#building communication

[multiplicity-positivity]

Do you have resources for ppl with severe aphantasia to make a headspace/communicate when we have no internal voice? I have P-DID we're pretty sure because I've basically always been stuck in front since I've formed, but we've never had internal communication and sometimes other altera front or like kinda feels like they "join" or "merge" with me a bit and I really want to see if it's possible to do that

So sorry, but we don’t have many resources or advice on creating a headspace with aphantasia. We like to recommend the blog @aphantasicheadspace for folks with aphantasia who are looking for headspace-building tips, guides, and experiences.

As far as communication goes, though, it may be useful for y’all to attempt external communication as much as possible. We’ve touched on this in our post on establishing contact with headmates (<- hyperlink). For our system at least, we had to communicate externally a lot in order to help build and bolster internal communication. We still have parts who communicate externally, because that’s their only way of being heard and acknowledged as we’re still seriously struggling with dissociative barriers.

Even though you haven’t been able to successfully communicate internally, it may be good to just keep trying every once in a while. Definitely don’t stress or overwhelm yourself/ves, but if you have the energy for it, reaching out to your alters occasionally could be really beneficial for your system. You’re still attempting to make those connections and practicing a new skill, even if you don’t hear back from anyone else! And just because you don’t hear or feel other alters doesn’t necessarily mean that they can’t hear/feel you. So sending positive vibes or emotions their way (it doesn’t have to be images or complete thoughts!) could really help communication improve overall.

We hope that internal communication will come to y’all with time. Remember that all sorts of expression are valid forms of communication - you don’t need to have an internal voice or an active imagination in order to have a method of communication that works for your system. We’re wishing you all the very best with figuring this out!

[multiplicity-positivity]

ok so we're the sys from this ( https://www.tumblr.com/multiplicity-positivity/750380505657147392/h3y-so-l1k3-do-you-guys-t4k3-up-r3qu3sts-for?source=share )

do you think we could get some advice on how to boost connection to the headspace and/or communication? we're a proxy sys but we're very like. strung-out, i guess. no worries if not, of course

Hey, so we’ll do our best to answer both of these questions and talk about boosting connection to your system’s headspace, and boosting communication between system members.

When it comes to connecting with your headspace, we’d like to share a couple links that might help -

Our general post on headspaces, what they are, and how to build/maintain one (with some links to further reading):

All About Headspaces!

We thought it would be a good idea to write a post on headspaces (or inner worlds) as we understand them. This post will contain information

And this post by @/humanheartharmonia with some advice from their own experience regarding headspaces:

Note: This guide is geared toward systems who already have a headspace and wish to work through difficulty with accessing it. I do not have

We think this post ^ has some really handy and useful tips to help headmates connect with their headspace and visualize themselves within their headspace a bit better.

And as for boosting communication between system members… our best advice boils down to time, patience, practice, and self care.

Time: Most systems aren’t going to have amazing communication after just a few weeks of getting to know each other. We believe that for almost any system communication can improve, but it’s going to take time to get there. It could take anywhere from a few months to a few decades to get to a point where you can communicate with your headmates in the ways that you want to. So patience is key here.

Patience: Know that you might not be able to communicate perfectly with your headmates at first, and that’s okay. Don’t punish yourself or your system or talk down on anyone if y’all are getting frustrated, if it’s been a while since you’ve heard from each other, or if you’re feeling exhausted from spending too much time focusing on communication. Take breaks. Take deep breaths. Take things one day at a time. You’ll get there one day - don’t give up!

Practice: Try talking and listening to your headmates whenever you have the energy and cognitive bandwidth for it. Think about them, ask them how they’re doing, and just try to chat with them whenever you can. If things are hazy, foggy, or unclear, that’s okay. If you’re able to, we encourage you to just keep trying even when it’s difficult. Not every interaction between headmates will be distinct and crystal clear. Sometimes things get muddled or different headmates seem distant, and that’s okay. But the more your practice today, the easier it will be tomorrow. Practicing communication every day can help y’all build a solid foundation so that, say, one or two years from now, y’all may find that you’re in a much better place and communication comes much more naturally.

Self care: In our own system, communication becomes much more difficult when we are struggling to meet our own physical, mental, and emotional needs. So doing our best to look after our mind and body can really make a huge difference in the quality of our communication. We’ll go ahead and link our self care post here, in case y’all may find yourselves in a similar situation.

Hello! How are you doing today? Have you taken care of yourself/your system lately? We’d like to ask you some questions to help you check in

This is probably as much as I’m going to be able to say here for now. We could go on and on about internal communication, how to build on it, potential speed bumps or risks, and how it may look differently for different systems. Please don’t be too discouraged if y’all are still struggling with communication after a few weeks of daily practice - remember that communication is a skill just like any other, and it will take time to master.

So sorry if this response is rambly or muddled - we’re not feeling well today. But I do hope this helps you. Good luck with building communication and gaining a better understanding of your headspace in the future.

