumstances, not that I’d want to go up to one and give it a hug.”
Would you go out and go storm chasing?
“Do I look like I’m crazy? Of course not!”
Do you think the situation could get worse somehow?
“Oh yeah, I reckon it could, I don’t know or want to think about how but yes I imagine this whole thing could get a lot worse. A whole lot worse.”
Perfection Valley Public Radio: Sharks! (YouTube Playlist)
“Today's top story comes to you despite our Sheriff's Department attempting to suppress it for unknown reasons. It appears our small town is being inundated with what can only be described as shark-filled tornadoes, or as my producer has suggested, "sharknadoes". We actually have photo evidence of it, and looking at it now, believe you me, it's quite shocking. We advise you attempt to seek shelter in your homes, preferably in your basements or bunkers if you have them until this calamity passes. Again, this is an urgent warning to seek shelter until the weather passes. We wish you the best of luck, stay safe out there.”
(I did a few in-character introductions to the songs and announcements under the cut to give a feel for the show, with excerpts of the radio show. The real show would obviously involve a lot more talking and theorising about conspiracies. I’ve also cut out a lot of what would just be repeating the message to take shelter.)
“Our first song today was requested by the lovely Brenda (@brendasangulalik), it’s a good pick, a personal favourite of mine..”
Hotel California Eagles
“Next up we have a request from Isiah that adds a little bit of insult to injury given the current climate —— to those who’ve just turned in our top story of today is that our town is being inundated with shark-filled tornadoes, our urgent advice is to seek shelter until an all-clear can be given —— but coming up next is a classic by REM..”
It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) REM
“Before requesting our next song, Margery Clarke would like us to remind all of you that her bake sale fundraiser on Sunday for our local school will be going ahead, provided that the current weather situation subsides. Next up is..”
Danger! High Voltage Electric Six
“Our next song was requested by Charlie (@charlietorres), a song I’m sure can relate to right now all around. Charlie gets it, they have an open mind. I hope to hear something from them about or discussion of the day later on. Our next song will be followed by another news segment, but for now we have..”
American Idiot Green Day
"Well that was certainly a lot for us to get through wasn’t it? Assuming we’re all heading to or currently sheltering somewhere we feel safe. We’ll be taking song requests and discussions of our discussion of the day ‘Crop Circles: is it aliens or people with a lot of time on their hands?’, please call in to let us know. The next song is a request by, my pabbi, Egill, who assures me this song has a ‘a more positive ending than last time’. I’m worried, but enjoy..”
The Elf-Knight Steeleye Span
“Well, Rowina that was certainly an interesting take on the matter, and it’s sure to have us all checking our bread bins —— should we have them —— before we go to bed in future, with a wonderful choice of song too, it’s Blondie..”
Heart Of Glass Blondie
"Thanks for your input Eddie (@eddietawhai), that certainly was an interesting perspective —— I think we all wish we had that much time on our hands —— but alas, this show doesn’t host itself. As promised, for Dorian, your favourite song..”
The Chain Fleetwood Mac
“I’m being told to remind parents that, due to severe weather conditions that schools in the area are closed. Parents are advised to keep their children inside to avoid the current severe weather conditions, which is warm temperatures and sharknadoes. Next up is a song requested by Blair (@blairsacevedo), we hope you enjoy it, Blair..”
I Wanna Be Adored The Stone Roses
“That was a lot of ideas coming very quickly Trueman, but we’re loving your energy so keep those calls coming. If we’re going to be invaded by aliens, which I would argue is quite likely to be sooner or later, it would indeed be interesting to see what would happen if it were sooner, as alien invaders would also have to deal with our current influx of deadly shark-filled tornadoes. However this assumes the government and the aliens are not, in fact, teaming up to conduct this experiment. Anyway, as requested, it’s Breaking the Law..”
Breaking the Law Judas Preist
"You certainly make some compelling arguments, Ariel, though I don’t know what would happen if we had to deal with the weather we’re dealing with right now as well as the weather in your request..”
Purple Rain Prince
“What a call to end on, Saffron, some fantastic ideas there. That’s it for our discussion of the day, tune in tomorrow for something else to ponder, but today’s discussion has certainly given us a lot to think about —— and plenty of bread bins to search —— thanks for your call, Saffron and here’s your song..”
