this is going to be a weird question, but do you know of any system oriented activities? like, things alters can do together? or do you know any worksheets, or any ways to make the system want to. like. get along? a lot of the system doesn't interact with eachother, and like, i don't want to force them into stuff they don't want to, but i feel like it'd be beneficial to do something fun together, because, long story short, we don't know eachother very well and there isn't much trust between us. sorry for the rambling!
hey, this is a really great question. let’s see if any of our tips could work for y’all…
we have this post which is basically an icebreaker worksheet made by ralsei. it’s designed to help alters and headmates get to know each other better. you’re welcome to copy it into your notes, print off copies for your alters to complete, or do whatever you wish with it to encourage your alters to fill it out.
you could also edit or adjust the worksheet to include more applicable questions for your system. or create your own list of interview questions and leave them in an easily accessible place so different alters can answer them as they like.
y’all also might enjoy answering ask games to get to know each other. note you don’t have to get asks in order to answer the questions, and you don’t have to post your answers, either. you can definitely just write your answers in a document or note just for your system! here are some inclusive ask game posts:
x (<- tw: syscourse mention) x x x
y’all can try to find common interests, and if any are revealed through doing interviews/completing ask games/general communication, you can try to do things together. we’re not sure how capable your system is of cofronting, but if some alters in your system are able to cofront together, y’all can start trying to do activities together.
our system loves playing videogames together. we either work together to play the game, or one of us plays while the others watch. you can also do stimulating “solo” play, like playing pretend, drawing/coloring, blowing bubbles, or building with blocks and legos. cofronting can allow other alters to work together during play and can help build teamwork and communication. (you don’t need to be a child in order to benefit from play! kids and adults alike can improve inner relationships through playtime.)
if your system has an inner world, y’all can try visualizing something fun to do, or create an adventure for you to go on together. if you’re new to thinking about inner worlds/headspaces, this post from dis-sos has some info on building a headspace and the importance of inside safe spaces for folks with dissociative disorders (we’re assuming y’all have one since you said “alters”). remember that you don’t have to be traumatized in order to benefit from a headspace - it may help y’all get on the same page and learn to cohabit your mind together.
once y’all know a little more about each other, a great way to bond is through doing nice things for each other. so doing a chore that a different alter normally does, making a food that you know a particular alter is fond of, accumulating objects that remind you of each other, making playlists for each other, and simply thinking kind thoughts towards each other may help y’all foster stronger bonds and grow closer as a result. some alters may come forward with their own ideas of group activities once they feel a bit more at ease within the system.
remember patience is so important when it comes to working with alters and forging bonds and connections. it may take some time before your alters start listening to you or show any interest in getting to know each other. they may be skittish, slow to trust, or quick to anger. they may struggle to communicate at all at first. all these things are natural for systems - learning to trust and communicate is a skill just like any other, and new skills take time to master. don’t be discouraged if it takes a while before your alters start to come around!
followers, feel free to share the ways in which your system bonds and what sort of fun activities y’all do together.
we hope this helps! best of luck with getting to know your system :)
🐢 kip and 💫 parker