[multiplicity-positivity]

https://www.tumblr.com/multiplicity-positivity/758429991400767488/hi-there-i-recently-discovered-plurality-as-a (<- same anon, might claim a tag just for simplicity's sake)

so! ive been questioning since that, and im 80% sure im(we?) a sys, and i was wondering if yall have any tips for communication w/ headmates?

-💊

Hi! Congratulations on learning more about yourselves and discovering your potential plurality! We actually have written a post in the past with some tips for establishing contact/communication with headmates. Here it is:

Hello everyone! Not sure if we’ve ever made a post like this before, but I wanted to put together a post with tips on establishing contact w

We hope this will be helpful for you! Best of luck to you all as you continue to grow and learn more about each other. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help y’all in the future!

[multiplicity-positivity]

how do you fix bad communication? we're polyfragmented and we have bad communication and i think that's why we split a lot, making redundant alters. this is my first time fronting but i don't want to be lost in the ether when i inevitably step out. i don't know what else to do.

Hello. Many systems are able to effectively improve communication with time, patience, and practice. If you are just beginning to make connections and communicate with the alters in your system, perhaps our post on establishing contact with headmates may be of some use to you.

Hello everyone! Not sure if we’ve ever made a post like this before, but I wanted to put together a post with tips on establishing contact w

If you want to be remembered by others after you leave the front, we recommend to try leaving reminders for you other alters to discover that can help show them you exist and get them thinking about you. This could be in the form of a note, letter, art piece, social media post, Simply Plural or Plural Kit entry, or some other thing that will be tangible, visible, and accessible to other system members. This is how most of our parts were first discovered by our host. Before we could successfully reach out internally, we were communicating externally to the best of our abilities.

Building effective communication does take a lot of time and practice. If you are ever able to be in contact with another alter, even if your contact is quite brief, it’s worth taking that chance to try and engage with them in order to help practice and reinforce communication. Every little bit helps. And, our system has found, that not all parts have to be on the same page in order for communication overall to improve. As more and more alters try to come forward and be in touch with each other, in general it has gotten easier for others to do the same. It may be scary or challenging being among the first alters to start making that change, it is necessary for someone to take the plunge and start communicating first.

We have found that therapy has been an essential tool for us in building our communication. Our therapist acts as an interpreter, a messenger, a mediator, and a lifeguard. He has been able to help us reach the level of communication we enjoy today. Not that it did not take a large amount of hard work on our end, but the task was made easier thanks to having a therapist who understands dissociation and helps most of our parts feel safe and ready to talk/listen. If you have access to a good therapist, don’t underestimate their abilities in helping communication drastically improve for your whole system. For many of us who struggle with complex dissociative disorders and histories of repeated trauma, having a good therapist can make a big difference when it comes to healing and improving effective communication.

I do wish that this response will prove beneficial for you. Our apologies if it doesn’t. Building proper communication can be difficult for any system, but it is certainly a worthy endeavor. We are wishing you the best in walking this path.

[multiplicity-positivity]

this is going to be a weird question, but do you know of any system oriented activities? like, things alters can do together? or do you know any worksheets, or any ways to make the system want to. like. get along? a lot of the system doesn't interact with eachother, and like, i don't want to force them into stuff they don't want to, but i feel like it'd be beneficial to do something fun together, because, long story short, we don't know eachother very well and there isn't much trust between us. sorry for the rambling!

hey, this is a really great question. let’s see if any of our tips could work for y’all…

we have this post which is basically an icebreaker worksheet made by ralsei. it’s designed to help alters and headmates get to know each other better. you’re welcome to copy it into your notes, print off copies for your alters to complete, or do whatever you wish with it to encourage your alters to fill it out.

you could also edit or adjust the worksheet to include more applicable questions for your system. or create your own list of interview questions and leave them in an easily accessible place so different alters can answer them as they like.

y’all also might enjoy answering ask games to get to know each other. note you don’t have to get asks in order to answer the questions, and you don’t have to post your answers, either. you can definitely just write your answers in a document or note just for your system! here are some inclusive ask game posts:

x (<- tw: syscourse mention) x x x

y’all can try to find common interests, and if any are revealed through doing interviews/completing ask games/general communication, you can try to do things together. we’re not sure how capable your system is of cofronting, but if some alters in your system are able to cofront together, y’all can start trying to do activities together.

our system loves playing videogames together. we either work together to play the game, or one of us plays while the others watch. you can also do stimulating “solo” play, like playing pretend, drawing/coloring, blowing bubbles, or building with blocks and legos. cofronting can allow other alters to work together during play and can help build teamwork and communication. (you don’t need to be a child in order to benefit from play! kids and adults alike can improve inner relationships through playtime.)

if your system has an inner world, y’all can try visualizing something fun to do, or create an adventure for you to go on together. if you’re new to thinking about inner worlds/headspaces, this post from dis-sos has some info on building a headspace and the importance of inside safe spaces for folks with dissociative disorders (we’re assuming y’all have one since you said “alters”). remember that you don’t have to be traumatized in order to benefit from a headspace - it may help y’all get on the same page and learn to cohabit your mind together.