Don't Look Back In Anger Oasis
“Our next request is by Benji (@benjaminandrewssyfy), a very relevant message for our current weather situation, which is —— if you’re just tuning in —— warm temperatures as well as frequent and deadly sharknadoes. Residents near Walter Chang’s Market are advised to attempt to seek any shelter they can as there has been a sighting nearby. Please keep safe out there. For now we have take shelter, friends with..”
Take Shelter Years & Years
“Thank you, Gladys, that sounds like a fantastic idea for Margery Clarke's bake sale fundraiser on Sunday. I’ll be sure to try some of your tiramisu on Sunday should the government see fit to end this horrifying weather experiment by then. I hope you enjoy your song..”
Summer Wine Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood
“Sounds Larkin’s got his bunker all decked out, we envy you, buddy, I like to think my own shelter has a very homey vibe, it’s of course designed for safety first but you can’t underestimate that feeling of warmth. I’m sure you’d usually have people lining up the streets to join you, however I certainly wouldn’t recommend that in this weather. Anyway, up next Larkin’s requested..”
I Can't Decide Scissor Sisters (*would be censored)
“Thanks, Vidya, for your kind words of optimism and encouragement, I’m sure we can all use them even if it’s hard to take heed of them. Keeping up with those positive thoughts she’s asked for MIKA with..”
Relax, Take It Easy MIKA
"Next up we have a song request from Bobbie about a place whose name reminds me of our lovely —— if currently shark-infested —— little town. First, though, is an important warning for anyone near the Desert Inn to make sure they have shelter as soon as possible as Tanner has warned that a wobbegong whirlwind is heading that way, keep yourselves our of harm’s way, folks..”
Pleasant Valley Sunday The Monkees
"Next up Marina’s requested a favourite of mine, a fitting song for our strange little town. This next song will be followed by a repeat our local news segment. Of course, our top story is still the bizarre shark-infested tornadoes that are surrounding and terrorising our town. But next up is ELO with..”
Strange Magic Electric Light Orchestra
“Now that’s over I can’t remind everyone enough to keep as sheltered as possible until the government sees fit to end this experiment. Whether that’s inside your homes or one of our local businesses. Stay safe out there. Next up, it’s on the nose, it’s ‘The End of the World’..”
Are you afraid of bad weather? What do you consider bad weather?
Uh, I wouldn’t say that I am? I mean, I find myself more bothered by it than anything since it sometimes gets in the way of plans and other ideas of mine. So yeah, bad weather is generally when you have to cancel plans and hide inside.
Would you move away from Perfection Valley if you had the option?
Well, I sort of just moved and I don’t know? Like, these conditions aren’t generally the best in terms of raising a child at the moment but I also kind of dig this small-town vibe we got going! It seems I have a stable job at that and a lovely boss who is more than patient with my overall screw-ups. My option would be to stay, but when I have ever been allowed a say on such matters.
Is this the craziest weather you’ve ever seen? If not, why not?
Canada is famous for its harsh winters, but Montréal tends to be on the calmer side of things -- sort of this middle ground -- so yeah. Definitely.
Are you afraid of sharks?
No, I’m not. Never really worried about ever seeing a shark at that.
Do you have plans to hunker down somewhere?
Currently bunking with Audrey and Hayley at the Saloon! Better to stick together than to take chances apart. She has more experience with rough weather conditions, even if no one can prepare for... well... yeah.
What are your top three choices of weapons against the Sharks and why?
I have... never used anything that could probably be useful against aggressive sharks. Like what would you use? A chainsaw? A gun? An Axe? Jesus! ... would he count as a weapon?
What would your catchphrase be?
“You are grounded!”
How many times are you out in public and have people come up and complain about or ask you questions about the weather?
People generally don’t walk up to me just to complain, however, I have met a few during work who think it’s fine to waste my time ranting about the weather before they give me their order. Always the awful tippers at that! I’m a waiter, not your bloody therapist mate.
Would you go out and go storm chasing?
Oh! If you had asked me this question before I got Hayley, I would probably have answered yes because it seems quite amazing? However, younger me was reckless and inconsiderate of his surroundings and I would not have survived... so current answer is no.
Do you think the situation could get worse somehow?