once y’all know a little more about each other, a great way to bond is through doing nice things for each other. so doing a chore that a different alter normally does, making a food that you know a particular alter is fond of, accumulating objects that remind you of each other, making playlists for each other, and simply thinking kind thoughts towards each other may help y’all foster stronger bonds and grow closer as a result. some alters may come forward with their own ideas of group activities once they feel a bit more at ease within the system.

remember patience is so important when it comes to working with alters and forging bonds and connections. it may take some time before your alters start listening to you or show any interest in getting to know each other. they may be skittish, slow to trust, or quick to anger. they may struggle to communicate at all at first. all these things are natural for systems - learning to trust and communicate is a skill just like any other, and new skills take time to master. don’t be discouraged if it takes a while before your alters start to come around!

followers, feel free to share the ways in which your system bonds and what sort of fun activities y’all do together.

we hope this helps! best of luck with getting to know your system :)

🐢 kip and 💫 parker

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi so recently someone re-emerged from our mass-fusion a lil bit and ive been communicating with her through pendulums, and we just wanna know if you have any advice regarding that? like, how to communicate better or more efficiently (cause, even prior to fusion, our communication wasnt the best- mainly just thought projection and no innerworld- but ive been told we do have one that i just cant get to so yk) like just anything regarding how to make the whole thing easier or if theres an alternative methods or something

thanks -🐢♠ (now 🤡♠)

Hi! We’ve compiled our advice for building and improving communication in our post on establishing contact with headmates:

Hello everyone! Not sure if we’ve ever made a post like this before, but I wanted to put together a post with tips on establishing contact w

If y’all are really struggling with internal communication, focusing on external communication (writing letters/notes, journalling, leaving messages on white boards, texting or using a private Discord server, etc.) might be a good way to start establishing some concrete connections! Communicating externally may be slow going, as it requires other headmates to front or at least be co-conscious in order to express themselves, but having a solid foundation of external communication really could help boost internal communication in the future. At least, that’s how it’s worked in our system!

And remember that internally, communication can look really different and come in all sorts of different ways! It doesn’t have to be just fully-formed thoughts as dialogue - headmates can use emotions, images, memories, vibes, and all sorts of things in order to convey messages to each other. So if you’re finding that you’re able to communicate, but it doesn’t look like what may be considered “normal” or “traditional,” that’s okay!

We don’t have any experience with communicating through pendulums, so we won’t be able to provide any specific tips regarding communicating that way - sorry! But we hope this helps y’all get set on the right track. Good luck with building communication with this particular headmate and each other in the future!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi! um do you have any more ways to contact with your headmates internally... weve tried all your methods and it did work a bit but were trying to see if there are any other methods so we can communicate better internally :c its quite a mess over here...

hey. so by “all our methods” we’re assuming you’re referring to our post on establishing contact with headmates. this is really the best advice we can provide.

a few things to keep in mind while you’re attempting internal communication:

1. patience and diligence are both key. building communication takes time, effort, and regular practice. if you only attempt to communicate for a couple weeks then stop putting effort into it, you’re likely to end up back where you started eventually.

2. external communication can often bolster and promote internal communication. for us at least, having multiple avenues of communication externally makes it easier for us to communicate internally. so we’re in touch with each other in our journal, our notes app, google docs, tumblr blogs, through scrawling physical notes, and communicating with each other via our spouse. these external methods of communication help reinforce our validity and reassure us of our existence as a system, which in turn, helps other members to feel more at ease when communicating inside.

3. visualizing your thoughts and how they may interact with the headmate you’re reaching out to may help the communication stick better. it may help to imagine your words reaching the headmate you’re trying to contact clearly and concisely. imagine them receiving the message, even if you’re not sure they heard it or not. having faith that your communication is working, and visualizing your communication as something tangible that can be exchanged, may both help your system achieve better, more concrete internal communication.

4. if you haven’t already (and do not have aphantasia or a similar condition which affects visualizing and imagination), it may help to construct a headspace where your headmates can gather to converse and get to know each other. we like this safe place guide by dis-sos (note: you do not need to be traumatized in order to build and benefit from a safe headspace).

5. understand that different headmates may communicate in different ways. don’t get too discouraged if your headmates don’t respond to you quickly or in a similar manner to how you reached out. system members can be incredibly diverse and unique, and they might have different individual needs and methods of communicating that work for them. particular headmates may struggle with internal communication, or communicating at all for that matter. some headmates may communicate exclusively with images, quotes, or snippets of songs. some may only be able to communicate externally. part of learning about your system will involve learning how your headmates best communicate, and attempting to meet them where they are while accepting them as they are.

sorry if this isn’t super helpful or doesn’t make much sense. idk if we’ve said anything here that could actually be useful, but these are our thoughts on internal communication (that might not have been touched on in our post on establishing contact with headmates). regardless, we’re wishing you luck in learning to better communicate with your system!

🐢 kip and 🦇 alucard